Opinions on Unconventional Story Starts

[Silver_Arrow]

I wrote a short bit to a new story, now that I guess I'm exploring things outside of my main narration. I had initially thought it was going to be somewhere near the middle but I am wondering if it would an interesting and different start to the story. It's fictional but set in our world, skipping over any deep background and launching the story with a brief sex scene that covers names, basic motivation, and connection between two characters before diving into narration, story, and a subsequent second longer sex scene later on seems a little weird but also possibly interesting. At least I'm drawn to it.

What are people's thoughts about 'non standard' story beginnings? I can easily imagine it might not appeal to everyone but that's not something I'm worried about.

Has anyone else used something similar OR different to start a story off that they liked or ultimately didn't like?

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Anything that effectively grabs the reader's attention and hooks them in is almost certainly good.

a brief sex scene that covers names, basic motivation, and connection between two characters before diving into narration

The brief sex scene could even do less than that, enticing the reader to read on to find out the motivations and the connections.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

It's fictional but set in our world, skipping over any deep background and launching the story with a brief sex scene that covers names, basic motivation, and connection between two characters before diving into narration, story, and a subsequent second longer sex scene later on seems a little weird but also possibly interesting.

I'd say that should be the "standard" approach when it comes to Lit stories. There are so many free stories here and you need to capture the reader's interest early on or they will just move to the next story. Starting with some kind of action or sex scene is usually a good way to do it. Once you pique the reader's interest, you can slowly add exposition, bit by bit.

 

[SimonDoom]

Go for it.

My philosophy about starting stories has evolved more and more to the theory: Dive Right In. Don't explain. Don't provide background. Plunge the reader into a specific scene with one or more main characters and make that scene reveal something about their character and motivation. THEN weave in exposition and background.

I often begin stories with short sentences that I hope grab reader attention:

Snow White: "Fuck me! Fuck my sopping wet cunt!" (I laughed as I wrote that one. The evil queen is fucking a knight in her bed and the purpose of the scene is to establish her evil character and motivation while also providing a little shock value).

Bubble-Butt Gym Whore: I started going to the gym after my boyfriend made a snide remark about my thighs. (That one line, which begins the story, sets everything in motion. I segue into the specific scene where the boyfriend makes the remark instead of offering a long exposition).

Anything for the Sale: "The doorbell rang." That, too, sets the action in motion. A woman real estate agent answers the door for a prospective customer, who is handsome, sexy, and very rich.


I don't know if the latter two are really "unconventional," but they avoid the long exposition-style opening.

Feel free to mix it up and experiment. I generally like the idea of plunging the reader into a scene rather than offering background and exposition, like the cold open scene in a James Bond movie.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Are you thinking that starting with a lot of background, before you actually begin the story, is conventional? The Lord of the Rings starts that way, but it's actually uncommon. Which story would you keep reading?

Jake and his mom lived in a ranch house in El Segundo. Their dog was named Chewy. They had a Honda Civic. They grew roses.

or

Jake was just getting out of the shower when he heard his mom shouting, "Yes! Yes! YES!"

He thought, "Dammit, can't those two be quiet for even a second?"

And mom shouted, "God! God! OH GOD!"

I suspect the second one would hold the attention better.

-Annie

 

[TheLobster]

I suspect the second one would hold the attention better.

What this comparison really shows is that beginning in media res is simply easier to do well.

The second sample isn't written well at all but it draws reader attention regardless.
The first sample is an atrocious bit of exposition but it doesn't mean a better one wouldn't be as effective as an action-based start.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

The first sample is an atrocious bit of exposition but it doesn't mean a better one wouldn't be as effective as an action-based start.

You could tell I did that on purpose, right?

 

[lovecraft68]

Its not about the idea not being conventional, its can you as the author sell it to the reader? Its not about the idea itself, but the delivery.

 

[TheLobster]

You could tell I did that on purpose, right?

Of course. But then I'm puzzled what was the point of this comparison.

Is the action bit supposed to read equally bad? Because it certainly doesn't. I mean, it's nothing special but I've seen worse in stories that skirted around the H mark on this site.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I mean, it's nothing special but I've seen worse in stories that skirted around the H mark on this site.

I've seen far worse that hover around 4.8 ... more than once (or twice, or five or six times ...)

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Of course. But then I'm puzzled what was the point of this comparison.

Is the action bit supposed to read equally bad? Because it certainly doesn't. I mean, it's nothing special but I've seen worse in stories that skirted around the H mark on this site.

Honestly? I didn't think it through when I was writing it, but the reason is that starting with pure exposition, unless you're actually JRR Tolkien or just as good, reads to me like that. "Here is a fact. Here is another fact. Here are some names. Here is a fact." Personal quirk of mine, likely.

You can be interesting while describing something, more easily than reciting something, in my opinion.

Jake winced. His mom's lawn was a foot high again, hadn't been mowed for at least two weeks. She was probably already going to be fined by the HOA. He blamed "The Distractor".

As he walked up to her door, he saw fallen leaves all over it, unwashed windows ... was that a fucking dead bird on the front porch?! Dammit, this had gone too far. OK, it had gone too far last time he was here, but now it was even worse.

Carp. Now I want to write that story.

-Annie

 

[Kumquatqueen]

If you're introducing a new kind of world or a creature or even someone with an unusual job, then a paragraph of description often works.

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of
worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to
eat: it a was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

Immediately we know the story is about a hobbit. What's a hobbit? Well, the next sentence gives us some idea, and the next paragraph adds details - a creature that thrives in the ideal country cottage of Fifties England, gets to eat lots of tasty food (big fantasy of Fifties England), and has lots of friends and relations and generally a perfect life. Something is going to happen to disrupt this, isn't it?

If the first paragraph read "In a New York apartment there lived a woman. Not a nasty, grimy walk-up filled with hookers and graffiti, nor a luxurious upscale apartment on the Upper East Side, but it was the woman's apartment, which meant cozy comfort." - then I bet most readers would think I was yakking on about her living quarters too much already, even before we get onto the doors and the rooms and the view!

Same with LoTR - whoever Bilbo is, it's his eleventy-first birthday in the first sentence, he's clearly not your typical human, something is going on here; let's get some world-building in.

People read SF and fantasy for some descriptive world-building. Something set in the real world? You've got to make them care about the story and characters, and any detail needs to add to that, rather than detract.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Anything that effectively grabs the reader's attention and hooks them in is almost certainly good.

This - 100%.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

People read SF and fantasy for some descriptive world-building. Something set in the real world? You've got to make them care about the story and characters, and any detail needs to add to that, rather than detract.

That’s actually quite profound! I’ve never thought of it like that. Thank you.

 

[ronde]

I often start a story with a few paragraphs that some authors would put in the middle of the story. I do that with the intention of making the reader ask some questions and then read the story to get the answers.

1. Why is the character where he or she is?
2. What is that character doing and why.
3. Are other characters interacting with the character and why.

Those are questions that need an explanation. The explanation happens in the rest of the story.

 

[Djmac1031]

Has anyone else used something similar

Sure did. A story called "Mommy For Hire."

Up until that one, my stories generally started in the usual fashion, introduce the main character, then the character they're interested in, the scenes, the scenario, eventually, the sex.

"Mommy For Hire" starts differently, with the two main characters already in the middle of a sex scene.

I then explain more about who they are and what brought them together after.

And it worked really well. The story did very well for me.

 

[Silver_Arrow]

People read SF and fantasy for some descriptive world-building. Something set in the real world? You've got to make them care about the story and characters, and any detail needs to add to that, rather than detract.

I second that this was very helpful to see. I hadn't thought about it that way. Thanks!

 

[THBGato]

One of my favourite stories on here, Hero Worship, starts in media res with a sea rescue. Grabs you immediately. Forget saving the cat, this is saving a girl.

As others have said, this is surely the best way to go.

Probably one of the only writers here good enough to get away with starting a story with a bit of exposition/descriptionis Wanda (e.g. in Falling, though one could argue it is also a bit in media res, even if it is just a girl starting at a gym).

 

[ElectricBlue]

Yep, jump right into a story.

Coffee with Emma is sexual, it's exquisite.

I sit across from her at a small wooden table, outside one of the inner city cafes I go to occasionally. With Emma I'd go there every day for a month or a year, or for an hour or two, just to see her. Even thirty minutes will do, provided I see her tomorrow.

I have my usual latte with a leaf pattern on the froth. Emma has something rich and dark, swirling dark and mysterious as she turns it with a small spoon. She's like that, there's a depth and a darkness I'm drowning in. There's a clear golden light, too, melting down from the sky up above. Light scatters and sparkles on the surface of the slow turning liquid. There's more to coffee than the cup.

We're skirting around anal sex. It's my taboo still, but for Emma, it's what someone taught her. I'm teaching her something new. My care will fill her. Care full.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Just please, please, please don't start with a long historical diatribe and physical description of the MC or other key players...
Please...

 

[Bramblethorn]

My rule of thumb is that the opening should help a reader answer the question "am I going to enjoy this story if I read the whole thing?" I want to hook the people who will enjoy the story I plan to tell, but I'm not particularly interested in suckering people in who are hoping for something that I'm not providing.

For stories with downer content, the opening may also be about setting expectations. "She dies in the end, but let me tell you about how she lived" hits very differently to "here's a neat person, let me tell you about her and make you fall in love with her...and now she dies".

Devices like non-chronological storytelling are not inherently good or bad. They can be great for a story when used thoughtfully, to provoke a specific reaction from the reader by presenting information in a particular order. They become a problem when authors use them just for the sake of using a fancy device.

 

[SimonDoom]

Anything that effectively grabs the reader's attention and hooks them in is almost certainly good.

Totally agree. It's like taking off in a fighter jet from an aircraft carrier. Get it right and you can fulfill your mission. Don't, and your plane is on the bottom of the ocean.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I think this is the best way to grab a reader. You can fill in a little background as you go.

Have an intense scene then while the characters are basking in the afterglow, have one flash back to the first time they met. Fill in a few blanks, then into a continuation scene.

 

[Silver_Arrow]

I think this is the best way to grab a reader. You can fill in a little background as you go.

Have an intense scene then while the characters are basking in the afterglow, have one flash back to the first time they met. Fill in a few blanks, then into a continuation scene.

This is almost exactly what I did for a ~4k story I just banged out. Hopefully it works given I've never written like that before. Nor in the category I wrote it.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I've often found a bit of conversation works, to get you right in to knowing the characters and summarising the situation they're in, from the start.

Image Nine Point Four:
"Jan, love? You'll want a read of this!"
"What is it?" My husband is waving his precious tablet at me, so the article must be important.
"New Government, same old paranoia about kinky porn. They're as bad as the last bloody lot." We had yet another election last year, in 2028. [Only set in the future so I could happily defame politicians and handwave round some legal procedures!]

Meaningless Kisses:
"Excuse me. Is this seat taken?
"No, not at all. You're welcome." The well-spoken tone wasn't what I'd expected from the sullen late-teenage girl, who clutched her denim jacket around herself as she looked up from her popular thriller. I gave her a second look.
"Is that food good?" she asked.
"Yes! It always is. Put it this way, I ate here regularly for about six months before I realised it was all vegetarian."
"Impressive. Could you mind my seat, while I get some, too? Thank you." She gave me a shy smile, transforming her grumpy appearance.
I'm a sucker for a cute smile.
I gave the girl a good long third look while I had a good view of her from behind. [cue for ogling descriptive detail!]

Educating Laura ch.1:
"Great to have you on board, Laura."
"Thanks," I said. It was a roof over my head for the summer. OK, technically it wasn't. But I'd have my own tent to live in -- old but sturdy. Two days off a week. All meals and a bike included.

Sex Swing Satisfaction:
"So, Adrian, love? How does it feel, being forty-nine?"
A square number. Amazed I've lived this long, to be honest. When I was young, I assumed the drink and drugs would get me, if AIDS or a fight didn't. [couple paragraphs of introspection and background on how Adrian met his partner who's asking]
"Fine. Still under fifty; still young, eh?" I tell him. I've still got a decent head of hair, even if 'sandy' gets lighter and lighter. I'm told the blue eyes and Irish accent are attractive, though I suspect it's being a right whore which lures guys to my lightweight body. I love getting fucked even more than sucking cock, which is saying something!
Dan laughs. He's ten years younger. Helps keep me young, I swear. "Any things you'd like to do to help celebrate?" [See title.]

In contrast, my only SF/F type story (Erotic Horror) on Lit is much more descriptive of place - London is practically a character:
Londoner Calling:
I look round my new city, my new manor. It's actually been my home for millennia, but London's changed again, after my quick ten-year nap.
I've escaped a growing infection of shiny polished skyscrapers and steel-glass office blocks, all smooth and sealed. No dingy alleyways left, nor any harbour for anyone not welcome in these oppressive high-rises.
But walking my revised corporeal form another half-mile brings me to Victorian red terraces, with chunks broken off that soft orange brick; ethnic cafés on the ground floor, various businesses on the first, overpriced bedsits on the second and third. Some newer buildings in gaps where bombs landed in the Blitz, all Fifties utilitarian blocks or Sixties concrete. The odd small marble church, a modern Eighties Post Office with garish plastic trim. This hodge-podge of architecture permits passages into small pedestrian courts and fire escapes into poured-concrete yards. Gaps, interstitial spaces. I feel I can breathe a bit better.
Not that I need to breathe.

Though possibly my best opening on Lit used both the 'start in the middle of a sex scene' and the 'make them curious, immediately' techniques:
It was the door-frame incident that had really knocked Ali's confidence.
She'd tied me up, as kinky girlfriends do, leather restraints round my wrists and the two buckled together behind my back.
(from Wheelchair Bound?)