Parenting our parents

It's scary. Our mothers were once the people most devoted to our care. They endured our bouts of vomiting, our measles and scarlet fever and strep throat and injuries and ear infections, and somehow made us better. To see them laid low - to consider any visit as a possible "last" - is to feel battered by inadequacy, tenderness, remorse, frustration and a terrible love.

Panic flaps and flutters within the cages of our hearts. We are orphans-to-be. Small. Weak. Helpless. Heartsick. Trying to put on a brave face. pretending for their sakes and our own that all hurts can be healed.

He grew up to be the child in everything except his eyes. He insisted on staying on the farm until we could no longer cope with his wife's cancer, our infant daughter, and the exhausting trips between Lisbon and the farm. Bringing him to Lisbon was the beginning of his end as if distance had separated him from the severity of his wife's illness. Sharing the same rooms gave him no escape and he left Zola's world and the inane philosophy he'd used to guide his life under dictatorship. I remember his glistening eyes as I cleaned him in the shower, standing erect, insisting on using the walking stick that hangs still on a solitary peg in our hallway. He became transparent before the end, shedding everything except dignity. Twenty-five years ago, this month; my mother-in-law died four months later.
 
Just returned from a good-sad visit with my mom up in Savannah GA. Always a bit of a shock to see an elderly parent after several months, isn't it? She seems so fragile, like translucent paper folded into a tiny origami mom.
You should win an award of some kind for a similie like that.

Sounds spot-on like my granny, btw.

Except she's like translucent paper folded into a tiny origami granny. Then dipped in titanium.
 
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Many of my people are from Savannah. My son married a hot blond from Savannah. I go there frequently. Laurel Grove and Bonaventure are filled with the Old Timers.

The problem with youngsters is their arrogance and conceit. They act as if they know it all the entire time they wreck their lives and everything else they touch. When they finally wise up they act like what they were all along, incompetent fools who drool on themselves.
 
At least once per visit, my mother points to a picture of me taken just after college and says, "I like your hair better like that."

Oh, god...not you too!

My hair is long....I mean, it's REALLY long. I usually only cut it every two years, and when I do get it cut, I donate it to Locks of Love. I would have long hair anyway - it's always been long.

If I have my hair down when I walk into my mother's house, within ten minutes she'll say something like, "Why don't you do something with all that damn hair? I like it so much better when you've got it pulled back. If you're not going to cut it, at least you could wear it in a ponytail or something." I almost always wear it in a ponytail or a braid, and I suppose that's what she's used to, but damn....

EVERY SINGLE TIME. Ask Abs...she's seen/heard it.
 
You should win an award of some kind for a similie like that.

Sounds spot-on like my granny, btw.

Except she's like translucent paper folded into a tiny origami granny. Then dipped in titanium.

Absolutely.
 
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