Old Scars (closed)

[Apollo Wilde]

She blushed deeper, but smiled wider when he answered her. Believe it or not, over the time that they'd spent apart, she had really looked back on how everything, well, how it all happened. How she acted. And for the most part, she was...okay, but there were some things that she was just flat out embarrassed by and was amazed that he was still around for it. She must have seemed so desperate!

But still...when she remembered how he felt inside of her, how he cradled her close, her face grew nicely warm and she wrapped her arms tighter around his midsection. He was such a beautiful man. It seemed that the ride was all too short with how comfortable she'd gotten with him, and she had to shake herself a little to bring full awareness back.

She'd heard of the place, but she wasn't one for going out much. Sure, she went out with co-workers, but it was generally rare due to the workload they all tended to have. At first, she was nearly bowled over by all the lights and the sound - and ruefully, she thought that she did tend to live her life very very quietly in comparison. Working around children would do that to anyone, really.

"Depends," she shouted back up at him, wanting to make sure that she was heard. "Do you like to dance at all?"

 

[DrStein]

At the suggestion of dancing he laughed. "I could give it a try." They went to a table that was further back from the band, making conversation easier. The band started a slower tune with emphasis on the horns. A small menu in a bound leather booklet was sitting on the table with a list of all the drinks available along with a list of light food, bar snacks, and sandwiches.

Mark ordered a wheat beer and a panini. "I don't know much about jazz other than my uncle's Thelonious Monk albums. Is this a tune you recognize?" he asked, gesturing to the band.

 

[Apollo Wilde]

She grinned back at him.

She didn't know swing as well as other genres; all she knew is that it made her want to dance. She eyed the dance floor with an ever widening grin. She was going to get him out there at one point or the other, sooner than later.

"Nah," she said lightly, taking the menu from the table. Hm. What he was having sounded good. She ordered another panini, substituting the wheat beer for a lindemans frambois. "But it makes me want to dance. Can we? Please? Well, after food and all, but please?" And then she did it - pulled out the big 'ole puppy dog eyes.

 

[DrStein]

Mark held her gaze for a moment before he finally cracked and hung his head laughing. "Damn it, I can't say no when you make that face. Promise me you won't make a habit of that." He looked over at the dance floor. No other couples were out right now, so it would be just the two of them. He glanced around the club feeling self-conscious again. The gym was one place, but now he was in public with a woman again and he was feeling apprehensive again. Old habits just wouldn't go down without a fight it seemed.

He looked back at Lily and saw the look on her face. She was grateful to him for this and she really wanted to be out on the dance floor with him. He kept saying he wanted to change, and here he was thinking of chickening out? The longer he thought about this, he knew, the greater the chance he would invent some excuse to get out of it. He had to make a decision now.

"Come on. Before the food arrives." He took her hand and walked out onto the dance floor with her. His eyes never left hers, though his motivation was an even split. On the one hand, he really did care about Lily and thought she was very beautiful. On the other, he worried that if he cast even one glance toward the other patrons in the room he would end up wussing out. He felt strangely anxious, but hid it well. He just needed to stay focused.

 

[Apollo Wilde]

Well, that was good to know!

Note to self: Puppy dog face works on Mark as well as brothers.

She almost beat him getting up; she could barely contain how excited she was. Not that she was really much of a dancer, but the music was infectious. She threaded her fingers in his as he held her hand, and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. With all that she knew about him, she knew that this had to be difficult for him. And there was always the fear, regardless of any past, of looking like a complete idiot. Sometimes she wrestled with that feeling (though it'd be hard to tell sometimes). She knew that there was a possibility that they'd get out onto the floor and make complete jackasses of themselves.

But what was the point in worrying about any of that? What mattered was that she was going out to the floor with him, someone she cared about, and someone who obviously cared a lot about her. She just hoped that she could convey all that she felt through the touch of her hand.

Once they were out on the floor, she looked at him, her brown eyes twinkling; slightly expectant. "You know," and it came out on the end of a giggle, "I've never gone dancing before. So I have no idea what to do." How hard could it be? Keeping her right hand in his, she put his left on her waist, and snuggled in close. She was thankful it was a slower song; anything faster and she knew she'd start dancing like a spastic child. With this, though, she could snuggle close to him, and feel him surround her. A soft sigh slipped her lips.

"I guess we just let the music move us...?" Her words were nearly muffled against his body.

 

[DrStein]

Mark felt that old protective feeling with his hands on Lily. She was so petite he wanted to be her big, strong guardian. He tried to focus on her instead of the crowd. No matter what, he didn't want to look up. Seeing all those people would just be too much, even if they weren't looking at him.

His stomach leaped when she said she didn't know how to dance. He screamed silently at his brain to stop panicking. Instead he concentrated his hearing on the bass... then scrapped that idea when he realized that the bassist was playing another solo. He changed tack and listened for the drums instead. One of the reasons he preferred rock music was how easy it was to get into the groove and let go. Jazz required more attention on the part of the listener due to the more intricate theory involved. He managed to pick up the time signature after a few bars. "Uh... I'll lead."

Mark focused on trying to move with the downbeat, just gently moving in slow circles. At first it was awkward, but he eventually used his hand on Lily's waist to guide her toward the direction he was moving. It was still awkward, but at least he wasn't stepping on her feet. He closed his eyes and kept the groove while trying to stay focused on the petite little body pressed against him. "Maybe we should take some swing dancing lessons before we come back?" Mark suggested. This would be so much easier if he at least had some clue what he was doing. He wondered if his sheer size would be a problem when trying to do something like the Lindy Hop.

 

[Apollo Wilde]

It was hard to forget Mark’s largeness. It was something that she continually marveled at – not only when she was with him, in his arms, but just watching him at the gym. Chalk it up to her artist’s eye, but just watching him move was a marvel. Despite his very size, he was put together proportionally, and wasn’t gawky or gangly. He moved smoothly – even now, despite his fear. And through the fabric of his shirt, she soaked in the warmth that he so willingly offered, lost herself in his cologne and the smell of him, rich and clean beneath it all.

To her, it wasn’t really a matter of being “on beat” as so much as letting the music move her. That’s why she wasn’t horribly concerned to jump on the floor without any formal training. Jazz was difficult to dance to – depending on what was playing. This piece in particular was slow, with licks of bossa nova to keep it from being entirely sleep-inducing. “We could,” she said. “It might even be fun, right?” She looked up at him, her brown eyes mischievous. “Have you danced before? You’re not doing too shabby at all.”

 

[DrStein]

Mark smiled lightly at the question. "No. Usually I mosh. Dancing is all about flow and grace. Moshing... not so much." He had been in a couple of mosh pits in the past. He even got in a wall of death at one point. He took a stray fist to the face and when he wheeled around to see who threw it, he accidentally backhanded the guy who hit him and almost knocked him out.

When the song finished, Mark walked briskly back to the table with Lily. He wouldn't let her see it, but his nerves were still on edge. He hadn't done anything in front of a crowd since his high school cover band. He had this new gig with the band though so he would have to get used to being back on stage again. Maybe playing music instead of just listening to it would be easier for him.

"Jesus... It's been at least 7 years since I did something like that... Feels like longer." It was a process. Mark didn't want to continue living alone, but he had 7 years of living in isolation to write over in his head. After the first year or two, the loneliness just got easier to deal with.

 

[Apollo Wilde]

"Mosh? That's when people sort of..." she waved her hand about, looking to fish the word from the air, "run into each other? Head bang? Is that right? I'm sorry, I totally don't know a lot about the genre and I don't want to say something stupid." Because I really, really, really want you to keep liking me! she thought to herself, her lips tightening a small bit. "It's like, there's the stereotype, and I don't want to just assume something based on what I've seen on t.v., y'know? A lot of bad crap gets started that way. Like how when people say that all art teachers are loopy and dim or just old hippie burn outs that couldn't hack it at real school or just talk only about emotions. You know what I'm talking about, right?" She elbowed his side lightly, giving him a small smile.

"Well, I think you did wonderfully, considering it's been so long," and she gave his hand a squeeze. "Thanks for humoring me, at least." Though he hid it well - she had to give him credit for that-, Lily wasn't the type who didn't pick up on the emotions of others. She couldn't have gotten so far and be so well-loved as a teacher if she didn't. But, on the same hand, she also got that for not just...poking and prodding constantly to find out what was wrong. Again, she lightly squeezed his hand, before turning to stand in front of him and wrap him in a big hug. "Thank you," she said, softly, against his mid-section. Letting him go, she flopped back down at the table, and smiled at him across from it.

"So, you should have totally seen the graduation ceremony for my 5th graders. It was the cutest thing, oh my god." There, that would make things a little easier - to change the subject, let him know that she wasn't judging, that, if anything, she was exceedingly thankful that he had even gone out there with her to begin with. And, she did have to catch him up with what had been going on with her for the past few weeks. "Though, truth be told, I think I say that about all of my graduating classes."

 

[DrStein]

Mark laughed at her definition of moshing. "In some concerts? Yeah. Sometimes the mosh pit is just a place to jump around, bump into people, run in circles... we call that last one a whirlpool. Funny story." Mark grinned in an almost embarrassed manner. "My buddy Wayne and I went to see a metal festival last year out of state. I got in a wall of death. The crowd split in two down the middle and crowded into the sides. The band counted us down and as they started the next song, we all charged at each other and started trying to force our way through to the opposite side. I was tall enough I missed any blows to the face, but it was intense. I tried to avoid hitting anybody, because... you know." His smile flickered a bit at that, but he recovered. "Wayne wussed out on the wall of death, but he went stage diving after that. I was too worried I'd break someone's arms. Wayne and I have made it a mission to go to Germany someday for the Wacken festival. It's like a pilgrimage for us."

He listened to her story about her students' graduation and his smile widened. "I'll bet some of them were sad to see their favorite teacher for the last time." He took Lily's hand and kissed it. "I'm positive you make a difference in those kids' lives. You're so happy and optimistic, you must do wonders for their self-esteem."