Orgasm Dialogue...

[Phoenix646]

Need some suggestions that aren't annoying or overboard...

 

[honnie]

Like what?

 

[Phoenix646]

anything...

 

[BigTexan]

Leena threw her head back. "God, yes, mmm, that feels so good." Her eyes rolled and she whipped her head back and forth as the pleasure inside built.

"Come on baby, cum for me. God I love the way you look when you cum. You are so sexy, so beautiful. Yes, baby, cum for me." Greg maintained his rythm. His cock sliding in and out of her slick tunnel as he watched her face. Right then, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her face glowed with urgency and need as he fucked her.

"God, mmm, fuck! Gah, oh, oh, oh!" She shrieked and her hands grabbed his hips, pulling him into her roughly. "Fuck me, damn it, fuck me."

He did, forcing his tempo faster and harder. He pounded into her with wild eyed abandon, grunting with each stroke.

"Yes, yes, yes." Her voice rose in pitch and volume as her orgasm took her body. No longer capable of words she hissed at him, her mouth cat like and hungry. Her orgasm reached its zenith like an exploding rocket, and she fell hard back onto the soft bed.

Her soft exhale signaled the end of her orgasm and she opened her eyes and looked at him. She loved that man. Loved the way he always made sure she was satisfied. Loved the way he watched her. Loved the way he smiled. "Now it's your turn, lover."

Don't know if this is what you were looking for, but ...

BigTexan

 

[Phoenix646]

well...im actually looking for something for a girl masturbating...and no offense but i find that dialogue you gave 'unrealistic.'

 

[BigTexan]

and no offense but i find that dialogue you gave 'unrealistic.'

Okay, I'm up for some good constructive critisism. What did you find unrealistic about the dialog? I'd love to hear so that I don't make the same mistakes in my stories.

BigTexan

 

[Phoenix646]

for one thing, this may just my personal opinion. I could be wrong, afterall, i've only completed one story myself, which doesn't have a whole lot of dialogue.

"God, yes, mmm, that feels so good."

(that's fine)

"Come on baby, cum for me. God I love the way you look when you cum. You are so sexy, so beautiful. Yes, baby, cum for me."

(I assume that this is the guy talking? Well I think by the time he said all this, the girl would have came and been fast asleep. Maybe have the guy think that statement if you wanna keep it)

"God, mmm, fuck! Gah, oh, oh, oh!

(Got nothing wrong with that)

"Fuck me, damn it, fuck me."

(Personally I think this is the worst part. I just never see someone, besides a porn star, saying this.)


If you have any personal expierences, try and intergrate them in your story, it makes it more realistic.

 

[BigTexan]

Phoenix646,

Points well taken. Thanks.

But as to the "Fuck me" thing, my wife does say that, almost everytime we have sex. If I'm going too slow for her she gets impatient with me and that is really what she says.

I will admit, she is about the limit to my experience with women. One other when I was in college, and she was not nearly as vocal as my wife is. I wonder if I could talk my wife into allowing me to do some research Probably not.

I'll just have to remember that it certainly doesn't work for all women, maybe not even for the majority of women then. Hmm, thanks for the food for thought.

BigTexan

 

[BigTexan]

Back to your original request.

Is the woman mastrabating alone? If so who is she talking to? If not, who is she talking to?

I would think there wouldn't be a whole lot of dialog if she was alone. Most of the people I know, don't really talk to themselves a whole lot. Now, if that is part of her personality, then go for it, just make it her own voice and have her talk to her fantasy lover.

If she is with someone, then have her talk to him/her, in her voice.

Either way, I think you can do it. You're obviously a good writer and can "feel" good dialog when you read it. My only advice at this point is to imagine the character and write what the character would really say. After all everyone is different.

Just refrain from the NEOM, and, as you pointed out to me , getting too wordy. I think you'll do fine.

BigTexan

 

[Phoenix646]

the girl is alone, and she really isn't talking to herself. Shes just moaning and what not from the such an intense orgasm, and part of what she moans out is the name of the person shes fanatsizing about.

And what is NEOM?

 

[BigTexan]

And what is NEOM?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yesssssssssssssss Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



That is a NEOM (Never ending orgasmic moan) Coined, I think, by KillerMuffin here at Lit.

And I think you have just answered your own question about her dialog.

"Mmm, yes, oh, mmm. Yes Ricardo, oh, yes!" She moaned and writhed about on the soft silk sheets, her hands following those of her fantasy lover as she imagined him exploring her body.


BigTexan

 

[English Lady]

BigTexan..I find the dialogue you posted to be very realistic, sounds like the kind of stuff my husband and I moan and groan during the throes of passion. I think we're pretty vocal though!*l*

 

[BigTexan]

Thanks, English Lady, I appreciate you saying so.

BigTexan

 

[PaulX35]

well...im actually looking for something for a girl masturbating...and no offense but i find that dialogue you gave 'unrealistic.'

Is she alone masturbating? Was wondering that because you didn't want it to be offensive or annoying. If she'd be alone would she care what she was saying to herself? Technically, if she'd be alone, it wouldn't be a dialogue either, so I suspect you have someone watch her masturbating?

Paul

 

[kristydoll]

well...im actually looking for something for a girl masturbating...and no offense but i find that dialogue you gave 'unrealistic.'

My own opinion - I found nothing unrealistic with Big Texan's offering. What I actually find more "unrealistic" is dialogue with solo masturbation (even talking to oneself).

kristy

 

[Pookie]

well...im actually looking for something for a girl masturbating...and no offense but i find that dialogue you gave 'unrealistic.'

Kristydoll is right. I find what BigTexan posted is very realistic. Also, I have never carried on a conversation with myself when masturbating alone. Normally I am fantasizing about something or reading something ... but I would not believe a story with a chick talking to herself while masturbating alone. I could see it if someone was with her in the same room either observing or participating in some way.

BigTexan: "Fuck me, damn it, fuck me." I thought I originated that!

 

[Octavian]

Talking to herself whilst masturbating.

Maybe she's schizophrenic!


______________________________________________
A gentleman will always raise his hat before striking a lady.

 

[Pookie]

Re: Talking to herself whilst masturbating.

Maybe she's schizophrenic!

Multiple personalities maybe? What category would that fit in? Technically speaking, is she masturbating if multiple personalities are involved? It could be one personality molesting another ... *shrugs*

 

[Phoenix646]

like I said I personally find it unrealistic, but thats just me...so everybody calm down.


Ok and the girl in my story isn't talking to herself. Before shes reaches an orgasm, she is thinking to herself but not talking out loud. When she finally does cum, she obivously moans out, and in between the moans she calls out the name of the person she is thinking about. So she really isn't talking to herself...

So do you people think thats unrealistic?

 

[Octavian]

Phoenix

I hope you don't think I was mocking you---to be honest I haven't even read your story.

I just couldn't resist the joke.

 

[Phoenix646]

actually my story isn't even finished. Only been working on the fricking thing for over four months

and don't worry, i didn't take your comment seriously, i was trying to explain it to the other people.

 

[BigTexan]

So do you people think thats unrealistic?

Phoenix, I don't think that is unrealistic at all, as long as it is what THAT character would do.

In my opinion, characters are people, each one different, each one unique. The only way to make them realistic is to write them as individual, unique people. Write what the person would do and you can't go wrong.

Stephen King, in his book "On Writing" calls it telling the truth. As long as it is what the character would do, then, according to him, it is the truth, and his one overriding admonishment during his book was to "write the truth".

And don't let other people talk you into doing it any differently. Trust yourself. Write the story. I'm looking forward to reading it

BigTexan

 

[Phoenix646]

well in the mean time, you can always read my first story. The story I'm writing now is a continuation of it, so you can always brush up on whats going on...


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=50441

 

[Pookie]

Phoenix, the basic thing I can recommend to you is to stay "true" to your character. I tend to be rather quiet when I masturbate, I can't recall specifically anything I have said when I masturbate alone, which is probably 95 percent of the time. I probably have said some things very softly to myself at various times, but I couldn't tell you anything specific. I know I moan softly as I have an orgasm when masturbating alone. But that is me, someone else might scream out the whole time. Just make whatever you do fit the personality of the character you are defining.

Good luck with the story. I know it feels like a relative after spending so much time with it. Keep at it and I am sure you will work out the dialogue.

My initial post was assuming there was a dialogue going on while she was masturbating, based on the title of the thread. That's why I said what I did.

I hope you didn't take my joking the wrong way. Octavian is a friend of mine and I couldn't resist responding to what he said.

 

[kristydoll]

i was trying to explain it to the other people.

I think I may be one of these "other" people. I did understand what you were saying, unfortunately, my opinion still stands.

kristy