Ok...let 'splain' something to the whole class

[Antfarmer77]

Firstly, I'd like to thanks everyone for the feedback and emails concerning my stories. I seriously do appreciate all the criticism and suggestions as much as I appreciate the nice stuff you all have said, but I want to address this one thing that seems to be a constant topic in several of the emails. Ok....
I knowwwwww the city of Richmond fell in 1865 during the US Civil War. This is from my story "1863: The Fall of Richmond"

A year after Sandra's husband, John Richmond, had gone missing after the Battle of Shiloh, she followed his wishes, that upon his death, all their slaves would be freed. Sandra did this, and one by one they all drifted off, all but young Ezra.

See? Her husband's last name ( and coincedently her's as well) was Richmond, just like the town. So it was she who "fell" ( meaning she broke all traditions and mores of the time and had sex with a black man), not the town, well ok the town did fall, but not for two more years LOL
Once again, I only say this to make it clear. And I hope you all keep enjoying my stories, and thanks again for all the comments and feedback.
...as you were...

 

[CharleyH]

but I want to address this one thing that seems to be a constant topic in several of the emails. Ok....
I knowwwwww the city of Richmond fell in 1865 during the US Civil War. This is from my story "1863: The Fall of Richmond" See? Her husband's last name ( and coincedently her's as well) was Richmond, just like the town. So it was she who "fell" ( meaning she broke all traditions and mores of the time and had sex with a black man), not the town, well ok the town did fall, but not for two more years LOL
Once again, I only say this to make it clear.

I think this best be moved to a place where people commented on your story? I never read your story and won't likely read it due to this thread, but if I had? I would find this post seriously insulting to my intelligence as a person who can certainly put two and two in a simple analogy together? If you need to qualify your use of analogy, parallell and metaphor? Well, love, one wonders if you, as a writer even got it since you seem so bent on proving yourself? Don't get all up in arms with me - its what you post, not your story that is debasing to your readers - not to me. Just saying.

 

[Antfarmer77]

I think this best be moved to a place where people commented on your story? I never read your story and won't likely read it due to this thread, but if I had? I would find this post seriously insulting to my intelligence as a person who can certainly put two and two in a simple analogy together? If you need to qualify your use of analogy, parallell and metaphor? Well, love, one wonders if you, as a writer even got it since you seem so bent on proving yourself? Don't get all up in arms with me - its what you post, not your story that is debasing to your readers - not to me. Just saying.

I apologize to anyone else who feels I was talking down to them. I was merely clarifying the dates and/or their meaning to the story.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Antfarmer, if this is coming up in many of your FB's, you could re-post the story, with an author's note at the beginning. Some stories just need that!

 

[kendo1]

And Charley, don't overestimate the intelligence of the readers.

Ken the black and blue butterfly

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Firstly, I'd like to thanks everyone for the feedback and emails concerning my stories. I seriously do appreciate all the criticism and suggestions as much as I appreciate the nice stuff you all have said, but I want to address this one thing that seems to be a constant topic in several of the emails. Ok....
I knowwwwww the city of Richmond fell in 1865 during the US Civil War. This is from my story "1863: The Fall of Richmond" See? Her husband's last name ( and coincedently her's as well) was Richmond, just like the town. So it was she who "fell" ( meaning she broke all traditions and mores of the time and had sex with a black man), not the town, well ok the town did fall, but not for two more years LOL
Once again, I only say this to make it clear. And I hope you all keep enjoying my stories, and thanks again for all the comments and feedback.
...as you were...

If what you consider a significant percentage of the FB brings this up, it might be worth your time to ponder whether that play on words is worth the confusion it appears to create in the minds of some readers. If you decide to keep it, then you probably should consider how to do so with less confusion.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

.....

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I knowwwwww the city of Richmond fell in 1865 during the US Civil War. This is from my story "1863: The Fall of Richmond" See? Her husband's last name ( and coincedently her's as well) was Richmond, just like the town. So it was she who "fell" ( meaning she broke all traditions and mores of the time and had sex with a black man), not the town, well ok the town did fall, but not for two more years LOL

You know, this could have worked as a cool wordplay for the title, if Sandra had fallen in 1865, just like the city. The wordplay would make more sense then, and even those who wouldn't get it, would have no reason to complain either. Is there some cosmic alignment reason for her to have to fall two years earlier?

 

[FallingToFly]

Thanks Antfarmer..

For attempting to clear up ssomething that your readers are obviously having trouble with.

I do agree with Stella- perhaps an authors note- adjust the title, maybe (it's difficult, as it requires removing the story, losing all your votes, comments, etc, and having to repost it with the new title) Or perhaps leave a public comment of your own on the story, explaining that to the readers, and assuring them that you'll fix it as soon as you figure out how to reword it. Perhaps you can even ask for advice from the readers?

After all, they are the target audience, and what they want should, at some point, come into play.

 

[Antfarmer77]

You know, this could have worked as a cool wordplay for the title, if Sandra had fallen in 1865, just like the city. The wordplay would make more sense then, and even those who wouldn't get it, would have no reason to complain either. Is there some cosmic alignment reason for her to have to fall two years earlier?

If there was a thought behind the year I picked I've forgotten it...LOL. But I love your wordplay idea!! I wish I had done it different now for sure!

 

[3113]

If there was a thought behind the year I picked I've forgotten it...LOL. But I love your wordplay idea!! I wish I had done it different now for sure!

Well, good thing about internet stories, especially those on Lit. You can edit them and repost without any loss of comments or voting. So, why not give it a fix?

 

[Antfarmer77]

For attempting to clear up ssomething that your readers are obviously having trouble with. I do agree with Stella- perhaps an authors note- adjust the title, maybe (it's difficult, as it requires removing the story, losing all your votes, comments, etc, and having to repost it with the new title.

Well, good thing about internet stories, especially those on Lit. You can edit them and repost without any loss of comments or voting. So, why not give it a fix?

I guess I'm not very savvy with what's all involved to edit my story, and this is the only [font=red} H [/font] I have ( or may ever have LOL). Maybe it'll be a good reminder to be more articulate and reader conscious (sp) in my future titles. Thanks to everyone for their input, I've learned alot from this thread, from how I present my stories to how I present my whines, I hope I glean enough to help me improve, if just a little, for future stories.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I guess I'm not very savvy with what's all involved to edit my story, and this is the only [font=red} H [/font] I have ( or may ever have LOL). Maybe it'll be a good reminder to be more articulate and reader conscious (sp) in my future titles. Thanks to everyone for their input, I've learned alot from this thread, from how I present my stories to how I present my whines, I hope I glean enough to help me improve, if just a little, for future stories.

If you change your mind and decide to have it edited, let me know and I'll help you. Edited stories retain all views and votes, so your H would stand as is.

 

[sincerely_helene]

If you change your mind and decide to have it edited, let me know and I'll help you. Edited stories retain all views and votes, so your H would stand as is.

Are you positive of that?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Yep. Not only is says so in the guidelines, but it has always happened with my own edits.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Yep. Not only is says so in the guidelines, but it has always happened with my own edits.

Ah, I probably just went through the wrong process in the past or something. Thanks.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

No problem. What process did you use?

 

[sincerely_helene]

No problem. What process did you use?

It was so long ago, I only vaguely recall. I think I followed some sort of HTML procedure someone had given me for the title line, and then re-submitted it.

Whatever it was I did, I obviously did it wrong.

 

[Stella_Omega]

YOu submit the edited version with the original title- FTF is correct about that- and the word :EDIT in the title.
I think adding a note would be fine. I make mine a little chatty, don't know it it helps or not..

 

[CharleyH]

And Charley, don't overestimate the intelligence of the readers.

Ken the black and blue butterfly

Don't underestimate either, Ken - thats much MUCH worse! lol

No apologies AntF, not a necessity - I was just saying an opinion. Besides, no one had posted to you yet and I thought I might be able to garner some replies.