Personality CharacteristicSome of you might have read the book, Erotic Pows of D&Sers

[Ebonyfire]

Personality Characteristics of D&Sers

Some of you might have read the book, Erotic Power, An Exploration of Dominance and Submission by Gina Graham Scott.

It is a book that studies female dominance in depth, but I believe it can speak to other flavors as well.

In it she says: "Although all types of individuals may enjoy the eroticism and power exchange of (female) dominance, the more specific attractions of D&S reflect a person's personality."

She does on to say: "We can begin to look at the relationship between personality and attraction to D&S by distinguishing between the individual's basic orientation to assertiveness or passivity in everyday life and his or her interest in dominance or submission in a relationship or erotic encounter."

She uses gender and everyday orientation to power to sketch four broad categories:

Assertive men, passive men, assertive women, and passive women. She also says that the attractions of D&S vary by category:

Which one are you? Or, if you are not any one of the poll sections, what flavor are you?

This should be interesting.

Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Personality Characteristics of D&Sers

Some of you might have read the book, Erotic Power, An Exploration of Dominance and Submission by Gina Graham Scott.

It is a book that studies female dominance in depth, but I believe it can speak to other flavors as well.

In it she says: "Although all types of individuals may enjoy the eroticism and power exchange of (female) dominance, the more specific attractions of D&S reflect a person's personality."

She does on to say: "We can begin to look at the relationship between personality and attraction to D&S by distinguishing between the individual's basic orientation to assertiveness or passivity in everyday life and his or her interest in dominance or submission in a relationship or erotic encounter."

She uses gender and everyday orientation to power to sketch four broad categories:

Assertive men, passive men, assertive women, and passive women. She also says that the attractions of D&S vary by category:

Which one are you? Or, if you are not any one of the poll sections, what flavor are you?

This should be interesting.

Ebony

Don't be shy, I wil go first.

I am assertive in everyday life and being dominant is an extension of my nature.

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

Great Thread

this should be fun, Eb, and very interesting too.

I manage an art department, so I have to be assertive in my career.

Rose

 

[Ebonyfire]

~Bump!~

 

[luvsubbbbb]

Re: Personality Characteristics of D&Sers

Some of you might have read the book, Erotic Power, An Exploration of Dominance and Submission by Gina Graham Scott.

It is a book that studies female dominance in depth, but I believe it can speak to other flavors as well.

In it she says: "Although all types of individuals may enjoy the eroticism and power exchange of (female) dominance, the more specific attractions of D&S reflect a person's personality."

She does on to say: "We can begin to look at the relationship between personality and attraction to D&S by distinguishing between the individual's basic orientation to assertiveness or passivity in everyday life and his or her interest in dominance or submission in a relationship or erotic encounter."

She uses gender and everyday orientation to power to sketch four broad categories:

Assertive men, passive men, assertive women, and passive women. She also says that the attractions of D&S vary by category:

Which one are you? Or, if you are not any one of the poll sections, what flavor are you?

This should be interesting.

Ebony

VERY interesting question, Ms Ebony!

when reviewing the categories, i felt that the most appropriate one for me was the passive/submissive one (it didnt let me vote, tho, as it says that my session is invalid, whatever that means), but i DO consider myself to be a "strong submissive", and somewhat assertive but i couldnt pick that choice, since the explaining characteristic was "erotically submissive" (a paraphrase from memory as i have VERY bad luck with moving forward and back in Lit to reread threads) and i am MUCH more submissive than i am "erotically submissive"!

i have not read the book, Ms Ebony, obviously, but when it describes the erotically submissive character, does it refer more to the penchant for kink?....or does the book stick to varieties of D/s, ALL involving power exchanges?

to me, just because i consider myself to be "strong", does NOT lessen my submissive quotient.....

not sure about the assertiveness aspect, tho.........are submissiveness and assertiveness mutually exclusive?....or, if one is high, is the other, by definition, low???

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Personality Characteristics of D&Sers

VERY interesting question, Ms Ebony!

when reviewing the categories, i felt that the most appropriate one for me was the passive/submissive one (it didnt let me vote, tho, as it says that my session is invalid, whatever that means), but i DO consider myself to be a "strong submissive", and somewhat assertive but i couldnt pick that choice, since the explaining characteristic was "erotically submissive" (a paraphrase from memory as i have VERY bad luck with moving forward and back in Lit to reread threads) and i am MUCH more submissive than i am "erotically submissive"!

i have not read the book, Ms Ebony, obviously, but when it describes the erotically submissive character, does it refer more to the penchant for kink?....or does the book stick to varieties of D/s, ALL involving power exchanges?

to me, just because i consider myself to be "strong", does NOT lessen my submissive quotient.....

not sure about the assertiveness aspect, tho.........are submissiveness and assertiveness mutually exclusive?....or, if one is high, is the other, by definition, low???

Luvsub, try relogging in, it shoule let you post then. It has a time out function.

Eb Thanks for the post!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Personality Characteristics of D&Sers

The choice is submissive "in a relationship or erotic encounter". Not erotically submissive. LOL
Also, there is a choice for Assertive in everyday life and submissive as a release or coounterpoint to everyday life.

Hope this helps.

Eb

VERY interesting question, Ms Ebony!

when reviewing the categories, i felt that the most appropriate one for me was the passive/submissive one (it didnt let me vote, tho, as it says that my session is invalid, whatever that means), but i DO consider myself to be a "strong submissive", and somewhat assertive but i couldnt pick that choice, since the explaining characteristic was "erotically submissive" (a paraphrase from memory as i have VERY bad luck with moving forward and back in Lit to reread threads) and i am MUCH more submissive than i am "erotically submissive"!



i have not read the book, Ms Ebony, obviously, but when it describes the erotically submissive character, does it refer more to the penchant for kink?....or does the book stick to varieties of D/s, ALL involving power exchanges?

to me, just because i consider myself to be "strong", does NOT lessen my submissive quotient.....

not sure about the assertiveness aspect, tho.........are submissiveness and assertiveness mutually exclusive?....or, if one is high, is the other, by definition, low???

 

[mskittykatt]

i am very naturally a leader and will be assertive without thought at anytime it is necessary. the way i channel that, and use it in my everyday life is generally to make others happy, reach their goals or work through what is in front of us to do. (more passive?)
i am submissive sexually and in my one on one relationship with my boyfriend like to be submissive outside the bedroom as well.
there's a pretty firm line between my private and public life... so i guess it depends on which you are looking at.

 

[~Dream~]

agreeing with Luvsub

I think I am very much like you hun,although being a single Mom means I have to be quite assertive at times(I hate it too) I still KNOW my basic nature esp when it comes to my Master both erotically and other ways is passive/submissive ,,no doubt about it..and I love that He accepts me as I am..

 

[DRxBlue]

Great idea! Sounds like a good book!

i voted as a "passive switch" which would technically be true, even if i never get physically involved in the practice of BDSM.

i'm equally fascinated by both sides of the D/s equation and have played both parts in the past depending on my partner. Pain i have not had a chance to really explore, but i think i might like it.

In daily life, i tend to be less confrontational. i'm sorta the type "B" person. i stopped running for buses a long time ago.

i have my passions, but they're not immediate.

This could be good,
Blue

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: agreeing with Luvsub

I think I am very much like you hun,although being a single Mom means I have to be quite assertive at times(I hate it too) I still KNOW my basic nature esp when it comes to my Master both erotically and other ways is passive/submissive ,,no doubt about it..and I love that He accepts me as I am..

Dream, I asked the subs in this thread to post their opinions about THEMSELVES, specifically and as individuals.

Please do that. The words of this thread are very specific as to what is being asked.

Eb

 

[cymbidia]

Assertive in everyday life - being submissive is an erotic release and/or counterbalance.

I'm not a submissive-seeming woman to anyone but a very few people in my life. I'm gregarious, assertive, and a take-charge kinda person. I'm centered. I'm a middle school science teacher, for god's sakes. Those 13 and 14 year old kids wold run all over the top of me if i let them!

Being submissive is an important part of my self but not a part i will or have ever shown to many. It's not "just" an erotic release, either, but a true and deeply real portion of who i am at my core.

Really interesting thread, Eb.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Assertive in everyday life - being submissive is an erotic release and/or counterbalance.

I'm not a submissive-seeming woman to anyone but a very few people in my life. I'm gregarious, assertive, and a take-charge kinda person. I'm centered. I'm a middle school science teacher, for god's sakes. Those 13 and 14 year old kids wold run all over the top of me if i let them!

Being submissive is an important part of my self but not a part i will or have ever shown to many. It's not "just" an erotic release, either, but a true and deeply real portion of who i am at my core.

Really interesting thread, Eb.

cym, my sub sissy is a middle school History teacher.

Eb

 

[luvsubbbbb]

Re: Re: Re: Personality Characteristics of D&Sers

Luvsub, try relogging in, it shoule let you post then. It has a time out function.

Eb Thanks for the post!

i tried that, Ms Ebony.....but it wont let me........apparently there is a problem with the Lit software.......cymbidia is gonna get the word out, i believe on that, but apparently the problem IS being worked on......no biggie.....when You scientifically publish the results ( ), please manually alter the results to include me! ....... .5 in with Passive/Submissive

and .5 in with cymbidia's self-classification: "Assertive in everyday life - being submissive is an erotic release and/or counterbalance".

REASONING?: typical of me, being a lifelong fencesitter and devil's advocate, usually seeing 2 sides to every argument, i think i truly belong somewhere in the middle!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Personality Characteristics of D&Sers

i tried that, Ms Ebony.....but it wont let me........apparently there is a problem with the Lit software.......cymbidia is gonna get the word out, i believe on that, but apparently the problem IS being worked on......no biggie.....when You scientifically publish the results ( ), please manually alter the results to include me! ....... .5 in with Passive/Submissive

and .5 in with cymbidia's self-classification: "Assertive in everyday life - being submissive is an erotic release and/or counterbalance".

REASONING?: typical of me, being a lifelong fencesitter and devil's advocate, usually seeing 2 sides to every argument, i think i truly belong somewhere in the middle!

Well, ain't nuttin' wrong with that! It's all good! Thanks for your input!

Eb

 

[WillowPuss]

"Passive in everyday life - being submissve is a good complement to my personal style"


Well, thats me to a T.
Who would've thunk it?

Seriously - I am passive through and through. I can be firm - but I usually do it in such a way as those with whom I am being firm think it is all their doing anyway. (Hmmmm - that makes me sound sneaky!).
I can lead when I have to ... but do not really enjoy it. I would much rather be the second in command.

 

[cymbidia]

cym, my sub sissy is a middle school History teacher.

Bone china, Eb, or something a bit more practical and durable?

 

[Ebonyfire]

"Passive in everyday life - being submissve is a good complement to my personal style"


Well, thats me to a T.
Who would've thunk it?

Seriously - I am passive through and through. I can be firm - but I usually do it in such a way as those with whom I am being firm think it is all their doing anyway. (Hmmmm - that makes me sound sneaky!).
I can lead when I have to ... but do not really enjoy it. I would much rather be the second in command.

Being in business, you see a lot of companies where there are tons of leaders and not enough followers.

Followers have been underrated for eons. But think of it, they are the ones who are led.

Now companies are providing Leadership AND Followership Training. They go hand the in hand.

D/s requires assertiveness and passivity. They are both valuable.
Thanks Royal Willow.

Eb

 

[Red Menace]

Assertive in everyday life - being submissive is an erotic release and/or counterbalance.

I admit it... I'm a very strong-willed, stubborn person who has a tendency to steam-roller over anyone who will let me. So at the end of the day, it's nice to be able to give that all up and allow someone stronger than myself to take control.

 

[cellis]

I voted

Assertive in everyday life. I am a switch.

For me it is becoming more and more two fold.

There is a tremendous release to be able to submit to Himself. To remove myself from responsibility and allow him to make all and every decision. I never think about play time with Himself. From beginning to end, he designs everything.

On the other hand, I am learning how heady it is, how exciting it is to create those same feelings in someone else that Himself creates in me.

But there is a less a need on my part to dominate than there is the need to submit.

There is always a need to please and serve him. That is at the core of my being. All the rest is just window dressing and I can take it or leave it.

 

[SierraMoon]

Assertive in everyday life - being submissive is an erotic release and/or counterbala

i am very assertive in everyday life.. i don't let anyone walk all over me... i believe if something needs to be done, i will make sure it's done..
i am submissive in my very personal life, as i like to serve others, and love the feeling of pride when i do something for them.

Eb, i haven't read the book, but it sounds excellent! i may need to look for it, to add to my very small collection!

 

[morninggirl5]

In my everyday life, i am assertive. If i see something that needs to be done, it gets done (provided it's something i'm passionate about). I've been described several times as a natural leader.

Once someone becomes important to me, though, my submissive nature takes over. The smallest request can become a mission for me to fulfill. Hearing the pleasure in his voice that i've pleased him fills my heart to overflowing.

 

[mskittykatt]

In my everyday life, i am assertive. If i see something that needs to be done, it gets done (provided it's something i'm passionate about). I've been described several times as a natural leader.

Once someone becomes important to me, though, my submissive nature takes over. The smallest request can become a mission for me to fulfill. Hearing the pleasure in his voice that i've pleased him fills my heart to overflowing.

perfect MG!!! i should hire you to speak for me... i'll spew my normal messed up stuff, and you can make it nice and pretty for me. (some days i should just go back to bed...)

 

[morninggirl5]

perfect MG!!! i should hire you to speak for me... i'll spew my normal messed up stuff, and you can make it nice and pretty for me. (some days i should just go back to bed...)

I thought your post was nice and pretty, just like you.


Actually, if your hair was longer, i'd say we could be twins.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I would have to say that I'm submissive in my daily life.

By that, I mean that I generally avoid confrontation if possible and try to be pleasant as much as possible.

I am also very comfortable having my mate take control of finances, driving, major decisions, etc.

That, however, does not mean that I'm a doormat.

For instance, I advocate for my special needs son in the school district on a regular basis. For those who have done it, you know that you have to "fight" to get what your child needs sometimes.

I just do it with gentle persuasion rather than yelling and screaming.