ominous fortune cookie

[seXieleXie]

tonight my fortune was "hope for the best, prepare for the worst"



so now i'm all scared and stuff. i think i better not leave the house for a while.

 

[Marxist]

tonight my fortune was "hope for the best, prepare for the worst"



so now i'm all scared and stuff. i think i better not leave the house for a while.

I wrote that one. You should have seen some of my others:

"Don't trust your mom"

"Eat less, you pig"

"Smoke weed and you'll die in an alley with a needle in your arm someday"

"Trust Republicans and cult leaders"

I was on a roll that day at the Fortune Cookie factory.

 

[Sillyman]

I believe my last one said that "Three buxom redheads will wish to cook you a lasagna before giving you an extremly sloppy blowjob." It hasn't happened yet. I think I'm about to give up on it.

 

[Dougy]

One that my brother actually got:
"Toreador pants make your feet look big too"

More confusing than ominous, really...

 

[Marxist]

One that my brother actually got:
"Toreador pants make your feet look big too"

More confusing than ominous, really...

I never laugh.

I laughed. That was odd.

 

[Private Vasquez]

Aren't you supposed to add something to the end to make it funny?

 

[scylis]

i got one that read:

"keep your plans secret for the imediate future."

well, DUHHH!

 

[seXieleXie]

Aren't you supposed to add something to the end to make it funny?

yeah it's an old joke among my friends to add "in bed"

it just makes the fortunes a lot more amusing

 

[Private Vasquez]

Preparing for the worst in bed can be a good thing. Though, I'm not exactly sure how it's done.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

i got a fortune once that said "beware of the flying fish while on the bridge"

 

[Sillyman]

Leading to

"Don't trust your Mom in bed."

"Keep your plans secret for the immediate future in bed."

"Toreador pants make your feet look big too in bed"

Just from this thread.

 

[Rambling Rose]

What is your mom doing in my bed?

btw do these pants make my feet look big?

 

[Sillyman]

I don't know what she is doing, but I wouldn't trust her.

You have itty bitty feet Rose.

 

[patient1]

Preparing for the worst in bed can be a good thing. Though, I'm not exactly sure how it's done.

Rubber sheets.
paper towels.
lysol spray.