Pain without marking/help an inexperienced Domme

[Aurore_Cherie]

Hello!

First question: I'm generally a Domme and my boy's generally a sub, but sometimes I want a bit of pain and he obliges me. Unfortunately, I'm in a bit of a quandry. I've got Ehlers–Danlos syndrome, which (through a lot of joint pain) has given me a very high pain tolerence. However, it's also made me very delicate. Most things bruise me and even little cuts give me scars. I also take a long time to heal. Biting me hurts, but he'd have to draw blood to make it hurt enough.

Is there anything painful enough that wouldn't scar/deeply bruise me that you can think of? Excluding genital torture, please.


Second question: I'm an inexperienced Domme (first relationship, though I've always been drawn to BDSM). Do you have any advice for me? Especially in the area of how to treat my boy. I've tried some mental bondage (stay still while I do this to you, don't talk while I do this, etc.) and giving pain without tools (biting, scratching). Both went over very well. He's pretty sensitive. Do you have any idea for what I could do further/what tools I ought to get?

Thank you very much! I'm really looking forward to exploring this further.

 

[Primalex]

First question: I'm generally a Domme and my boy's generally a sub, but sometimes I want a bit of pain and he obliges me.

*scratches his chin* And then you stop being a Domme?

Is there anything painful enough that wouldn't scar/deeply bruise me that you can think of? Excluding genital torture, please.

Well, electro and chemical pain are always without scars and usually only mild bruises. The latter can be simple like ginger root or capsaicin or exotic like bullet ants.

Second question: I'm an inexperienced Domme (first relationship, though I've always been drawn to BDSM). Do you have any advice for me? Especially in the area of how to treat my boy.

Most guys whine enough that you don't need to worry about that.

 

[Aurore_Cherie]

Yes. I apologise if I used the word Domme in the wrong context. I'm young and new to this. So I suppose we're both switches, really, but heavily skewed switches.

Thanks, I'll look into those (through ants seem rather difficult to get ahold of)!

I don't understand what you're replying to. What should I not worry about?

Thanks for your help!

 

[clearshooter]

Hello!

First question: I'm generally a Domme and my boy's generally a sub, but sometimes I want a bit of pain and he obliges me. Unfortunately, I'm in a bit of a quandry. I've got Ehlers–Danlos syndrome, which (through a lot of joint pain) has given me a very high pain tolerence. However, it's also made me very delicate. Most things bruise me and even little cuts give me scars. I also take a long time to heal. Biting me hurts, but he'd have to draw blood to make it hurt enough.

Is there anything painful enough that wouldn't scar/deeply bruise me that you can think of? Excluding genital torture, please.


Second question: I'm an inexperienced Domme (first relationship, though I've always been drawn to BDSM). Do you have any advice for me? Especially in the area of how to treat my boy. I've tried some mental bondage (stay still while I do this to you, don't talk while I do this, etc.) and giving pain without tools (biting, scratching). Both went over very well. He's pretty sensitive. Do you have any idea for what I could do further/what tools I ought to get?

Thank you very much! I'm really looking forward to exploring this further.

clamps, orgasm denial

for him; nipple pinching, twisting, squeezing his testicles, orgasm denial, clamps

 

[switchbitch]

I suggest you use electro-play, you can achieve quite intense pain without leaving marks.

 

[clearshooter]

Wax might be another possibility as would be needle play

 

[Pandorica]

You might find maintaining gorean style slave poses fun, or perhaps bondage that's uncomfortable, prolonged or in a taxing position. Tight breast bondage or something with knots tied in sensitive places.

 

[Aurore_Cherie]

Thank you all very much! I'll have to give those a shot. I really appreciate it.

 

[DVS]

Yes, I agree about electroplay. A violet wand can be very interesting and they rarely leave any marks...unless you misuse them. TENS can leave marks, but you have to be pretty nasty with them to do so.

Also, figging can be interesting, and it won't leave any marks. If you're not familiar with it, Google it. Ginger can be used in different ways to get someone's attention.

I've also found that the tubes that sometimes come on hangers from a cleaners will not leave marks. They are kind of like a cane, but because they are tubes, they don't injure the skin like a solid cane will, and so they don't leave the same marks. Of course, I'd guess you could get marks from them, if you really tried. But if you are looking for some stinging pain, you might try those.

 

[Licia]

Pain for you: pinching/twisting of the nipples, hair pulling, ride him for however long it takes to achieve "the last climax". Have him grow some face scruff for downtown duty. Take him to the showers: throw a leg around his shoulder, tilt the pelvis upward, hold onto the shower curtain rod for stability (your free hand in his hair), and have him bring you to oral climax. The muscle strain the next day can be delicious.

Pain for him: pull his body hair; chest, stomach, leg, pubic area, armpit. Bite his collar bone, hip bone (joints), squeeze/twist his earlobes, a light palm strike to the soloplexus (poking firm and quick works also), pinch the tender flesh underneath the upper arm (to the side of the armpit)...

 

[CandiCame]

I know what you mean- I'm so anemic that you can touch me sometimes and leave bruises. I just fucking deal with the marks. I've also gotten very skilled in the way of make-up, in case I have to go somewhere where it's not cool to look like you just got in a fight.

I might be able to pull that off a little better because I'm a guy in a redneck clusterfuck of a town- so people tend to assume I got in a fight rather then had submissive sex...

Either way, I don't worry about it, because it would just get annoying.

 

[Aurore_Cherie]

DVS- Thanks! I'll certainly consider electroplay. I've not tried it yet, and it sounds intriguing. I've heard of figging. I've never heard of cleaner tubes, though . . . that sounds nice and simple enough. I'll check it out!

Licia- Those are excellent suggestions. I'll have to try 'em.

Candi- Ugh, that's unfortunate. At least, as you said, you're a man. People probably figure you've been playing sports or something. Sadly, people tend to assume the worst with a female. Best of luck with your condition. I hope there's something you can do about it.