Permanent Damage

[Abradix]

I met my current sub through a seemingly innocuous conversation about weed on twitter. After 3 months, she came to me. While I didn't invite her to move in, she lives relatively close, and we've been enjoying a fantastic physical relationship for about 2 months. Taking on a new sub is always an interesting endeavor, but as long as communication is open success is guaranteed. My current sub is somewhat of a painslut. There is nothing better than belting a gorgeous Puerto Rican ass until its covered in bruises... But I digress...

Recently things have taken an interesting turn, as she asked me to cut her or burn her with a cigarette. I denied her, as any good Dom would but during her aftercare she told me she really did want to bleed for me. She apparently has a blood fetish. This is a new one for me. I'm not completely against the idea... Is there anything more wonderful than a gorgeous girl willing to let you break her body in any way you choose? Is it terrible of me to add blood to the mess of sweat and cum she becomes after playtime?

I suppose my main goal with this post is to gain some perspective, and see if I can still give her what she needs without damaging her lovely body too much. She is a smart, funny, wonderful woman who empowers my entire existence. If what she really wants is slightly taboo, I'm still willing to break new ground for her. However, I'd like to do it in the safest way possible. If anyone has any experience with this I'd highly value your input. All opinions will be taken with a grain of salt, but outright negative comments won't be regarded. Thanks for your time.

 

[malefica]

You could potentially look into finding someone in the local community who specialises in that, for lack of another phrase for it, and see if they would or can mentor you or point you in the right information direction for blood-play.

 

[twister947]

Needle play can be safe, and in vascular tissue produces a bit of blood. Do your homework.

 

[Abradix]

...look into finding someone in the local community who specialises in that...

It's a pretty specific request on her part. I've been having trouble getting help in this department for obvious reasons. She wants to "wear the scars of our love", which is a romantic notion but I'm not sure I'm willing to mark someone for life after only half a year together. I've been told the scars can be reduced with surgical tape, and how how much it shows in 5 years is based on how well the wound is tended, how deep the cut was, etc. I guess its just a bit of a moral grey area for me, and I want to know how others feel about it. I'm sure fucking her up more would make me cum harder, but there's a stigma against men who abuse their ladies even when it's consensual. I hope for this to be less of a how-to thread, and more of a mental playground.

...Do your homework.

This was my first thought, but she specifically asked to be cut or burned. I am doing research elsewhere, but perspective is sometimes helpful. And sometimes not.

 

[SpunThings]

It's a pretty specific request on her part. I've been having trouble getting help in this department for obvious reasons. She wants to "wear the scars of our love", which is a romantic notion but I'm not sure I'm willing to mark someone for life after only half a year together. I've been told the scars can be reduced with surgical tape, and how how much it shows in 5 years is based on how well the wound is tended, how deep the cut was, etc. I guess its just a bit of a moral grey area for me, and I want to know how others feel about it. I'm sure fucking her up more would make me cum harder, but there's a stigma against men who abuse their ladies even when it's consensual. I hope for this to be less of a how-to thread, and more of a mental playground.


This was my first thought, but she specifically asked to be cut or burned. I am doing research elsewhere, but perspective is sometimes helpful. And sometimes not.

You would do well to not use the word abuse when referring to acts that are not only consented to by your partner, but asked for. It isn't abuse, and using that word only encourages your own discomfort with the acts.

With that said, you have to consent to the act as well, not just the partner on the receiving end of the act. If after all your research you are still uncomfortable with it, she needs to accept that.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

You can produce a lot of blood with minimal trauma by blood cupping.
Do research and get advice before any skin penetration.

Sounds as though she wants something permanent. That's something that you have to take on board, your marks there fore a lifetime.

Maybe she would settle for a small, tasteful, professionally done, tattoo. The design of which is something of meaning for her, not necessarily a D/s one, but one with your permission and approval behind it. That way she gets a meaningful mark that isn't ugly and maybe further down the line consider scarification when you have both had time to think about it.

 

[Abradix]

...you have to consent to the act as well, not just the partner on the receiving end of the act. If after all your research you are still uncomfortable with it, she needs to accept that.

If I see a woman with a cigarette burn on her shoulder, my first thought is always "abuse", not "experimental sexual relationship". I apologize if my choice of words offended you, but I assure you I'm comfortable with the majority of the situation. To answer the latter, of course I consent, she has done the world for me and this is the first thing she's ever asked for... She would accept being told no, but I want to give her what she needs.

Maybe she would settle for a small, tasteful, professionally done, tattoo. The design of which is something of meaning for her, not necessarily a D/s one, but one with your permission and approval behind it. That way she gets a meaningful mark that isn't ugly and maybe further down the line consider scarification when you have both had time to think about it.

This is actually supremely sensible. Not sure why I hadn't considered this before. I won't allow her to get something like my name. Small and classy is still the ticket. You can wear my scar. My scar just happens to look like a turtle or some shit lolol Thanks for all the responses but I think I found the answer I'm looking for. Much appreciated Daisy-Mae! Thread is obviously still open, so feel free to discuss. I continue my endless lurking.

 

[iadr]

I've taken cigarette marks and then a year after, progressed to having the lighter used on me. Rational, clear headed, sustainable play form for me.
Unfortunately not for the latter partner. (I miss her).

If you are going with the tattoo, be aware this may not be enough for her. It *might* be if it's the first one, and she doesn't chose it. Something subtly sexual- perhaps the female (circle-cross) symbol on her butt, or that has a subtle badgirl hint- a large wavy-arm star-sun around her navel, for example. Make the appointment yourself, then take her out for coffee. Abruptly introduce the topic, rush her decision making, or proceed in the conversation like it's a done deal. Don't give her specifics- have an envelope with a drawing specifying the location of the ink and showing the pattern, that she will give the artist, with that being the first time she knows the specifics.

 

[SpunThings]

If I see a woman with a cigarette burn on her shoulder, my first thought is always "abuse", not "experimental sexual relationship". I apologize if my choice of words offended you, but I assure you I'm comfortable with the majority of the situation. To answer the latter, of course I consent, she has done the world for me and this is the first thing she's ever asked for... She would accept being told no, but I want to give her what she needs.




This is actually supremely sensible. Not sure why I hadn't considered this before. I won't allow her to get something like my name. Small and classy is still the ticket. You can wear my scar. My scar just happens to look like a turtle or some shit lolol Thanks for all the responses but I think I found the answer I'm looking for. Much appreciated Daisy-Mae! Thread is obviously still open, so feel free to discuss. I continue my endless lurking.

Do what you want. I don't know why you think I'm offended.

 

[sexnovella]

It sounds

Dangerous and risky

 

[misskitty2k15]

Being a female and a submissive I completely understand what she is asking for and why. I as well am a "painslut" if you will (although I don't really prefer that name). I have asked my fiancee to do some similar things to me but he won't because I have been a cutter for YEARS!!! I have been in therapy and everything to get to the root of the why's and all of that but, at the end of the day I love pain. I just can't help it. Since I'm a cutter my fiancee won't do this for me. He will inflict pain on me in any other way that I request or if it's something he wants to try. I also like when I have permanent marks on my skin but I don't have that many because I give myself great after care to avoid ugly/permanent scars. Vitamin E sticks and Neosporin work wonders as does cocoa butter and making sure you keep it clean and dry. I think if she wants you to do this just start small, maybe just get a really sharp knife, X-acto knife, razor blade, etc. and using light pressure just make small lines and the blood will pool to the surface and it feels really good. Be careful not to cut too deep to begin with. If this is something she wants and it is consensual you shouldn't worry so much about it. Do some research on it and see what else you think. With that being said I do understand your hesitation and struggles with the morality of it because nothing is black and white. Just experiment and see what happens. I read the one comment about the tattoo and I can tell you that, that would not work for me because it's not happening during a scene or play time so the effect isn't the same. I hope you figure out something. Good luck!

 

[misskitty2k15]

Also, I do most of my cutting in areas that are not clearly visible. Mostly on my hips, thighs and stomach.

 

[twister947]

Disposable scalpels are sharp, sterile, and cheap.

 

[BBbumboy]

You could always consider whipping. Nothing like a bull whip but a ninetails or a cane can draw blood without being the danger of cutting too deep and hitting a vessel or God forbid an artery. It can cause marks but if done on the inner thighs or the butt it's very unlikely to cause any sort of damage due to the amount of fatty tissue in the area. Before trying anything with any of my partners we've collectively done alot of serious research and even given up on things we badly wanted to try because if you care about who you're with, safety is the absolute one rule that I think is a blanket over all kinks. A slip with a scalpel is alot worse than a slip with a whip.