Oh GAWD! How do you mom's and dad's do it???

[SempreAngela]

I am keeping my friend's baby tonight. A ten month old that looks like a doll out of a magazine. However, in 6 hours this little ten month old wrecking crew of one has taken up my carpet on opposite sides of the room. He has found a piece of tile in the kitchen that, apparently, needed to come up because he pulled it up. He has proven that child safety gates are only safe for small dogs, he has torn this one loose from the hinges.

I decided I would not let this little infant get the best of me. We would go to the store, surely all the new sights there would keep him entertained. NO WAY! He went from the child seat to the inside the cart itself, and then back and then the inside again. He decided he wanted out, ok fine. He twisted in my arms so much that I am sure he cooled the store off by 20 degrees just by his spinning. I came out of the store with a lot more that I KNOW that I put in that cart and did not get half of what I intended to purchase!

Still, I would not let this little bundle of joy (gritting my teeth now) get me down. BATH TIME! I read somewhere that a warm bath will soothe the savage beast. Well it may soothe beasts but it does nothing for children. While I was reaching for the baby shampoo he eats the soap and wailed loudly of course. Not too happy with the taste but seeing the bubbles come out of his mouth he liked. I learned that water is not meant to be in the tub, it looks much better on the floor. Toys in the tub are not cool but shampoo bottles rock! Getting dried off is the pits and having jammies put on sucks lemons.

Ok, I am still not giving up. A little play time and surely this little 20 pounder will get sleepy. I had purchased him a brand new pair of reebocks for infants and they are not cheap, trust me. One of the shoes has now been christened in La Commode, the other is AWOL and we hold little hope for its recovery.

*sigh* Now with thoughts of giving up but no one to call to take him and the police tell me that what he is doing is not a crime, laughed and hung up in my face. Perhaps he is hungry. Apparently not. You would be amazed at how far vanilla custard can be spit by a ten month old and it causes such glee when it lands on the babysitter's face! The force behind the spit must be awesome because I can truly say it stung a bit when it hit my face not to mention my eyes. That's ok, I think I needed a cornea transplant anyway.

BEDTIME!! Rocking does not work as I have seen on tv. Reading is only fun because pages can be torn to shreds. WHEW! I think I will lie down with him and see if he will go to sleep. But WAIT! What's that smell? Oh GAWD! He has left a deposit in his diaper. Do you people have any idea how strong a ten month old can be that does not want his diaper changed, not to mention how strong their deposits smell? He crawls around as I am trying to clean him and put a diaper back on him. I am glad that he started pulling the carpet up because with those stains on it now, IT HAS to come up.

We finally lie down. He twists turns, kicks, bites at my most tender areas, eyes are not off limits to him either, apparently, cries, scratches. OH GAWD, I am sure I am in hell!! After about 30 minutes of this, no movement, except for even breathing on his part. I stopped breathing 15 minutes ago, it might disturb him. CAN IT BE? IS HE ASLEEP??? YESSSSS!!!!! OH GAWD YES, he is asleep. I feel like I have run the Boston marathon, the triatholon and won a gold medal for speed skating. And he is only ten months old. I can hardly wait till he starts walking. How DO you Mom's and Dad's do this full time? I used to want children, but I think I will buy a cabbage patch kid. GAWD am I tired!!!!

 

[roxie]

Take heart, Sempre! It happens to the best of us. At least you weren't bored! Just try and keep your sanity. It will pass! And remember, the best part about babysitting is the fact that eventually the kids go home!

 

[LRC]

Now you know why God made babies so cute

 

[mistyc]

Welcome to the world of babies. They rule the roost so to speak.

I am thankful mine are teens and 20s. Reading what you posted reminded me of when mine were that age. Very exausting. You also deserve the Medal of Honor.

Be thankful that you didn't have to get into a car at 3am in the morning, pick up baby, pop them in capsule and drive 17 times round the block to get them to sleep. LOL. I had that problem with my youngest. She wouldn't sleep. Then to top it off I get pulled over by the police thinking I was up to no good. Naturally she woke up, so I got the capsule, took it to the police car, strapped it in then told him to get her back to sleep.

You indeed have run the marathon. Makes me wonder after the first one is born why we go back for seconds, thirds etc. Not only that how we had the energy to conceive them.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

. It will pass!

Sure it will. So will a kidney stone. But not quickly and not without pain; says the father of three. RF

 

[BlondGirl]

Next time you head for the grocery story with Jr, hit the paper towel aisle first. Then with the sweet hellion in the seat in the front, pack a roll of paper towels between his belly and the front. Make sure the fit is proper, if not, choose one of a different thickenss/volume that is appropriate. He can play drums on it and won't be able to budge much.

If he pitches a fit, smile sweetly and push the basket to the back corner of the store. State sternly, "TIME OUT!" Then move over to examine something that is terribly interresting while being able to use your peripherial vision to make sure Jr doesn't get out of the paper towel prison. He'll get the hint and cease testing testing your limits for a bit.

When he is quiet, resume shopping. Don't put the towels back, you will likely need them later!

 

[SempreAngela]

Aww, Mistyc, it isn't 3am here yet. *crying loudly* Oh kill me now!! I am too damn tired to drive. LOL!! Every Mom and Dad has my utmost respect. This is unreal!!!

 

[SempreAngela]

Next time you head for the grocery story with Jr, hit the paper towel aisle first. Then with the sweet hellion in the seat in the front, pack a roll of paper towels between his belly and the front. Make sure the fit is proper, if not, choose one of a different thickenss/volume that is appropriate. He can play drums on it and won't be able to budge much.

If he pitches a fit, smile sweetly and push the basket to the back corner of the store. State sternly, "TIME OUT!" Then move over to examine something that is terribly interresting while being able to use your peripherial vision to make sure Jr doesn't get out of the paper towel prison. He'll get the hint and cease testing testing your limits for a bit.

When he is quiet, resume shopping. Don't put the towels back, you will likely need them later!

Now you tell me, Blondgirl. LOL! I will never shop with him again. If we never eat again I just hate the hell out of it, I cannot go through that again. I think that my spine is terribly twisted now if not completely broken. *sigh*

 

[welshman599]

That was a delightful description of your evening and that IS a pretty accurate picture of the average day! I have a three year old (and a nineteen year old - long story!) and, believe me, every day of the past three years has begun no later than 7am and played out just like your day. It does make you wonder what the hell we did this for!

But at some point, that holy terror robber of our sleep and wrecker of our home became daddy's little man; the little set of hands right beside you as you assembled a tricycle; the pair of loving eyes receiving his first ice cream cone (da blue one dad); the feverish brow and low moan of your sick baby; the fright-tinged trust as the asthma inhaller-mask closes over his face.

The room is still messy and littered with toys; our nights are still way too short and our lives too restricted, but we still wouldn't have it another way.

But since you have some experience now, we could use a sitter!

 

[SempreAngela]

In your dreams, Welshman. LOL! I just do not think I could do this often. I think I will be celibate now, I really do not want to take any chances. LOL! I do understand what you are saying and I will always cherish the memories this little guy is making for me, even the not so good evenings.

 

[Pan718]

Laughing...

And wait til they get a little older, hun...

It's best that you make some choices in life without understanding fully what you're getting into!

 

[welshman599]

No, you don't understand... we really REALLY need a sitter. I have cash! Heehee.

 

[SempreAngela]

Welshman, I will call Pan718 and see if he can babysit for you. LOL! So I guess y'all are telling me this is normal? WOW! I think I will go back to the abnormal now, this is exhausting!!

 

[Ishmael]

Mom's and Dad's

Sempre,

Loved your description. Went through that with two of my own. (Was one of the early had custody of the kids Dads.)

But now they're grown. Educated, healthy, happy, married, and having kids of their own.

I'm a grandfather now and do you know what that means?

**************REVENGE******************

Hehehehehe.

Ishmael

 

[cyn1959]

Oh, I love that one, REVENGE....can't wait.

My son is 19 and engaged to an older grirl who has a 7 yr old boy. so ta-da! instant grandmother here! My son, who put me through absolute hell from day one, keeps saying, "Mom I am so sorry for everything I ever did" LOL now that he sees what it's like....

I love the stories here and comments, and yes brings back memories of walking back and forth all night long with teething daughter in arms. But I don't know, somehow would prefer that to listening to n'sync 24/7????LOL babies are sweet but test our resources to the limit.

I remember when first pregnant, oh I was in a cloud and all I could think of were the cute little clothes (that it turned out I couldn't afford) and the love the baby would give me (only if I let him nurse my tits all the time) and that sweet powdery smell of a new baby (only to find out, yes it takes alot of work to get baby to smell that way, and then he craps the diaper again)

Great thread. I usually don't give advice. But to the young people who want to start a family right away: wait a year or so. give yourselves some time to enjoy being together just the two of you.
And never, NEVER have more than 2 kids....because three means there is one more of them than you!

Cynthia Zane

 

[Massive Grooves]

The original story was a great reminder of my oldest. Then we had another a year and a half later. She was easy compared to the first. The first one we couldn't keep out of things, we put the gates up that she immediately climbed over, the locks on the cupboards, she broke into, she climbed up everything in no time.

It was unnecessary to use any of those devices on my second. If we told her not to do something, she didn't (we always thought that was weird). It hasn't been all that long, but they are much easier now, and they will (could) entertain themselves. We also get more sleep now.

I wouldn't trade them in, but I also made sure immediately after the second one, that we wouldn't be having any more children.

 

[*bratcat*]

I wasn't so smart...

 

[Wizard]

That was sooooooooo funny................I can relate to that........

 

[KillerMuffin]

I guess I'm more evil than all ya'll. I fully intend to exact revenge prior to grandbabyhood.

Like embarrassing the everlasting crap out of my child in front of his friends. I'm compiling a photo album of embarassing baby and childhood pictures. The computer is fabulous because he loves to talk into the mic. I've got the ring and necklace he bought out of a storefront vending machine for fifty cents to give to his friend so she'll marry him. *grins evilly* Someday he's going to bring a girl home to meet mom. Too bad his mother is evil... heheheheheh

 

[Cheyenne]

I have no kids of my own, but I babysit for my nieces/nephew. One was a piece of cake. Two wasn't too bad, I could still hold on to one with each hand. When there were three, I was really outnumbered and they could split up and surround me. Angels one second, covered in magic marker drawings all over the arms/face the next. How fast ARE those kids, anyway? When the fourth one showed up, I gave up. Now I stay in one spot, and listen. If I hear trouble brewing, or I hear silence, I go hunting for the guilty parties. And I only promise that the house will still be standing when the parents come home. I don't promise that the interior will be in the same shape as when they left.

 

[erosman]

Your story brought some fond memories.

I think the tool that helped me most was to talk really gruff and growl alot. Now, they're teens and they just laugh at me. Somehow you have to embrace a little apathy or you are a goner.

 

[Ishmael]

Silence

Now I stay in one spot, and listen. If I hear trouble brewing, or I hear silence, I go hunting for the guilty parties.

Ahhhhhhhh, silence. The sound that brings panic to the heart of every parent.

When they were fighting or cooking up some scheme, I could calmly get up and intervene. Having some idea of what was going on. But silence? That meant something really serious was coming down. Time to run.

Cheyenne, you've got the drill down pat. You are ready my dear.

Ishmael

 

[LukkyKnight]

and pray that all the adults in the house do not get sick at the same time

For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire life to date. He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days now. He has the sense of joyful independence a 5-year-old child gets when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch in the coat closet and neither parent [because of the flu] would have the strength to object. He has been foraging for his own food, which means his diet consists entirely of "food" substances which are advertised only on Saturday-morning cartoon shows; substances that are the color of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy Chok-'n'-Cheez Lumps o' Froot ("part of this complete breakfast").

from: Molecular Homicide
Dave Barry

Good luck, Sempre.

 

[MsFigment]

Thank You!

Many years ago I decided against having children. Thanks Sempre for reinforcing my conviction that I made the right choice!

 

[LadyDarkFire]

Sempre, just remember to thank your stars that you are not a GodParent. What the condition has done to me is basically morph my days into Babysitting jobs, helping out parents, and bailing out kids. Don't get me wrong, I will gladly die to prevent one hair on either of the Twins' heads from being harmed. BUT, sometimes it gets interesting. The terrible twos were interesting to say the least, and have always been fond memories of mine. It's worth it though. To be Auntie to those two, I will gladly haul them home from school when they're sick, take them when my dear friends need a rest, and I will always cherish the fact that I was honoured with being part of the naming of those two. I'm just glad that it's only part time until I have my own.