One Night Stand

[NestleSnipes]

Hello Everyone,

My question to the community is "How does a woman find a quality and safe partner for a one night stand?"

Some of you may remember Ginger from her Am Pic thread or her recent post about Roller Derby. Some of you also might remember that we're in a long distant open relationship. She and I have talked and she wants to find someone she can experience with no strings attached and preferably someone she doesn't know.

She just doesn't know how to go about that safely.

I'm truly looking for advice from anyone who's had a safe and successful experience and what might be the best way to go about it.

Thanks in advance to those who reply,
Nestle

 

[bone251]

Call me I am safe. I even asked myself for you.

Or there is this thing called escort boards. A little community that you can check out each other and even get references about each other. There tends to be a white envelope on the dresser after the date. Pretty safe. And when the date is over it is over.

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

Hello Everyone,

My question to the community is "How does a woman find a quality and safe partner for a one night stand?"

Some of you may remember Ginger from her Am Pic thread or her recent post about Roller Derby. Some of you also might remember that we're in a long distant open relationship. She and I have talked and she wants to find someone she can experience with no strings attached and preferably someone she doesn't know.

She just doesn't know how to go about that safely.

I'm truly looking for advice from anyone who's had a safe and successful experience and what might be the best way to go about it.

Thanks in advance to those who reply,
Nestle

Hi NS -
This really is a tough one... There is truly no way to be sure of being 100% safe with a one night stand, in my opinion. What I might suggest, as an alternative, is finding a couple (preferably married) who want to invite a 3rd person in for fun. This isn't easy, either, but it's easier for women to do then men so there is hope. A married couple can offer a MUCH lower risk of disease, though precautions should still be taken... Also, she could probably find a couple who is willing to respect her boundaries if she only wanted to play with one of the partners. Added bonus, of course, is that most married couples come with absolutely no strings attached. I recommend them highly (voice of experience, can you hear it? ). Not much in the way of advice towards a one night stand, but hope it helps work out your big picture o' Pleasure

 

[a75]

Hello Everyone,

My question to the community is "How does a woman find a quality and safe partner for a one night stand?"
(...)
I'm truly looking for advice from anyone who's had a safe and successful experience and what might be the best way to go about it.

What's the meaning of safety? If you mean a person who doesn't carry STD's, you cannot know it a priori in a one night stand; just wish your woman will be lucky and she 'll use the appropriate protection.

But I think that in your case, safety and success also mean that Ginger's one night lover will not harm her, or he won't become pushy trying for a second or third time. Actually you may never know. Going to bed with a complete stranger can preserve anonymity, but bad things may happen. On the other hand, if she goes to bed with someone she already knows, there 's always the possibility that he asks for it again and again in the future.

In my opinion, Pleasure_Fan has suggested the best alternative. Let her find an interesting couple who search for a woman (it depends on her if she 'll play with both or just the husband) and build some kind of permanent relationship with them.

 

[Experiencedguy]

Wow -- what a loaded question. It has been a long time since I have looked for a one night stand, and the rules are all different today. But, here is what to avoid: Craigs List, any person or business in the yellow pages, any body or thing on the internet, bars and nightclubs. Best referral: Friends. If she has no friends she can discuss this at home, perhaps someone from a short distance away?? They are out there, but nowadays, everyone is at risk from 'casual' sex -- not just the potential of disease, but also, robbery, blackmail, physical, and also a police sting. I would advise her to be patient, safe, and masturbate until the right person shows up.

 

[thirty]

ONS never works for me: I don't know why but I cannot get up at first night with a 'new' girl.

 

[subwannabe]

There is no way to be totally safe given these circumstances. You're either lucky or you're not. Of course there are several ways to decrease the risk but there will always still be risk. No matter what anyone else says who has had a "successful" and "safe" one night stand, this doesn't mean that the same results will happen to you.

 

[AdamH12]

Hi NS -
This really is a tough one... There is truly no way to be sure of being 100% safe with a one night stand, in my opinion. What I might suggest, as an alternative, is finding a couple (preferably married) who want to invite a 3rd person in for fun. This isn't easy, either, but it's easier for women to do then men so there is hope. A married couple can offer a MUCH lower risk of disease, though precautions should still be taken... Also, she could probably find a couple who is willing to respect her boundaries if she only wanted to play with one of the partners. Added bonus, of course, is that most married couples come with absolutely no strings attached. I recommend them highly (voice of experience, can you hear it? ). Not much in the way of advice towards a one night stand, but hope it helps work out your big picture o' Pleasure

Sorry to say but i recently read that couples are more likely to have STIs etc these days as they are experimenting a lot more and more freely.

 

[jordansgirl74]

I am a female in an open long distance relationship as well. If you mean "safe" as in terms of STD's, well...the answer is obvious.

So, I'm going to go with safe from the guy. I have had many a ONS and there are a few rules:

1. Never give them your last name, FB page, home address, etc.
2. Find him at a bar...VERY easy to do for ANY female, seriously....a girl can get laid any night of the week no matter what she looks like. I feel sorry for the men. LOL
3. I've used Craigslist, I see nothing wrong in it, but you always meet in public first and bottom line....TRUST your gut.
4. Use a hotel room, or car, or public.....going back to his home is scary and never bring him back to your home. Yes, I have gone to his home before, but only after he was vouched by a friend that knew us both. (ie....meet a guy at a bar that I go to, I know the bartender, he knows me and he knows him, he gives me the green light and I will go to his house. If he gives the red light, I pick someone else)

I think that's about it, I'll add more if I think of any more.

The hardest part of ONS is acutally finding (and good luck with this) a guy who actually does care about satisfying the woman and not just out for his own nut. I've been disappointed SOOO many times, it's ridiculous.

T

 

[Guest]

stranger/danger

deleted

 

[BongoGal]

I've had a handful of one night stands, but only one was with someone I'd call a stranger. I was out of town, stranded over night at an airport, and I decided that it would a whole lot more fun to get laid than to sit in my free hotel room watching cable. I went on the prowl to an airport bar and found a young man (21, I think...I was 32) who I determined was as safe as could be. He was alone, drinking at the bar, definitely not a guy who seemed to be looking for a one night stand. I sat near him and started chatting. He seemed like a nice guy, brainy and shy, and stuck at the airport for the same reason as I. I turned on the flirtiness, and a drink or two later, I suggested that he was wasting his free hotel room sitting at the bar and that we should head there instead. After a wobbly walk to his room, we went in, and I proceeded to take charge and practically attacked the young fellow and gave him a Penthouse Forum memory to last a lifetime. After lots and lots of fun, we cooled off, and he fell asleep. I quietly got dressed and went to my room to sleep. I felt slutty but shame-free and more than satisfied. He never even learned my name. (I saw his name on a credit card, and since then I found him on Facebook. No, no, no, I won't be 'friending' him.) I guess my advice would be to find a mild-mannered or even nerdy guy who has a room of his own and then take control of the situation.

 

[quimsical]

BongoGal, your story is awesome.

Mine was a Halloween adventure in New Orleans (literally, *best* Halloween ever). I had on a great costume (I was mostly shirtless) and hooked up with a sexy woman who was also a doctor. Yes, I'll probably never experience something similar, because *even before* we kissed, we talked about safe sex. It was *that obvious* what we both wanted.

I suppose we could have gone out together more seriously later, but she lived far away and I'm not into long distances.

The sex was outstanding. And copious. I put the experience away in my spank chest, and break it out every now and then