Parents and teachers: I have a situation for you...

[lilminx]

Parents: Suppose you have a six year old son. You're helping him with his homeworf, and just finished it with him. For no apparent reason, he draws in crayon on your kitchen table. You calmly ask him why he did it. He has no answer for you. He has been misbehaving all day, and this isn't the first time he's drawn on your furniture. What do you do?

Teachers: Suppose you have a six year old student- no disabilities, but rambunctious. He has been misbehaving all day, and at the end of the day he needs help with some of his work. You sit down to help him, and when he finishes, you praise him for finishing it on his own. You turn away for a minute, and when you turn back to him, you see him drawing on the table with crayons. When you calmly ask him why, he has no answer for you. He has been misbehaving all day, and this isn't the fist time this school year that you have caught him drawing on the tables. What do you do?

 

[peachykeen]

Six year olds hardly ever have a good explanation for why they do anything. I mean, they're six. They kind of have an idea about right and wrong but largely they still just do stuff just because it struck them as a good idea to do so.

As a teacher I would never want to squelch a kid's creativity. I would talk with the kid, explain what are appropriate ways for him to express himself ("this is where we keep paper you are allowed to draw on") and explain why they can't draw on the desk. Lay out some clear repercussions of what will happen if they do it again (revoking 10 minutes of playground privileges, no checking out library books that week, whatever).

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

I would at least get him to watch me clean it if not make him help or actually do it himself. He can get the soapy water and see what it takes to scrub it so he knows the consequences of what he did. And if he gives me lip about cleaning it, no TV until the next meal. He can read a book.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Six year olds still have plenty of days with lapses in judgment, low impulse control and just plain not thinking.

I would have made him clean it up and taken away the crayons for a couple of days.

 

[Tantanah]

As a teacher I would try to help the child find an outlet for his creativity. Offer him clear choices...it's not appropriate to draw on the table but you can draw on this or this. I would also make sure to have extra supples, paper etc on hand easily accessable to him. Also maybe use it as an incentive. Make it a part of his day that he could look forward to when all his work is done. Lay out clear positive and negative consequences for him.

 

[Guest]

 

[Lancecastor]

The kid either needs a hug, is bothered by something or is named ~Dream.

I would start eating one of the crayons and offer some to the kid, turning the conversation to Crayon Pie, Crayon Strudel, etc.

The kid's bored. Play with him. Love him.

 

[Mrs Christophe]

oh, just have him clean it, being a boy he won't like to clean and he won't do it again.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Six year olds still have plenty of days with lapses in judgment, low impulse control and just plain not thinking.

I would have made him clean it up and taken away the crayons for a couple of days.

Are you postulating that they outgrow that lapse in judgement thing???

I'd do the same thing that I do everytime my almost-6 year old uses the french doors, the floor, the couch, the table, the walls, or her sister as a canvas. I explain for the bazillionth time that we color on paper, and have her clean up the mess. I take away the crayons or markers for a couple of days and then give them back.

My theory is that everything washes, or you can repaint, or bathe the child, or whatever. I don't get terribly bent out of shape over much of anything that the kids do.

Mr PCG would scream at them, send them to their room, tell me it needed cleaned up, and then bring it up everytime he saw them with a crayon.

 

[Rubyfruit]

My theory is that everything washes, or you can repaint, or bathe the child, or whatever. I don't get terribly bent out of shape over much of anything that the kids do.

I'm the same way. The kids coloring on the furniture is a minor blip on my parenting meter.

I don't like when they dump out my shampoo, conditioner, etc. in the shower though.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I'm the same way. The kids coloring on the furniture is a minor blip on my parenting meter.

I don't like when they dump out my shampoo, conditioner, etc. in the shower though.

My kids used my shampoo, conditioner and body wash as bubble bath the other day. I moved all of that stuff to a shelf that I can barely reach. Hopefully that'll cut down on how much goes down the drain.

Still, nothing's permanent, and I don't get terribly bothered by it. I figure they'll outgrow almost all of those annoying habits someday, and the less stress I inflict on myself in the mean time, the better off we all are.

 

[lilminx]

Ok, well, as a teacher, it really bothered me today that he did that. He KNOWS that there is always a bin of scrap paper available for the kids to use whenever there is free time, and there are plenty of crayons that they have access to as well.

Supplies like that are not limited in my classroom, and I never begrudge a child those things. He deliberately did it, right after I praised him for finsihing his work without my help. He constantly does thingslike this in the classroom. He came from a day care center- he had no formal kindergarten, so I understand that there is a period of adjustment for him.

However, this behavior is CONSTANT! I try to figure out why- he appears to get anough attention at home, and we make sure that he gets attention in the classroom. This is the third time this year that he has drawn on something he shouldn't have in my classroom- one time, he did it with markers.

I made sure I stayed calm when I talked to him about this situation, but I felt that he needed some form of consequences. Not only did I make him clean up his own mess, but I told him that since he needed to learn to have more respect for the things in the classroom, he need to wipe down the rest of the tables too. (By the way, he quickly wiped them off with a wet paper towel- it took him about a minute total, and proceeded to sit with his head down).

Parents: was I wrong?

 

[Guest]

Your intervention sounds fine to me.


The others are right, it's all washable.

Sounds like they need Ritalin or Adderall though

 

[Calamity Jane]

I don't think you were wrong Minx. I just don't see it as that big of a deal. With my kids, they know where the scrap paper is for drawing on, but sometimes the wall is just closer, ya know?

You did the right thing. Just don't blow it all out of proportion. School hasn't been in all that long, and everyone needs time to adjust. Stay consistent and don't get too irritated.

Perhaps he needs more to keep him occupied. "Ok, great, you finished that all by yourself! Why don't you help yourself to some paper and crayons and you can color for awhile?"

 

[Saint Peter]

He is exploring his the doodler within. People that doodle are much smarter than non-doodlers and have larger units as well.

Give the little monster some spray paint and a yard full of rail cars. The world is your canvas.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Minxie, you said he is a typical child, correct? Could it be that since you normally deal with special ed kids, your expectations for this child were higher?

I don't think your punishment was wrong. It fit the crime. However, I'm surprised that you were so irritated by it. I'm sure you've encountered much worse behavior in your classroom.

 

[Barbi]

Believe it or not this happened in my household a couple of weeks ago. My 5 yr old daughter said she was drawing map so she could find her homework. After I quit laughing I made her clean it off the table and then took her crayons away for a week.

 

[Barely__There]

Ok, well, as a teacher, it really bothered me today that he did that. He KNOWS that there is always a bin of scrap paper available for the kids to use whenever there is free time, and there are plenty of crayons that they have access to as well.

Supplies like that are not limited in my classroom, and I never begrudge a child those things. He deliberately did it, right after I praised him for finsihing his work without my help. He constantly does thingslike this in the classroom. He came from a day care center- he had no formal kindergarten, so I understand that there is a period of adjustment for him.

However, this behavior is CONSTANT! I try to figure out why- he appears to get anough attention at home, and we make sure that he gets attention in the classroom. This is the third time this year that he has drawn on something he shouldn't have in my classroom- one time, he did it with markers.

I made sure I stayed calm when I talked to him about this situation, but I felt that he needed some form of consequences. Not only did I make him clean up his own mess, but I told him that since he needed to learn to have more respect for the things in the classroom, he need to wipe down the rest of the tables too. (By the way, he quickly wiped them off with a wet paper towel- it took him about a minute total, and proceeded to sit with his head down).

Parents: was I wrong?

I am impressed with your restraint. If this is an ongoing problem, then perhaps he needs to have some alterations in his desk during art time. A large plastic tablecloth, or something similar.

Of course, when my son did that at home, I hung him from his ankles for three days in the hall closet

 

[lilminx]

Well, I wanted to fucking cry today. The mother of this child happened to walk by our classroom and saw her child sitting by himself (that was his choice, not my decision). She stood by the doorway and waved him towards her, out of the room unbeknownst to me (I was in the back of the room playing Alphabet Bingo with the remaining children), and I saw that he was gone. The teacher's aide left, trying to find him, when we discovered that she had taken him out and brought him to the office. She was enraged that he was cleaning tables, even after I explained to her what he had done.

I was told that her son's name was not "Kunte Kinte", and that she had not raised him to be cleaning up other people's messes. Meanwhile, we try to tell the kids that if they see something in the classroom that is in a spot it doesn't belong, to put it in the right spot. In our classroom ,everyone helps out each other, and I feel that what she basically said to me was that all he should look out for is #1. I understand her reasoning to a point- NO ONE should unjustly be cleaning up other people's messes, but I really don't think that the consequences I deal to him were unjust. I felt that they fit the behavior he exhibited.

She was so hostile that I felt two red patches on my face as I tried to keep my calm and talk to her. This woman has had hostility towards the teachers in my classroom from day 1. This isn't my first run-in with her. The second day of school she came to my coordinator because she was pissed that "his teachers had taken away his books that he had brought from home". The truth is, he brought in books from home, and I told him to put them back in his bag so that they didn't get lost. He didn't put them back in his bag- he put them in hi cubby and then forgot them when it was time to go home. He then told his mom that we took them from him.

I just don't know what to do any more. I'm not considered a veteran teacher, but i'm not really a new teacher either. I try to convey to both my students and their parents that I want the best for their kids, and I try to teach the kids a sense of responsibility as well as academics. Parents like the one I mentioned just make me wonder if it's worth it at all. I feel like shit. I know the situation I mentioned doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me- I try so hard with these kids, and I feel like it's all negated in a child when a parent teaches his or her child that it's ok to go against the teacher.

I just scrolled up to re-read my post and realized that I'm ranting. I'm sorry about that, but I'm upset and frustrated, and I really needed to get it out.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Oh Minxie, I'm sorry baby. Come here and let me hug you. What a shitty day. I bet the parents are worse to deal with than the kids sometimes. I just don't get that. I am so grateful for the teachers and aides in my son's classroom and praise them and help out every chance I get.

That woman sounds nuts.

 

[lilminx]

Minxie, you said he is a typical child, correct? Could it be that since you normally deal with special ed kids, your expectations for this child were higher?

I don't think your punishment was wrong. It fit the crime. However, I'm surprised that you were so irritated by it. I'm sure you've encountered much worse behavior in your classroom.

Ruby, I would have expected better behavior from ANY of my students. None of my children, regardless of their disability, have drawn on trables in our classroom. Rules are posted and gone over, and expectations are clear. They are understood by everyone in the class. I have been dealing with special ed and general kids for 5 years- both at the same time, so I'm not more used to one than to the other.

I have encountered much worse behavior, but the other behavior has had reasons (emotional problems, occurrences that day, etc...). I racjed my brain to try to find a reason for his behavior- believe me, I have- and i could come up with nothing more than the fact that he just felt like drawing on the table.

 

[Barely__There]

Minx, don't bust yourself up like this.

My son is ADD and too fuckin smart for his own good and pulls this kind of stunt all the time (blaming teachers etc.)

I am sorry this mother does not see how she is hurting her son by supporting his inappropriate actions. I support my son, but not at the expense of the other students and teacher in his room.
I am more likely to double up on his punishment at home, and he knows it.

Hang in there. Whether you know it or not, some of what you are trying to pass on to him WILL get through.

 

[Guest]

Oh Minxie, I'm sorry baby. Come here and let me hug you. What a shitty day. I bet the parents are worse to deal with than the kids sometimes. I just don't get that. I am so grateful for the teachers and aides in my son's classroom and praise them and help out every chance I get.

That woman sounds nuts.

Yep.

And it sounds like your earlier assumption that things are OK on the home front may be a bit presumptous.

These behavious are communication, and start with parenting. Sounds like mom here needs some lessons. And that this problem will not end here, unfortunately.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I'm with Ruby. Mom sounds psycho. I would never go into my daughter's classroom and wave my child out without consulting hte teacher first. Actually, I can't even get to my daughter's classroom without a pass from the principal's office.

Maybe this kid is getting the wrong kind of attention at home. He's lying to his parents about the books... probably to elicit a specific response, or to cover his ass when he got into trouble for forgetting his books. That's a lot of dancing around for a 6 year old, don't you think?