Once a month?

[Lovernotkiller]

My girlfriend and i only see each other about 2 day a week right now. She is talking about doing things like er once every threee weeks with each other or once a month(sex wise). I was of course agreed cause I am whipped. However should i convince her more often to sexually do something. And if so how? Any help or advice would be nice thanks.(also to keep in mind that she is leaveing in 4 months for bootcamp for airforce, so that means only 4 more times in like a year)

 

[h_i_s]

i'd guess that you are not happy with the amount of time for the enjoyment of shared intimacy which she has suggested? Have you discussed with her why she might feel a need to limit sex?

Myself, i prefere sexual enjoyments to be spontaneus and unscheduled as well as unlimited. Shared intimacy is important in the relationship i share. i'd not be happy otherwise.

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent°º¤ø,¸ proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND

 

[Bobmi357]

My girlfriend and i only see each other about 2 day a week right now. She is talking about doing things like er once every threee weeks with each other or once a month(sex wise). I was of course agreed cause I am whipped. However should i convince her more often to sexually do something. And if so how? Any help or advice would be nice thanks.(also to keep in mind that she is leaveing in 4 months for bootcamp for airforce, so that means only 4 more times in like a year)

Do both of you a favor and tell her exactly what you said here. If she says no, then wish her luck with her life and move on to greener pastures. If thats her idea of a sex life, then you're better off dating a nun.

The simple fact is, if you don't talk to her, you've allowed her to lay the groundrules for all of the sex you two may have. If this is ok with you, then fine, if not, speak up!

 

[Lovernotkiller]

Okay, well we are going to talk about it tommorow in person. I think the point she was originally trying to make was that we didn't have to have sex at every chance, and it stumbled into the once a month thing. I have the strangest feeling like neighther of us are going to keep this plan, but if she is stubborn and doesn't want to have sex when the mood is right for it, and keep this schedule thing going, well I am just going to have to seduce the **** out of her and strap her down, It's that simple . I'll see how it goes tommorow though you two, thank you for the advice. (Your right, there is no way if we stick together that we are going to do it just once a month.)

Much appreciation for the responses.

 

[lisasmurf]

from what i have read, the normal sex for couple first getting married is from 3 to 12 times a week...
I'm sure most couple when first married had sex daily if not 2 or 3 times a day even.....

If i was a guy and she going to go run off to the service, I look for a new mate, if your unhappen now, you never be happy. a very bad way to start a marrage. get yourself a new g/f whom loves sex, From what guys say here, in 10 years 2 or 3 kids later.. you be luckly to get 2 or 3 time a month then. so get all you can up front, its all down hill!!
She think 1 time a month and it down hill.


AM I RIGHT GUYS?

 

[SweetErika]

This is the same girl you've been dating for all of a few months? You need to talk to her, but perhaps she doesn't want you (or herself) to get more attached than you already are before she leaves. If she doesn't want much sex now, may probably won't change her mind later. Honestly, you both need to take a serious look at agreeing to see other people when you're apart and reassessing the situation when she comes back or gets out of the airforce. I sincerely hope everything works out for you one way or another, but I've got a sneaking suspicion you're looking at this entire situation through rose colored glasses and are headed for heartache in the near future.

 

[Vixandra]

Well, I've been in your girl's shoes, to a degree.
I'm ADAF and was dating my now hubby when I left for bootcamp.

And let me tell you- that 6 weeks of boot (it was 6 then) SUCKED because I missed him so much. Okay, boot sucked anyway but that certainly made it worse the my TI's did.
So she may be distancing herself a little bit to avoid missing you so much during BMT.


No one flame me for this- but is she going to the Medical side of the AF? If so- I would seriously advise going into an open relationship if not keying down to a friendship when she leaves.
I say this because I am medical and I went through my tech school at Shepard AFB, Texas and the only things to do there are drink, go to the mall, and have sex. And Medical girls are the worst ones of all about that last one- bad enough that the med training group has the HIGHEST pregnancy and STD rate amoung the training groups there. Though I think the STD one is because we're trained on what the signs and symptoms are but that's a whole 'nother thread.
Girls who you wouldn't think would sleep around became total sluts and there was a lot of peer pressure to do likewise. It was like highschool all over again in the worst ways. And it seemed like everyone was doing it.

If she's not going medical, more power to her (yes medics are important but my job drives me nutso sometimes). Make sure she gets pays for her MGI Bill and such.

Congrats to her for going into the service and to you on not dumping her for it. I wish you both the best of luck- and you a lot of patience. Being a non-military b/f or hubby of an Active Duty woman is quite a task. But worth it if the relationship's right.

 

[nycphoto]

Time for you to consider going with another girl on the side. I would say that girls who begin doing this are ready to leave the relationship and this is thier manner of getting out of it by missing you less. It seems like your young and starting over will mean that you can have different experiances. Even if you stay with her I feel that she will just leave you in the end, so while she is out there find yourself another girl friend and have yourself some fun.

 

[wicked woman]

Time for you to consider going with another girl on the side. I would say that girls who begin doing this are ready to leave the relationship and this is thier manner of getting out of it by missing you less. It seems like your young and starting over will mean that you can have different experiances. Even if you stay with her I feel that she will just leave you in the end, so while she is out there find yourself another girl friend and have yourself some fun.

wondering why you wouldn't just suggest he come clean and end the relationship ...be honest...communicate...instead of cheating? hmmm interesting

 

[nycphoto]

If she is leaving for the air force then my guss is that this guy is going to graduate HS or going to graduate college. If your this young then you should never limit the amount of sex you desire. Also at this age he should be sampling the girls that are out there. Why not?
If she is going away to the military and they are not married he should cheat because she will. Even if she does not why should he limit himself to one girl.

 

[wicked woman]

If she is leaving for the air force then my guss is that this guy is going to graduate HS or going to graduate college. If your this young then you should never limit the amount of sex you desire. Also at this age he should be sampling the girls that are out there. Why not?
If she is going away to the military and they are not married he should cheat because she will. Even if she does not why should he limit himself to one girl.

I guess we see things differently. I'm not disagreeing with you that if he's young it is wise to experience as many people as possible to get an idea of what you like and don't like...what works for you...and part of that may have a sexual component to it.

But that still doesn't explain to me why your advice is to cheat? To 'continue' the relationship with her and see other women on the side. I guess I just don't see the point in being dishonest about it. If he thinks he wants to see other women while she's away, he should tell her that. Be honest about it. Either break it off or communicate that he wants an open relationship (and that would go for her too).

Not meaning to hijack the thread....just the logic of your conclusion eluded me.

Edited: What? If you're not married you can't be in a committed monogamous relationship? hmmm interesting oh and just because she's leaving to join the armed forces she's 'going' to cheat....don't see how that's a given...but even if it is, don't see how one wrong deserves another.

Don't mean to pick on you...just your assumptions don't make sense to me.

ok I'll get off this horse....

 

[nycphoto]

I was not saying cheating, and then again chating is good. What I was saying is that she is fixing to ditch him from what he is saying I say that is the next plan of action.

 

[SweetErika]

I was not saying cheating, and then again chating is good. What I was saying is that she is fixing to ditch him from what he is saying I say that is the next plan of action.

If you don't tell your partner, "another girl on the side" IS cheating. Breaking up with her to see "another girl" or "other girls" would not be cheating, but having one on the side is.

 

[Lovernotkiller]

Hmmmmm, to give you two a better idea, we are both in highschool, we really enjoy the same exact things, such as she wants to go out and play paint ball with me, and i took her out to go see phantom of the opera, which i found i enjoyed. I love the way she looks and the way her body looks under the clothes and she thinks I'm handsome and thinks i have a sexy body(six pack and all, even though I'm 6feet tall and weigh 132). My parents think this is a highschool relationship, and who knows maybe they are right. However, I find that just about everything in this relationship works, there is a light for a future with her, and it's a hard road but I think I'm going to take it for as long as the love is there, which if i can help it, will always be there. I'm sure many people feel this about their first, but I refuse to beleive that i am part of the many people. She wrote this in her journal a little bit ago: "Is it possible to find the one person who understands you and who you understand so early in life? I haven't even spread my own wings to fly yet, and I think I may have already found the one person I want to share the sky with." I think we have a good chance.

 

[Lovernotkiller]

I have a feeling when I talk to her today, things will go up hill or down. I beleive the sex will continue as normal and sex won't be planned, but based on the mood we are in. As for the cheating, my will is not weak, i will never do that unless i got drugged and strapped to a chair(sounds interesting? jk) In order for one to think about cheating they have to be angry, I have a bit of wisdom i pulled out of my *** the other day : "Anger is easiar than love, don't be lazy" A while ago, i use to run over to her house for exercise, 5 and a half mile round trip. I'm not lazy.

Cheating is out of the question, she worries that i will, but im not going too.
As for the sex, if she really loves me, then she will not put a limit on it.

 

[Luv2PleasureF]

If you don't tell your partner, "another girl on the side" IS cheating. Breaking up with her to see "another girl" or "other girls" would not be cheating, but having one on the side is.

Absolutely.
I would even consider that breaking up in order to "see another girl" would be a kind of cheating, if he met the girl previously and ended the relationship on the basis of wanting to see someone else.

In my ever-so-humble opinion, If a relationship is to end with dignity, then it must end based on the issues within that relationship, and only based on that, no external factors involved.

When my sweetie and I met, she had been in a long term relationship with someone else... but before we even met, she had decided to end it, and was sure that she was unhappy with him. It's never easy to end a relationship, especially when you know it will hurt that person's feelings. But had it been another way, if I even had the slightest notion that I was the reason she left him, I would be concerned of the same thing happening again. But I have no concerns, and what's really great is that we both seem to care not only about each other, but each other's happiness.

Hey sweetie, when you read this, know that I LOVE YOU!!

 

[Eilan]

As for the sex, if she really loves me, then she will not put a limit on it.

I'd be careful saying this to her because she might consider it blackmail.

 

[Bobmi357]

I'd be careful saying this to her because she might consider it blackmail.

She may consider it blackmail.

I'd consider it reasons for dumping her ass. When one partner assumes control over the sex life of a couple without allowing the other partner any say in the matter, something is seriously wrong in the relationship.

Maybe they can work this out, I don't know. I just do know that if a woman basically said to me "You'll get sex every second saturday of the month", I'd give her two options. Agree to a more mutually acceptable schedule or take a hike.

 

[Eilan]

She may consider it blackmail.

I'd consider it reasons for dumping her ass. When one partner assumes control over the sex life of a couple without allowing the other partner any say in the matter, something is seriously wrong in the relationship.

Maybe they can work this out, I don't know. I just do know that if a woman basically said to me "You'll get sex every second saturday of the month", I'd give her two options. Agree to a more mutually acceptable schedule or take a hike.

I responded that way because he mentioned that both of them are still in high school and I saw it as a high-schooler's attempt to get laid.

 

[Lovernotkiller]

Mmmmm, ok. I found out that she wasn't in the best of moods when she had this talk with me. She feels the way I do, and wants to do it when we feel it, and if any of you couldnt already tell, I'm not a virgin regardless of what it says under my name, i just do not know how to fix it. NO MORE THOUGHTS OF SCHEDULED LIMITED SEX, i agree with you all how that is a really bad thing. Haveing said that, most girls are on horny before their period and i think thats er,an appropiate mood. And if it wasn't cold today outdoors, she said she would have done something to me when she was bringing something out back for work. Now I've got to figure out how to tell her that i've wrote this in a forum . I'll tell her a year from now or when i think she's ready to hear it.

Morale of the story is: Limited sex means a misunderstanding or and end to a relationship(for me, a misundertanding)

PS if someone could tell me how to fix that virgin status to something else under my name, it would be much appreciated

 

[Eilan]

PS if someone could tell me how to fix that virgin status to something else under my name, it would be much appreciated

We're all virgins when we start out here. Just keep posting. I think you'll become Experienced at around 25 posts.

 

[cmarlowe01]

She may consider it blackmail.

I'd consider it reasons for dumping her ass. When one partner assumes control over the sex life of a couple without allowing the other partner any say in the matter, something is seriously wrong in the relationship.

Maybe they can work this out, I don't know. I just do know that if a woman basically said to me "You'll get sex every second saturday of the month", I'd give her two options. Agree to a more mutually acceptable schedule or take a hike.

I would have to agree.

 

[cmarlowe01]

This is at best a high school fling. Think about college and how many other girls are out there and willing to spread thier legs for you. That is why I am saying don't worry about her, find yourself someone else. You can't know what love is if she is your first. There are people who say they do but I think they are very unhappy in the end. I could have done this or that etc... So live your life and forget about what she is doing. In a way it will help you get laid more with your current girl friend. If you notices that you are care free she will start thinking.
Besides think, as soon as people go away they tend to grow and they will probably out grow you. So kiddo think about college and have fun there.
This is for my fan out there on this thread. I am not jaded about life or relationships. I just am a realist, pragmatic type person who has seen a whole bunch of things.

 

[6ingirth]

To me, the thing to do is obvious.

I know she's doing AF, but still: be all you can be. Be the guy that she can't stand being apart from. Be the lover that takes her to heights that no one else can. Just because you like to do it.

Make sure that when she's talking, you aren't just listening, but also hearing. Don't ever let her wonder if you think she's sexy. Make sure she knows that in your eyes, she's the sexiest being on the planet. When women feel sexy, they're a helluva lot more likely to want sex.

Give her a "her" night. Go down on her and lick her like there's no tomorrow. Do whatever you have to do to give her an earth-shattering orgasm. Do not cum yourself unless she insists. You can always go shake hands with the sheriff later. Make a habit of being more interested in HER sexual gratification and satisfaction than your own. And never guilt-trip her about it by using it as currency for your gratification later. It has to be a genuine desire to fulfill her. Even if you only get together once a month, make it about her. If you do it right, she's going to think about that time last week when you made her feel that way, and pretty soon, it won't be once a month anymore.

If you are putting everything you can into being the best boyfriend she could ever hope for, and are satisfying her sexually, and things still don't progress to the point of that effort being mutual, then it's time to re-evaluate the relationship.

Above all, be honest and communicate.

 

[Lovernotkiller]

Hmmmm, I've been thinking about what it would be like without her and with other people, i might even be able to do something like that. I even know that this is my first and that i should try hooking up with other people with college and all. But I think i love way too many things about this girl. We like and love the same things. I deffinetly don't want to ever break up with her and then find out i loved her way too much to leave her, I dont want to be doing soemthing with another girl and thinking about her. Hmmm, going out with people and trying to find the right one is kind of like bowling. Sometimes it takes you a lot of tries to get them down(searching for people). I believe I have got a strike and never have to go bowling again. If i can just bite my lip and make it through these next two years with her, I believe that i can be happy for the rest of my life. Who knows, it may or may not last. But i do know if we ever got into an arguement, we make up for it the very next day. I am way to stubborn to give up on this relationship, it hasn't even begun(sp).