Perhaps it is not poetry...

[twelveoone]

One of the problems I have reading new poems is if I get to the end before the writer does, the poem is DOA. WHERE ARE WE GOING WITH THIS! This is also known as "telegraphing" as in punch. See I view poetry as an engagement and the "poem" often lies with its face on the mat by the second stanza. Yeh, a boxing match.

Now this guy often will not win on points, but check this out

he sidesteps
he sidesteps
he sidesteps
jab
God this is the rhythm of a boxing match, he's pacing you, he's going the distance and then POW, he knocks you out. Now I don't know about the last three lines, because at the previous two all I heard was a ten count.

So you go back and read, oh. that is how we got there (foreshadowing).
And he gets you there by pacing, never staying in the same place too long. (and boring you)

http://www.literotica.com/p/raising-a-finger-to-father

This one I feel the title should have been "Giving the finger to Father", but is more deserving of the four comments, he is a better writer than most give him credit for.

 

[bogusagain]

This one I feel the title should have been "Giving the finger to Father", but is more deserving of the four comments, he is a better writer than most give him credit for.

Seems to me he's sink estate cheeky chappy acid trip blarny kissing psycho stiff marker wall scrawling junk laureate.

There's potential but he hasn't got the discipline to achieve it.

 

[twelveoone]

Seems to me he's sink estate cheeky chappy acid trip blarny kissing psycho stiff marker wall scrawling junk laureate.

There's potential but he hasn't got the discipline to achieve it.

Disagree...
about the discipline

noticed more and more structure in his work,
don't know about the last month or so.

 

[pinkcherry]

I agree with bogusagain. It does not quite "punch" me.