ok everyone here is the start of my story any suggestions??

nessarios

Virgin
Joined
May 14, 2005
Posts
6
Hola todos!!

ok after a lot of discussion I decided that my story its based a bit on my real life experience but I added a few things:

Rosa has 21 years, she is 5' tall, 125lbs, long black hair, lite brown eyes and light skin.She is married to Manny who has 30 years he is 5'4 and has a lite brown skin. They just move in next door to the apartment where a black guy is living. His name is Jamal he is 6'4, 258lbs former basketball player but got injured.

Rosa has always been loyal to Manny. She never thought about a nother man she never had someone so bigger than her or someone that is black.

On the first day Jamal goes outside his apartment and sees Rosa moving things in to the apartment. He eyes her for a while then goes over and offers to help. When her husband is going down the elevator to bring up more of their items Jamal forces Rosa into the bathroom.
 
This going to be a rape/non-consent story, or one that ends up with her wanting to be seduced/fucked by the guy next door?

Two totally different story lines. Which way are you thinking of going?
 
A little bit of work needs to be done with grammar, spelling, tenses, verb agreement, etc.
 
Nessarios and I have been chatting some in PMs and I have a feeling that English may not be his native tongue. He was asking me for some help and advice with writing and I said a great way to go would be to update his thread with his ideas, etc., so he could get more feed back and help and then to find an editor when he's ready. :)
 
BedtimeStories said:
Nessarios and I have been chatting some in PMs and I have a feeling that English may not be his native tongue. He was asking me for some help and advice with writing and I said a great way to go would be to update his thread with his ideas, etc., so he could get more feed back and help and then to find an editor when he's ready. :)

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. :) Bravo for trying to write a story in a different language - talk about difficult.
 
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