Oral Sex & Submissiveness

[TeachMeSir]

So, this was addressed in another post & we thought it should have it's own.

Receiving oral sex for me can be either a submissive act, or one of equality for me.

Let me explain. In a mutual act of pleasure I know that he is doing it because he is willing to for me. It may be that he likes my taste or smell, my reaction or just pleasuring me. But he does it also because he knows I like it.

However, imagine this. I am ordered to strip seductively for him, then walked over to a full length mirror naked, his hands holding my wrists behind my back & my breasts pushed out. With his other hand he reaches down and feels how wet I am before tracing his fingers around my lips & then teasing me when he sees my tongue flick out hoping to catch a taste. Removing his hand back to between my legs he starts to rub me and my knees give way as I push my hips harder into his hand. He whispers in my ear that he owns me completely and that he controls everything, including my orgasm. Then my hands are tied behind my back & I am laid on the bed, my bound wrists under my hips, lifing myself and presenting myself to him. I am ashamed of how available I am to him, can't believe the way my legs seem to have opened wide of their own accord as he steps back & just looks over his pet as I am unable to stop the slow gentle thrusting of my hips as I try & entice him to use me. He then pulls me to the edge of the bed, my heels just perched on the side of the mattress, my hips scooted down as close as they can be, my knees in the air before he pust on hand on the inside of each & pushes them apart. Then he slides one finger into me, hooking it to rub me and looking down into my eyes when he reminds me that he controls my orgasm and I will not come without his permission. I can not ask to come. I must wait till it is granted. Slowly lowering his head to between my legs he traces his tongue along the inside of my thigh, his thumb gently rubbing my clit before his tongue finally replaces it. Then the dance of denial. He brings me to the brink more times that I can count till I can't help but beg to come,which I know will get me trouble. He removes his mouth from me & with his thumb back on my clit, knowing that I would prefer to come on his tongue, grants me the permission as he watches my face, my head thrown back & my neck exposed, my body is quivering. He knows that I am enjoying it and I can ride this orgasmic wave for a while, but gentely removes his hand before I have finished and watches the deapsir on my face, listening to the moan of denail. Waiting till he knows my body is no longer immediately orgasmic. Then he enters me, pulling my hips closer to the egde of the bed, using me for his pleasure. I am definately his submissive.

 

[Aleolus]

....Wooh, that story was hot. I for one prefer giving oral, even to subs, but receiving is fine as well.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think a lot is read into whether it is submissive to give, dominant to receive etc., which isn't always as simple and/or necessary as first seems. I can't see why a Dominant who enjoys giving oral should feel compelled to forgo that part of their pleasure simply because looking at it from one perspective makes it appear submissive to some. Nor do I agree it is submissive to deny a PYL who wants to give it anymore than it is to refuse to follow any other order they might give. Is just my take on it and I know it is not everyone's. You might also find some of the responses here from a past thread of similar topic, interesting.

Catalina

 

[twysted73]

So, this was addressed in another post & we thought it should have it's own.

Receiving oral sex for me can be either a submissive act, or one of equality for me.

Let me explain. In a mutual act of pleasure I know that he is doing it because he is willing to for me. It may be that he likes my taste or smell, my reaction or just pleasuring me. But he does it also because he knows I like it.

However, imagine this. I am ordered to strip seductively for him, then walked over to a full length mirror naked, his hands holding my wrists behind my back & my breasts pushed out. With his other hand he reaches down and feels how wet I am before tracing his fingers around my lips & then teasing me when he sees my tongue flick out hoping to catch a taste. Removing his hand back to between my legs he starts to rub me and my knees give way as I push my hips harder into his hand. He whispers in my ear that he owns me completely and that he controls everything, including my orgasm. Then my hands are tied behind my back & I am laid on the bed, my bound wrists under my hips, lifing myself and presenting myself to him. I am ashamed of how available I am to him, can't believe the way my legs seem to have opened wide of their own accord as he steps back & just looks over his pet as I am unable to stop the slow gentle thrusting of my hips as I try & entice him to use me. He then pulls me to the edge of the bed, my heels just perched on the side of the mattress, my hips scooted down as close as they can be, my knees in the air before he pust on hand on the inside of each & pushes them apart. Then he slides one finger into me, hooking it to rub me and looking down into my eyes when he reminds me that he controls my orgasm and I will not come without his permission. I can not ask to come. I must wait till it is granted. Slowly lowering his head to between my legs he traces his tongue along the inside of my thigh, his thumb gently rubbing my clit before his tongue finally replaces it. Then the dance of denial. He brings me to the brink more times that I can count till I can't help but beg to come,which I know will get me trouble. He removes his mouth from me & with his thumb back on my clit, knowing that I would prefer to come on his tongue, grants me the permission as he watches my face, my head thrown back & my neck exposed, my body is quivering. He knows that I am enjoying it and I can ride this orgasmic wave for a while, but gentely removes his hand before I have finished and watches the deapsir on my face, listening to the moan of denail. Waiting till he knows my body is no longer immediately orgasmic. Then he enters me, pulling my hips closer to the egde of the bed, using me for his pleasure. I am definately his submissive.

....................touche`mon amis

 

[TeachMeSir]

....................touche`mon amis

C'est tout? Vous avez le notant d'autre pour dire ? Rien?

(I like you're new signature by the way)

 

[twysted73]

C'est tout? Vous avez le notant d'autre pour dire ? Rien?

(I like you're new signature by the way)

Oh, I have something to say about it alright.

However, I thought the comment left last would be all inclusive.
Whereas before I locked up your mind for the day with my post, I seem to be distracted by that post there.


Tout à fait attrayant. J'ai une imagination vivante. <-- grits teeth on the translation. Not sure it's spot on.

 

[TeachMeSir]

For once I'm speechless.

Faites vous savez l'effet que vous avez?

 

[twysted73]

J'espère que vous continuez à apprécier mon effet.

 

[Netzach]

It's funny this comes up, as I had M tied down securely for a nibble just last night. Under the auspices that I lost a bet with him, and I *am* a woman of my word.

I didn't feel particularly like the loser of a bet, nor subservient.

 

[TeachMeSir]

......

 

[catalina_francisco]

I had a PYL tell me that it would be "beneath him" to allow me to receive any pleasure, and that he would feel inprisioned were he to place his head between my legs. It's nice to know that he was not the norm. It is one thing I just can't live without. I love it.

That's what I mean...some people only think from one perspective and let that define them instead of having the strength to be their own person. LOL, of course, he could have just been using it as an excuse orf did he also feel imprisoned by sex and thus refused to penetrate a submissive woman for fear he would be captured and enslaved by both her thighs and pussy?!!

Catalina

 

[intothewoods]

Check out Shankara's thoughts on this. He's discussing the reverse, that he can give a blow job or take it up the tush as a Top, but it's the same idea.

I suppose this means I should look up the thread, hmm? I'll go do a search.

ETA: still looking!

 

[DrkSword]

Perspective

This is all in the perspective of the individual and what they believe D/s to be.

In my mind (aka; MY World) I perform oral sex on my pet because I know how much she likes me doing it. I don't always enjoy doing it for many reasons but, I love her reaction to my tongue. I will bring her up to the edge and back down several times until she can't take any more before I allow her to cum. I have no problem spending time doing this because of the pleasure I receive from her pain of not being able to have an orgasm until I tell her to.

The part I enjoy the most is; after I let her cum via oral I will crawl on top of her and whisper in her ear for her to cum for me again. I will not touch her in any way other than pressing my body against hers and she cannot touch herself. She has not let me down yet. Each and every time I have commanded her to cum in this was she has.

DS

 

[Homburg]

I had a PYL tell me that it would be "beneath him" to allow me to receive any pleasure, and that he would feel inprisioned were he to place his head between my legs. It's nice to know that he was not the norm. It is one thing I just can't live without. I love it.

I'd personally call that insecurity.

That said, I don't usually want to receive fellatio to the point of orgasm. Feels too much like a loss of control on my part. This is my own insecurity talking. *shrug*

The core issue is still one of sexual compatibility.

 

[TeachMeSir]

......

 

[Homburg]

Insecure is a much nicer word than what I called him!

"Insecure" tends to be very insulting to someone that is insecure, and more so to rawr domly types

 

[WriterDom]

I had a PYL tell me that it would be "beneath him" to allow me to receive any pleasure, and that he would feel inprisioned were he to place his head between my legs. It's nice to know that he was not the norm. It is one thing I just can't live without. I love it.

There are lots of crazy "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" out there. Like the sub can't be on top during sex. Baloney.

I'm having enough of an issue with the bad carb thing. No way I'm giving up pussy eating.

 

[TeachMeSir]

......

 

[EmpressFi]

I'd personally call that insecurity.

That said, I don't usually want to receive fellatio to the point of orgasm. Feels too much like a loss of control on my part. This is my own insecurity talking. *shrug*

The core issue is still one of sexual compatibility.

This actually reminded me of the latest request from Master. He wants to spend "a day" where I lick him and pleasure him orally..but slowly.. just enough to keep him semi hard.. more of a worship thing than an orgasm thing

 

[ownedsubgal]

i have to admit, although the event described in the OP was interesting and well-written, the actions/motivations/emotions are wayyyyy outside the range of my own experiences and feelings, to the point where i just have to scratch my head and say, "um, i don't get it?"

...but that's my own lil hang-up. i'm one of those weirdos who views the giving of oral sex (in general, not universally) to be a submissive or subservient act, and as a sub and slave it's not something i ever have a desire to experience. fortunately i have a Master who doesn't find the activity particularly interesting so performs it very rarely (and usually on another woman, thank goodness!)...but when he does it, it's always for his own pleasure solely, and he's not trying to evoke a positive response in the female.

some Dominants enjoy and will even demand control over a submissive's physical arousal and pleasure, and for many women receiving oral sex is a very pleasureable act. then again, for some women it's dull and for others like me it's downright horrifying lol. it all depends on the individuals involved and what dominance and submissiveness really mean to them.

 

[JamieB]

Her pleasure has a visceral appeal for me...her movements, her moans, her breathing, the taste and smell of her, I love it. And I like the control, manipulating her orgasm, slowing it down, speeding it up, denying it and then allowing it (maybe). Oral sex is great for all of it.

To me there's nothing about the act itself which is inherently submissive in the way that receiving a spanking or allowing oneself to be bound is. Oral is just another tool in my Domly toolbox.

J

 

[_kiana_]

I don't really feel like someone going down on me is a submissive act. Simply because while I love how it feels, I dislike it at the same time and don't let anyone do it. Unless of course the person is dominant over me. Then they get to do as the bloody well please, even if it is giving me oral sex.

During one session a while ago, the dominant play partner I'm with was trying to teach me to do something. I had a little bit of a freak out over feeling like I wasn't doing it well enough and was a total failure because I couldn't do it right. (There is no need to tell me how ridiculous that thought is, I'm working on it.)

He decided that I needed something to bring me back into the real world. I was still beating myself up over not being able to do what he wanted while he was eating me out. I had to ask permission to cum but really did not want to. I felt like I had failed and didn't "deserve" the pleasure. Cue a lesson in who gets to decide that.

I don't know how long he kept at it but he had me on edge for so long. He knew that I was trying to hold off, trying to out last him, trying to keep myself from enjoying it. And he just calmly continued. The battle in my head raged, not wanting to give in because of my own feelings of failure all the while my body betraying me.

Obviously, I didn't "win". I gave in and begged to cum. He not only allowed it, but forced me to cum over and over. And followed it up with fierce words on how I'm not the one to decide how my performance has been and whether or not I'm to be rewarded.

So, nope. Oral sex being performed on me is certainly not a submissive act. It happens because it is something he wants. And I've had to go through several lessons in trying to remember that he gets to do what he damn well wants, whether I like it or not.

 

[bustyblondebombshell]

I consider it as a weapon against me. I enjoy it so much and it can be very fulfilling, yet it is the way to torture me by bringing me to the edge on demand.... denying me the release I crave or forcing me to cum against my 'mental' will.

I don't feel any more like I am topping when I am the one receiving the pleasure as it can be used so very much against me.

 

[SubByChoice]

i submit

sub christie performs oral service at the Direction of MISTRESS J.

MISTRESS Knows that sub enjoys performing orally.

MISTRESS is satisfied when sub is denied direct stimulation of the penis and orgasm.

sub has orally served many superiors of both sexes, often in groups of six or eight.

Thank YOU MISTRESS.

(sub always looks forward to pressing the Submit Reply button)

 

[BiBunny]

I don't think an act can be submissive or dominant. The intent behind it makes it such.

I like having oral sex performed on me. It's not my favorite thing; I can take it or leave it. But I do enjoy it from time to time. When a dominant partner licks my pussy, it makes me feel very submissive. On the other hand, when a submissive partner does it, it makes me feel very dominant.

Same goes for me giving oral sex. I love to give it. If I'm sucking cock or eating pussy for a dominant partner, I feel submissive. If I'm doing it for a submissive partner, I feel dominant. Was that confusing enough?