Old Wives' Tales

[Eilan]

I got together with a group of friends today, and somehow, the conversation ended up touching on old wives' tales and superstitions, some of which I'd never heard of, like

A menstruating woman can't go into the pickle cellar because she'll ruin the pickles.

One of the women in the group insists that, when she was a teenager, she ruined her dad's cucumber crop because she walked among them while she was on her period. She insists that it has something to do with pheromones.

I, however, being a skeptic's skeptic, am not inclined to believe that.

Do you have any favorite old wives' tales or superstitions, particularly those related to sex? Please share.

 

[EJFan]

i'll leave the sexual "old wives tales" to others who've actually had sex... maybe some have even had sex with old wives.

my favorites are the bullshit ones about cracking your knuckles and "holding in" sneezes. although... did anyone know that it's IMPOSSIBLE to keep your eyes open when you sneeze? it's true.

oh... and "gullible" isn't in the dictionary.

 

[SweetErika]

I have a couple of Spanish ones for ya:

1) Apply chlorine bleach to a sunburn...it makes it better somehow.

2) When you have a cough, put a half of an onion next to your bed at night. This does actually have some truth, as it can clear out the respiratory passages, but I never found it to take away my cough.

3) If you have a cold, you should drink hot orange juice laced with honey.

 

[Quoll]

i'll leave the sexual "old wives tales" to others who've actually had sex... maybe some have even had sex with old wives.

my favorites are the bullshit ones about cracking your knuckles and "holding in" sneezes. although... did anyone know that it's IMPOSSIBLE to keep your eyes open when you sneeze? it's true.

oh... and "gullible" isn't in the dictionary.

...and there's the pitch...

 

[SonOfAGhost]

I have a couple of Spanish ones for ya:

3) If you have a cold, you should drink hot orange juice laced with honey.

I guess the orange juice instead of lemon juice and water is what makes it Spanish? It's not an old wives tale though, unless someone thinks it will cure them as opposed to making them feel better. The juice is for vitamin C. It needs to be hot so the honey will disolve. Honey is basically just sugar because your body burns huge amounts of calories fighting the disease. Also, when using lemon juice, you'll definitely be glad to have it sweetened. Throw in some medication and you've got NeoCitron, or do they sell it by a different brand in the US?

Sexual old-wives tales:

We'd have to include the ones about masturbation leading to blindness and or hair growing on the palm of your hand.

Then there's the one about, 'Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?'. I know only one guy younger than my parents (in their late 50's) that married a woman he hadn't already had sex with. I know lots of guys that are married and I don't know any women that got a proposal while still a virgin.

 

[SweetErika]

I guess the orange juice instead of lemon juice and water is what makes it Spanish? It's not an old wives tale though, unless someone thinks it will cure them as opposed to making them feel better. The juice is for vitamin C. It needs to be hot so the honey will disolve. Honey is basically just sugar because your body burns huge amounts of calories fighting the disease. Also, when using lemon juice, you'll definitely be glad to have it sweetened. Throw in some medication and you've got NeoCitron, or do they sell it by a different brand in the US?

Yes, they (a lot of old Spanish women) thought the hot orange juice and copious amounts of honey was a cure for a cold, not just a feel-better remedy. Of course the hot liquid and honey did help soothe a sore throat and cough, and I have no doubt it was helpful nutrition-wise, but not exactly a cure.

And yes, we do have things like NeoCitran here, but it doesn't seem to work as well, so I always stock up for the year when we're in Canada.

 

[phoenix1224]

You have to wait an hour after eating before you can go swimming otherwise, you'll cramp up. - False.

 

[Recidiva]

I don't know any women that got a proposal while still a virgin.

*raises her hand*

Look, I don't know why guys keep running down marriage. I've received many proposals of marriage, yes my first was when I was a virgin. I don't recommend this any more. Not fun to find out you're violently allergic to spermicide on your wedding night. FUNNY now. Not funny then.

But still. Guys ask without being prompted. They keep asking again after being told no repeatedly. They don't accept a no and just keep asking. From my side of things, it's the guys with the unrealistic expectations of marriage. Mostly because they're so possessive they just can't bear any competition. Fine, ask me to respect that 'cause I love you is nice, but can guys take responsibility for this, too, please? I'm not the only woman not looking for marriage who kept getting it proposed. Some women are just trying to be nice to the guy she likes who is a frothing maniac until she says "yes" to being exclusive forever.

I'm not knocking it, but I mean, really, if all the bitching guys did about being married in public was put against how much asking they did for it in private, it looks silly.

 

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[Eilan]

I wonder what kind of responses you'd receive if the title had been: Old Wives' Tail?

Dunno. But I bet there would have been a lot of views, kinda like EJFan's "Get rid of excess pussy" thread.

Along the menstruation lines, yet again. . .

No swimming or tub baths when you're on your period. According to my mom and grandma, your flow will stop and never start again.

Similarly, no tub baths in the weeks following childbirth, because the bath water can enter the vagina and/or uterus and cause an infection. I freaked my mom out by doing this, but I managed to survive.

 

[Guest]

 

[SweetErika]

No swimming or tub baths when you're on your period. According to my mom and grandma, your flow will stop and never start again.

I'm assuming the negative of that is fertility-wise, but when I first read this, I thought. 'Sounds good to me!'

As I pick up my mug, a common one... "Drinking coffee will stunt your growth."

 

[TBKahuna123]

We'd have to include the ones about masturbation leading to blindness and or hair growing on the palm of your hand.

If that's not true, then how come wear glasses and need to get my hands waxed every couple weeks? In case you were wondering, it's called an Italian Wax.

How about removing warts by rubbing a penny over them? Not really sexual related, but it was pretty funny when my grandmother told me this. The look on her face was pricelss when I turned to my friend and said "hey maybe if you jerk off with a handful of quarters it'll get ridof those annoying genital warts!"

OK, here's another. If you concieve with the guy on top, you'll have a boy, if the woman's on top, you'll have a girl. Notice they never mention doggy style?

 

[Munachi]

about the warts, i was told something like spitting on them a certain amount of times would help.

 

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[andymooo]

here's a couple of tails I remember

If you have a stye on your eyelid you should rub your mothers wedding ring on it.

And one of my granny's favourites - If you don't eat your crusts you won't have curly hair...

 

[Eilan]

OK, here's another. If you concieve with the guy on top, you'll have a boy, if the woman's on top, you'll have a girl. Notice they never mention doggy style?

Yeah, but what if you change positions a bunch of times during the act of conception?

FWIW, I have four girls.

 

[glynndah]

My mother used to claim that a woman lost a tooth for every child she had. I hate to admit it, but about a year after my son was born, I had to have a wisdom tooth pulled.

 

[TBKahuna123]

also about the warts, i remember something about rubbing a potato peel on it.

Glad no one mentioned that, I'd have had to suggest he fuck the potatoe salad, and that wouldn't have been good for anyone!

FWIW, I have four girls.

Ahhh my kinda gal. I like a woman who takes charge!

 

[LadyJeanne]

If you sleep with a piece of wedding cake under your pillow, you'll dream of your future husband.

 

[Quoll]

For warts we used to use the sap of the milk thistle, it was actually very effective, oxalic acid I think.

My wifes family will never pick up a newborn baby without first crossing it's palm with silver.

My mother in law used to freak out if you crossed knives at the dinner table, also you never give knives as a gift.

 

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[EJFan]

My mother in law used to freak out if you crossed knives at the dinner table, also you never give knives as a gift.

in the movie "the edge" with anthony hopkins, they said that the recipient has to give the giver of a knife a coin in return to keep the gift from cutting the friendship.

 

[silverwhisper]

does anyone know the derivation of the knife thing? my mom mentioned she was gonna buy my wife a really nice kitchen knife but b/c of that bit of symbolism didn't.

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