Old(er) guy needing advice

[docisin]

Okay, serious advice here, please. I’m 64, decent looking (I’ve been told), str8 male and I simply cannot find a partner, g/f, woman, you name it. I’m on the dating sites, I’ve had plenty of “coffee dates,” but I’ve not met a woman I’d be interested in meeting again; granted, I’m an artistic type, kind of off the wall, and I find most women, frankly boring. Maybe it’s the sites I’m on, but I’m looking for advice on how to meet women, where to go, etc. I’ve been told there are far more eligible women looking to meet guys my age, but I’ve yet to see any of that. I’m almost giving up. Hell yes, I want to get laid, but I also want a whole lot more. Thanks for the help. Just sign me:
Thinking of going gay...

 

[Kantarii]

Get off the computer; get out and meet someone face to face. Dating sites tend to make people “picky” hoping for someone better to come along.

 

[OneAuthor]

Get off the computer; get out and meet someone face to face. Dating sites tend to make people “picky” hoping for someone better to come along.

You are 100% correct

 

[Maeven_quinn]

Get off the computer; get out and meet someone face to face. Dating sites tend to make people “picky” hoping for someone better to come along.

If dating sites aren't working, than this would be the right advice, yeah?

OP, if you're the "artistic type" what does that mean? If you have some activity or hobby that you care about, is there an off-the-internet way for you network and meet with other people who share that hobby?

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Okay, serious advice here, please. I’m 64, decent looking (I’ve been told), str8 male and I simply cannot find a partner, g/f, woman, you name it. I’m on the dating sites, I’ve had plenty of “coffee dates,” but I’ve not met a woman I’d be interested in meeting again; granted, I’m an artistic type, kind of off the wall, and I find most women, frankly boring. Maybe it’s the sites I’m on, but I’m looking for advice on how to meet women, where to go, etc. I’ve been told there are far more eligible women looking to meet guys my age, but I’ve yet to see any of that. I’m almost giving up. Hell yes, I want to get laid, but I also want a whole lot more. Thanks for the help. Just sign me:
Thinking of going gay...

What the...it's not just gonna be handed to you, my guy!

You will always have to work and hustle for the connections you want with other people until you croak. Especially regarding love, affection, intimacy and sex.

I mean, at age sixty-four, you should know this already. You should have a lifetime of experiences in your bank to glean wisdom from.

But if you can honestly say you find "most women boring," then you are living in the wrong city!

https://i.makeagif.com/media/10-04-2017/gzaM1p.gif

 

[suurfer]

So refreshing for this site.
Most posts are in the line of "I'm xx years old and very fit, I'm being told that I look 20 years younger".
Translation: "women over 30 need not apply".

 

[OneAuthor]

But if you can honestly say you find "most women boring," then you are living in the wrong city!

It is much like the person on this board who keeps claiming all of the Literotica stories in recent years are terrible. Meanwhile, this person is still here and has thousands of posts.

I believe both need a change of scenery.

 

[Lotusflower2010]

Okay, serious advice here, please. I’m 64, decent looking (I’ve been told), str8 male and I simply cannot find a partner, g/f, woman, you name it. I’m on the dating sites, I’ve had plenty of “coffee dates,” but I’ve not met a woman I’d be interested in meeting again; granted, I’m an artistic type, kind of off the wall, and I find most women, frankly boring. Maybe it’s the sites I’m on, but I’m looking for advice on how to meet women, where to go, etc. I’ve been told there are far more eligible women looking to meet guys my age, but I’ve yet to see any of that. I’m almost giving up. Hell yes, I want to get laid, but I also want a whole lot more. Thanks for the help. Just sign me:
Thinking of going gay...

You could give a site like okcupid a try. It's free and people on it seem to be a little bit more laid back and playful since there is not a big monthly fee.

Have fun with your profile, but only post pictures of yourself that are less than 6 months to 1 yr old. Its not cool to pretend to be something you're not just to get a woman's attention. Remember, the end goal is to actually go out on real live dates. I've ended dates very quickly when the man was not honest. Just be yourself, but don't overload your profile with too much rambling information.

One last thing, never send a welcome message with only one or two words... it's too hard to respond to so it will get deleted more often than replied to.

Best of luck to you!

 

[RobDownSouth]

Get off the computer; get out and meet someone face to face.

You sound like my grandfather. "Them computer job sites are worthless! You need to go door-to-door passing out resumes and ask them if they're hiring".

Dating sites tend to make people “picky” hoping for someone better to come along.

*shrug* probably.
I read somewhere that the overwhelming majority of women want a guy six feet tall or higher. That excludes something like 75% of eligible bachelors in America. Do women have unrealistic expectations? They probably do, but life isn't fair. And I've heard women complain that guys want either a "nurse" or a "purse".

You have to learn how to stand out in a crowd. Differentiate yourself. So many men and women over 50 just let themselves go.

 

[suurfer]

I read somewhere that the overwhelming majority of women want a guy six feet tall or higher. That excludes something like 75% of eligible bachelors in America.

Do women have unrealistic expectations? They probably do, but life isn't fair. And I've heard women complain that guys want either a "nurse" or a "purse".

You have to learn how to stand out in a crowd. Differentiate yourself. So many men and women over 50 just let themselves go.

Harsh reality, but I think you're spot on.
I never joined a dating site, but I assume that men who don't look like an 8-10 have even lesser chance than average women, on dating sites.

Most men that I ever crushed on and were either short or not great looking, were from work or sports. Because there were other things (the expression of their eyes was sexy) that attracted me to them, besides their personality.

Had I come across them through a dating profile & picture, I would have swiped past them.


ALSO
Why aren't there dating sites out focused on common interests? Like art, history, philosophy, love of the outdoors or so on. Especially for over 40's.
I think that would be an unexplored niche to make money from.

 

[Go_Fuck_Yourself]

Lower your own standards. There is someone for everyone.

 

[Ann_Tagonist]

If you're thinking of going gay you might have accidently stumbled onto your difficulty finding a compatible female.

 

[suurfer]

Lower your own standards. There is someone for everyone.

When it comes to looks, not personality.
But maybe you're right, and that's why he gets stuck with dullards: because he only dates the 10's.

 

[RobDownSouth]

When it comes to looks, not personality.
But maybe you're right, and that's why he gets stuck with dullards: because he only dates the 10's.

That's one of the dirty little secrets of dating sites: 90% of the women want to date the upper 10% of the men and vice versa.

...and of course in this day and age, it's all about "not willing to settle for less", which is why so many single folks over 50 on this website seem destined to die alone.

 

[suurfer]

That's one of the dirty little secrets of dating sites: 90% of the women want to date the upper 10% of the men and vice versa.

...and of course in this day and age, it's all about "not willing to settle for less", which is why so many single folks over 50 on this website seem destined to die alone.

Irl I tended to get along more with Western men (but for the rugged i dividualist frontier type) than with Western women.

But I gradually came to the conclusion that, underneath the veneer of PCnness or groveling over and for selfies, many of the men who gravitate towards porn sites are of two types
-- those who, when they look in the mirror see a fair prince instead of a frog
-- or misogynists.

Dating sites are safer.

 

[docisin]

Thank you all so much for the replies; lots of good advice, and I will be responding to each one (hopefully) in the days to come; thanks again; seriously...

 

[Debbie]

Okay, serious advice here, please. I’m 64, decent looking (I’ve been told), str8 male and I simply cannot find a partner, g/f, woman, you name it. I’m on the dating sites, I’ve had plenty of “coffee dates,” but I’ve not met a woman I’d be interested in meeting again; granted, I’m an artistic type, kind of off the wall, and I find most women, frankly boring. Maybe it’s the sites I’m on, but I’m looking for advice on how to meet women, where to go, etc. I’ve been told there are far more eligible women looking to meet guys my age, but I’ve yet to see any of that. I’m almost giving up. Hell yes, I want to get laid, but I also want a whole lot more. Thanks for the help. Just sign me:
Thinking of going gay...

If you are artistic what about going along to an evening art course and make new friends that way?

 

[Jada59]

I'm a woman, age 60. I find most women to be boring. Or at least they seem to be interested in things that I'm not. I don't want to hear what's in that baby diaper. I don't want to hear about that fabulous sale on jeans. Or discuss movies or TV shows. And I don't wear makeup so don't give me advice on that!

That being said, I would never join a dating site. I did briefly only because my daughter said my ex was on there and I wanted to see what lies he was spreading about himself. To do so, I had to join. He must have blocked me as I couldn't see his profile. I immediately closed my account. All but two of those guys (and they were very young) looked like they walked into a wall and didn't recover from it!

I do run across wonderful men online that I click with, but they are always far away. I seem to have nothing in common with the local guys I meet. Not that we really need to have a lot in common but they seem to be into nothing more than sports, hunting, fishing or the great outdoors.

As I was telling a friend the other day, for as much as I hate camping, I could see myself doing it once in a while if I was really into the other person. There just has to be that spark there.

I don't really have much advice for you as we both seem to be in the same or a similar boat. I will say that my single female friends who are my age or older, want nothing to do with men. They'd rather be alone than with a man. Sad.

 

[de_valmont]

Have a life (offline), have and strive for your interests: Found a book club, a senior rock band, visit lectures, go swimming or nordic walking in a crowd, whatever suits you, and you will meet people. And the moment you forget you are searching, someone will come along.

 

[dolf]

I'm trying to write something supportive, but you wrote "str8", and you come across as a bit of a whiner... You're making it hard.

 

[Jada59]

I'm trying to write something supportive, but you wrote "str8", and you come across as a bit of a whiner... You're making it hard.

Yeah. The str8 put me off too.

 

[Kantarii]

Here’s an observation. High school offers people a chance to meet people in one centralized location, further aided by changing classes periodically. College would be a continuation of that as well. However, once a person settles down, the luxury of meeting numerous people in one centralized location greatly diminishes once they are single again.

So what are the options?

Online dating is successful if you can get past the idea that no one is ever going to be a perfect “10”.

For those who choose not to go that route, there’s other options: church, sporting events, school functions, shopping, etc. The key here is changing places and locations frequently. If you have the same routine of stopping at a certain store on the way to work, you limit the people you meet. Stop at a different store, get gas at another place. Go to the movies at a different time. Don’t do all your shopping at Walmart. Go to Best Buy. Go to clothing stores. Go to Publix, etc. What I’m driving at is change your routine, increase the amount of people you meet.

Will any of this help? There’s no guarantee, but doing the same things over and over doesn’t yield a different result. Sorry.

Oh, and before you run to the bar and buy someone a drink, think twice. Dating someone you meet at a bar guarantees one of two things: either they have a problem or someone got rid of a problem.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

You don't need bitches so don't worry about it.
Get laid and get out.

 

[Debbie]

You could ask your friends if they know someone who they think you might hit it off with and get an introduction that way or for your coupled up friends if they know someone and would invite them out for a couples/blind date.

You don't know till you try.

 

[docisin]

I'm trying to write something supportive, but you wrote "str8", and you come across as a bit of a whiner... You're making it hard.

Your interpretation, but thanks for taking the time to respond