Orgasms -- OMG another "thread" by shay..

[His_pita]

Poor vibes. So maligned. Mine haven't ruined partner sex yet, but they sure are fun for thinking of special someones not present sometimes.

I can see how they might "spoil" a person, though.

Ohhhhh I do agree! I haven't given up my vibes (Heaven forbid!) I just don't "need" them to get off. My favorite is the super-duper Hitachi.

 

[SheDevilShay]

Ohhhhh I do agree! I haven't given up my vibes (Heaven forbid!) I just don't "need" them to get off. My favorite is the super-duper Hitachi.

hahahaha... I understand that totally... but I can't handle the hitachi, but unless I hve like layers of protection from the vibration... its "to much" sensation.

 

[Netzach]

I orgasm so intenstly I pulled a stomache msucle.. i do hundreds of kegals a day naturally and have since I was a kid.. I also did them routinely during pregnancy and after.. blood flow isn't an issue...

I am OVER sensitive... like I can't handle direct clit contact because its to intense...

I had a girlfriend like that. Poor thing, I like it so I attacked her clit till she told me!

 

[SheDevilShay]

I had a girlfriend like that. Poor thing, I like it so I attacked her clit till she told me!

MY husband does the same goddamn thing and its fucking torture...

 

[catalina_francisco]

Poor vibes. So maligned. Mine haven't ruined partner sex yet, but they sure are fun for thinking of special someones not present sometimes.

I can see how they might "spoil" a person, though.

LOL, nah I just figured I never needed them before, and never had a problem before I used them as a lazy substitute, so why try to keep them when I really enjoyed the results of doing it myself or with someone more than by mechanical means. Strange as it might seem, I used to actually have date nights with myself during my self appointed celibacy and single days (and I was the best damn date I ever, ever had!! )....planned it ahead, had a nice dinner, treated myself to a soak in a bubble bath or such, pampered myself with body lotions, teased myself with how much fun I planned to have later, made sure I had all I needed to set the mood (music, cold drink, sometimes a little chocolate), then indulged myself with an evening of pleasure and tried to remember at the end of the night to not just roll over and go to sleep...sometimes I was so exhausted I failed on the last point, but my sweet twin self was usually very forgiving.

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

(sorry for the sarcasm I am sure ill get smacked for it later haha)

Anyways, so, I cannot get off with out a vibrator... I can ejaculate, I can have somewhat of an inside orgasm (i.e. the muscle walls spasmin) and it feels GREAT... but with out a clitoral orgasm, eventually, especially if I am turned on for.. you know like 4 days straight.. I start getting the female version of blue balls and I get so sensitive down there, I can't even be touched...

Now, I KNOW my body is sensitive... why the fuck can I NOT have a fucking clit orgasm with out a vibrator... my Dom can sue his fingers or his tongue,, and it will keep bringing me to the edge like 50000 times.. and I just can't cum... I can't make myself cumw ith my fingers either.. I can rub myself untill I rub the skin off... and I just can't cum... The vibrator... well.. that always gets me off.. and fairly quickly too as long as I have inside penetration...

I don't understand the whole process of "retraining" my body to cum with out it... because I can have sex for hours and not cum and Im just fine I don't really care... but eventually my body just... goes hyper sensitive because it needs to "cum"... I guess.. I don't really know how to describe it...

But does anyone have any suggestions on this? because i've literally read.. hundreds of sex books on female anatomy.. and they all say the same thing... "don't use toys, retrain your body"... and... well I can not use toys, that not aproblem.,.... but is it possible to just not be able to cum with out a vibrator?

First you say you can't get off without a vibrator. I have had that problem and I found out how to beat it.

Then you say you can't handle much clit stim. That's where I tend to use my vibe so now I'm confused.

I can tell you how to beat the first problem which isn't as big a problem once you know you can beat IMO, but if it's not clit stim then maybe I don't know what you mean?

Still, what I did should work. I'm pretty sure it would.

 

[A Desert Rose]

First you say you can't get off without a vibrator. I have had that problem and I found out how to beat it.

Then you say you can't handle much clit stim. That's where I tend to use my vibe so now I'm confused.

I can tell you how to beat the first problem which isn't as big a problem once you know you can beat IMO, but if it's not clit stim then maybe I don't know what you mean?

Still, what I did should work. I'm pretty sure it would.

NOW you are confused? NOW??? My head could've conceivably exploded a while ago...

Sigh...

But on topic:
Okay, so what did you do that worked? Did I miss something somewhere?

 

[subkitty72]

Hyperbole. Maybe you've heard of it. Perhaps you'd like to soak your alleged cock in some anbesol, pay particular attention to the urethral opening. It's got to be great for you.

And I maintain that responding to a psychological/neurological issue with analgesic is moronic. Dulling the sensation thinking you're going to have a "hot in cold water" kind of reaction when you reintroduce it is reducing orgasm to sticking your hand in an ice tray.

There's a lot going on. Most of which you clearly can't imagine.

ROFLMAO

Jesus Christ you're smart.

How did I miss this earlier?

*Note to self: Do NOT use the Anbesol for the other use*

 

[Kierae]

I can't use vibes - despise them since they overstim me and just make me agitated. I have clit orgasms (and once I do, no touching!!), vaginal orgasms from penetration, anal orgasms and penile orgasms (ahhh the joys of mental stim and strapons). I found with the clit, I couldn't come via vibes (hence my "no battery" rule) but could come via the Netzach way of indirect stim (much <3) or if I stimmed/rubbed (nobody does it better) or having it sucked (hey welcome to sucking my "dick" =) ). Personally I think vibes desensitize you - lose it and give it time.


~kierae

 

[alexanna]

Current Vibe Addict

I get vibe addiction. Its part of my prozac cycle. Get depressed, take prozac, pretty soon I need a vibe to cum till after a few weeks of little green pills can't cum at all. Get off prozac and if I'm lucky 3 to 4 weeks later I can cum with a vibe again but no other way.

Only way to get off the vibe for me is to go without for several weeks to a couple of months and just not think about it. Its not fun and when I'm ready to start trying for them again (I don't even bother for at least a few weeks) it always takes some mental willpower to get the good O's back but eventually they always return.

Currently hooked on vibe...gonna quit any day now

 

[SweetErika]

I can, and do, come without a vibe, but I honestly prefer the longer, more intense orgasms my favorite vibes produce, so there's no reason for me to stop using them. Why would I opt for less fulfilling orgasms when I can have really fantastic ones with my vibe?

For anyone who has issues with coming with penetration, I'd suggest experimenting a lot more because it may just be that you need a very specific type of stimulation in that area. If I get too much g-spot stimulation, or something is pressing against the front wall very hard, the fantastic orgasm that's building will often be aborted/turn into a pitifully small one (much like when stimulation stops just before a guy's about to come, but he does anyway). When combining clit stimulation and penetration, I just happen to need a very gentle action from the penetrating object. This took a long time to figure out, but it's been an important piece of the puzzle.

This isn't directed at anyone in particular or mean to offend at all, but I think this idea that there are right and wrong, or better and worse, ways to orgasm is pretty ridiculous. Does it really matter if someone gets there best with a toy? Is it possible that most of these notions of vibes desensitizing, spoiling and overall being a less right/valid tool for achieving orgasm are coming from our partners and society in general, rather than our own beliefs?

I guess I just wonder why there so often seems to be an air of shame or inadequacy when we say we've only been able to come certain ways; shouldn't we be proud of exploring and knowing what gives us pleasure, instead of assuming what we've learned so far isn't good enough?

 

[Netzach]

MY husband does the same goddamn thing and its fucking torture...

Is this sadistic fun, or is he trying to get you off and he doesn't know this is not it?

 

[FurryFury]

<snip>Currently hooked on vibe...gonna quit any day now

*chuckles*

I'm not going to quit. I have something that works. It's something my husband is cool with too. I am not quitting but I could. I just don't see why I'd want to.

For a while I was worried about it. When I was able to figure out how to come again without it, I relaxed into enjoying what works and works well.

 

[FurryFury]

NOW you are confused? NOW??? My head could've conceivably exploded a while ago...

Sigh...

But on topic:
Okay, so what did you do that worked? Did I miss something somewhere?

At the time, I was with my first online Dom aka my BDSM guide. I mentioned my worry about this issue.

He put me on a regimen of masturbating at least twice a day for no more than 15 minutes by hand only. I could come if I did but only by hand.

With my husband, anything my husband did, including vibe was fine but by myself it was hands only.

I thought it would never work. There were days I despaired. There was a time that he said, I would get it by X day. He was right. He seemed to know me so well.

Once I could come by hand. I felt much better about the situation. I think it took about ten days.

 

[Etoile]

This may win a prize for the worst sex advice.


Yeah, if your girl parts are broken throw a little clorox on them and see a doctor while at it.

Etoile? Paging Etoile...

*cackles insanely* I love you, Netzach!

Anytime somebody mentions orgasm issues, I immediately think of medications. A great number of them have effects on one's ability to achieve orgasm; anti-depressants are especially notorious for this.

Shay, I know what you mean about being too sensitive. I am the same sometimes. Conditions have to be very, very specific for things to work for me. And sometimes it's going great and then something happens and I miss the chance and can't get it back, like you described.

I think a lot of people feel overly frustrated by their orgasms. After many years I have learned to not get so upset, but it's not easy. To me, not being able to orgasm a certain way is no big deal. If you worry about it, it'll eat you up. Just take the orgasms where you can get them, enjoy them when they happen, and if they don't just remember there is always another day.

 

[Netzach]

*cackles insanely* I love you, Netzach!

I love you so much I know how to entertain ya.