OK, so i have a question.

[MaeveoSliabh]

Is it somewhat normal for a man to be able to get an erection, maintain it, go through the act of sex in various positions and orifices, and just not be able to cum? It's happened with the Bodyguard and i a couple of times in the past few weeks, and i'm really kind of worried it's something i'm not doing, or not doing right, or whatever. Would be nice to know if it IS me, or if it happens fairly often to other people, too.

 

[English Lady]

Happens to my hubs sometimes too but usually it's connected to him taking painkillers.

This morning we had sex for about an hour and a half before he was able to come. By gum, it's exhausting *L*

 

[rgraham666]

Yes it is.

When I last got laid, about a year ago, I didn't come.

Mostly because I was a lot more concerned about her orgasms than mine. I can't speak for other men but I have to be in the right mindset to come, and my mind was focused on her not me.

Also, I had forgotten how to come when with a woman. It had been so long my body just couldn't interpret the signals well enough to allow me to orgasm. I doubt that's your bodyguard's problem though.

I hope that helps.

 

[CharleyH]

Yes it is.

When I last got laid, about a year ago, I didn't come.

Mostly because I was a lot more concerned about her orgasms than mine. I can't speak for other men but I have to be in the right mindset to come, and my mind was focused on her not me.

Also, I had forgotten how to come when with a woman. It had been so long my body just couldn't interpret the signals well enough to allow me to orgasm. I doubt that's your bodyguard's problem though.

I hope that helps.

A good answer to consider, Maeveo.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I've had that problem while masturbating. Several times, recently no less. It's probably not you. Especially not if he is maintaining an erection for a long period of time. The fact that he keeps going is because he is so attracted to you. The fact that he isn't finishing is something he has to deal with.

Although if this turns out to be a medical problem someone please let me know too? I'd hate to find out that I have something wrong that can be fixed

 

[Trombonus]

I've had that problem sometimes. I think it's usually because I think too hard about it, and don't let yself feel through it sometimes. Also having sex with a condom makes it harder for me at least. Not that that stops me from using one.

 

[jomar]

Issues like depression and medication can also affect performance - that way.

 

[Huckleman2000]

I know from experience that this is a very common side-effect of certain types of anti-depressant drugs. Maybe other drugs as well. Alcohol, for sure.

Sometimes, I've just faked it.

 

[kinkikittyn]

. . . . .

 

[elsol]

Being tired can also affect it; as well as having 'too much' fun.

For tired, he has to just plain focus on getting off... which can be tough.

For having too much... it's take a break and then get back into it when he's calmed down some.

 

[kendo1]

Maybe he just wants you to come?

I'm quite selfish that way. I get a lot of pleasure watching her (the wife ) come, at the expense of finishing myself. The trouble being that she then rolls over and goes to sleep.

Sometimes, from my own experience, the right buttons are just not pressed, or not pressed for long enough. It's no big deal, just part of getting older.

Afterall, he's no spring chicken.

I'd worry more if there was a problem getting an erection.

As an afterthought, sometimes a change of venue for the performance ( ) can work wonders. Try the kitchen table, the car - you get the idea.



Ken

 

[kinkikittyn]

Thoughts

. . . . .

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Just going to echo the other gentlemens answer...

There have been a number of times when my darling wife and I would be together for an hour or so and I was quite exhausted and was unable to cum.

And like Rob said, I was really more focused on her having a good time then me, my pleasure comes from her pleasure. So I really didn't need to orgasm, as she had many, many orgasms those nights.

 

[Liar]

I have reoccuring headaches. it's either migraine like stabs, or drawn out hints of ache. When I have that not-quite-pain thing, erection whithout orgasm happens every time. Because it's not annoying enough to NOT get randy, but as I get closer to orgasm, my head hurts more. Not really hurts much, just more, but distracting enough to cool me off a little and hold off the o.

The ladies (et al) seems to appreciate the state, so I usually grin and bear it. If all I wanted was to cum, what would be the point of a partner in bed?

 

[starrkers]

My husband does the same thing sometimes - "forgets" to come. He says he's more interested in making sure I have fun.
I ain't complaining , but do sometimes feel a bit guilty about it. So every now and then I ambush him and make sure he gets off first

 

[rgraham666]

My husband does the same thing sometimes - "forgets" to come. He says he's more interested in making sure I have fun.
I ain't complaining , but do sometimes feel a bit guilty about it. So every now and then I ambush him and make sure he gets off first

I'll try hard not to be envious of the man.

I failed.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Is it somewhat normal for a man to be able to get an erection, maintain it, go through the act of sex in various positions and orifices, and just not be able to cum? It's happened with the Bodyguard and i a couple of times in the past few weeks, and i'm really kind of worried it's something i'm not doing, or not doing right, or whatever. Would be nice to know if it IS me, or if it happens fairly often to other people, too.

This has happened to me a few times, when I have been getting a lot, and was not really horny. It has also happened when I had been drinking, not so much that I couldn't get an erection, but enough that I couldn't cum.

 

[Huckleman2000]

I will admit that it's happened to me when I really wasn't focused on 'her pleasure'. Or, I wasn't any more. There's the circumstance when she's 'done', and you're still pumping away, and it very soon gets really frustrating for both of you. I guess it's sort of like saying 'I love you', and your partner says 'Thanks' instead of 'I love you, too'.

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

OK, i feel much better about this. Thanks, everybody!

He has been under quite a bit of stress lately, and when it happened this morning it was already after a few rounds, sooo....

Just hope it doesn't happen too often. Nothing like being able to feel him cum. Rowr!

 

[SimpleGifts]

It's getting to be a chronic problem with me when I'm with my wife. Much of it is stress-related and from exhaustion. So if he's been stressed, then that's a very likely culprit.

I will say that my wife does things which turn me off--especially the whole "I got mine, so you just take care of yourself" attitude. Like someone else said, if you're feeling self-conscious about his inability to finish, then try just focusing on HIM sometime and see how he does. I bet he'll respond very well--and thank you for it properly, too.

SG

 

[only_more_so]

Is it somewhat normal for a man to be able to get an erection, maintain it, go through the act of sex in various positions and orifices, and just not be able to cum? It's happened with the Bodyguard and i a couple of times in the past few weeks, and i'm really kind of worried it's something i'm not doing, or not doing right, or whatever. Would be nice to know if it IS me, or if it happens fairly often to other people, too.

It's happened to me. I actually faked an orgasm once because my girlfriend really wanted to make me come but I couldn't. I felt so guilty I told her about it a few minutes later, but I still did it.

Anyway, when it's happened to me it was usually because I had come to recently (I find that even though I can get hard again soon after, that if I do I won't be able to come). It also happens when drunk, although usually that only takes longer. It's also happened that I was holding off my orgasm for her pleasure, that when I wanted to cut loose I couldn't seem to finish climbing the hill.

 

[rgraham666]

I got into the habit of faking orgasms with my ex-wife.

 

[cricketbug]

...dare I say it's you?.... *cackles, ducks and runs*....Just teasing you huh - I can see you giving me "that look!"

Seriously though, with what you've said, most likely not you. The other half has the same problem - mostly when he's been drinking or is stressed. He actually told me once, "I'm not gonna cum....so it's all about you." Wow - shock and awe!

 

[yevkassem72]

It is often stress or the need to urinate. At least in my experience.

Does he smoke? Smoking constricts circulation and may thus reduce blood flow to the penis, thus slowing ejaculation. Not I am in any place to judge. I smoke like a chimney.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

For tired, he has to just plain focus on getting off... which can be tough.

Really? I mean, I'm not disbelieving you. It's a genuine question.

Are there times when you (not only you specifically) have to focus on getting off? I find that extremely interesting. It's the opposite for me. I need to completely loose myself, and "let go" to orgasm.

*ponders*