Opposites attract?

[EllieTalbot]

Have you ever had a successful relationship with someone completely unlike you?

Are you a neat freak who lives with a slob?
A tree-hugger clinging to a lumberjack?
Do you swoon over a conservative with your liberal amounts of adoration?
Are you a God-fearing soul who worships an atheist?

Is the initial attraction to an opposite doomed to wither under the strain of disagreement? Or can those differences be transcended and even feed a relationship?

Is it better to just stick to your own flock?


Curious in Calgary,
Ellie

 

[Guest]

 

[glamorilla]

I dsated a guy ojnce when I was a young teen....I thought we had a lot in common, we did.......we both liked men!

I found this out after he came out years later

we have so much in common!

 

[lnxguru]

I did the whole dating someone completely opposite in a lot of ways... but she got wierd, and went back to her drug dealer boyfriend who got her thrown back in jail for his drugs.

Oh well. You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl... and she belonged there.

please exuse the trailer park reference. It wasn't meant to offend.

 

[sexy-girl]

my girlfriend is sometimes so much like me its unreal

but there is also a number of things we're completely opposite with


so i guess its best to have a mix of both

 

[amsubone]

Have you ever had a successful relationship with someone completely unlike you?

Are you a neat freak who lives with a slob?
A tree-hugger clinging to a lumberjack?
Do you swoon over a conservative with your liberal amounts of adoration?
Are you a God-fearing soul who worships an atheist?

Is the initial attraction to an opposite doomed to wither under the strain of disagreement? Or can those differences be transcended and even feed a relationship?

Is it better to just stick to your own flock?


Curious in Calgary,
Ellie

i think there is a lot to be gained with someone who is not like you. When we did out premarital counseling the person doing our counseling was a fan of Myers-Briggs typology and based on the results made the recommendation that we not get married because we so different. In a flash of brilliance i said that we could choose to view the differences as compliment or conflict.

Since then, and 20+ years of marriage, i've discovered that opposites complete each other and that there is balance that can be achieved. i've also discovered that it is difficult to esteem the other person who thinks and processes information so differently than me and give them value and the space to be whom they are.

We did go through some difficult seasons because we were so different but we became good friends, able to appreciate those differences, and make them work for us.

Relationship is easy and it's hard. We did find, however, that agreement came because, at the core, even though our processes were different, we were committed to the same things.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Sames attract.

 

[J.B.]

If that were true I wouldn't be single

 

[sanjuaneros]

Have you ever had a successful relationship with someone completely unlike you?

Si', so far it is successful.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

yeah opposites attract, beautiful women go for greasy scumbags while the gentlemen are stuck at home jacking off .

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[EllieTalbot]

Interesting responses so far, Hanns notwithstanding.

The reason I ask is that I tend to look for men who feel the same way I do when it comes to politics, religion, etc. Picky, picky, picky.
But the best relationship of my life was with someone who was quite contrary.

Keeps you on your toes, that's for sure!

Now that I'm on the market again, I'm trying to modify my outlook and not dismiss someone right away just because of a political stance.

I think 4laterer really hit it. It can balance things out.

Overthinking in Oklahoma,
Ellie

 

[Guest]

Have you ever had a successful relationship with someone completely unlike you?

Are you a neat freak who lives with a slob?
A tree-hugger clinging to a lumberjack?
Do you swoon over a conservative with your liberal amounts of adoration?
Are you a God-fearing soul who worships an atheist?

Is the initial attraction to an opposite doomed to wither under the strain of disagreement? Or can those differences be transcended and even feed a relationship?

Is it better to just stick to your own flock?


Curious in Calgary,
Ellie

I never understood that concept of opposites attract. In my own observations I find that theory hard to believe.

 

[Olivianna]

I've never quite found someone to be opposite from me in most regards. There are varying degrees, I suppose. I think a blatant and problematic opposites stem from a lack of understanding between partners.

 

[patient1]

Yeah,, I find that opposites attract.

Trouble is they tend to be going in opposite directions & can't stay together for long.

Compatible is It forms lasting relationships.

 

[Starfish]

It has not worked for me, but I can imagine some people may not like the idea of being with someone like themselves and want someone different to break up the monotony.

I like to be related to, and when I am not, I feel I am out of my element.