Opinions needed concerning women....

[SnoopDog]

...ok, I'll try and make this as short as possible.

There's this girl I met and I want to know what you guys think about her attitude. I really have to know whether she's seriosuly interested in me or just wants to be friends.

She's a co-ed. I've seen her in class and through some other co-eds seen her once or twice out of class. Then two weeks ago I was invided to her birthday party but by someone else (the girl in which appartment we celebrated), not by her. We had a decent time and then we went home and she has the same way home as I do. It was in the middle of the week so it was back to uni the next day for both of us. At 2.am. we're standing in front of my house and we just talked. And we really discussed a lot of isues. We laughed, we talked serious stuff, we just had a great conversation. When it ended it was 6.a.m. and the sun had come up. Yesterday we had class togeher again and with the same co-eds had a pizza afterwards. Again we walked home together at about 11.p.m. and we ended up in front of my house again. Again we talked and talked and laughed and we're serious. And we sat on the street talking until 4.a.m.

So I guess there is some kind of connection, lol. I just can't figure if she is attracted to me or is just glad to have found a friend to talk to. She is a really inward shy person, really sweet and has a little inferiority complex. And I found that we are so alike me and her.
She's told me that she really likes the fact that she has found someone to have deep discussions with whom she just met.
Now what do you think is her intention? Any chance of me ending up with her?

Snoopy

 

[Goldie Munro]

...ok, I'll try and make this as short as possible.

There's this girl I met and I want to know what you guys think about her attitude. I really have to know whether she's seriosuly interested in me or just wants to be friends.

She's a co-ed. I've seen her in class and through some other co-eds seen her once or twice out of class. Then two weeks ago I was invided to her birthday party but by someone else (the girl in which appartment we celebrated), not by her. We had a decent time and then we went home and she has the same way home as I do. It was in the middle of the week so it was back to uni the next day for both of us. At 2.am. we're standing in front of my house and we just talked. And we really discussed a lot of isues. We laughed, we talked serious stuff, we just had a great conversation. When it ended it was 6.a.m. and the sun had come up. Yesterday we had class togeher again and with the same co-eds had a pizza afterwards. Again we walked home together at about 11.p.m. and we ended up in front of my house again. Again we talked and talked and laughed and we're serious. And we sat on the street talking until 4.a.m.

So I guess there is some kind of connection, lol. I just can't figure if she is attracted to me or is just glad to have found a friend to talk to. She is a really inward shy person, really sweet and has a little inferiority complex. And I found that we are so alike me and her.
She's told me that she really likes the fact that she has found someone to have deep discussions with whom she just met.
Now what do you think is her intention? Any chance of me ending up with her?

Snoopy

Do what you think is right Snoop! If you want it go for it - don't be scared to try!

 

[TxRad]

If she's shy and introvered like you as you say, do as you would want done...

Don't push but don't back off either.... Invite her on a one on one date and see what happens.... that would get your interest across without possible scaring her...

And most of all... be yourself... if its right it'll be enough...

Just a dirty old man here that's been around the block a few times... Actually I'm not that old, I've just got high mileage.....

 

[JamesSD]

You need to take a chance and find out

So I guess there is some kind of connection, lol. I just can't figure if she is attracted to me or is just glad to have found a friend to talk to. She is a really inward shy person, really sweet and has a little inferiority complex. And I found that we are so alike me and her.
She's told me that she really likes the fact that she has found someone to have deep discussions with whom she just met.
Now what do you think is her intention? Any chance of me ending up with her?

You didn't explicitly state it, but I assume you have an attraction to her beyond friendship, right?

This is one of those situations where flirting really lets you feel her out. Drop a compliment about her eyes, her smile, her hair, something that stands out to you and you genuinely mean. Touch her. Not in a groping, grabbing sort of way, but in a natural way. I'm guessing you're in the UK, and my assumption is that you folks are like us Americans in that you typically don't enter each other's spaces when talking, and doing so is you way of hinting to her you're interested. Do you hug her goodnight after your long talks?

Unfortunately, if she's as shy as you seem to think she is, her responses to your flirtation may be tough to read.

Are you friends with her friends? My general experience has been that women often enjoy playing matchmaker. Asking a friend of hers "Has ____ dated anyone recently?" invites her to guess that you're interested. Even if she doesn't know for sure, she's likely to steer you in the right direction.

Here's the big thing: you do need to act. Generally you have 1-3 months between spending time with a woman in that in between zone before being moved into the "friend zone". This isn't a bad thing, but there almost always comes a point for most women where they will say "I couldn't date him, he's too good a friend." So if you want her, go for her, if you wait too long it could be too late.

If you're truly brave, just ask her out. Doesn't have to be formal or uncomfortable, could be "You know, you and I should get together for coffee sometime and talk when it isn't 2 in the morning". Even if she ins't interested in you that way, she'd most likely be flattered by your interest. Even in the 21st century women do like to be pursued by men.

My hunch is she likes you but is shy and insecure. And really, you're better off finding out if she does feel that way than missing your chance. Good luck!

 

[cloudy]

Snoop,

I know what it's like to really want to find your other, you know? The best possible advice I could ever give anyone, is to be her friend, first and foremost.

Don't overanalyze every little thing she says, every little nuance in her face, push all that out of your mind. Be her friend, get to know her. If she's interested in you as more than a friend, she'll find a way to let you know, I promise. If she is only interested in friendship, then you still have come out a winner because you seem to have gained a very nice friend.

Stop obsessing so much over whether this girl or that girl is interested in more. Relax, be a friend, and the one that is interested in you for romance will find her way to your side, I promise.

 

[Liar]

She's told me that she really likes the fact that she has found someone to have deep discussions with whom she just met.
Now what do you think is her intention? Any chance of me ending up with her?

Fairly educated guess: She doen't have an intention yet. But rather an open mind about the possibilities. Tomorrow, next week, next year... who knows? Either way, from your description she seems like the kind of person well worth to connect with - on whatever level it turns out was meant for you.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

As long as you two keep meeting and talking like that and enjoying each other's company, what do you care what it's called or what her intentions are?

You've got someone you enjoy being with who enjoys being with you. That's a lot.

 

[SeaCat]

Snoop,

I have to agree with Doc here. You two seem to hit it off. Go with the flow and enjoy each others company. If things are meant to be she'll let you know. Until then just have a good time and enjoy her company.

I fafter a few more meetings/get togethers you still feel the same way and think she might be interested then ask her out for coffee or something else simple. (Nothing fancy or romantic.) If after that things seem to be going ell, and maybe pogressing then try something like a small gift. Again nothing fancy or overly romantic. One step at a time my friend, one step at a time.

Cat

Oh and please don't make the mistake of foresaking any other friends you have for her company. This is a big mistake.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Snoop, that sounds really cool. It's so much fun to meet someone you connect with!

All I can tell you is to relax and enjoy getting to know her. You'll know when things feel right.

 

[Couture]

I say you ask her to sit somewhere more comfortable next time when you have your talk. Then walk her to someplace private and have a conversation.

While you are talking, just stop right in the middle of what you are saying... give a nice dramatic pause. Look into her eyes, then say something like, "God you are beautiful." Then reach up and touch her hair. Put it behind her ear or something. Or you can reach down and trace her fingers with one of your own.

If she doesn't pull away, move in for the kiss. When you are kissing her, put your hand down her pants. It's a combination. It's like pow-pow-pow. They don't even know what's hit 'em till it's too late.

Good luck. If I knew then, what I know now.

 

[mismused]

delete

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Snoop,

It sounds like a good deal for the two of you. By the sounds of things you're both in your early twenties (?), so a suggestion that should be kept in mind is that you both have a lot of living to do. Do what feels right, but do it slowly, in all areas.

Best of luck to you with whatever you do.

 

[fairysong]

Be her friend first and then just let things go with the flow. Don't rush, enjoy the time together and get to know each other better. Sometimes the best relationships are those that start with friendships.

*huge hugs* my friend.

Fairysong

 

[Belegon]

I agree that the friendship is primary. Because you are going to want that to stay regardless. If you become romantically involved you are still going to want that.

No one sits and talks until daybreak with someone they have no interest in. How far that interest goes is the question.Take the compliment you are already being given and enjoy it. Use it to feed the confidence that sometimes seems to elude you. (don't worry. It eludes us all)

You don't have to rush. But, don't fear to follow your heart. You know more than you will admit to yourself. Allow that knowledge to speak to you. watch her eyes. gentle touches on her hand, see if she accepts them or pulls away. does she hug you? does she give herself to the hug, reluctant to break away? there are a million little signs. the problem is, everybody has a different vocabulary with them. that is why it is so hard. there is a reason being young is hard. and there is a reason love's victories are so very special.

listen, learn, enjoy, do not fear. it will be alright.

 

[DrFreud]

You've got some pretty good advice Snoop. All that I can add is a quote that I believe is so true:

Love will enter cloaked in friendship's name. ~ Ovid


Good luck.

 

[English Lady]

Great advice abounds round here


Snoop,take it easy, take it slow and see what happens. touch may be a key, if you don't already try touching her arm as you speak or a hug in greeting or as a goodbye, whatever you feel appropriate and see how she reacts.

Eye contact is important too, try and keep eye contact with her, you'll see alot in her eyes *smiles*

It sounds like you've found more than just a friend to me, take your time and flirt,flirt,flirt and see what happens

 

[Pure]

make an arrangement that is more like a date, but still allows the talk, like going to the zoo, or something. as others have said, small amounts of touching usually elicit some clues; if there is no response, i'd say, at least at present, she might lack 'physical interest.' she could also be one of the 'old fashioned' type that want lots of acquaintance, committment etc before sex. or more likely she's just inexperienced, so would benefit from your lead.

i think couture's bold strategy often works with more sophisticated, physically attracted persons, and is plausible PROVIDED each step of escalation is clearly welcomed and responded to, and that you're not grabbing her crotch while she's still hesitantly kissing you.

 

[SnoopDog]

Well, thnx everybody so far. You guys are truly wonderful as always.

I'll definitely try and flirt with her a bit when I see her again on wednesday. I'll keep you guys updated.

Snoopy

 

[Shadowskill Knight]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you snoop.

 

[SnoopDog]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you snoop.

Thnx, I could need that.

Snoopy

 

[SnoopDog]

Ok, I said I'd keep you guys updated so here's the news.

Yesterday we had our class together again. Me and her and two other co-eds were going home afterwards (it was quarter to nine p.m.) and it rained like...no it poured. So the other two rushed out into the rain, getting their bus. Me and her, since she couldn't run through the rain (her shoes...) wanted to wait till the rain stopped. But the building was set to be closed at nine so we had to walk through the rain. We ended up both soaked at a bus station where our ways would seperate. I asked her for her plans for the weekend and she told me she was going home over the weekend. However we agreed on doing something together next week. We swapped cell-phone-numbers. But then, both completely soaked and freezing, didn't go home into our warm and dry places but stayed at that bus stop, talking again up to 3.30 a.m. or something like that. We both had a great discussion...again, and made fun about the fact that this seems to be a recurring theme (us sitting at a bus stop through the entire night) I tried to get close to her, touch her now and then, looking deep into her eyes, but she still was a bit reluctant though not completely turned off. However, at one point when we were alone (people came and went all the time, some of them thinking us pretty stupid I suppose, but who cares) she asked me if I and this other co-ed we're seeing each other because if so she'd feel uncomfortable spending the whole night with me. I told her it wasn't so.
We then talked and talked and later agreed on going to the movies on tuesday and also that the next wednesday, instead of talking the entire night at some bus stop catching a cold, we'll go to her place.

So, looks pretty good so far, right?

Snoopy

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Yay, Snoop! Sounds promising. I don't think she'd ask if you were seeing someone else if she wasn't interested.

This kind of reminds me of that song by The Hollies "Bus Stop", way before your time, I'm sure.

All that summer we enjoyed it, wind and rain and shine. That umbrella, we employed it, by August she was mine.

too bad you didn't have an umbrella like in the song

 

[SnoopDog]

Yay, Snoop! Sounds promising. I don't think she'd ask if you were seeing someone else if she wasn't interested.

This kind of reminds me of that song by The Hollies "Bus Stop", way before your time, I'm sure.

All that summer we enjoyed it, wind and rain and shine. That umbrella, we employed it, by August she was mine.

too bad you didn't have an umbrella like in the song

Thnx for that connection.

Yeah, no umbrella. But August is coming, lol.

Wanna know the best part about it, I think I'm really in love.

Cross your fingers please.......

Snoopy

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Thnx for that connection.

Yeah, no umbrella. But August is coming, lol.

Wanna know the best part about it, I think I'm really in love.

Cross your fingers please.......

Snoopy

fingers crossed.

 

[SnoopDog]

fingers crossed.

Thnx my lady.

Snoopy,