Personals Anybody?

[catalina_francisco]

Miss Taken and I have been putting our heads together...yes, scary we know but so far you are all safe...and were wondering how everyone felt about introducing a permanent Personals section to BDSM Cafe. It has become obvious we are always going to have personals placed in threads or Personals threads of their own and thought this may be one way of eliminating that area of difficulty. It is understandable in a way as I know when I was searching, I was not interested in placing an ad amongst a general Personals section where it may never be discovered by the one I was looking for. It will mean there may be issues we have to deal with, and will maybe increase our moderator load, but if everyone is happy to trial it, we are prepared to oblige. Who knows it may also have the added benefit toattract new posters to our community. Feedback is most welcome.

Catalina

 

[bdsmToy]

I think it is a great idea, hope it does not get abused thou like in some forums where the personal section is a bunch of crap, and alot of the people are fake.





<- Needs Mistress

 

[Vixandra]

Catalina I think its a lovely idea. Tis quite understandable that someone would rather post a personall add in the area of thier interests rather then the random "hope someone finds" it area.
Got my vote.

 

[NemoAlia]

That would be totally fine with me. I figure the people who come into the actual BDSM forum to post personals are probably people whose personal ads are automatically more interesting to me than those folks who post "MDers: swing with us!" and the like. And if it's cordoned off a bit, the personals section probably won't affect those of us who prefer not to read ads during their BDSM discussion time.

Good idea!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks for the responses everyone. I figure while it may create work for us in one way, it may also decrease in another area as ilike Nemo Alia says, not interrrupting those wishing to have discussions and us having to keep moving them etc.

Catalina

 

[Mr Blonde]

Sounds good!

If I can make an additional point....

It would be best (IMHO) if all introductory threads were put into the BDSM Cafe as well. Many times the "Hi, I'm new" posts seem to be intended as personal ads. I can give a few dozen examples but I think you get the idea.

I know it is important to be inclusive but the main forum is doing much better (IMHO) and it would be great to keep the momentum.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sounds good!

If I can make an additional point....

It would be best (IMHO) if all introductory threads were put into the BDSM Cafe as well. Many times the "Hi, I'm new" posts seem to be intended as personal ads. I can give a few dozen examples but I think you get the idea.

I know it is important to be inclusive but the main forum is doing much better (IMHO) and it would be great to keep the momentum.

Yes, I can relate to what you are saying and since joining Miss Taken as moderator it has become more obvious to me this is a problem which is not going to go away on it's own. It is understandable as like I said, when I was looking I was not interested in posting an ad in a general personals and hoping. I wanted to be more sure it was where it would be seen by those who shared my desires and so as we don't have the appropriate section at Lit at the moment, I can relate to why some would think it worth risking placing it in a discussion forum in the hope the right person read it before it was moved.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

floating to the top again for those who have just logged in.......

 

[s'lara]

i think it's a good idea.

It would certainly provide a place for people to advertise freely, but specifically for those interested in BDSM. Given the rash of people who've come to this board looking to connect lately, i think providing an area for such communication is a good thing. i also have a feeling there will be some interesting ads. Good luck with that Miss T and Catalina.

lara

 

[catalina_francisco]

floating to the surface for air....

 

[Shadowsdream]

I first discovered Lit because I was looking for a place to put a personals. The present personals area is totally ineffective in My opinion.
I think a well moderated (not a chat thread) could be very valuable and having it in the cafe seems logical.
If anyone can pull it off you two can.

 

[cremebrulee]

My vote is a definite YEAH

Looking forward to seeing what happens with this....




~Creme

 

[nekos]

bump ....
even though i am new here and don't know all that much about the lit boards, other then every one seems extremely nice and open about every thing.
i can't see how this could be a bad thing.

 

[Mr Blonde]

Allowing personal ads can very easily become a bad thing.

I am not looking for a partner and I don't want to see this place turn into a crappy dating service. I avoid other BDSM communities because some dom/mes start trying to upstage each other and all sorts of silliness because they are trying to impress prospective suitors.

I value the honest discussions where people speak naturally and are not constantly straining to cast themselves in a favorable light.

That said, people will continue to post personals here whether they are allowed or not, so I support the ideas that MissT and catalina have to organize the forum in a way that is respectful to both groups.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Allowing personal ads can very easily become a bad thing.

I am not looking for a partner and I don't want to see this place turn into a crappy dating service. I avoid other BDSM communities because some dom/mes start trying to upstage each other and all sorts of silliness because they are trying to impress prospective suitors.

LOL....that could have a positive effect too. For those submissives looking to find someone, it would give them a good opportunity to see who was mature and self assured enough to cope with the role of Dom/me and those who really need to do a lot of work on themselves before starting on someone else.

I do take your point though and it is relevant. I would hope we could discourage using the forums for a self promotional platform. Given I see a difference in the forums here to begin with, I expect any such strutting would quickly result in the strutting peacock being either ignored or given a clear message from posters their antics were having the opposite effect to what they had hoped. Seems Lit BDSM posters are not overly in favour of pretentiousness and often call it for what it is so perhaps we have a little inbuilt insurance in our favour which keeps us just that little bit different from the rest. Here's hoping.

Catalina

 

[M'lady&kitten]

I too think this is a good idea. When I posted an ad on lit I was to shy to put a BDSM ad on the general personals board. It was only by sheer dumb luck that I found a subbie through it. I would not have felt so alkward if it had been w/i the BDSM area. At lest then I would have felt it would have been read mostly by like minded individuals.

Lady

 

[Quint]

So how are you thinking this will work? Start a sub-forum in the sub-forum designated specifically for personals, or start one huge thread, or let everyone who wants to start their own personals thread do so at risk of bogging down the Cafe?

I think it would be extremely nice, since the two "Looking for Dom/sub" threads in the Personals board seem to sink according to the season.

 

[catalina_francisco]

So how are you thinking this will work? Start a sub-forum in the sub-forum designated specifically for personals, or start one huge thread, or let everyone who wants to start their own personals thread do so at risk of bogging down the Cafe?

I think it would be extremely nice, since the two "Looking for Dom/sub" threads in the Personals board seem to sink according to the season.

I think a singler thread would be a shamozzle, as would loose threads in Cafe which we are trying to move away from, but a sub forum I think could work well if set up well.

Catalina

 

[Lithius]

sounds great! I'd make use of it for sure! I'm in a need for someone (anyone)

 

[niteshade]

I think the sub-forum would be a great idea. It would deffinately be better than trying to wade through the new abundance of "help I need a dom/me" threads.

 

[Quint]

I think a singler thread would be a shamozzle, as would loose threads in Cafe which we are trying to move away from, but a sub forum I think could work well if set up well.

Catalina

Excellent. I'm all for it, for sure. And, by the way, "shamozzle" is now the word of the day.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I think a singler thread would be a shamozzle, as would loose threads in Cafe which we are trying to move away from, but a sub forum I think could work well if set up well.

Catalina

Catalina, you know I have the utmost respect for you.

But, I'd like you to think about the realities of this idea. Currently, people can't even manage to post their threads in the appropriate forums vis-a-vis the Cafe/Talk forum.

What makes you think that they are going to follow another stickies worth of guidelines??

I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of work moving threads.

Call me the devil's advocate, call me being a negative pain-in-the-ass, but splitting the forum yet AGAIN...

or then again, maybe I'll be proven wrong.

My 2 cents.

~anelize

 

[catalina_francisco]

Catalina, you know I have the utmost respect for you.

But, I'd like you to think about the realities of this idea. Currently, people can't even manage to post their threads in the appropriate forums vis-a-vis the Cafe/Talk forum.

What makes you think that they are going to follow another stickies worth of guidelines??

I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of work moving threads.

Call me the devil's advocate, call me being a negative pain-in-the-ass, but splitting the forum yet AGAIN...

or then again, maybe I'll be proven wrong.

My 2 cents.

~anelize

LOL, I figure that if they have a place which is more appropriate than an everything goes personals, at least some will get their aim right. We have to move them now so that won't change too much I hope. I think many post inappropriately in relatiion to Personals in the hope before they are moved on the riight people will see and respond. This way both sides will have a place to go. As to splitting, I was never one in favour last time as you know, but theis looks more like it will be a section in Personals if it happens so will not be splitting anything we have here now. As for time, oh well I spend time on the computer now doing a multitude of things so that won't change too much...and we have volunteers to handle the BDSM Personals if it gets too big!! All things in time I guess.

Catalina

 

[Limbhugger]

Well whatever happens I just want every to know I'm off the market.

hehe...sorry I couldn't resist.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Well whatever happens I just want every to know I'm off the market.

hehe...sorry I couldn't resist.

Party pooper!!!!

Catalina