Okay, we have officially gone too far!

[INSIDEYOURMIND]

Censoring Santa: Sydney says no, no, no to Ho, Ho, Ho
Posted Nov 15th 2007 2:52PM by Sarah Gilbert


Christmas (or should I say "Xmas" -- "the holiday season" maybe?) continues to be criminalized and the companies that make a business of tinsel, gaily wrapped packages and "ho, ho, ho" don't know whether to embrace or hide from the specter of political incorrectness.

I'm sorry. Did I offend you?

In the latest blow to the no-longer-holy holidays, Santas in Sydney, Australia are being urged to say "ha, ha, ha," instead of "ho, ho, ho."

Recruitment firm Westaff, which contracts with hundreds of Santas, sending them to stores and social appearances throughout Australia, has re-vamped its training. It's telling would-be Santas that the "ho ho ho" phrase "could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women," according to an Australian newspaper.

As Zac Bissonnette says, "ho, ho, ho" is offensive? I could understand if Santas were walking around calling people nappy-headed 'hos," but Santa's jolly greeting is more kid lit than gangsta rap.

After all, what does "ho, ho, ho" remind you of, more, than "'Twas the Night Before Christmas"? Can't you just see a belly bouncing like a bowl full of jelly?

Oh, dear. Now I've just offended those with larger-than-normal body types.
While Christmas is certainly much ballyhoed by businesses worldwide -- from Starbucks' frenzy over its holiday drinks to the American high holy Black Friday -- it turns out that Christmas may not even be good for the economy. (Experts posit that buying so many unwanted things ends up making us unhappy, and is wasting our resources. I'd buy that for a dollar.) Christmas is just a minefield. Emphasize Christianity and you're alienating your Jewish and Muslim customers; pull a Lowe's and call your fake spruces "Family Trees" and you'll have the Christians boycotting you. This year, thanks to the China lead paint scare, many families don't even want to buy toys unless they're made in the U.S.A., handily excluding the majority of toy companies' products.

If you are a business, can you win this year? Probably not. Unless you remember that this whole thing is supposed to be about the spirit behind "ho, ho, ho." Be jolly no matter what the size of your belly and how jelly-like its jiggles. Offer products that are good, safe and useful no matter how they're marketed in your circulars. Give a little.

And, if there's no one watching and you're really careful, maybe you can wish some of your customers a "merry Christmas!" and laugh. Ho, ho, ho.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

I agree.. this is too much.

 

[intothewoods]

Is this from The Onion?

 

[EmpressFi]

Sadly.. no..this isnt from the Onion.. it was also featured on FoxNews online....

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

This is fucking ridiculous. Don't folks have anything better to do?

 

[Puman]

It's got to make you wonder where THEIR minds are? Imagine spending your entire life inventing offensive scenarios and looking for offensive remarks that aren't actually there. What kind of person does that? Tragic.

 

[rbijon]

They are politico/pagan/dullminded/ adults who have lost their inner-child. They need a hug from a Elf, or a kick from a fly'n Raindeer!

 

[doveofserenity]

When this was shown on the morning news, one write-in said that instead of making Santa stop saying "Ho ho ho"; maybe the people need to learn to speak better grammatical English.

They asked her what she meant, she said instead of people going around calling women ho's; use whichever proper terminology they meant. Whether it be woman, lady, ma'am, or whore.

Santa is Santa. He does not get into all this political corrective terminology bs. They just need to leave him alone. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[Netzach]

This is really stupid, but fails to raise my ire as much as the price of gas this weekend.

Also, I know that the economy is tanked, but I am rocking the indie jewelry season.

I really hope I can get through the season without getting anything out of a big box retailer for other people. People who decry the fact that the little guy can't make it and then get everything off Amazon are part of the problem and I don't wanna be one. I honestly don't even bother wishing people happy chrismakwanzasorryyourholidayisn'tnowzika and just sell stuff.

Merry whatever and thank you!

That said, I still live in a region where people look at me dumbfounded, like I am seriously challenged, if I tell them I don't celebrate Christmas. It amazes me equally that there are people that sheltered, so we both look at one another like we are each idiots. To me it's too far when I've been asked by the same co-worker 85 times what I am doing for Christmas.

Kind of makes me giggle and want to cry at the same time that "ho" is so Websters now that there's live confusion. Oh, dear Deity.

 

[myinnerslut]

this is just stupid. arnt there more important things people could be doing with thier time?

 

[graceanne]

And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents
a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos

Well, it’s a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you’re easily offended well that’s okay
It’s a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.

How ‘bout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.

Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thou branched…

Why am I getting blipped again?
Haven’t you heard guys? You can’t say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday
I can’t say Chri-biip-mas?
No you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?
You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.

I’ll lead this off.

On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me…

Jimmy, are you listening?
What?
You can’t say Chri-biip-mas.
Why not?
You can say biiiip on the last record.
Why can’t I say Chri-biip-mas?
I didn’t make the rules.
Hey listen guys, it’s not that difficult,
all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.
You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say
I’m dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.
Why did I get blipped?
You’ve got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, I’m dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that won’t offend anybody.

Well, it’s a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you’re easily offended well that’s okay

Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?

It’s a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

I’m just trying to come up with a song here.
Let’s sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
I’m ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!

We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we’ve traveled real far….

Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh, come on just try.

We three kings of Asia are….

That sounds like horse biiiip
Oh lord, okay. How ‘bout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you can’t say drummer ‘cause that will offend real musicians.

How ‘bout little –hahaha- town of meddle hell.
What’s this with all the short jokes?

Hey how ‘bout we do Silent Night?
No, it’ll offend people who’s hard to hear and afraid of the dark.
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?

This happens every year.

Well, it’s a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say,
If you’re easily offended well that’s okay,
It’s a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.

Hohoho!
No.
I can’t say ho?
No you might offend some women.
So basically we can’t sing anything?

I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
Softer George it’s more effective.
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
You now what? I don’t care who we offend,
I’m gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Louder man it’s more effective.
I don’t care who we offend,
I’m gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Me too.

We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas,
we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.

We can’t say new; it’ll offend the old folks.
And you never wanna offend them.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

As far as I am aware the following media excerpts cover all major commerical bases for Santa sightings here in Sydney.

Yesterday department stores David Jones and Myers and the Westfield shopping centre chain moved to reassure children, and their parents, that Santa and his customary greeting was part of Christmas's present as well as Christmas's past.

A David Jones spokeswoman said they had discussed the situation with Westaff and their Santas would not be silenced.

"Senior management have assured us that Santas provided to David Jones have not been censored in any way," the spokeswoman said.

At Myer, where Westaff also train the fat men in red suit, Santa could not stop laughing about the suggestion.

"Myer has not directed our Santas to refrain from using 'ho, ho, ho' and believe the expression is an important Christmas tradition," a spokesman for Myer said.

Westfield's Santas are recruited and trained by RegProm Marketing and they will be "ho, ho, ho-ing" a Westfield spokeswoman said.

"Westfield Santas are known for their friendly and welcoming nature and know how to deliver a real festive 'ho, ho, ho'."

link

 

[nh23]

I for one find Santa to be a very kinky fellow. I mean he asks me to sit on his lap, and then he asks me if I've been a good girl. Then he calls me a ho ho ho. Now if only I could find a way to get him to pull my hair...

 

[Mazuri]

And if you've been bad, he gives you switches. Maybe they do need to look into this shifty Santa fellow lol

I for one find Santa to be a very kinky fellow. I mean he asks me to sit on his lap, and then he asks me if I've been a good girl. Then he calls me a ho ho ho. Now if only I could find a way to get him to pull my hair...