Opera, anyone?

[Seattle Zack]

For the last three years or so, I've had a semi-irregular ongoing Scrabble game with a comely waitress from one of my local watering holes.

Aside from serving me drinks, she also works at a used bookstore as a buyer and she's an aspiring writer (which, needless, to say, means that I'm incredibley attracted to her ... and, I should mention, she's 23. Double down, as one might say at the blackjack table).

Anyway, we have a friendly/antagonistic Scrabble game that we play once or twice a month ... normally the stakes are rather inconsequential, but this last game was a little different.

Now, understand, I never lose at Scrabble. Never. As someone who's sold more than thirty crosswords, competed in crossowrd tournaments, this is my game. In the three years we've been doing this, she's only won four times.

The stakes for this last game seemed rather high but, seeing the fire in her eye, I accepted without a second thought. Things were going fine, I had a comfortable 20 point lead into the latter third of the game. I was actually envisioning my winnings, watching the Sonics against the Kings at Key Arena, when the unthinkable happened.

EMBLAZON

Double letter on the M, across a double word score. 42 points (she used a blank for the B). Played off my E at HEMP, no less. All seven tiles, 50 point bonus. Jesus fucking Christ. 92 points. I never recovered.

So now, as my part of the bargain, I have to take her to go see Carmen, which is showing at the Opera House this month.

In my three and a half decades on this planet, I've managed to avoid opera (forgive me, Perdita). Having seen a movie version of the story on a cable pay channel some years ago, I'm aware that it involves a slutty seductress who entices a rich and powerful general, then dumps him for the studly matador.

How bad can it be? Who knows, I might actually enjoy it. If nothing else, I figure I can drink heavily at the intermission (of which there are two -- Good Lord, the damn thing's nearly three and a half hours long). Dacia has also agreed to wear her leather skirt and stockings, I'll wear my biker jacket, so at least we won't blend in with the wine-and-cheese crowd.

Give an uncultured lout like me some pointers ... I can give you the odds to a tenth of a percentile on a four-card flush draw, but I'm out of my element here. Anyone got any tips for opera? I've read about these opera glasses -- are sport binoculars necessary, or is that a no-no? I guess there's some sort of translation printed in the program -- will I even understand what the hell is going on? She's quite excited about going (and she's never been to an opera, either) so I'd like to make this whole thing as enjoyable as possible for her. Any and all suggestions are welcome, at this point.

 

[wishfulthinking]

My only pointer has nothing to do with opera. Perdita could definitely handle that better than me.

Lose more often!

If 'losing' can be described as going out with a woman you seem attracted to both physically and mentally, and who seems to return that interest.

Hell, you should have asked her out before this! That way you wouldn't have got stuck with the Opera

 

[snooper]

... Anyone got any tips for opera? I've read about these opera glasses -- are sport binoculars necessary, or is that a no-no? I guess there's some sort of translation printed in the program -- will I even understand what the hell is going on? ...

Originally written in 4 acts, Bizet's Carmen was first produced at the Paris Opéra-Comique on 3rd march 1875 conducted by Deloffre. The cast included Galli-Marié, Chapuy, Lhérie, and Bouhy, if my memory isn't failing me. Mérimée wrote the original book.

The story is:
In Seville in 1820 Micaela (soprano) comes to find her friend Don José (tenor) who is a corporal under the command of Captain Zuniga (bass). But José is fascinated by the gipsy Carmen (mezzo soprano) and when she is arrested after a fight he contrives her release. He is in turn arrested, but refuses to desert when he is later released. However Carmen, though beginning to fall under the spell of the Toreador Escamillo (baritone) persuades José to to flee with her and a group of smugglers. Following them Escamillo fights with José who is led away from the now bored and scornful Carmen by Micaela. Outside the Seville bullring, Carmen promises herself to Escamillo if he wins, but the dishevelled José appears and stobs her, just as Escamillo emerges triumphantly with the crowd.

Pure soap opera story, but this one is simple and believable compared to most opera plots.

Advice?
Just lie back and enjoy the music. You will recognise some of it, the Habanera in Act 1 and the Toreador song at the very least.

How I envy you - I can still remember my very first visit to the opera - magic, pure magic.

... I can give you the odds to a tenth of a percentile on a four-card flush draw, ...

Just out of interest, what are they?

Edited to fix a few typos

 

[Linbido]

You have my empathy, Zack. But only partly. Like snooper just said, opera can probably be pure magic for some people. Me? I tried it a few times, even by my own initiative. But I never saw the point. Sure there was some great music, and skilled preformers, as well as good actors of the play it would had been if they didn't sing every bloody word. But I always found that the music collided with the story being told, I could not focus on both. Wnyway, there is no trick to it. Sit down, relax, and see if t works for you.

You might see the gates of heaven open on stage that night, but if you don't, just consider why you are there. You are there because what from your description seems like an absolutely lovely woman wants to go there with you. An attractive young woman in a leather skirt none the less. And one who is probably pretty damn proud of the way she got you there.

I recently sat my heavy pregnant ass through Return Of The King. Over three hours, no sissy intermissions, and snotty kids thowing popcorn at me from behind. If I can do that, you can't do worse.

Just remember why you're there, by the tone of your post, I'd say that one night of boredom (hey, you could always focus on her instead of the stage...just a thought) could be well worth it.

Stop whining and  i n d u l g e   h e r .


your councellor in culture and courtship,

 

[whispering_surrender]

As much as I hate to admit to watching "chick-flicks", the description given of the first opera experience in the movie Pretty Woman was pretty close. I can't find the exact quote but, it's something along the lines of...."People will either love it or hate it. If they love it, they will love it forever. If they don't, they can learn to appreciate it, but it will never become part of their souls." Let us know which you are, and as a last resort, daydream about what's under the leather skirt. *grin*

Whisp

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Zack,

Opera used to be a very eliteist upper crust affair. New york had two opera houses at one time. The elder establishment was for the old money and the new one was for the Neuva Rich. It was that snotty, even being J.P. Morgan couldn't get you in because you were just to gauche.

It's not the same any more, a lot of people from all walks of life enjoy Opera. Like it or hate it I suspect being there with someone you obviously like and respect will make it a good experience even if you decide you hate caremen

-Colly

 

[Guest]

 

[MathGirl]

Give an uncultured lout like me some pointers

Dear Z,
The proper equipment for opera-going is all-important. I suggest you follow my example, and you will not only enjoy the opera, the audience will respect you as a knowledgable and experienced opera-goer. Otherwise, you will be assumed to be the unwashed Philistine you really are.

Get one of those HUGE foam ten gallon hats and wear it at all times. Wear a big, foam "Were Number 1" glove on your right hand and stand, waving it madly in the air whenever applause is called for.

Helpfully,
MG

Ps. Showing up drunk to the opera is absolutely essential. Frequent pulls from a quart carried in your boot or your date's purse will help maintain your blood alcohol concentration between intermissions.
Pps. Since "Carmen" is a opera written by a Frenchie, about Spaniards, and sung in Italian, it is wise to smoke some weed during the performance. It prevents confusion.

 

[gauchecritic]

And don't forget to join in if you know the words.

Torreador now guaaaaaaard thee.

Beat out that rhythm-on-a-drum.

Gauche

 

[Guest]

Zack, I have no idea what you will experience. Yes, I love opera, all kinds in all languages at any length (the Ring cycle varies from 15 to 17 hours generally with the first act of the last opera about the length of Carmen).

Carmen, accent on the last syllable (it’s in French, not Italian), is a favorite opera and the heroine a role model since my youth. I’m too kind to men and have always wanted to treat them as casually as Carmencita did. The plot is simple, you need not even know it before going. The music is accessible to anyone. Even performed by less than great artists it can be enjoyable (i.e., foot tapping, hummable music)

In opera the point of singing instead of speaking is that the music provides the emotions and la vie intérieure that mere words or acting do not. All senses are heightened, all, trust me. There is nothing else like it in the arts. It still costs mucho dinero, even in the “cheap” seats but worth every penny for a good performance.

I’ll give you one personal experience of Carmen (love the name itself). It was only a few years ago in SF, and not even in the opera house as it was the year the place was finally being repaired and retrofitted after the ’89 quake, so I saw the production in the civic center auditorium. No matter. I was transported to the world of violent passions, love, jealousy and death.

The Russian Olga Borodina, was Carmen and the Argentinian Jose Cura, was Don Jose. Still the best tragic lovers I’ve yet seen and heard. Often enough Jose is a wimp (even Placido Domingo doesn’t give him balls in the very good film of it) and all the empathy is with the nympho, carefree and fickle gypsy gal. Borodina gave her a real tragic flaw, tragic per personal and universal viewpoint. She was her very self to the death. One might have imagined her hardscrabble childhood the way Olga sang her. One certainly could imagine her in bed, or against a wall. She was street-wise yet street-ignorant with no pretence whatsoever. She loved hard and lost hard, but she knew what she was doing to the end. She was utterly amoral, yet held an innocence, a purity in her core that if unknown to her, was exquisitely revealed to my ears in every note and breath she held. I loved that Carmen as if she were my sister, and I wept at her death for the first time in an opera house. The only other Carmen that can make me weep (every time) is Callas on CD (but Callas is a whole other essay for me).

Now to the big surprise of the evening (and to the opera world at large over the past few years). Señor Cura was the real thing, muy hombre (‘the real man’) and with the heart of a poet. He happens to be a hunk, strikingly handsome and buff (esp. for a tenor). Still, he played Jose at the end like a man who realizes that he sold his soul for the love of a woman who is now discarding him as if he were a one-night stand. His rage and emotional pain combined to make anyone empathize with his murderous act (stabbing the girl to death). I can no longer hear him in my head but I can still feel what I felt as he sung her name repeatedly, begging for his love and soul back. It may seem Jose sings longer in that moment than one might speak in real life, but the music very properly expresses his despair and battle against the inevitable tragedy. When Cura came out for his bows and ovation I gasped to see him standing, had imagined he had to have been carried off stage and to a psych ward.

I do hope your experience is enjoyable on every level, including the company of your friend. BTW, I love drinking Champagne at intermissions.

cheers, Carmen (out of the closet for you)

Check this out: Carmen

 

[sanchopanza]

Ah I see you are going to see Carmen. Personally I avoid opera at all costs and have seen but three operas in my short time on this earth. Besides everything Verdi composed, Carmen is my favourite opera (I love most of the music but haven't got the attention span for the rest of it). I couldn't say whether it is better to have an english translation flying past your eyes - 2 of the 3 operas I've endured were without. But Carmen is a good choice.

 

[Edward Teach]

Give an uncultured lout like me some pointers ... I can give you the odds to a tenth of a percentile on a four-card flush draw, but I'm out of my element here. Anyone got any tips for opera? I've read about these opera glasses -- are sport binoculars necessary, or is that a no-no? I guess there's some sort of translation printed in the program -- will I even understand what the hell is going on? She's quite excited about going (and she's never been to an opera, either) so I'd like to make this whole thing as enjoyable as possible for her. Any and all suggestions are welcome, at this point.

Zackman, clapping along with the music is encouraged but to be really cool you should hit the back of one hand against the palm of the other, all experienced opry goers do it that way. Stomping your feet to especially rousing songs, like "Wabash Cannonball," is acceptable too. The cool way to stomp is to alternate your feet.

You're gonna love Nashville.

Ed

ps - Make reservations at the Bluebird Cafe for afterward. Vince Gill and Brad Paisley hang out there a lot.

 

[Guest]

p.s. Zack, do not speak (even in whispers) during the performance. Do not open any candy wrappers (even Ricola). Do not cough, sneeze, wheeze or snore. Do not be late returning to your seat after the intermissions. Do not leave your seat for any reason, except not to return at all, during the performance. Do not lean forward in your seat (blocks the view for the person behind you). Do not hum along. Do not tap your feet. Do not bring a dog, even a seeing-eye type. Do not wear excessive cologne. Do not laugh at slightly comic stuff. Do not clap except at the end of the act. Do not stand unless everyone else is (blocks the view for the person behind you).

All these annoy me (and many others) and distract from the performance.

Perdita

 

[raphy]

I guess the 'Do not get out of your seat' rule doesn't apply if you're in the middle of a coughing/sneezing fit?

 

[Edward Teach]

p.s. Zack, do not speak (even in whispers) during the performance. Do not open any candy wrappers (even Ricola). Do not cough, sneeze, wheeze or snore. Do not be late returning to your seat after the intermissions. Do not leave your seat for any reason, except not to return at all, during the performance. Do not lean forward in your seat (blocks the view for the person behind you). Do not hum along. Do not tap your feet. Do not bring a dog, even a seeing-eye type. Do not wear excessive cologne. Do not laugh at slightly comic stuff. Do not clap except at the end of the act. Do not stand unless everyone else is (blocks the view for the person behind you).

All these annoy me (and many others) and distract from the performance.

Perdita

Perdita, I don't believe you ever even been to the Opry.

Ed

 

[MathGirl]

Dear Perdita,
Sounds damned dull if you can't do any of the fun stuff.
MG
Ps. Is it okay to smoke? Chew, if you bring your own cup?

 

[Guest]

I guess the 'Do not get out of your seat' rule doesn't apply if you're in the middle of a coughing/sneezing fit?

Right, but they should not come back to their seat until the next act. Most likely they would not be let back.

p.p.s. to Zack. Don't be late or you will not be let in once the performance begins, seriously.

 

[Guest]

Ps. Is it okay to smoke? Chew, if you bring your own cup?

Alas, no smoking (those were the days...) Nope, you must finish your Champagne or leave it on the bar.

Thanks for asking, Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Dear Perdita,
What if you drink too much champagne at intermission and either have to pee or throw up? Are you expected to do it quietly and in situ?
MG
Ps. Gotta go get me some opera, soon. As of tomorrow, I'll be able to legally show up drunk.
Pps. Just testing....... <i>italics!</i>
Ppps. Don't work. How do you get this stupid thing to throw italics.
Pppps. pp That ain't worth the trouble.Brrrrttttt Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
Pp, etc.: Only took me ABOUT TWO YEARS TO figure this OUT.........

 

[raphy]

Right, but they should not come back to their seat until the next act. Most likely they would not be let back.

p.p.s. to Zack. Don't be late or you will not be let in once the performance begins, seriously.

Harsh, but ultimately fair.

Raph, who's been known to sneeze over 100 times in succession once he gets started..

 

[Guest]

Maths, I can't see how one would drink enough during intermission (you'll wait a long time at the bar to order) to have to pee before an hour or so. However, don't in situ any human waste. Leave immediately. Sorry, decorum and regard for others is a must.

Do get some opera soon. I'll look for the big foam finger next I go.

Perdita

p.s. to Raph: I only arrived late once to an opera. A friend did too and badgered, harangued and shouted obscenities at the poor usher, but was not let in. She threw her ticket at him and left (regretting it later). She was my seat partner for ten years.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I don't like opera. I think she made a fool of herself in that show when she interviewed G2B, and I haven't watched the bitch's show since.

 

[MathGirl]

I don't like opera.

Hay, Swede,
And you say you have no racial bias.
Huh!
MG

 

[Edward Teach]

I don't like opera. I think she made a fool of herself in that show when she interviewed G2B, and I haven't watched the bitch's show since.

When was she on the Opry?

Ed

 

[snooper]

A plea

All in all, a fascinating thread. It really shows how polarised opinion is on opera.

Just one plea, to Seattle Zack, please do tell us how you enjoyed the performance.

As to the "afters", post that in the "erotic encounters" section.