Ogden Nash

crappie master

King of the Shitz
Joined
Mar 21, 2002
Posts
3,240
The Tale of Custard the Dragon


Belinda lives in a little white house
With a little black kitten and a little gray mouse,
And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,
And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,
And the little gray mouse, she called hum Blink,
And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,
But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.

Custard the dragon had big sharp teeth,
And spikes on top of him and scales underneath,
Mouth like a fireplace, chimney for a nose,
And realio, trulio daggers on his toes.

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Belinda tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful,
Ink, Blink and Mustard, they rudely called him Percival,
They all sat laughing in the little red wagon
At the realio, trulio, cowardly dragon.

Belinda giggled till she shook the house,
and Blink said Weeck! which is giggling for a mouse,
Ink and Mustard rudely asked his age,
When Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Suddenly, suddenly they heard a nasty sound,
And Mustard growled, and they all looked around.
Meowch! cried Ink, and Ooh! cried Belinda,
For there was a pirate, climbing in the winda.

Pistol in his left hand, pistol in his right,
And he held in his teeth a cutlass bright,
His beard was black, one leg was wood;
It was clear that the pirate meant no good.

Belinda paled, and she cried Help! Help!
But Mustard fled with a terrified yelp,
Ink trickled down to the bottom of the household,
And little mouse Blink strategically mouseholed.

But up jumped Custard snorting like an engine,
Clashed his tail like irons in a dungeon,
With a clatter and a clank and a jangling squirm,
He went at the pirate like a robin at a worm.

The pirate gaped at Belinda's dragon,
And gulped some grog from his pocket flagon,
He fired two bullets, but they didn't hit,
And Custard gobbled him, every bit.

Belinda embraced him, Mustard licked him,
No one mourned for his pirate victim.
Ink and Blink in glee did gyrate
Around the dragon that ate the pirate.

But presently up spoke little dog Mustard,
I'd been twice as brave if I hadn't been flustered.
And up spoke Ink and up spoke Blink,
We'd have been three times as brave, we think,
And Custard said, I quite agree
That everybody is braver than me.

Belinda still lives in her little white house,
With her little black kitten and her little gray mouse,
And her little yellow dog and her little red wagon,
And her realio, trulio little pet dragon.

Belinda is as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chase lions down the stairs,
Mustard is as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard keeps crying for a nice safe cage.
 
Last edited:
The Centipede
by Ogden Nash

I objurgate the centipede,
A bug we do not really need.
At sleepy-time he beats a path
Straight to the bedroom or the bath.
You always wallop where he’s not,
Or, if he is, he makes a spot.
 
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all
 
Agent99 said:
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all

Just stalking through to say I :heart: 99!
 
Agent99 said:
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all



"...but we've got the biggest balls of them all..."
 
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.


*Making at least the pretense of staying on topic, yet, thrilled to see Nora hearting me*

I :heart: her back and hope she'll be MY Valentine! :rose:

Saint Peter, I don't need a yardstick, I can already tell that you measure up very well! ;)
 
The Only Poet With His Own Car Company.

Nash.jpg
 
"People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it."

*keeping to topic while spreading love and sunshine all over 99 (btw, I think you can get the sunshine out with Sprayn'Wash, but you're stuck with the love. It always sets before you can rinse it out.)*
 
Damn, I never thought I'd see his name on this board. If you can, get a hold of his short essay, "From Pillar to Post, of How to Raise a Dog" It's a jewel.

Ishmael
 
"The Termite"

Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good,
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today



Nora, seeing your sunshine (on my shoulder- which makes me happy) and raising you lollipops and rainbows.
 
He's one of my favorites

You all should have been here for his birthday party last summer.

Happy Birthday, Odgen Nash

Just one from then:

"The Romantic Age"

This one is entering her teens,
Ripe for sentimental scenes,
Has picked a gangling unripe male,
Sees herself in a bridal veil,
Presses lips and tosses head,
Declares she's not too young to wed,
Informs you pertly you forget
Romeo and Juliet.
Do not argue, do not shout;
Remind her how that one turned out.
 
Back
Top