Okay, so she's "hard"...

[Quiet_Cool]

...or so she tells me last night. Haven't gotten that far, though it would appear that things will escalate to that this weekend. So I'm here thinking...
Hard.
Is that something I think I can get her past? She seemed to be more than into what we were up to last night (and maybe I should have gone ahead and carried it further, regardless of the fact that we were in a public parking lot at 1 am ) it's more than possible that, if I keep driving at it, she might just get there, so long as I take my time and pay attention to her reactions. Besides, she's also admitted, when I suggested it, that she was more than willing to toss out pointers if she felt they were needed.
Any suggestions, anyone?
What might help if I run into a tough spot?
I'm all ears,people. If what you say is something I've heard a million times, go ahead and say it anyway. There might be a step in there I haven't thought of or tried.

Q_C

 

[English Lady]

take it slow, keep attentive, touch when you can, subtly. Seduce her. Sounds like thats what she wants, she wants you to seduce your way into her pants.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

take it slow, keep attentive, touch when you can, subtly. Seduce her. Sounds like thats what she wants, she wants you to seduce your way into her pants.

Um... Actually, her pants aren't going to be hard to get off. lol She let me in them last night, we just went in the oral direction for reasons of safety and convenience. What I mean by "hard" is that she has trouble reaching orgasm, or at least doesn't do so easily.

Q_C

 

[elsol]

What I mean by "hard" is that she has trouble reaching orgasm, or at least doesn't do so easily.

Q_C

Does are the good ones...

Patience, perseverence, and an orgasm training program.

Let me be frank... when a woman says 'that', I smile. They're so much easier than the 'easy' ones.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[English Lady]

ooooooohhhhh

*light switches on, EL's NaNo filled brain catches up*

the lgiht dawns!

Right, let me think.

Don't make the orgasm the goal, don't keep asking her if shes cum yet or anything like that, just relax and have fun. Doing that, hopefully she'll relax and be able to communicate what she needs to you.

Find out if she can make herself cum, if she can ask her how, or ask her to show you, if you think you can and ttake her lead.

it becomes much, much harder if she can't make herself orgasm.


(On a side note, someone being "hard" over here in my corner of England, means they are a bit of a tough, not someone you want to get into a fight with!)

 

[sophia jane]

Often, women think they're "hard" because one lover was an asshole. Maybe even two. If she's been with dumbasses who thought penetration alone was going to get her there and then blamed her for not coming, she's going to blame herself. Girls do that. So I recommend, being patient. Alot of the orgasm thing is mental, so if she thinks she's "hard" she'll make it that way. You've got to tell her you don't mind if she doesn't come, tell her you just want to give her pleasure, tell her to relax and enjoy your attentions, tell her you enjoy the way she tastes and feels, and then go down on her and give it your all.
If the pressure is off and she thinks she's doing you a favor by letting you between her legs, she's more likely to come.

Just my 2cents.

 

[Lord DragonsWing]

EL is right. Enjoy it. Relax and she'll cum. Feel each movement, feel the effect you have. Communicate with her and ask what she enjoys. You are there to please her and you understand that.
As EL said, enjoy it. That means to shut your eyes and feel each movement. To learn each action that moves her. Then capitalize on it to please her.
Each of us has our own trigger. Enjoy learning your lovers trigger. And when you do, she'll love every minute of it. She'll also enjoy the exploring to learn it. Then, you'll really have fun.

 

[SeaCat]

Oh brother are you in a tough spot here my friend. This is going to be one of the hardest things you have ever done. You are going to have to learn to relax. More importantly you are going to have to teach her to relax. This is much harder than it sounds, but not quite as hard as taking a good dump after a night of drinking Guiness.

Honestly the two of you are going to have to teach each other to relax. She is going to have to relax around you and teach you what feels good for her. She is also going to have to relax and realise that orgasm is not the ultimate goal. You are going to have to relax, learn to go slow, learn what feels good to her. More importantly you are going to have to learn not to pressure her into thinking she needs to have an orgasm.

Once the two of you have reached this point, the point where she doesn't feel pressured, then the fireworks will fly.

Cat

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Does are the good ones...

Patience, perseverence, and an orgasm training program.

Let me be frank... when a woman says 'that', I smile. They're so much easier than the 'easy' ones.

Sincerely,
ElSol

You need to come to my house.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Follow all of that advice about relaxing and not making this the Death March to Batan.

Once you're enjoying each other and having fun, if she's got a bit of freak on and you're still looking for inspiration, coax her into domming you. It's one of the more interesting ways to communicate "do this."

 

[carsonshepherd]

ooooooohhhhh

*light switches on, EL's NaNo filled brain catches up*

the lgiht dawns!

explain it to me?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I agree with everyone here, don't make orgasm your first goal. But at the same time, it would be nice, right? So here's some advice from the old dyke;

At first, pretend you just don't have a dick. Then, later, you can pretend you do!

Some comparative anatomy might be fun to know;
Her G Spot, as you probably have heard, is a pad of tissue about fingertip deep, on the front wall of her vagina- it surrounds her urethra, and is pretty much identical to your prostate. There's a thick cable of nerves that runs from it and ends inside her clit, just the way your nerve endings run between your prostate and the head of your dick... Treat it nice, stroking it gently at first. you WILL feel it swell, and then you can be more forceful.

Another great trick is sucking- just get her clit, along with as much of her labia as you can, into your mouth and suck, just the way you'd want to be sucked. Make your cheeks hollow, buddy! Do that for a minute or two, or threet. Then let up for a bit, then do it again. You'll see her labia flush as you pull a lot of blood into them. Pretend you have no idea what this is doing to her, but once you go in, she may well have a hair-trigger she never knew about!

Good luck, tiger!

 

[English Lady]

explain it to me?

Do I have to give you the bird and the bees talk now sonny?

The lady in question finds it hard to orgasm, she's "hard." you see, in a term that isn't British ( if she were hard in British terms, QC would be running, far, far in the opposite direction from a Giant Haystacks of a woman) and basically QC would like some pointers as to how to get her to enjoy the impending sex.


Did that help, love?

 

[carsonshepherd]

Do I have to give you the bird and the bees talk now sonny?

The lady in question finds it hard to orgasm, she's "hard." you see, in a term that isn't British ( if she were hard in British terms, QC would be running, far, far in the opposite direction from a Giant Haystacks of a woman) and basically QC would like some pointers as to how to get her to enjoy the impending sex.


Did that help, love?

Thank you.

 

[English Lady]

Thank you.

My pleasure

 

[lil_elvis]

Can't add much to what's been said, but hopefully you'll find a better locale than a parking lot. Take your time and concentrate on her whoe body - massages are great for relaxation and slowly working your way towards errogenous zones. You'd want to feel her body relax before trying to turn it on.

 

[elsol]

You need to come to my house.

You poor, dear.

*sigh*

And it's just so easy...

A little attention to detail, a dash of anticipation, a sprinkle of care... a few weeks of positive reinforcement and when I say "I'm horny" just like magic she's horny too.

I guess I'm just a 'delayed satisfaction' kind of guy.

Sincerely,
ElSol

ps. Yeah, it's fucking cold. So what? And the end of the day, I get control of the TV remote, that's all that matters!

 

[Stella_Omega]

There are far, far worse ways to be cold, elsol...

 

[MissBri]

 

[wishfulthinking]

ooooooohhhhh

*light switches on, EL's NaNo filled brain catches up*

the lgiht dawns!

Right, let me think.

Don't make the orgasm the goal, don't keep asking her if shes cum yet or anything like that, just relax and have fun. Doing that, hopefully she'll relax and be able to communicate what she needs to you.

Find out if she can make herself cum, if she can ask her how, or ask her to show you, if you think you can and ttake her lead.

it becomes much, much harder if she can't make herself orgasm.


(On a side note, someone being "hard" over here in my corner of England, means they are a bit of a tough, not someone you want to get into a fight with!)

I was confused too! I thought he meant the opposite of easy, that is, not getting near the pants at all!

My 2c is stick to locations that have low pressure and low expectation values like you are already doing rather than bedrooms and stuff. You know, bed = sex v. outdoors/car etc = fooling around = fun.

 

[Guest]

You poor, dear.

*sigh*

And it's just so easy...

A little attention to detail, a dash of anticipation, a sprinkle of care... a few weeks of positive reinforcement and when I say "I'm horny" just like magic she's horny too.

I guess I'm just a 'delayed satisfaction' kind of guy.

Sincerely,
ElSol

ps. Yeah, it's fucking cold. So what? And the end of the day, I get control of the TV remote, that's all that matters!

you sound so ...harry connick jr.
"and that's the recipe for making love to you."

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I used to be a "hard" girl.
Then I realized I was gay.
Since the first time I took a woman to bed instead of a man there hasn't been an issue one.

Go figgah.

It was all mental for me. I wasn't into it with him and thus nothing worked right.

~lucky

 

[Stella_Omega]

I used to be a "hard" girl.
Then I realized I was gay.
Since the first time I took a woman to bed instead of a man there hasn't been an issue one.

Go figgah.

It was all mental for me. I wasn't into it with him and thus nothing worked right.

~lucky

My last girl friend got propositioned all the time. (I always loved that- partly because she was a big, fat butch-looking thing, and I figured any guy who found her sexy was smarter- MUCH smarter- than your average bear.)
Someone asked her why she wouldn't marry him, and she said; "Because I like my orgasms"

 

[SeaCat]

Okay I've been thinking about this a bit.

As many of you know I'm not so much into sex per se as the sensuousness of the act. (Okay yeah, I like to blow my load as well as the next cat but.,,,)

My wife and I once hooked up with a young lady who claimed she had never had an orgasm. Her husband was an ass and could care less about what she felt. My wife had me take her to bed. (No I didn't fuck her, but I did do other things to her. )

I had this young lady, who was as nervouse as a virgin at Homecoming take a nice long bath. As she stepped out of the bath, to which I kept adding hot water when it cooled I dried her body. (Yes I did wash her back.) When she was dry I led her to the bedroom which my wife and I had lit using only candles. Having her lay down, face first on the bed, I covered her with a blanket so she wouldn't get chilled. (It was the middle of winter in New England.) When she was settled I grabbed the supplies I had set to the side, namely a bottle of warm oil and a hand towel.

I gave this young lady a full body massage. I started at her shoulders and worked my way down her body before rolling her over. During this massage the only thing to touch her body was my fingertips. By the time I was done she was nearly comatose.

Rolling her over again I started again, this time I let my lips and tongue follow my fingers as they traveled over her body, and I do mean over her entire body. It took me almost two hours to do this but by the time I had kissed and nibbled on her toes she was quivering. I couldn't believe it, this woman who claimed she was frigid, who claimed to have never had an orgasm was so excited she was shaking. The only part of her body I had not touched was her sex. (She later told me that by the time I had finished with her nipples they had been so hard they ached.)

When I finally touched her between her legs she had an orgasm, her first. When I started running my tongue over her she had another. When I sucked her clit between my lips and started working my tongue and teeth over it she screamed.

Granted it took me a while, it took me a lot of effort but I made this young woman who thought she was frigid, who thought she couldn't have an orgasm, who thought she was doomed to barely enjoy sex have more than one orgasm in one night. It was worth it even though I never did get to slip her the hard one. I knew that she now knew that she had been wrong. All it took was some time, some effort and some patience on my part to make this woman understand why sex is so enjoyable.

Cat

 

[lucky-E-leven]

My last girl friend got propositioned all the time. (I always loved that- partly because she was a big, fat butch-looking thing, and I figured any guy who found her sexy was smarter- MUCH smarter- than your average bear.)
Someone asked her why she wouldn't marry him, and she said; "Because I like my orgasms"

Woman after my own heart.