Passive and active voice

[starrkers]

Yep it's a writerly thread and yes, I'm procrastinating instead of writing

I just noticed the spell checker on my current story reckons I'm running 10% passive on this one, I usually run about 3-4%. So I went hunting to find them.

The first one was: "How could she let herself be fooled like that?"
The second was: "She was trapped."

I stopped looking. I decided I don't care about 10% passive. I aint changing either of those sentences, they fit perfectly in context and, frankly, I can't figure out how to change the second one.

Sometimes, I think, passive is necessary.

What do you all think? And why is passive so reviled?

 

[rgraham666]

To be honest, the passive voice isn't something I understand. I've had it explained to me a hundred times and I still don't really know what it is.

All I know is I turn off grammar checkers on any word processor I'm using. I'm damned if I'm going to have some computer programmer tell me how to write.

 

[Nasha]

What do you all think? And why is passive so reviled?

I don't know. But I'm pretty sure I want to read that story, when you've finished it.

Or should I say, Your story will be eagerly read by me when it's been finished by you.

 

[glynndah]

To be honest, the passive voice isn't something I understand. I've had it explained to me a hundred times and I still don't really know what it is.

All I know is I turn off grammar checkers on any word processor I'm using. I'm damned if I'm going to have some computer programmer tell me how to write.

I just want it to tell me if I need a comma there or there or there. They never do, but I always put them in, just in case.

 

[FatDino]

I don't know. But I'm pretty sure I want to read that story, when you've finished it.

Or should I say, Your story will be eagerly read by me when it's been finished by you.

Actually, you didn't need to say "by you." It's automically understood since the author is her anyway.

 

[TE999]

Actually, you didn't need to say "by you." It's automically understood since the author is her anyway.

So says the Fat Dino Grammar Checker (tm).

 

[starrkers]

I get a giggle out of the grammar checker sometimes - it is so patently wrong!
Like it wanted to change "where's that" to "where that is" and "where the hell had he come from" to "where the hell had he comes from"

 

[FatDino]

So says the Fat Dino Grammar Checker (tm).

I'm still no where near the Cloudy Spell Check

 

[TE999]

I'm still no where near the Cloudy Spell Check

ROFLMAO. And it don't pay to get too close.

(j/k Warrior Woman)

 

[FatDino]

ROFLMAO. And it don't pay to get too close.

(j/k Warrior Woman)

Thanks to you my keyboard is now covered in cookie bits. LMAO....

 

[Sherry Hawk]

Oh, c'mon she's not THAT bad.

 

[WhiteWave48]

trapped or fooled?

*****

 

[TE999]

Thanks to you my keyboard is now covered in cookie bits. LMAO....

At least you weren't drinking soda.

"Cue the ants."

 

[FatDino]

Oh, c'mon she's not THAT bad.

And YOU would know about that, huh?

 

[Weird Harold]

I just noticed the spell checker on my current story reckons I'm running 10% passive on this one, I usually run about 3-4%. So I went hunting to find them.

The first one was: "How could she let herself be fooled like that?"
The second was: "She was trapped."

I stopped looking. ...

I'd look further if you're up to 10%.

According to the Purdue University's Online Writing Lab's page on passive voice, "...overuse of passive voice throughout an essay can make it flat and uninteresting."

Over the years since that comment was first pointed out to me, I've struggled to avoid "overuse" of passive voice. In the process I've noticed that the predicted "flat and uninteresting" effect usually begins somewhere around 3-5% as reported by MS Word's readability statistics.

Passive voice does have a place -- else it wouldn't exist -- but it does push the reader away from being involved in the story when it's overused.

Overused is definitely the key issue with passive voice, whether it's overused in just one section that is heavily passive or spread heavily throughout a story it makes for boring and unineresting text.

One other thing I've noticed about stories with passive voice problems: only about 20% of sentences are technically passive or active, so 3-5% is actually 15-25% of those sentences where there is a choce of active or passive and 10% is close to half of the sentences where you have a choice.

When the percentage of technically passive voice sentences gets that high, I tend to find that the author has gotten into a "passive mind-set" where even the technicaly active voice sentences have a passive, detatched feel to them -- disembodied body parts doing things to someone insead of the owner of the body parts doing something to a partner, for example.

If nothing else, Passive Voice should be ruthlessly suppressed in any story you hope to earn a high score or numerous comments from, because people don't vote or comment on "flat and uninteresting."

 

[WhiteWave48]

*****

 

[Weird Harold]

"Overuse" is the key word here. There's always a good reason for passive now and then, just not always.

Your point about the passive 'mindset' is a good one too.

Knowing the effect Passive Voice has on the reader makes it a useful tool when you want them to skim over a section so they miss a clue or foreshadowing.

I think the main objection o passive voice in fiction is that it is, all too often, overused by accident or from ignorance.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Passive definitely has its place- when my busy little girl Jessamine suddenly gets what she was wanting and her tops take over, for instance. I (hope I) used a couple of passive construction right at that point to express the sudden sense of disconnectedness.

But I admit that I prefer an active construction most of the time. I do think it's more fun to read.

 

[elsol]

A good story overcomes everythng.

*shrug*

I normally get rid of some of the passivity in a my stories by word counting... 'was' is one of my favorite words to chop.

 

[Darkniciad]

After aggressively attacking this for a while, I discovered that I came to a point where I wasn't finishing anything, because I dreaded fighting passive voice blips from Word for hours on end when I went into editing mode.

I'm going to work on it again in the next story, but the last several things I've written have had that element of the style check turned completely off. The stress of dealing with it just completely took all the fun out of writing.

 

[angelicminx]

My last submission, Now and Forever, has 0% passive voice. It was a bitch to eliminate the 'problem sentences', but in this case well worth the effort.

 

[yevkassem72]

To be honest, the passive voice isn't something I understand. I've had it explained to me a hundred times and I still don't really know what it is.

All I know is I turn off grammar checkers on any word processor I'm using. I'm damned if I'm going to have some computer programmer tell me how to write.

Maybe it's my anarchistic nature, but I totally concur.

 

[FatDino]

At least you weren't drinking soda.

"Cue the ants."

God bless where I'm staying. You can spill honey all over and still no ants will come.

 

[cantdog]

Weird has a point. Passive voice is the form of choice in writing minutes of meetings. "Such and so was discussed and voted on" or "Half the sum was allocated for grass mowing expenses."

Bureaucrats, in other words, reflexively use passive voice. You wanna sound like a bureaucrat?

 

[Weird Harold]

Weird has a point. Passive voice is the form of choice in writing minutes of meetings. "Such and so was discussed and voted on" or "Half the sum was allocated for grass mowing expenses."

Bureaucrats, in other words, reflexively use passive voice. You wanna sound like a bureaucrat?

It's also the natural choice for technical writing -- which is my background and the reason I have to fight so hard not to use passive voice.