out of the mouths of babes

[cloudy]

we've all read those witty remarks from the younger set that have been published wherever, but I know that many of us have munchkins running around, and they say some funny shit. Please share.

The latest from my youngest:

A couple of days ago two little boys that live directly behind us (there's a gate in the fence separating our yard and theirs) were over to play. Spidey is 6, for those who don't know, and the other two are 5 and 7.

I don't know why, but for some reason their habit has been to ask me for something to eat every single day. I know they get fed, but our house is the cafe' of choice, it seems.

They wanted me to cook sausage for them this last time, and I put my foot down. I'm not cooking for these two kids when they can walk about 20 yards to their own house (they're not starving, I promise). I told them they were welcome to some chips, some cookies, some koolaid, whatever, but no, I was not going to make them a sandwich, and I definitely wasn't going to cook for them.

Spidey is very hospitable. He looks around at what's available, and hollers out the back door, "Y'all want some chips?"

Apparently the answer was no.

"Y'all want some cookies?"

Again, they must have answered no.

He spies the bag of catfood on the floor by the back door. "Y'all want some catfood?"

*******

He fell yesterday at school and broke his collarbone. They gave me some liquid lortab for him and I'd gotten some into him, and he'd begun to get sleepy. He was laying on the couch, about half in my lap, and I was rubbing his belly, trying to get him to go to sleep.

spidey: why do you hate the cat?
me: I don't hate the cat, baby, I just don't like animals in the house. It leaves hair all over the place, and it's just a mess.

thoughtful silence for a moment, and I thought he was asleep, but then:

spidey: we could always get a rhino. They don't have fur.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

spidey: we could always get a rhino. They don't have fur.

That's one of the best answers I have ever heard for anything

 

[glynndah]

And it would keep the cat away.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

http://www.africanroutes.co.za/Gorilla%20pics/BABY_RHINO.gif

For Spidey....a baby rhino.....like a starter kit.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

spidey: we could always get a rhino. They don't have fur.

I so want that boy to be a general in my army when I take over the world.

 

[Guest]

I saw a wildlife tv show back in the 70's probably about a middle aged woman in Africa who adopted a baby rhino born without a horn, who'd been abandoned by his parents. Cute stuff.

A few years ago, I was channel surfing and saw the last ten seconds of another wildlife show, the closing credits. The video was of an old, white haired woman walking down a dirt road and behind her a hornless giant adult rhino following her like a docile dog. Had to be the same two.

 

[Guest]

Oh, poor Spidey!



Love and careful snugs to him, cloudy.

(And my cats would kick rhino butt.)

 

[rgraham666]

Oh, poor Spidey!



Love and careful snugs to him, cloudy.

(And my cats would kick rhino butt.)

Indeed.

They'd sleep where the poor rhino was guaranteed to trip over them in the dark.

 

[Guest]

Indeed.

They'd sleep where the poor rhino was guaranteed to trip over them in the dark.

Not Jonesey, my attack cat.