Old Debate

[MasterPhoenix]

I am not really one for labels, as we each have our own way we view Dominance and submission. for example, rose and I consider her a slave, but she has much more leeway than most traditional slaves. But thats the nature of our relationship. We also infuse a lot of the Daddy babygirl dynamic further muddying the whole label thing.

If I am not making sense, skip this post. I'm tired....

 

[museofdragon]

Dragon and i use the term collared property, primarily because it has less perconceived ideas (within the community/lifestyle/whatever you call people who do what we do when they get together in large groups) attached to it.

We worry less about what labels we use and focus on function. My function is to make his life easier in any way i can. We are not big on protocol, i have a lot of leeway so long as i fulfill my function.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Since my Dom and I don't really interact with others in the BDSM lifestyle (other than this board now ) labels aren't all that important. Between the two of us we consider me as his owned collared property, his submissive but not his slave. I always have the right to say no to any of his demands. But then if I do say no then I face the consequences of my denial -- which would be his releasing me. I have never refused anything he has asked. I have asked for "clarification" (which at the beginning got to be a sort of inside joke because it was usually something that I was having difficulty mentally being totally compliant about. But he was patient and as long as I wasn't out right refusing something he would help me get into the mindset where obeying was easier. I consider this part of my training. I haven't had to ask for clarification for a rather long time now)

We also are big on protocol. He has me call him Daddy--not so much to be in a D/g relationship but because he didn't like the formality of Sir or other titles. There are many elements of a D/g relationship in our case, though.

 

[the_pet]

This is an old debate so please feel free to ignore me and refuse to comment. I don't really need an answer as i already know i how feel and like many here, i have no need for labels. I will play along with the polls and stuff but my way of life and practices are real life and too complex for such neat little boxes as labels. With that being said, I'm more interested (from your personal perspective) why you would categorize yourself and someone else the way you do. Again feel free to this is a pointless conversation.


Ok so i got into a conversation with someone who wanted to argue the difference between slave and sub. (in unison now a big MOAN, not this topic again). They said a sub is not owned, has a say in the direction of the relationship, major decisions, etc. usually only submitting as a slave as agreed upon but a slave is collared/owned, completely submits in every aspect of their life at all times. Ok i argued that i know several subs consider themselves subs and are collared but don't see themselves as slaves.


Is there a difference in the lifestyle of a slave as opposed to a sub (FROM YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE). Like with my former Master, i considered his Alpha a sub and they/she considered herself as that also. She was second in command, NOT a slave. He couldn't tell her to get up and get his phone but a slave WOULD be required to respond as commanded. But some folks see it all as submissive just different levels submission. As in "slave/sub WHATEVER" there is no difference.

I personally consider myself submissive and i submit to the level of slave daily as my lifestyle. I am completely available to him for all reasons at all times, if he wants sex, if he wants comfort, if he wants companionship, if he just wants me to sit with him, errands, chores, etc.

How do you feel about it all? (just curious because i'm starting to get to know some of y'all's personalities and am interested in your opinions for conversation as a friend if nothing else)

pet

 

[ChainedRebel]

I think too many people worry about too many things...

 

[ssinlove]

a slave is collared/owned, completely submits in every aspect of their life at all times.

i fully agree with you.

 

[Netzach]

Oy.

I actually demand more autonomy from a person I consider a slave than submissive in some ways. I expect to have to assert myself to get what I want from M, my husband. I expect H, my slave, to assert himself however he has to to get what I want done. It's all about results and net usefulness versus not. I don't really care if H *feels* owned or not - and that's part of what makes him feel owned, strangely. I don't do anything but what I please in relation to him, the idea that I'm "going for effect" has no place. My approval applies in regard to his pleasure, but my approval does not apply in terms of his usefulness - whatever he has to do for work or functionality - it's just done. I expect him to wash himself and I expect him to shave himself as I like witout reminders or intervention. I fully expect to "have to" tell M to shave something he doesn't normally or remind him to paint his toes.

Being a slave has little to do with submissive drive - a submissive slave would probably welcome a chance to just submit and not HAVE to puzzle out their owners' problems, but that's WHY I have slaves. I like having things done for me and I feel entitled to have them done for me. I like having things the way I want them without even having to think about how it happens.