On Line Dating Blues

[B2fromA2looking4U]

This thread is a chance to vent but also solicit advice about older folks and online dating. As a recent wodower and not having dated for over 50 years, it has been eye opening. Here are my rants or gripes or puzzlements to date: 1. I learned that the 20 and 30 somethings that sexy chat on dating web sites get paid for that and really aren't interested. So ignore them. 2. Scammers are getting very sophisticated and almost got me. Word of advice - if they offer their email or phone it is a scammmer. Although warned to never give out personal, you are giving it if you respond to their offer. and 3. If the person seems too good to be true, IT IS! I have found more success with FB Dating than any other site. Finally, any advice on aquiring an escort to get a quick fix for my horniness is greatly appreciated. Sorry this is long.

 

[RudyGardet]

First off, online dating can be miserable sometimes, so good for you for putting yourself out there and doing your best to figure things out.
It sounds like you've already figured out the bots and scammers - all of the red flags you mentioned are the main ones. You might get more of that shit because they target older men a lot.
There's only so much you can do for online dating, but I enjoyed it a lot more when I stopped trying to figure out why I wasn't getting as many matches (I'm quite the catch in my oh-so-humble opinion ). There's a million reasons why, like the fact that those sites keep long dead profiles active so many of the women you're swiping on might not even still be looking. Also keep in mind the female experience of online dating. Where men get few hits, women are often inundated with tons, and sadly lots of those guys are asshole duds. I think lots of women get frustrated and aggravated with that aspect of online dating and chases them away, leaving the bots and scammers in the pool.
Best thing you can do is fine tune your profiles. There are a lot more men on those sites so it's important to try to stand out. Humor, showing your active fun lifestyle, having pics that give some insight to your world, not just a few non descript selfies.
Next thing you can do you're probably already doing - send good openers and be a good conversationalist. Even if it's a sexy match, don't talk about sex from the jump. Read their profiles and find places where you can engage them. Things in common are great, but sometimes differences are better for conversation. If they mention something you're not familiar with or that you're interested in, ask questions. Always ask questions. Shows that you're interested and keeps conversation moving.
Last thing - pay. The free version of most sites is fine if you're getting tons of matches, but my experience is that the extra tools and features they charge for can sometimes (not always) help a lot just to get seen. That's what most of them are - super likes etc where it gives your messages a better chance to break through. I also vastly prefer sites like OkCupid, Hinge, and Match where you can send messages with your 'likes' rather than just a simple swipe. In my opinion, if a profile isn't interesting enough to give you something to message about, then they probably aren't worth it.
I can't help you with escorts, but good luck with everything!

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

Thank you as you have helped me a great deal. I did find one match on Silver Singles but it took a lot of filtering out the scammers. You are right about asking questions and commenting on something in the profile. It helps with the banter. You know the bots and scammers when they start out with sex. But those that are not a bot or scammer will ask about your profile. So far I having more successs with FB Dating. I would like to ask your and others advice on once you met someone, and you can tell that personalities will clash (she should know but seems cluelss), how to say not a match without too much rudeness. I am typically direct so a little finess advice would help. Again, thank you and best of luck to you.

 

[SimonJeffreson]

I know my reply is a bit late, but I’d like to thank you for sharing your experiences with online dating. It's valuable to hear different perspectives. It can definitely be a whole new world, especially after such a long time. As for finding a quick fix, I'd recommend focusing on building genuine connections and taking your time. In addition, based on my experience with dating on such sites, I’d like to mention that if you're considering dating a gemini woman, it can be helpful to bring up their zodiac sign early on in your acquaintance. It's always good to show genuine interest in someone's personality traits and preferences.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

I know my reply is a bit late, but I’d like to thank you for sharing your experiences with online dating. It's valuable to hear different perspectives. It can definitely be a whole new world, especially after such a long time. As for finding a quick fix, I'd recommend focusing on building genuine connections and taking your time.

I have come to that decision after failed efforts of online dating. I am meeting people in person through local meetup group meetings. I find this approach as organic and less stressful.

 

[Indigo_lr]

Wishing you best of luck! Just know the dating sites are just as miserable for the 30 somethings!

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

Wishing you best of luck! Just know the dating sites are just as miserable for the 30 somethings!

Terrible if you are over 60. Most of the time they are ripe for scammers trying to get money from the lonely older gents.