Personals & PM’s - how Not to win guys!

[DDBustyBrit]

Personals & PM’s - how Not to win, guys!

I’ve been hugely entertained recently by the Personals!

So after 7 yrs here, IMHO here’s what won’t get you anywhere probably with many of the Lit ladies you would actually ‘like’ to get to know...

But then it all comes down to what kind of woman you want to attract & interact with?

Words/word combos you might want to reconsider:

C*nt = uh yeh, not sure I need to say anything, IGNORE
Fat cock = seriously not an appealing picture
8-10” flaccid = just bragging & very scary!
Bitch = you’ll find yourself one
Whore = ok once you know she likes it!
Bored = boring/can’t be bothered, I’ll have to do the work!
Jack Off = as in help me, flirting ain’t your thing then huh?
Slut/Cumslut = again, ok once established but find out first!
Hey You = seriously goes all over me, it’s just so generic!
Tits = as in show me, ha why, you’re nothing to me yet!
Horny = hello Originality & welcome to our little club
Suck my Dick = I just laugh when I see this, *winning*
Add me (Kik/Skype etc) = why? Where’s my incentive?
Alpha Male = I see 0 replies more often than not.
Wanna Cam = do I look like a charity, go pay someone!
Lonely = not to be a bitch, but why comes to mind?
Young Hot Asian Chick = yeh you’re a guy!
Bored & Horny = double the appeal, not! See above

Onto PM’s then...

One liners (literally just what is below) get deleted & you go to ignore:

How are you today? = I’m fine thanks bye
Are you horny? = duh this is Lit dude
Wanna chat with me? = why you’ve told me nothing!
Feeling sexy today? = Always - next!
You’re so hot/sexy/pretty/beautiful = predictable!
Hello = yes I’m deadly serious! Some men think that’s a winner

Don’t bombard us, I had some guys last week who just didn’t know when to stop even when I hadn’t replied, or only once. One even demanded a Yes or No when I didn’t reply to the first! I have a life, give me a chance please!

FYI I will always post stalk you before I reply, it tells me so much about whether we might get on, I’ll try to find info on you, so don’t be flaming people all over the boards! Your kinks won’t be a deal breaker, but your dick pic on your profile probably will be! Although I do have one good friend I forgave this, you know who you are

There is only 1 male Litster I have ever sent straight to Skype in all my years here, he skipped my Kik filter & I didn’t even PM him back. I wish I’d kept his first PM as it was a master class in how to get the girl to contact you.

It had a great & eye catching title that stood out (Vestal Virgins) it instantly told me he was educated, smart, cultured. Then he went on to introduce himself politely, gave me his marital status & a personal description. Said what he was looking for, admitted he had been stalking me & liked what he saw. Played a little hard to get, as in refused to just add to the “fan base commenting” on my thread. Said he’d love to get to know me, gave his Skype.

Guess what, I used it instantly, 10 minutes later we were on voice.

So don’t be crude, overbearing, demanding, cocky, expectant. If you follow those rules I for one will usually reply once just to thank you for the interest.

Us Lit ladies are vastly outnumbered, I have had 600+ pms in 2 weeks, 95% got a reply, 5% got ignored, some are still trading pm’s daily.

The X factor with them all - they were interesting, kind, supportive, shared information or common ground, made me smile, flirty but not crass

Have fun out there, be respectful & let your big head lead, not the little one!

 

[dashie33]

How about when you get the cut 'n' paste story with the names CTRL-F'd? That's one of my favourites.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

How about when you get the cut 'n' paste story with the names CTRL-F'd? That's one of my favourites.

ohh ty I forgot the guys who cut & paste, then send you the same pm again within a few weeks

 

[Lastingimpressions]

I feel like you have just left a lot of money on the table with this thread. You could have easily stretched what you covered in to a 300 page book that would have easily become a best seller.

You're very generous.

 

[The_gladiator]

I laughed at some of these. Good stuff, thanks for sharing

 

[Redheadnlegs]

How about the guys who just want you to pass the time until the deeper connection comes along? That is a gem.
Or the job interviewer. Am I hired? Please pick me!

 

[daizyduke77]

Well said!!

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Ohhhhh this is all such great advice!

I am extremely fickle and idiosyncratic when it comes to PMs. The likelihood of me responding depends a lot on how horny I'm feeling at the moment.

But the main thing I look for is whether the person sounds like they'll be fun to talk to. Flirty and clever is always a plus.

(Note--this is not an invitation for a bunch of guys to message me being deliberately Flirty&Clever (tm). )

 

[trojank]

I'm not saying that this isn't the way to write pms but surely it's down to the recipient. I don't mean the are you horny or suck my dick ones ....but surely one size dosent fit all ?

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Ohhhhh this is all such great advice!

I am extremely fickle and idiosyncratic when it comes to PMs. The likelihood of me responding depends a lot on how horny I'm feeling at the moment.

But the main thing I look for is whether the person sounds like they'll be fun to talk to. Flirty and clever is always a plus.

(Note--this is not an invitation for a bunch of guys to message me being deliberately Flirty&Clever (tm). )

This!

I had the same thought about me just inviting them before I posted this but then I thought fuck it! I probably scared most of them away with all my not so subtle opinions.

But so many of them really need the help and seeing as I’m in a generous mood and my mojo, sense of self worth and kickassness is returning, I think I’ll cope!

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I'm not saying that this isn't the way to write pms but surely it's down to the recipient. I don't mean the are you horny or suck my dick ones ....but surely one size dosent fit all ?

Very true, but I also think if you look at some of the ladies responses to some of the worst ones in here, many of us feel the same about certain triggers.

But you’re right too, I’m currently swapping pms with someone who titled their latest ‘Ur Ass’! Having said that he’s one of my ‘stable’ so has earned the right

 

[trojank]

Very true, but I also think if you look at some of the ladies responses to some of the worst ones in here, many of us feel the same about certain triggers.

But you’re right too, I’m currently swapping pms with someone who titled their latest ‘Ur Ass’! Having said that he’s one of my ‘stable’ so has earned the right

Hah ...Ur Ass. Now that's a pessimist in hoping for an answer lol ....if you are into kickboxing your ass will be firm though. Yeah I get where you are coming from !

 

[WillJ8787]

Word

Words to live by.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Hah ...Ur Ass. Now that's a pessimist in hoping for an answer lol ....if you are into kickboxing your ass will be firm though. Yeah I get where you are coming from !

Take a look it’s on my profile

 

[trojank]

Take a look it’s on my profile

I've looked .....

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Sorry ladies, it’s a game of numbers. I send out 100 PM’s, 10% respond, 5% lead to what I really want sexting/pic sharing......why should I waste my time writing a novel to each one, pretending I want some deeper connection just so maybe I get 20% response instead of 10??? i think for most guys on here it’s a supplement to their sex life, not their actual sex life. Unless the guys unemployed, who has that kind of time?

For many women it’s the same, but 4 lines ain’t a novel and you maybe pleasantly surprised. And I don’t think I mentioned a deeper connection, it’s just advice on how to improve your chances of a higher response rate.

Good luck though

 

[midlifecrisispanties]

My all time favorite...

I love your list. But, I might add that the overbearing ones aren't just for you ladies anymore. I actually had one PM me and tell me to go get my Mistress because he was gonna fuck us both. "Get her ass in here because she's next."

Zero attempt to understand dynamics and circumstances. You might at least attempt to pretend you have a clue when using someone like me to get you off.

 

[The_gladiator]

I sort of want to give up trying to make the perfect pm. They always seem to take away who I really am. I get why you listed some of these but damn there are a lot of rules. I really don’t think in real life people are any better we initiate conversations with hi how are you, it’s tough when you can’t use that as a conversation starter online here. Hey, is this seat taken, or can we chat, works in real life, at least to start a conversation but they definitely don’t work here. So trying to just relax and be myself, but admit sometimes I don’t know what to say and yet often the guy is expected to make the first move or to impresss the woman. I get its a ratio thing but yeah maybe I’m just not that interesting some days.

 

[trojank]

I sort of want to give up trying to make the perfect pm. They always seem to take away who I really am. I get why you listed some of these but damn there are a lot of rules. I really don’t think in real life people are any better we initiate conversations with hi how are you, it’s tough when you can’t use that as a conversation starter online here. Hey, is this seat taken, or can we chat, works in real life, at least to start a conversation but they definitely don’t work here. So trying to just relax and be myself, but admit sometimes I don’t know what to say and yet often the guy is expected to make the first move or to impresss the woman. I get its a ratio thing but yeah maybe I’m just not that interesting some days.

I'm not the most successful in the PM department but I read some of the posters posts if I want to talk with them and try and strike up a conversation that way ...it dosent always work but it's better that some of the replies mentioned ...I have managed some interesting chats though

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I sort of want to give up trying to make the perfect pm. They always seem to take away who I really am. I get why you listed some of these but damn there are a lot of rules. I really don’t think in real life people are any better we initiate conversations with hi how are you, it’s tough when you can’t use that as a conversation starter online here. Hey, is this seat taken, or can we chat, works in real life, at least to start a conversation but they definitely don’t work here. So trying to just relax and be myself, but admit sometimes I don’t know what to say and yet often the guy is expected to make the first move or to impresss the woman. I get its a ratio thing but yeah maybe I’m just not that interesting some days.

Glad’, great thoughts thanks and I know from having chatted with you that list is not in your wheelhouse or modus operandum.

I don’t think we need the ‘perfect pm’, hell I have got 1 one time in thousands over the years. If I wait for another I’ll be dried up and no longer interested more than likely. My real point is be respectful, don’t be crude, show a little effort and here’s some things that looking through the Personals (which I did in writing this) clearly aren’t popular.

But at the end of the day, who’s to say that Mr Right won’t send me a one liner that rocks my world later today! And the ‘Hey you’ thing is a very personal pet peeve having had it used on me to inflict hurt knowingly. But it is still pretty impersonal just in general.

Don’t give up, you’re one of the more interesting in here

 

[The_gladiator]

Glad’, great thoughts thanks and I know from having chatted with you that list is not in your wheelhouse or modus operandum.

I don’t think we need the ‘perfect pm’, hell I have got 1 one time in thousands over the years. If I wait for another I’ll be dried up and no longer interested more than likely. My real point is be respectful, don’t be crude, show a little effort and here’s some things that looking through the Personals (which I did in writing this) clearly aren’t popular.

But at the end of the day, who’s to say that Mr Right won’t send me a one liner that rocks my world later today! And the ‘Hey you’ thing is a very personal pet peeve having had it used on me to inflict hurt knowingly. But it is still pretty impersonal just in general.

Don’t give up, you’re one of the more interesting in here

I think the struggle of not always knowing how to connect is one reason I come and go from here. But I’ll stop emoting all over the boards haha. Just in a mood today. Sometimes it sucks to send pm after pm and sometimes pore a lot of effort into them and no one responds.

But thank you for your words. They are kind. No that list is generally not in my wheelhouse, but not sure what my wheel house is anymore haha. I think I over think pms and just need to relax. If they don’t respond, did I really want to talk to them anyway?

 

[skirt_chaser]

Glad’, great thoughts thanks and I know from having chatted with you that list is not in your wheelhouse or modus operandum.

I don’t think we need the ‘perfect pm’, hell I have got 1 one time in thousands over the years. If I wait for another I’ll be dried up and no longer interested more than likely. My real point is be respectful, don’t be crude, show a little effort and here’s some things that looking through the Personals (which I did in writing this) clearly aren’t popular.

But at the end of the day, who’s to say that Mr Right won’t send me a one liner that rocks my world later today! And the ‘Hey you’ thing is a very personal pet peeve having had it used on me to inflict hurt knowingly. But it is still pretty impersonal just in general.

Don’t give up, you’re one of the more interesting in here

Good to get a woman's perspective. Nobody can be "perfect"...especially with words/thoughts from the spur of the moment. Having good conversation and maybe making a connection would be nice.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I think the struggle of not always knowing how to connect is one reason I come and go from here. But I’ll stop emoting all over the boards haha. Just in a mood today. Sometimes it sucks to send pm after pm and sometimes pore a lot of effort into them and no one responds.

But thank you for your words. They are kind. No that list is generally not in my wheelhouse, but not sure what my wheel house is anymore haha. I think I over think pms and just need to relax. If they don’t respond, did I really want to talk to them anyway?

And that right there is the attitude you should have

We are all worth more to the right person Glad’. It’s just it can take a long time to find ‘our’ person, and even when you think you have, sometimes things change.

That doesn’t mean there isn’t another out there, it’s just at times depressing being in that search, or in my case suddenly finding yourself back there unexpectedly.

I have so many I count as friends here, and honestly they’re who stay with you through the good and the bad, as I’m finding out. So sending a pm is never wasted and I’m sure like me, you reply to the ones that are just friendly and respectful.

Btw... I seem to remember you made it to Kik, we just were more suited as friends

 

[trojank]

I've had some conversations that have ended in camming sessions and some that event bothered to answer ...move on and there's plenty more fish in the sea. Call me big headed but it's their loss.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I've had some conversations that have ended in camming sessions and some that event bothered to answer ...move on and there's plenty more fish in the sea. Call me big headed but it's their loss.

My new mantra I’m trying hard to adopt right now