Oy do I need love life advice

[Thephantomprincess]

Dear Literoitca Members,
I am having such a hectic love life and could really use some advice. I need ot figure out what to do about this wonderful guy Mike, whom I have been more off than on with for distance reasons. He's in seattle for the next year, but i really like him and vica versa. We talk all the time still. We were together for 5 months recently, but had a huge misunderstanding that ened the whole thing. This was the second time we tried. The first was high school and puppy love. The problem is that we still have feelings for eachother. I think i love him.......

Meanwhile, There is this guy Adam I met through online/IRL friends who is a great guy. Mike know all about him and is cool with us going out. this guy Adam is a pretty weird dude. He sent me Walt Whitman's Leaves Of Grass without and specific poems to read...he is a bit obsessed with comic books, and has this friend Jodi who has a major crush on him. He's called me every night here at school long distance (he lives closer to me at home)and we have a date the day after i come home.

Then, there is Jordan, who I've had a romp when I'm home thing with ever since high school. He wants to get serious. He's great as well, but appeals more to my evil side, if you get my drift.

So, what's my problem you ask? You're probably thinking I should be so lucky to have all this going on in my life. Making these choices without hurting anyone is so difficult. Oppinions are welcome. I could use as many views as possible on this. Thank you in advance!

Princess

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

At the dating sowing wild oats stage it's hard to give advice. If you're not ready in your life for marriage, recognize that whoever you're with the relationship will, at some point, probably, end. So you'd might as well enjoy yourself. Go with the person who makes you like yourself the most -- the one you can laugh the easiest with, who inspires you, who makes you the better person.

 

[Nexxus]

Are these guys pressuring you for a decision right now? Its never good to make a rash judgement, and I agree with DCL, whoever has your best interests at heart is the keeper. Fun is fun for awhile, but then it wears off and you have to be comfortable with the everyday life thing. If you're not ready or still need time to think, take it. Anybody worth being with will give you all the time you want and won't pressure you to choose. And in the grand complexity that is life, who knows, Hon. Maybe it isn't any of these that you should be with and the best one is still out there!

Nex

 

[Dreamer1]

Princess, I hate to sound like a broken record but I also agree with DCL. Pick the person who makes you laugh and like yourself the most when you are together. Hopefully, that person is someone you can have naughty feelings about as well but go with the prior criteria first and let it grow at your own pace. I did that very young and I was very lucky. I met my wife and partner in life when we were teens and we have been together for 17 years and still going strong. BTW, we dated for 8 years prior to sealing the deal(marriage not sex)! Take your time and enjoy the ride...so to speak!


Ps You sound like a caring person, so just be kind and try not to break too many hearts along the way.

 

[April]

Okay, here's my 2 cents. Dump Adam the weird guy. Romp away with Jordan, and give Mike and yourself some time to cool off. Then try working things out with Mike. Just my opinion, though.

 

[Cyra_3]

I have to agree with April here, Adam sounds a bit strange, poems when you've only just met? he sounds a little like one of my ex boyfriends.

Jordan sounds great you'd probably end up having a great time with him and Mike seems as though he cares about you enough to let you keep seeing these others but maybe needs time to explore things as you are doing.

If you love each other I think you'll be together again god knows I've had some terrible rows with mine but we kiss and make up.

Ignore me if you like I'm just rambling.

 

[Savage Kitten]

*big cheesy grin*

i've got the easiest, simplest, fastest soulution for ya girlie....

keep the 1 you like the LEAST (life is more interestin with a challenge in it)

and ummmm send me the other 2!!! hehehe (I could use a good love life prob about now)

 

[Thephantomprincess]

Thank you

I like all the options so far. DCL, thank you for being kind! I didn't want to get bashed! Yeah, this Adam guy is getting weirder.....I feel like i owe him a date just to give him a fair chance. Jordan is the person who the Erotic Encounter stories should be written for. Mike, wow I love that damn tongue. 'nuff said. So, this summer will be playtime, and we'll see after that. Mike is too cool about everything and he makes me laugh..it just gets tough sometimes to have an interest in all these people's well beings. ACK!

 

[Blues]

I have to agree with April also. Dump Adam, way too wierd. Enjoy your romps for now and see what happens with Mike.

 

[Skitten]

If you are really interested in settling down and don't want to play the field. My suggestion to you would be to go with the one you have the most in common with and someone who is attentive to your feelings as well as you. Don't settle just because you are confused try be observant towards each one and you will know which one makes you feel comfortable with remember if you settle down you will be with this person for a long time. You need to have something in common as well as being able to communicate openly with that one person.

 

[Weird Harold]

Dump Adam, way too wierd.

And just what may I ask is wrong with being wierd?

It sounds as if Adam is more of a romantic than the others. Marking specific poems to read that express his feelings more eloquently than he can, sounds more like a shy romantic with a serious crush, than a dangerous maniac.

Adam is probably not the one to pick more because of Jodi who has a serious crush on him than because he is obsessed with comic books and sends poetry books to gilrs he likes. Getting into a 'love triangle' looks like a possiblity there.

 

[Blues]

And just what may I ask is wrong with being wierd?


[/B]

Nothing wrong with being wierd, but I find the daily phone calls a bit odd. Im not saying he's an axe murderer, just someone who sounds like he can be obsesive.

 

[Kamiyue2c]

I agree most of all with DCL. Being comfortable with the person is very important. I had my share of screwy relationships in the past. I got heavily involved with a girl just as I was moving to Japan and that freaked her out.

In Japan, I kinda pursued one girl at a company I worked for but then went on a friendly date with another. Guess what, I've been married for ten years now to the gal from the friendly date. A very unique situation because we both knew we were comfortable with each other almost immediately. Six months after meeting, we got married and I couldn't be happier. Comfort is the best thing.

e2c

 

[Thephantomprincess]

It sounds as if Adam is more of a romantic than the others. Marking specific poems to read that express his feelings more eloquently than he can,

Ok, now that is the Problem, he didn't mark any poems for me to read. Now, he's decided to make me tapes of music to listen to on my 6 hour drive home from school next week. He and I have apposing music tastes. This should be interesting. And a bit scary.

Next question: Should I go out with Adam at least once to give him a fair chance??!?

 

[MADDOG]

Princess, my suggestion would be to go with Mike. You say you think you love him. Choosing either of the other two will just leave you wishing you were with the one you love.

I wouldn't Date Adam. If he get's attached, it's going to be really hard to tell him you're not interested. Better to tell him now than let him develop feelings and think that he's in with a chance.

As for Jordan, if he wants to get serious, that could mean he's falling for you. Having a bit of fun with him may be good for a while, but it will blur the lines of friendship, and if he falls for you, it's going to be hard to break it off with him. He could be an option if you think there could be more there though, so don't rule him out.

I just think that love is the most imoportant thing. If Jordan's appeal is that he touches your evil side, then I'm sure you could find that in Mike as well, plus have the love. The distance is a problem though. That's about the only thing I can see in your way, but then I haven't exactly got all the details.

Good luck.

MADDOG

 

[Weird Harold]

Ok, now that is the Problem, he didn't mark any poems for me to read.

Your original post contains a typo that made me think he did.

Now, he's decided to make me tapes of music to listen to on my 6 hour drive home from school next week. He and I have apposing music tastes. This should be interesting. And a bit scary.

If His tactics are 'scary', and you don't even have tastes in music in common, then he's probably not for you.

He still sounds like a 'nerd' that's trying to hard to impress. (Actually, a bit like I was at that age.)

Coffee, donuts and conversation sounds like a good idea to me. Let him know he's trying too hard. Maybe he's worth training, and maybe he just needs to be pointed in Jodi's direction as someone who is more receptive to his style of romance.

 

[Nexxus]

I think you're wasting your time with Adam. Anything that starts out "I think I owe him...." is a problem to begin with. I don't see any usuefulness coming from a date with him. Concentrate on the other two. Or better yet, come meet me and forget all of them, I have a tongue too dammit!!!!

 

[Siren]

 

[Thephantomprincess]

WHOOHOOO

Or better yet, come meet me and forget all of them, I have a tongue too dammit!!!!

Nex- that's really funny, b/c I live less than an hour from you! College Point, actually. We'll have to see about taking you up on that.

As for not choosing - I just want to narrow down my options and not play with anyone's emotions, including mine...

Man, I'm hungry..I found a place I can order pizza online, ahh the luxury of college and Ethernet.

 

[Nexxus]

OOOOhhhh. TPP, this is bad. But a good kinda bad. I can be in College Point in say about....
We should talk honey. Now that i know you're so close I feel the need to set your mind straight. I think your overthinking your situation. Lets talk honey. E-mail me at "nexusmay5@hotmail.com" and I'll toss you a number to call. i would like to chat!
(is this totally unbulletin board correct? Someone tell me the rules again)

Nex

 

[MADDOG]

No Nexus, this is totally fine. Accepting an offer is not soliciting. It is a little wierd though,... seeing as how you're not from Calgray! But go for tit! I mean it! (Have fun you two!)

MADDOG

 

[Thephantomprincess]

OOOOhhhh. TPP, this is bad. But a good kinda bad. I can be in College Point in say about....Lets talk honey. E-mail me at "nexusmay5@hotmail.com" and I'll toss you a number to call. i would like to chat!

Nex- I know how quickly you can be in College Point, but I won't be there untill next weekend. I'm still in school. I don't quite know about phone calls....email would be fine...My addy is up on here........

All - I'm going ot go out with Adam once, close to my house for Japanese. If I don't have fun, I can go home. He's put a ton of effort in, and I would hate to shut someone out who "cares" for me that much.

Mike and I are getting closer every day. I think we are slowly ironing out the kinks through massive IM conversations. This is a good thing!

 

[Thephantomprincess]

An Update

Ok, I should of listened to all of you who told me not to go out with Adam at all. I really should of listened. Sorry hArold, the nice, kinda nervous guy gig was just the tip of the iceberg here. Dinner and dessert were great. I just have never met someone so anxious to impress me that they put on a front. ugh! He was forcing hmself to have manners fo me. It was painfully obvious. Adam was all over me almost the whole night. The dude had just met me. Ugh! I gave him a chaste peck on the cheek goodnight when he went for a tongue twister. Andd that was after he asked me for a date on when I could see him again. Kinda creepy. Next thing I know I get an instant message from him this morning on how he stayed up all night worrying about how I felt about him. A little sweet, yes.But, IMHO that veers on the pathetic side. He demanded to know what i thought of him, and if I wanted to have a relationship with him. Dude, it's one date. This is pretty damn creepy. I basically told him to leave me alone. No more internet dating for me! I'll still to meeting people IRL first, even if they do live far away. Off to Seattle I go.
I really miss Mike.

 

[April]

Told you! LOL

 

[dancinvixen]

ok, just putting in my two cents, (and ya'll can tell me to just shut up) but I would listen to nobody but yourself. My advice (something that worked well with a friend of mine) is to give yourself like a week or more, think about each situation seprately, and see how your heart and mind react.