Open Marriage?

[RoxyChick69]

Are there any couples here that have either an open marriage or a mutual agreement of any sort about sex outside of your marriage, or sex within your marriage (involving others) that works well for you? Care to tell us about it? What makes it work? What advice would you offer to couples who are exploring this possibility? What made you come to this decision? Was it part of your relationship from the beginning, or did your relationship evolve to this point?

I'm curious and would like to hear from others with some experience in this area. Thanks.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

I will bump this for you and add, I often wonder how many couples would like an open marriage but are afraid to bring it up.

 

[RoxyChick69]

I will bump this for you and add, I often wonder how many couples would like an open marriage but are afraid to bring it up.

Probably more than we realize, I'm guessing. Thanks for the bump Tawny T.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

Probably more than we realize, I'm guessing. Thanks for the bump Tawny T.

I think you are right and YW!

 

[RoxyChick69]

no one?

Hmmm...no responses. Either I've posted this in the wrong area or there aren't any open marriages here.

Or...no one wants to discuss it, which is respectable, too.

Guess this is a shameless bump to my own thread...not something I do very often. (hangs head in shame). ;0)

 

[Snip2]

Bump.............for the hell of it....

 

[mitchmo]

my marriage isn't open - still just a fantasy. I too am curious as to whether and how anyone is pulling this off

 

[Cinner]

I'm not married but I have a long-term relationship (13 years) that hasn't worked as well as I would have hoped. We're best friends, and he is a very kind and generous lover; but I want more intimacy.

I was quite surprised when I joined Lit and my Partner told me that he didn't mind if I participated fully here, although he understood the possibilities; and then he completely overwhelmed me when he told me that if finding someone outside our relationship was what it took to make me happy (and get me pregnant) then he wouldn't mind that either. He swore that it wouldn't change anything else between us in anyway.

I haven't acted on this yet because I need to see if he's sure. He's as affectionate and kind to me as he has always been and I don't want to hurt him; but I know that I am a better person when I feel fulfilled, and somehow, as much as I love him, and as much sex as there is (and I'm hearing from others here that that is unusual) there is something missing.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

i will say that I think open marriage is somewhat ideal
HOWEVER,,,,the problem lies within the other people invloved..there would have to be...HAVE TO BE...ground rules or an understanding etc with allllll in 100 % agrrement and cooperation
it fails because somene flips out and really wasnt secure with the idea to begin with

 

[m_storyman_x]

Hmmm...no responses. Either I've posted this in the wrong area or there aren't any open marriages here.

Or...no one wants to discuss it, which is respectable, too.

Guess this is a shameless bump to my own thread...not something I do very often. (hangs head in shame). ;0)

I think its a difficult thing to talk about.

I know i do not, I'm much too possessive of my women, but i know some that do. They make it work, but it is not often easy.

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

i would love to have this,,have tried and people chicken shitted out

 

[m_storyman_x]

i will say that I think open marriage is somewhat ideal
HOWEVER,,,,the problem lies within the other people invloved..there would have to be...HAVE TO BE...ground rules or an understanding etc with allllll in 100 % agrrement and cooperation
it fails because somene flips out and really wasnt secure with the idea to begin with

I have been involved with someone who does have an open marriage and i think that one of the keys is the ground rules. the other though is to limit the emotional investment in the out of relationship partners. For women in particular, emotions are a part of the sexual experience. If you dont have the connection, the sex isnt as good, if it is too deep, then it can cause problems.

On the guy's side of it, you have to choose partners that you can feel something for, but be careful to NOT get involved with a woman that wants to take all of you from the committed relationship.

If your going to do it...the best it so restrict it to married partners from what i can tell.

 

[Riles]

Mr. Riles and I occasionally 'play' with other couples - we have now for almost 3 years I guess. I'm not sure that's what you call "open" - we don't give carte blanche to go play with whomever, it has to be as a couple and it has to be previously discussed...no wicks are getting dipped till we've had a talk, that's a BIG NO NO!

So far it works for us. BUT, it means there's no room for jealousy! We've seen a few couples fall out of our circle because one or the other started regretting their choices. And that's got to be understood from the get go - if one partner wants to call it quits, there can be no resistance from the other.

I'll say this, it's not for everyone, and it's not as 'hot' as people like to think. It has it's moments, but I'd say that typically the idea is a lot more appealing than the doing considering how much WORK it requires.

 

[switchbitch]

Are there any couples here that have either an open marriage or a mutual agreement of any sort about sex outside of your marriage, or sex within your marriage (involving others) that works well for you? Care to tell us about it? What makes it work? What advice would you offer to couples who are exploring this possibility? What made you come to this decision? Was it part of your relationship from the beginning, or did your relationship evolve to this point?

I'm curious and would like to hear from others with some experience in this area. Thanks.

hi, as it says in my profile I am in an open marriage. And yes it works very well for us. Our marriage was chosen to be open from the very beginning. I have never been particularly fond of monogamy in any form. And while it took time for subby hubby to understand my point of view and actually dive in and revel in it (while we were just dating) long before we married he found that not only could he live with my proclivities but enjoy them himself as well. Honesty is the most important part of making a relationship like this work. And it is really important to talk to each other with no holds barred about how you really feel. It's also important to discuss things like how you would feel if one partner was getting more outside sex than the other. Some couples this can lead to jealousy and a feeling of betrayal or uncertainty. I wish you joy if it is something you are going to attempt, it is not an easy thing for many couples but for us it is wonderful!

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

I have been involved with someone who does have an open marriage and i think that one of the keys is the ground rules. the other though is to limit the emotional investment in the out of relationship partners. For women in particular, emotions are a part of the sexual experience. If you dont have the connection, the sex isnt as good, if it is too deep, then it can cause problems.

On the guy's side of it, you have to choose partners that you can feel something for, but be careful to NOT get involved with a woman that wants to take all of you from the committed relationship.

If your going to do it...the best it so restrict it to married partners from what i can tell.

i have to politely disagree with the women having emotions to sex part
ok...im sure some women and even MOST do this
i do NOT have to
i have had DAMN AMAZING sex with emotional ties and without
i can seperate the two
sex can be JUST SEX
no more no less
in my case,,,the guy claimed he wanted this,,,and when i agreed happily,,,,he ran like a weasel

 

[RUlookingup]

I have heard that the fantasy can be much more potent than the reality.