Once upon a time there was a couple. They came to a point in their marriage when things were very rough. It was nobody’s fault really. They both could have done things differently.
The woman started going to a nearby bar. A busy, social place where all sorts of folks would come and go and hang out and talk about all sorts of things. She had found a fun place where she could relax in ways she hadn’t in a long time. She also found a special friend. She’d sit on his lap and flirt and they’d laugh. And they talked about all sorts of things in a way she hadn’t ever.
She didn’t mention her new friend(s) to her husband. It felt like a much needed space just for her.
The couple ended up separated and then reuniting. She continued to see her friends at the bar. He realized it and asked her about it so she told him some things in the spirit of openness though she didn’t tell him which bar it was telling him she wanted her privacy there.
Well, she told him enough that he figured it out anyway and went there himself and watched. He saw who her friends were and how she was different off by herself. He ended up liking the place and going back there himself even though in the beginning he swore he would leave her alone with her friends at the bar. In the spirit of making her marriage work she took this as a new kind of openness that needed to be worked into their relationship.
Of course stories are not always simple and there are many more parts to this one. The short of it is she decided to leave him have they had been back together for a couple of months. It was a very painful situation for both of them but it had come to that point.
So he kept going to the bar and so did she. She hung with her friends and he made some of his own. He also talked to hers (casually) once in a while, knowing they were her friends. Some of them didn’t even know that he was her husband. She became more and more uncomfortable there. A certain freedom and feeling of privacy had been lost for her as well as an uneasiness that he was trying to be friends with the few friends she had
painstakingly made over many months.
He asked her if she minded and she weakly said ‘no’ feeling like it wasn’t really her place to tell him he couldn’t go there and he had made some friends there that he could use in such a tough time. After all it was a really cool bar and it was public and what right did she have to claim it as a space for her alone. They are trying to amicable about things, after all is said and done.
But still she had this watched feeling.
She tried to go there incognito a couple of times but either she wasn’t very good about it or he was too observant because he caught on to her pretty quick and made it obvious he did. She’s been advised to wait until the new back door is finished and return incognnito through there where she won’t be seen but she’s really most comfortable being herself. That’s what the folks there know her as.
So what should she do? Should she keep going there anyway? She wants to be able to flirt and carry on and there’s no reason not to except that it might cause her ex more pain and and she really is not into that. As well as that watched feeling. Is the incognito way the only way she’ll get privacy again?
Should she tell him to go to another bar even though this is the best one? It's really just a public place, not someplace she can really place any claim on? Maybe she should just go to another bar and make new friends?
What ya think?
The woman started going to a nearby bar. A busy, social place where all sorts of folks would come and go and hang out and talk about all sorts of things. She had found a fun place where she could relax in ways she hadn’t in a long time. She also found a special friend. She’d sit on his lap and flirt and they’d laugh. And they talked about all sorts of things in a way she hadn’t ever.
She didn’t mention her new friend(s) to her husband. It felt like a much needed space just for her.
The couple ended up separated and then reuniting. She continued to see her friends at the bar. He realized it and asked her about it so she told him some things in the spirit of openness though she didn’t tell him which bar it was telling him she wanted her privacy there.
Well, she told him enough that he figured it out anyway and went there himself and watched. He saw who her friends were and how she was different off by herself. He ended up liking the place and going back there himself even though in the beginning he swore he would leave her alone with her friends at the bar. In the spirit of making her marriage work she took this as a new kind of openness that needed to be worked into their relationship.
Of course stories are not always simple and there are many more parts to this one. The short of it is she decided to leave him have they had been back together for a couple of months. It was a very painful situation for both of them but it had come to that point.
So he kept going to the bar and so did she. She hung with her friends and he made some of his own. He also talked to hers (casually) once in a while, knowing they were her friends. Some of them didn’t even know that he was her husband. She became more and more uncomfortable there. A certain freedom and feeling of privacy had been lost for her as well as an uneasiness that he was trying to be friends with the few friends she had
painstakingly made over many months.
He asked her if she minded and she weakly said ‘no’ feeling like it wasn’t really her place to tell him he couldn’t go there and he had made some friends there that he could use in such a tough time. After all it was a really cool bar and it was public and what right did she have to claim it as a space for her alone. They are trying to amicable about things, after all is said and done.
But still she had this watched feeling.
She tried to go there incognito a couple of times but either she wasn’t very good about it or he was too observant because he caught on to her pretty quick and made it obvious he did. She’s been advised to wait until the new back door is finished and return incognnito through there where she won’t be seen but she’s really most comfortable being herself. That’s what the folks there know her as.
So what should she do? Should she keep going there anyway? She wants to be able to flirt and carry on and there’s no reason not to except that it might cause her ex more pain and and she really is not into that. As well as that watched feeling. Is the incognito way the only way she’ll get privacy again?
Should she tell him to go to another bar even though this is the best one? It's really just a public place, not someplace she can really place any claim on? Maybe she should just go to another bar and make new friends?
What ya think?
