Paris Hilton the bodyguard

[loquere]

->Vacationing FBI agent Jack Moore goes for a run outside his LA hotel
->Hey see's a pink Bentley coup pulling out of a mansion driveway, shakes his head. Shakes it even more when he notices it's Paris Hilton.
->He turns the corner continuing his run, after this he hears a scream

-He runs back to see that a masked man in a black hoodie has approached the pink bentley smashing the passenger window with a crowbar. He also sees a moving truck with a ramp wide enough for a car to go up. Jack draws his glock 23 aims and yells, federal agent at the masked man.

The man runs away leaving the shattered window and Paris. Jack runs after the masked man warning him he'll shoot. The man gets into the passenger side of the truck and it drives off.


-Jack goes back to the shaken Paris Hilton who gives him a full on hug for saving her.

-The LAPD arrive 10 minutes later, There not happy Jack a FBI agent is there saying he has no jurisdiction
-He mentions the truck had Out of state plates, indicating I'd it was an attempted kidnaping it's FBI territory.

-They tell Paris there's nothing they can do, it was probably an excited fan.
-They call Jacks kidnaping truck story ridiculouse and that If he thought it was a threat he would have fired. They offer Paris no protect budget cuts etc

-Jack offers to stay the week with Paris before he heads back to Washington. NON EROTIC no sex. They become friends.

 

[Sean Renaud]

You have a lot of moving parts here that serve no purpose at all or are blatantly false.

You're allowed to shoot someone in self defense or in defense of another person's life. Just because he didn't doesn't mean anything especially as this guy ran away. That's as easily explaines as not wanting to risk a trial that could go poorly. It's obviously a bit difficult to explain self-defense against a man with a crowbar when the bullet is in his back several yards away. So he had "juristiction" or more accurately didn't need it.

The cops would investigate which would go quickly. Dust for prints, ask for a description and most likely they'd go away. Celebrities kinda have to provide their own security (technically so do MOST people cops only stay to guard you if there is evidence of immenent danger) There is no reason they would disrespect Jack though.

Jack clearly doesn't respect Hilton though and she's not offering money. Why is he offering to stay with her for the rest of the week if his goal ISN'T to get some? Perhaps if she offered to pay him or if he was a fan of hers this would make more sense.

The rest isn't bad though.

 

[KlaytonFrost]

Yeah, I agree that it seems pretty complicated. Unnecisarily so. But if you can work out the wrinkles and make a credible story of it, then it looks like a fun read.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I can see it as a good read. There is a good story in there just usually you want to boil out any unnecessary moving parts. Here's what my outline for this would be.

1. Jack is just a regular guy, I can take or leave the gun.
2. He see's the Hilton Mobile and scoffs at the "rich bitch", perhaps she's (indirectly) doing something annoying. Traffic was backed up or parking was full whatever
3. She's attacked, he comes in for the save. Cops are entirely glossed over.
4. She doesn't feel safe and he jokingly offers to stay with her. (It'll save him what? a few hundred even at the cheapest motel?) To his surprise she insists even after he tries to back out.
5. She starts coming on to him and he denies her 3 times (symbolic number and smaller than 7 which is the next truly symbolic number) The first time because she's drunk, second because he feels it's taking advantage of her, final time he either gives in or insert reason, then he gives in.
6. SEX!!!!

I would recommend watching a few videos or interviews or what not on Paris though. The reason you right celebrity stories is because the person's looks are well enough known that you don't need to describe them much at all. I can for example DESCRIBE a beautiful caramel hued, blond woman. Or I can simply say Beyonce. Second is they have a persona that is well known and this one seems to be the GOOD type of celeb story that is tapping into both.

Right off the bat we know how this guy feels about Paris Hilton. The same way most of us do. She is/was annoying. But few of us (being honest) would kick her out of bed if she offered though. So we've got a GREAT start here. Actually we've got a pretty good story just we kinda need someone who knows Paris well enough to remember how to invoke who she is.

 

[loquere]

I can see it as a good read. There is a good story in there just usually you want to boil out any unnecessary moving parts. Here's what my outline for this would be.

1. Jack is just a regular guy, I can take or leave the gun.
2. He see's the Hilton Mobile and scoffs at the "rich bitch", perhaps she's (indirectly) doing something annoying. Traffic was backed up or parking was full whatever
3. She's attacked, he comes in for the save. Cops are entirely glossed over.
4. She doesn't feel safe and he jokingly offers to stay with her. (It'll save him what? a few hundred even at the cheapest motel?) To his surprise she insists even after he tries to back out.
5. She starts coming on to him and he denies her 3 times (symbolic number and smaller than 7 which is the next truly symbolic number) The first time because she's drunk, second because he feels it's taking advantage of her, final time he either gives in or insert reason, then he gives in.
6. SEX!!!!

I would recommend watching a few videos or interviews or what not on Paris though. The reason you right celebrity stories is because the person's looks are well enough known that you don't need to describe them much at all. I can for example DESCRIBE a beautiful caramel hued, blond woman. Or I can simply say Beyonce. Second is they have a persona that is well known and this one seems to be the GOOD type of celeb story that is tapping into both.

Right off the bat we know how this guy feels about Paris Hilton. The same way most of us do. She is/was annoying. But few of us (being honest) would kick her out of bed if she offered though. So we've got a GREAT start here. Actually we've got a pretty good story just we kinda need someone who knows Paris well enough to remember how to invoke who she is.

Did not read all of this, as soon as you said regular guy. I said FUCK THAT SHIT. I done spent days emailing the FBI for details. Guns the use investigating styls blah blah blah MOTHERFUCKER IF AN FBI NINJA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[loquere]

I can see it as a good read. There is a good story in there just usually you want to boil out any unnecessary moving parts. Here's what my outline for this would be.

1. Jack is just a regular guy, I can take or leave the gun.
2. He see's the Hilton Mobile and scoffs at the "rich bitch", perhaps she's (indirectly) doing something annoying. Traffic was backed up or parking was full whatever
3. She's attacked, he comes in for the save. Cops are entirely glossed over.
4. She doesn't feel safe and he jokingly offers to stay with her. (It'll save him what? a few hundred even at the cheapest motel?) To his surprise she insists even after he tries to back out.
5. She starts coming on to him and he denies her 3 times (symbolic number and smaller than 7 which is the next truly symbolic number) The first time because she's drunk, second because he feels it's taking advantage of her, final time he either gives in or insert reason, then he gives in.
6. SEX!!!!

I would recommend watching a few videos or interviews or what not on Paris though. The reason you right celebrity stories is because the person's looks are well enough known that you don't need to describe them much at all. I can for example DESCRIBE a beautiful caramel hued, blond woman. Or I can simply say Beyonce. Second is they have a persona that is well known and this one seems to be the GOOD type of celeb story that is tapping into both.

Right off the bat we know how this guy feels about Paris Hilton. The same way most of us do. She is/was annoying. But few of us (being honest) would kick her out of bed if she offered though. So we've got a GREAT start here. Actually we've got a pretty good story just we kinda need someone who knows Paris well enough to remember how to invoke who she is.

Scuffs at the rich bitch NOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[loquere]

I can see it as a good read. There is a good story in there just usually you want to boil out any unnecessary moving parts. Here's what my outline for this would be.

1. Jack is just a regular guy, I can take or leave the gun.
2. He see's the Hilton Mobile and scoffs at the "rich bitch", perhaps she's (indirectly) doing something annoying. Traffic was backed up or parking was full whatever
3. She's attacked, he comes in for the save. Cops are entirely glossed over.
4. She doesn't feel safe and he jokingly offers to stay with her. (It'll save him what? a few hundred even at the cheapest motel?) To his surprise she insists even after he tries to back out.
5. She starts coming on to him and he denies her 3 times (symbolic number and smaller than 7 which is the next truly symbolic number) The first time because she's drunk, second because he feels it's taking advantage of her, final time he either gives in or insert reason, then he gives in.
6. SEX!!!!

I would recommend watching a few videos or interviews or what not on Paris though. The reason you right celebrity stories is because the person's looks are well enough known that you don't need to describe them much at all. I can for example DESCRIBE a beautiful caramel hued, blond woman. Or I can simply say Beyonce. Second is they have a persona that is well known and this one seems to be the GOOD type of celeb story that is tapping into both.

Right off the bat we know how this guy feels about Paris Hilton. The same way most of us do. She is/was annoying. But few of us (being honest) would kick her out of bed if she offered though. So we've got a GREAT start here. Actually we've got a pretty good story just we kinda need someone who knows Paris well enough to remember how to invoke who she is.

I like the third part but nooo. Not my story at all, you told it into any stupid lit whorefest

 

[loquere]

I can see it as a good read. There is a good story in there just usually you want to boil out any unnecessary moving parts. Here's what my outline for this would be.

1. Jack is just a regular guy, I can take or leave the gun.
2. He see's the Hilton Mobile and scoffs at the "rich bitch", perhaps she's (indirectly) doing something annoying. Traffic was backed up or parking was full whatever
3. She's attacked, he comes in for the save. Cops are entirely glossed over.
4. She doesn't feel safe and he jokingly offers to stay with her. (It'll save him what? a few hundred even at the cheapest motel?) To his surprise she insists even after he tries to back out.
5. She starts coming on to him and he denies her 3 times (symbolic number and smaller than 7 which is the next truly symbolic number) The first time because she's drunk, second because he feels it's taking advantage of her, final time he either gives in or insert reason, then he gives in.
6. SEX!!!!

I would recommend watching a few videos or interviews or what not on Paris though. The reason you right celebrity stories is because the person's looks are well enough known that you don't need to describe them much at all. I can for example DESCRIBE a beautiful caramel hued, blond woman. Or I can simply say Beyonce. Second is they have a persona that is well known and this one seems to be the GOOD type of celeb story that is tapping into both.

Right off the bat we know how this guy feels about Paris Hilton. The same way most of us do. She is/was annoying. But few of us (being honest) would kick her out of bed if she offered though. So we've got a GREAT start here. Actually we've got a pretty good story just we kinda need someone who knows Paris well enough to remember how to invoke who she is.

4. I tried to do something to show a human side of Paris. NOOO to part 4 too

 

[loquere]

I can see it as a good read. There is a good story in there just usually you want to boil out any unnecessary moving parts. Here's what my outline for this would be.

1. Jack is just a regular guy, I can take or leave the gun.
2. He see's the Hilton Mobile and scoffs at the "rich bitch", perhaps she's (indirectly) doing something annoying. Traffic was backed up or parking was full whatever
3. She's attacked, he comes in for the save. Cops are entirely glossed over.
4. She doesn't feel safe and he jokingly offers to stay with her. (It'll save him what? a few hundred even at the cheapest motel?) To his surprise she insists even after he tries to back out.
5. She starts coming on to him and he denies her 3 times (symbolic number and smaller than 7 which is the next truly symbolic number) The first time because she's drunk, second because he feels it's taking advantage of her, final time he either gives in or insert reason, then he gives in.
6. SEX!!!!

I would recommend watching a few videos or interviews or what not on Paris though. The reason you right celebrity stories is because the person's looks are well enough known that you don't need to describe them much at all. I can for example DESCRIBE a beautiful caramel hued, blond woman. Or I can simply say Beyonce. Second is they have a persona that is well known and this one seems to be the GOOD type of celeb story that is tapping into both.

Right off the bat we know how this guy feels about Paris Hilton. The same way most of us do. She is/was annoying. But few of us (being honest) would kick her out of bed if she offered though. So we've got a GREAT start here. Actually we've got a pretty good story just we kinda need someone who knows Paris well enough to remember how to invoke who she is.

SEX yes it the only thing I agree with

 

[loquere]

You have a lot of moving parts here that serve no purpose at all or are blatantly false.

You're allowed to shoot someone in self defense or in defense of another person's life. Just because he didn't doesn't mean anything especially as this guy ran away. That's as easily explaines as not wanting to risk a trial that could go poorly. It's obviously a bit difficult to explain self-defense against a man with a crowbar when the bullet is in his back several yards away. So he had "juristiction" or more accurately didn't need it.

The cops would investigate which would go quickly. Dust for prints, ask for a description and most likely they'd go away. Celebrities kinda have to provide their own security (technically so do MOST people cops only stay to guard you if there is evidence of immenent danger) There is no reason they would disrespect Jack though.

Jack clearly doesn't respect Hilton though and she's not offering money. Why is he offering to stay with her for the rest of the week if his goal ISN'T to get some? Perhaps if she offered to pay him or if he was a fan of hers this would make more sense.

The rest isn't bad though.

Yeah i know he's alowed to shoot him but he chooses not to going to why the LAPD did'nt consider it a threat. i wrote it that way shoot me. ((((Jurisdiction over an investigation)))))) (((I make it so they don't care and have no maney to care the LAPD IS BROKE)))(((I have seen real cases where they would post a car, but I do write that they do not.


-he stays becuse more over he's on vacation but clearly dosen't like vacation. We write becuse we like it.He protects because he has time 1, he got into his profession to protect people, HE HAS A DICK 3, HE WOULD NOT TAKE HER MONEY.

GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[loquere]

Yeah, I agree that it seems pretty complicated. Unnecisarily so. But if you can work out the wrinkles and make a credible story of it, then it looks like a fun read.

I think everything is necessary. I'm looking for a detective story. Now that I think about a celebrity story about Paris Hilton would be better as non erotic. If they did'nt have sex at all. If they were just good friends.

 

[sr71plt]

I'd start with the reality that Paris Hilton is a bubble-headed scag . . . and then wouldn't write a story about her for this site.

You are turned on by Paris Hilton? Seriously?

 

[loquere]

I'd start with the reality that Paris Hilton is a bubble-headed scag . . . and then wouldn't write a story about her for this site.

You are turned on by Paris Hilton? Seriously?

She is a human being and i'm not judging her because I don't know her. There's more to her i'm sure and I think a non erotic story would get to that humanity. No sex no discussion on her looks. Just about her as a person. her sucess as a busineswoman, fashion sense the pressure of attention etc


-The point is to do something different
-Let's see the other side of the coin for now
-Like apple says think differently

 

[sr71plt]

Silly me. I always keep thinking this is an erotica site.

 

[loquere]

Silly me. I always keep thinking this is an erotica site.

The fact that it is'nt simply one thing is what makes Literotica so great. It's the America of the erotic story world.

 

[LadyVer]

What's a Lit whorefest?

 

[loquere]

What's a Lit whorefest?

I read a story on here once where a girl gets scared by a cricket. Guy kills it she fucks him in public.


This rediculouse nonsense of sex before story.


NO I SAY NO. STORY FIRST SEX LATER.

 

[LadyVer]

I read a story on here once where a girl gets scared by a cricket. Guy kills it she fucks him in public.


This rediculouse nonsense of sex before story.


NO I SAY NO. STORY FIRST SEX LATER.

oh. Well to each their own. But if you had seen the story another author asked me to edit recently, what you're describing is not abnormal for a porn story. The whole 40 page document was a one-scene sex scene. Literally. Not something I would edit, but I'm.sure there are those who are looking for stories like this.

 

[loquere]

oh. Well to each their own. But if you had seen the story another author asked me to edit recently, what you're describing is not abnormal for a porn story. The whole 40 page document was a one-scene sex scene. Literally. Not something I would edit, but I'm.sure there are those who are looking for stories like this.

I'll send yu half a brick of gold if you email it to me at [Email removed per forum rules].

 

[LadyVer]

I'll send yu half a brick of gold if you email it to me at [Email removed per forum rules].

ROTFLMAO!

I'm sure Eric would appreciate your referral.

 

[LWulf]

I'd start with the reality that Paris Hilton is a bubble-headed scag . . . and then wouldn't write a story about her for this site.

You are turned on by Paris Hilton? Seriously?

Just to add my two cents...

I don't tend to like the twiggy look myself, and when she is the "attention whore", tends to set me giggling, not for nothing, but there was once when I saw her without the facade of a camera on her and without the makeup caked on, where I said, my gosh, she IS attractive.

I see her as a diamond that could use some roughing up...

*****************​

back on topic:
As to a storyline without any sex, okay, romance has it's eroticism too. More of the "cliffhanger sort of teasing than pleasing" mentality. It just would have to be a REALLY good read for me to appreciate it though... tropes usually aren't my bag, unless you put a really wicked spin on it.
Note: well-to-do ladies in romantic teasing story plots are what fuel the "cold hearted rich bitch" mentality. So some artful fancy dancing would be required from a literary stance, so as not to follow that motif.

 

[loquere]

Just to add my two cents...

I don't tend to like the twiggy look myself, and when she is the "attention whore", tends to set me giggling, not for nothing, but there was once when I saw her without the facade of a camera on her and without the makeup caked on, where I said, my gosh, she IS attractive.

I see her as a diamond that could use some roughing up...

*****************​

back on topic:
As to a storyline without any sex, okay, romance has it's eroticism too. More of the "cliffhanger sort of teasing than pleasing" mentality. It just would have to be a REALLY good read for me to appreciate it though... tropes usually aren't my bag, unless you put a really wicked spin on it.
Note: well-to-do ladies in romantic teasing story plots are what fuel the "cold hearted rich bitch" mentality. So some artful fancy dancing would be required from a literary stance, so as not to follow that motif.

No romance. FRIENDSHIP!