online humiliation

[seroton]

hi, just wanted to get an opinion or some advice, as to wether you believe that it is possible to truley playfully humiliate and tease a willing person online.

what can be used to make them feel dirty, while on thee own?

any suggestions, comments would be appriecated

thanks

 

[FurryFury]

Yes it's possible.

I don't have any ideas right now for you because I'm creatively challenged at the moment.

I'd say it's far better and easier in RT but if that isn't desirable or possible for some reason, I absolutely believe one can do it online.

I'd be careful though. One persons playful humiliation can be another's emotional devastation. Prior communication could help pin point what both considered playful and hot.

Good luck,

Fury

 

[myinnerslut]

you can do it. as Fury said it sooo much easier when your with someone, but all you have to do is play on thier "weaknesses". if dirty talk embarresses them, use dirty talk or have them refer to themselves using crude terms.

note: when i say play on thier weaknesses i dont mean to actually harm them in any way

 

[MasterPhoenix]

hi, just wanted to get an opinion or some advice, as to wether you believe that it is possible to truley playfully humiliate and tease a willing person online.

what can be used to make them feel dirty, while on thee own?

any suggestions, comments would be appriecated

thanks

Yes, it can be done. Just use your imagination.

 

[seroton]

hello again, thank you for your input, i complety agree, its far easier to achieve face to face. there is nothing very erotic to me about making someone blush!!!!

she adores being called names and more so, me asking her to use crude words to describe what she is doing. id also demand her to masterbate in certain ways thinking about certain things and getting her to describe to me what she did next time... i know these will make her feel a little 'naughty', which works for her and me.

but i was just thinking if there were ways i hadnt thought about.



cheers for your responses

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I call mine My bitch, My whore, My slut... and I make her call herself those things too...

But there is oh so much more... if you haven't done it, making her beg for orgasm is quite fun.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I call mine My bitch, My whore, My slut... and I make her call herself those things too...

But there is oh so much more... if you haven't done it, making her beg for orgasm is quite fun.

*grins* these things are meant to humiliate me, Sir?? hmmm...actually, in the beginning they did, now however, i love them, all! sorry for the small hijack

 

[wickedlady31]

weakness

hi, just wanted to get an opinion or some advice, as to wether you believe that it is possible to truley playfully humiliate and tease a willing person online.

what can be used to make them feel dirty, while on thee own?

any suggestions, comments would be appriecated

thanks

I don't really think it is possible. IT all depends on the willingness of the victim. To truely humiliate someone...you must first earn their trust. They have to open up to you...confess perhaps a vulnerability. For you, it is important to take notes but not use the information right away....say you meet a woman that appears confident online in these forums..but once you begin an email friendship with her, she opens up to you some of her vulnerabilities...such as self image. She is self conscious about her weight..despite her pics..she feels she could lose a few pounds....
Once the cyber role play kicks in....and she is the sub....get a picture from her...request or demand. Use that pic whilst humilating in your online game. Say she is in a compromising position of perhaps being bound in a sex swing. Your character leaves her suspended there for hours....naked and alone. You return with a buddy and he points out she is chubby and you poke at her chub and force her to fast for a day.....calling her pig....whale....
It is a stretch but I think once you truely get to know your subject.....only then...can you make her vulnerable!

 

[myinnerslut]

I don't really think it is possible. IT all depends on the willingness of the victim. To truely humiliate someone...you must first earn their trust. They have to open up to you...confess perhaps a vulnerability. For you, it is important to take notes but not use the information right away....say you meet a woman that appears confident online in these forums..but once you begin an email friendship with her, she opens up to you some of her vulnerabilities...such as self image. She is self conscious about her weight..despite her pics..she feels she could lose a few pounds....
Once the cyber role play kicks in....and she is the sub....get a picture from her...request or demand. Use that pic whilst humilating in your online game. Say she is in a compromising position of perhaps being bound in a sex swing. Your character leaves her suspended there for hours....naked and alone. You return with a buddy and he points out she is chubby and you poke at her chub and force her to fast for a day.....calling her pig....whale....
It is a stretch but I think once you truely get to know your subject.....only then...can you make her vulnerable!

i just want to point out that you need to be careful when doing humiliation, and know the person so you dont mentslly damage them. for example, while the above idea may work with one person, with me it may very well send me into the hospital. i have a history of eating disorders and doing this would be very bad for my mental state. also you have to not crosee the line between humiliation and just lan mean.

 

[Pure]

assuming there is such a line

 

[Pure]

possible to humiliate online?

i think yes. in fact the scene described by wicked, up to the sex swing part is easily carried out on line. (once you know the person).

to have said subject make remarks on their weight; for them to 'hear' (see) and respond to others' remarks. three way chat.

all online stuff, without video, has a problem with compliance: it's easy to tell someone to spit on the floor and lick it up, and for them to say "i'll do it" and "there i've done it." i see no way around this unless a third party were present with the 'victim' to verify.

 

[wickedlady31]

hey

i think yes. in fact the scene described by wicked, up to the sex swing part is easily carried out on line. (once you know the person).

to have said subject make remarks on their weight; for them to 'hear' (see) and respond to others' remarks. three way chat.

all online stuff, without video, has a problem with compliance: it's easy to tell someone to spit on the floor and lick it up, and for them to say "i'll do it" and "there i've done it." i see no way around this unless a third party were present with the 'victim' to verify.

We need to connect....IM me

 

[wickedlady31]

one must know

i just want to point out that you need to be careful when doing humiliation, and know the person so you dont mentslly damage them. for example, while the above idea may work with one person, with me it may very well send me into the hospital. i have a history of eating disorders and doing this would be very bad for my mental state. also you have to not crosee the line between humiliation and just lan mean.

I emphasise the part that the two parties must get to know one another. True domination and humiliation, in my book, should have no boundries. If someone is so vulnerable that they will be hospitalised from the mental abuse then perhaps they shouldn't set themselves up for such 'damage.'

 

[myinnerslut]

I emphasise the part that the two parties must get to know one another. True domination and humiliation, in my book, should have no boundries. If someone is so vulnerable that they will be hospitalised from the mental abuse then perhaps they shouldn't set themselves up for such 'damage.'

personally, i DONT "set myself up for such damage"... wieght related things are on my list of hard limits due to my past experiences with eating disorders stemming from the fact that i was (am) bipolar. unfortunatly, when you start working with someone, you cant be working with a perfectly clean slate... that person has a history, and whether it affects thier play or not is different for each and every individual.

i was just pointing out in my prevous post that you need to know what your sub can take and what they cant. to me (and i stress, to me, everyone has different opionions) the idea that a sub should have no mental boundries is just as silly as someone telling me that safewords are completly unnecesar becuase subs have no physical boundries. people have boundries. they may be far from the surface and very small, but people have them. it part of what makes people people, IMO.


and "true" domination, does not exist as a constant for d/s relationships.

 

[Pure]

the question of limits, stating them, following them, is not really the main issue of the thread. it's been covered many times in other threads.
----

one question that comes to mind is that generally it's said to be hard to dominate someone online (without a prior established, RL connection). that's because 1) talk is cheap, and 2) talk may be sham. 1) I talk of whipping you, you type "ouch"; 2)I tell you to stroke yourself, you say you are doing it, etc (and you're not). I tell you to avoid orgasms, and you say, falsely that you are.

why would online humiliation be any easier? maybe because one can probably hone in on things that are genuinely humiliating [for the 'bottom'] to say.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I don't really think it is possible. IT all depends on the willingness of the victim. To truely humiliate someone...you must first earn their trust. They have to open up to you...confess perhaps a vulnerability. For you, it is important to take notes but not use the information right away....say you meet a woman that appears confident online in these forums..but once you begin an email friendship with her, she opens up to you some of her vulnerabilities...such as self image. She is self conscious about her weight..despite her pics..she feels she could lose a few pounds....
Once the cyber role play kicks in....and she is the sub....get a picture from her...request or demand. Use that pic whilst humilating in your online game. Say she is in a compromising position of perhaps being bound in a sex swing. Your character leaves her suspended there for hours....naked and alone. You return with a buddy and he points out she is chubby and you poke at her chub and force her to fast for a day.....calling her pig....whale....
It is a stretch but I think once you truely get to know your subject.....only then...can you make her vulnerable!

wow..different strokes for different folks but this seems alot more emotional damaging than just some 'fun' humiliation. not to mention leaving her suspended for hours?? there is a difference between humiliating someone and completely causing emotional devestation, i know, for me anyway, if Master were to 'humiliate' me by poking fun of the fact that i'm fat which is something i'm already self conscience about..i'd lose alot of respect and trust in Him....this is, of course, my opinion.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

the question of limits, stating them, following them, is not really the main issue of the thread. it's been covered many times in other threads.
----

one question that comes to mind is that generally it's said to be hard to dominate someone online (without a prior established, RL connection). that's because 1) talk is cheap, and 2) talk may be sham. 1) I talk of whipping you, you type "ouch"; 2)I tell you to stroke yourself, you say you are doing it, etc (and you're not). I tell you to avoid orgasms, and you say, falsely that you are.

why would online humiliation be any easier? maybe because one can probably hone in on things that are genuinely humiliating [for the 'botton'] to say.

i've been in an online relationship for 3 years with my Dom..we just recently met in September for the first time. i can HONESTLY say i have never lied to Him about doing the things He's asked of me, the one time that i 'came' without His permission, without Him anywhere around to know, i told Him i had done it. i could have gotten away with it, but i didn't. yes, there are people out there who would lie and that does make it a lot harder for this kind of thing that the OP'er was saying. it's all about trust.

 

[Kailey_86]

wow..different strokes for different folks but this seems alot more emotional damaging than just some 'fun' humiliation. not to mention leaving her suspended for hours?? there is a difference between humiliating someone and completely causing emotional devestation, i know, for me anyway, if Master were to 'humiliate' me by poking fun of the fact that i'm fat which is something i'm already self conscience about..i'd lose alot of respect and trust in Him....this is, of course, my opinion.

i feel the same way. If my Dom poked at my fat, i would lose ALL trust in Him. i would be furious and completely devastated.

i have played around with humiliation with Doms online and it worked for the most part. One day i had to go to class so He told me to have orgasms in several locations in public (on the bus, in the bathroom, etc). He said that with every orgasm i would write a letter on my pussy. S-L-U-T. i couldn't do it because i didn't trust Him enough not to mention the fact that i just don't cum that easily. Another guy had me stuff my panties in my mouth while masturbating. This was definately humiliating. A picture would show You that the sub is actually doing it. He never asked me for one but i DID do it. Yuck!

 

[FurryFury]

My opinion is if you don't have trust you don't have anything. I personally won't do that sort of camera stuff. It goes against my nature and my caution for my professional life. If you believe in my sincere desire and trust me great. If not we are done here, thank you, move along.

Oh and talking about me being fat, that is my part. Your part is to reassure me damn it.

Fury

 

[the captians wench]

My opinion is if you don't have trust you don't have anything. I personally won't do that sort of camera stuff. It goes against my nature and my caution for my professional life. If you believe in my sincere desire and trust me great. If not we are done here, thank you, move along.

Oh and talking about me being fat, that is my part. Your part is to reassure me damn it.
Fury

hehehehe

how true! I put enough pressure on myself in how I look, I don't need anyone else doing any more damage than I do to myself.

But Master and my friends have always been very good at boosting my self esteem.

 

[shy slave]

i think yes. in fact the scene described by wicked, up to the sex swing part is easily carried out on line. (once you know the person).

to have said subject make remarks on their weight; for them to 'hear' (see) and respond to others' remarks. three way chat.

all online stuff, without video, has a problem with compliance: it's easy to tell someone to spit on the floor and lick it up, and for them to say "i'll do it" and "there i've done it." i see no way around this unless a third party were present with the 'victim' to verify.

I have said this time and again.

Personally there is a high chance I would lie.

He knows that, I have been honest and upfront about it, yet when I dare say such things in a post I am often told how disrespectful I am.

It is not disrespect, it is non-compliance over something I have no interest in doing and he has no way of knowing if I actually achieved it. As part of my needs I want him to see the results of my doing something he has asked for.

Because I have been honest about the potential of my lying to him he does not choose to exert control over me in this way.

I do not consider it 'topping from the bottom' I consider it a part of an honest relationship.

He does not ask me to cum on command, inflict pain on myself, nor does he micro-manage me from a distance. All of which he could do.

The downside is when he asks me to do someting, I know he means it. I know it has a specific purpose and he has a reason other than 'because he says so' for stating he wants it to happen.

If I then lied then, yes, it would be disrespectful.

He does not do online or any other form of humiliation.
When I first became aware of BDSM and D/s it was something I really wanted to happen and I was very interested in meeting someone who would/could do this.

However, reality is different. I agree with all the posters who have said it can leave psychological damage without the person doing the humiliation being aware of it.
Anyone who has issues they struggle with may understand my view that, in general, they are not something we parade in public. Therefore if something is said that affects us at a deeper level we may not say how it has affected us. Initiallly we may not realise they extent of its' affect until days/months/years later.

No-one can crawl completely inside another persons mind.

I now see verbal humiliation in the same way as some people view breath control ~ A place never to go no matter what (personally the times he has used breath control, I have found it wonderful).

In another thread it was said that subs are fragile. To cope with humiliation, online or not, you cannot be fragile. You need to be sure in your own mind of who you are and what you like about yourself. All of that needs to be seperate from an inner understanding of a desire and wish to be a pyl.

 

[FurryFury]

I respect you and your honesty Shy.

Thanks for sharing that with us.

Fury

 

[the captians wench]

I think most people think like shy. One very obvious rule we have set for me is that I am not allowd to eat chicken nuggets or french fries. This was set in an effort to control my bad eating habbits. For the most part I don't have a problem with this anymore (and really don't like the taste of either), but some times when the oil has just been changed they look so good I feel a bit weak and start pouting and whining at the crew. A few of them that know the back ground to it will ask me "why don't you just lie? How would he ever know? Or just don't tell him." Quite honestly there is something in me that makes me feel like I must tell on myself.

You see children and teens do this as well. Some of them you can give a rule, and when they break it they will tell you and face punishment. Others have the ability to just not tell, or even lie about it. I remember being a teen and being asked to do things by my friends with the whole "your mom will never know" promise. I could never do it.

I think it's that thing inside of me that wants so badly to be aproved of, to be the "good girl" I've always been told I should be. yup more of the conditioning by parents thing. Not saying that shy or anyone else that would lie is bad, far from it. I think that it speaks volumes that you (shy) are able to admit that you would lie and there for are not put in the situation where you would.

 

[FurryFury]

As a teen I could lie and felt NO guilt. Why? Because expectations were not reasonable IMO. Because the power people were trying to exert over me was NOT something I agreed to. There are STILL plenty of things those people don't know about me or what I did that they have no need to know about.

My early childhood caregivers taught me, through various means how to lie, and lie well. It is my rejection of such dishonesty, that is the reason I refuse to lie to anyone important to me and to whom I do give power, of my own free will, in my life now.

I like to operate, after getting to know someone establishing trust with them,and they me, on faith. I'm good at doing that after limits of both parties have been discussed and established. If someone needs "proof" that I am female, that doesn't work for me. I don't ask them for proof of their sexual plumbing. If they need proof that I did X, that also doesn't work for me. Such distrusting souls have IMO likely either been deeply damaged be dishonest people before and/or are deeply dishonest themselves and projecting that on another. (Much as the unfaithful person constantly expect to be cheating on.)

It sound to me as if Shy is be very honest in saying she will lie. Her partner is clear about that and they do very well together doing what they do.

OTOH, Captain's Wench is saying she can't lie. That's fine too IMO as long as she and her partner are clear and happy with that.

I'm a third type. I will say I can lie and lie very well but I choose not to. If I did, the whole thing wouldn't be worthwhile for me or my partner. That works for us.

IMO, if you like to cam or take pictures for any reason, even to prove to your partner that you are doing as asked that is fine too as long as that is what you both want.

It's all good.

If you are doing something you don't want to do, truly, because you feel coerced. If you are possibly endangering your life, career, the happiness of the people important to you and/or your marriage, with those actions, then it's not so okay in my view.

I don't know if I'm rambling here to where it doesn't make sense anymore. I'm starting to feel that way. LOL.

Fury

 

[Rox_shybutcurious]

I don't know if I'm rambling here to where it doesn't make sense anymore. I'm starting to feel that way. LOL.

Fury

You, as always, are making complete sense Fury. When the need to avoid out of proportion reactions is present, the skills to make that happen become almost ingrained. But, as you say, if carried over to a relationship how can the true building blocks of faith and trust be maintained.

I do have to say I’m probably closer to Shy on this though that I would prefer to not be placed in a position of temptation. Not that I might not be willing to attempt some task, but if something interfered with accomplishing it I’m afraid I would fall back on pre-established habits. I'd like to think I'd have the fortitude to follow Captains Wench's example, but never having been truly tested on this I just don't know. The reluctance to disappoint and the fear of affection being withdrawn can be a very powerful motivator.

Rox.