opera had a show on swingers

[jeninflorida]

missed most of it, but it seemed interesting, she stated that 17% of married women admitted to having affairs. i dont know if there are any stats on 'swingers' or how many enjoy taking home a lover.

the challange for writing, the start. how does a couple go from being 'normal' to sharing their bed? what fears do you have?

fears that males have shared with me:
he might be bigger
he might last longer
what if my wife wants him more then me

fears that women have:
how will he feel after i've been with another man (will he be mad at me)
he wont love me, after i've been with a man
she will be prettier then me
he will like her more then me
he will leave me for her
(the normal being uncomfortable with her body - not feeling sexy)

what are the bennies:
being treated like a queen


I would love to hear from others, what your fears are about opening things up. also, how did you start?

For us, living in CA we spent a lot of time at the beach and driving to vegas with our freinds. i've alwasy been curious about girls and things heated up one weekend when my friend shared a hotel room with us.

I think it takes a lot to open things up, both have to be confident and have posses communication skills. you have to open yourself up to your spouse and its very scarey the first time. while growing up, a lot of guys are jealous and unable to handle a strong sexually confident woman. so most women tend to hide her sexuality side, until she feels comortable (i.e. a girls weekend).

sorry, i'm all over the board on this subject but wanted to get something started

 

[M's girl]

Opera?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Opera?

looks something like this?

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/he/photo/movie_pix/oscars/77th_academy_awards_red_carpet_arrivals_photos/oprah_winfrey/oscars3.jpg

 

[jeninflorida]

looks something like this?

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/he/photo/movie_pix/oscars/77th_academy_awards_red_carpet_arrivals_photos/oprah_winfrey/oscars3.jpg

why yes...thanks....sorry for not using spell check...was in a hurry.

great picture by the way!

 

[Selena_Kitt]

why yes...thanks....sorry for not using spell check...was in a hurry.

great picture by the way!

closest I could get to Oprah singing Opera <grin>

 

[SleeplessFlaMan]

There are lotsa Swingers in Tampa Bay!

I am surprised you haven't out of curiosity gone to one in Miami! They can be fun!

 

[M's girl]

looks something like this?

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/he/photo/movie_pix/oscars/77th_academy_awards_red_carpet_arrivals_photos/oprah_winfrey/oscars3.jpg

I know, I know.... But you know? This is Oprah!!! She's better known than Bush! I thought it was funny her name was spelled the wrong way
Oh yeah and agreed; the picture is great. If only she knew she was the star in a thread on Lit

 

[jeninflorida]

I know, I know.... But you know? This is Oprah!!! She's better known than Bush! I thought it was funny her name was spelled the wrong way
Oh yeah and agreed; the picture is great. If only she knew she was the star in a thread on Lit

well, to be honest, i'm not an Oprah fan....

 

[Monazwx]

I am surprised you haven't out of curiosity gone to one in Miami! They can be fun!

Details, details . . .

Anyway, I wonder how that lady reverend is doing now that she's been on the show and admitted to being a swinger. The congregation must have loved that.

 

[jeninflorida]

anyway, so how does one react when his or her lover/spouse talks about adding a 3rd or a couple?

 

[M's girl]

well, to be honest, i'm not an Oprah fan....

I am. She has often done shows on relationship/sex issues, sometimes based on survey-results. I like them. The only thing that bothers me a bit is the whole puritan mentality (of not only Oprah) in the US when things are in public.
The world's largest porn industry and so many hang ups about sex. It's funny.

But that was not your question. How would I react? I would not like it one bit. In our fantasies we can do them (threesomes, moresomes) but in real life I'm a handful as it is now. Why in the world would he need anybody else to satisfy? Keeping me satisfied is a full time job as it is and I'm not good at sharing in that area.

Most men find the idea exilarating. Yummie, a second woman to play with. Oh, no, wait! She wants another man?! Now thát is out of the question!

 

[snooper]

... This is Oprah!!! She's better known than Bush! ...

Oprah??? Does she have another name? In any case, I doubt she is more famous than Kate Bush; certainly I've never heard of her.

 

[jeninflorida]

I am. She has often done shows on relationship/sex issues, sometimes based on survey-results. I like them. The only thing that bothers me a bit is the whole puritan mentality (of not only Oprah) in the US when things are in public.
The world's largest porn industry and so many hang ups about sex. It's funny.

But that was not your question. How would I react? I would not like it one bit. In our fantasies we can do them (threesomes, moresomes) but in real life I'm a handful as it is now. Why in the world would he need anybody else to satisfy? Keeping me satisfied is a full time job as it is and I'm not good at sharing in that area.

Most men find the idea exilarating. Yummie, a second woman to play with. Oh, no, wait! She wants another man?! Now thát is out of the question!

I think that some 30 to 40% of men do think about a mfm with the wife. what if the husband knows he's quick and wants the wife to have more? we all know that women take longer to reach orgasm, so lets say that her husband is a sensative and attentative to her needs. and what about metrosexual men? but i think a large % of metro are bi curious.

 

[jeninflorida]

how many of your neighbors, swing or share?

 

[M's girl]

......what if the husband knows he's quick and wants the wife to have more? we all know that women take longer to reach orgasm, so lets say that her husband is a sensative and attentative to her needs.

I guess for a story anything goes. But you also asked "how does one react when asked.." etc.

So that's what my reaction would be. And if he was supposed to be considerate, which you use as a reason for him to suggest it in the first place, then it would tick me off even more. I would not call that considerate. Because if he cares about my pleasure enough he makes sure he listens to my body and finds all the ways there are to give me a pleasurable time, orgasm or not and how ever long it takes! There is no such thing as a time limit on sex and caring for each other.

Putting that responsabilty in some other man's (uhm) hand... is making him a lousy fuck in my book. So there you go. Now, that helped, didn't it?

 

[jeninflorida]

I guess for a story anything goes. But you also asked "how does one react when asked.." etc.

So that's what my reaction would be. And if he was supposed to be considerate, which you use as a reason for him to suggest it in the first place, then it would tick me off even more. I would not call that considerate. Because if he cares about my pleasure enough he makes sure he listens to my body and finds all the ways there are to give me a pleasurable time, orgasm or not and how ever long it takes! There is no such thing as a time limit on sex and caring for each other.

Putting that responsabilty in some other man's (uhm) hand... is making him a lousy fuck in my book. So there you go. Now, that helped, didn't it?

well with so many people having affairs, to open things up would be the best choice...that is if the marriage is worth saving. so many people swing for the wrong reasons.