Opinions/Ideas wanted...

[Guest]

When I was out and about yesterday, I began jotting down a thing or two in my notebook. Before I knew it, I had a possible beginning to a story.

I would love to hear the opinions of you all on what I have written so far, and suggestions/ideas on where things could lead.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was five after eight when I pulled into the lot. Almost instantly a car pulled up next to mine. The driver turned to look at me. I knew it had to be him. The window on the passenger side opened, so I rolled mine down too. "You're late," was all he said to me. I opened my mouth, a defending excuse ready, but his window was back up before I could utter a word.

He got out of his car before I could even roll mine back up. He opened my car door and gestures for me to get out. To any passerby he seemed like a gentleman, but I saw the fire in his eyes and knew I made my first mistake.

Quickly I stepped out of my car and he closed the door. "Your keys," he said. I stared at him blankly. "Your keys," he repeated, holding out his hand.

Without even thinking, I handed them to him. He locked my car door and placed my keys in his pocket. My eyes followed the path of his hand and I couldn't help but notice the bulge in his pants.

He smiled, though his face quickly hardened again. "Let's go," he said, firmly pushing along the center of my back. As though through his will alone I felt my legs move...

 

[Diane Marie]

Very good opening BlessedBe. You’ve surely sparked my interest, I want more.

 

[sirhugs]

More More More

I feel like its one of those tv shows where they create a cliffhanger then cut to commercial. I NEED to read what happens next.

 

[MissTaken]

Hmmmm

that sounds like a great beginning to a story in which a gal has met someone on line and has established a D/s relatonship via phone and internet.

Hence, your knees weaken and you follow quietly, with eyes lowered, near tears as you really didn't want to begin the real life relationshp by disappointing him. Of course, you know that he isn't one to accept irresponsible behavior well and will need to teach you to be more considerate of his time.

I see lots of potential here, as disappointment is oftentimes one of our first fears when moving from online to real time.

So, you sit in the car, dressed as directed, hands folded in your lap and go with him. Of course, you have taken all the safety precautions and know that you will be safe, even if the first time together isn't the scene you wanted....

or was it?

Perhaps you intentionally made yourself late as you have so craved discipline and kink and have been deprived for so long, that you would do anything to make sure you get what you need.

Excuse the lousy grammar, but I am typing a mile a minute...excellent start!

And just my two cents, of course !

 

[PaulX35]

More thoughts

BB,

Very nice start, that leaves the reader truly curious as to what might be happening next. I wanna really read what you make of it, but will give you one trigger it gave me...

I was imagining an affair having come to a stop (e.g. because both had other relationships) but the two people involved agreeing to meet once more. There's a rushy atmosphere, because they don't want to be seen together.

Impatiently,

Paul

 

[MsLinnet]

Love the opening BB

It has me wondering is this advance unrequited or requited and you have the tension building already well done

Love Linnet