Of Cats and dogs...

[Guest]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY

8:00am-Oh Boy!-Dog Food!-My Favorite!
9:30am-Oh Boy!-A Car Ride!-My Favorite!
9:40am-Oh Boy!-A Walk-My Favorite!
11:30am-Oh Boy!-Dog Food!-My Favorite!
12:00pm-Oh Boy!-The Kid's!-My Favorite!
1:00Pm -Oh Boy!-The Yard!-My Favorite!
5:00pm-Oh Boy!-Dog Food!-My Favorite!
6:30pm-Oh Boy!-Playing Ball!-My Favorite!
8:00pm-Oh Boy!-Sleeping in Masters bed!-My Favorite!




EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY

Day 243 of my Captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going, is the hope of escape and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempts to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their
bed.

Decapitated a mouse today and brought them the headless body, in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to strike fear on
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was.

Mmmmm - not working according to plan.

I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies or even snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant and speaks with
the oppressors regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I
can wait, ---- it's only a matter of time......

 

[neonlyte]

I so like that cat!

 

[kendo1]

....

 

[Liar]

EXCERPT FROM MY CAT'S DIARY

Gonna have to dicipline the butler. He was late with food today again.

 

[hotchkiss]

Scouts thoughts;

Whats that?

Can I eat it?

What was that I ate?

Ooo look another one?

 

[Guest]

 

[hotchkiss]

Hotchkiss, darlin', anyone who has a malamute knows the motto of the whole breed is, "Will that fit in my mouth?"

Followed by "If not how can I make it fit in my mouth!"
Its amazing what you find "picking up" after him!!!!

 

[Guest]

 

[hotchkiss]

Indeed. Just this morning I discovered what happened to my red terry cloth slippers. Let's just say I don't want what's left back. Ish.

Tell me about it, the other day one of my missing socks came up and I had to fight to stop him swallowing it again! The wife's popsox are his favourite he seems to suck them in like spagetti!
Animal Do! sheep wool, ciggy packs, insects flowers plants etc are all fair game when we're out, you have to watch him constantly.
TELL ME HE'LL GROW OUT OF IT PURLEEEZE!!!!!

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY

8:00am-Oh Boy!-Dog Food!-My Favorite!
9:30am-Oh Boy!-A Car Ride!-My Favorite!
9:40am-Oh Boy!-A Walk-My Favorite!
11:30am-Oh Boy!-Dog Food!-My Favorite!
12:00pm-Oh Boy!-The Kid's!-My Favorite!
1:00Pm -Oh Boy!-The Yard!-My Favorite!
5:00pm-Oh Boy!-Dog Food!-My Favorite!
6:30pm-Oh Boy!-Playing Ball!-My Favorite!
8:00pm-Oh Boy!-Sleeping in Masters bed!-My Favorite!




EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY

Day 243 of my Captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going, is the hope of escape and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempts to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their
bed.

Decapitated a mouse today and brought them the headless body, in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to strike fear on
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was.

Mmmmm - not working according to plan.

I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies or even snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant and speaks with
the oppressors regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I
can wait, ---- it's only a matter of time......

_________

LOL . . .

For the dog, I would also add a dozen or so incessant (and noisy) episodes of penis and/or anal licking and wondering which is its favorite.

 

[Lady_Kit]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY

8:00am-Oh Boy!-Dog Food!-My Favorite!
9:30am-Oh Boy!-A Car Ride!-My Favorite!
9:40am-Oh Boy!-A Walk-My Favorite!
11:30am-Oh Boy!-Dog Food!-My Favorite!
12:00pm-Oh Boy!-The Kid's!-My Favorite!
1:00Pm -Oh Boy!-The Yard!-My Favorite!
5:00pm-Oh Boy!-Dog Food!-My Favorite!
6:30pm-Oh Boy!-Playing Ball!-My Favorite!
8:00pm-Oh Boy!-Sleeping in Masters bed!-My Favorite!




EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY

Day 243 of my Captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going, is the hope of escape and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempts to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their
bed.

Decapitated a mouse today and brought them the headless body, in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to strike fear on
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was.

Mmmmm - not working according to plan.

I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies or even snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant and speaks with
the oppressors regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I
can wait, ---- it's only a matter of time......

Cute, Dranoel! My cats must have an artistic flair...they throw up hairballs shaped like decapitated mice. Its a treat...ick.

 

[Guest]

Cute, Dranoel! My cats must have an artistic flair...they throw up hairballs shaped like decapitated mice. Its a treat...ick.

___

I'm sure a few have also delivered more than a few partially killed and smelly vermin right to your feet -- a gift for "mommy" or "daddy."

 

[Dar~]

My cat loves my husband exclusively she sleeps between us at night and farts on me when he is deployed.

 

[Guest]

___

I'm sure a few have also delivered more than a few partially killed and smelly vermin right to your feet -- a gift for "mommy" or "daddy."

Perhaps it's more of a threat.

As in, "Look what I did to this mouse. Just think of what I could do to you."

 

[SeaCat]

Cats rule. The only problem is they know it.

Cat

 

[Guest]

___

I'm sure a few have also delivered more than a few partially killed and smelly vermin right to your feet -- a gift for "mommy" or "daddy."

My cat actually likes to bring them to me alive, kicking and squealing.

That's a sign of true devotion in a cat. They want to make sure your present is as fresh as possible.

 

[Lady_Kit]

___

I'm sure a few have also delivered more than a few partially killed and smelly vermin right to your feet -- a gift for "mommy" or "daddy."

Nuthin say says luvin like a dead rodant.

 

[Lady_Kit]

My cat actually likes to bring them to me alive, kicking and squealing.

That's a sign of true devotion in a cat. They want to make sure your present is as fresh as possible.

Are you sure its not a sign of a highly developed capacity for self-preservation? Better a live mouse than a dead cat?

 

[TxRad]

The dead mice aren't the problem Now the live snakes.... that's a whole other story...

Damned cat...got to love her

yes, mistress....lol

 

[Guest]

Are you sure its not a sign of a highly developed capacity for self-preservation? Better a live mouse than a dead cat?

Nah. I understand them too well to even consider smacking her for that. Cats are natural, instinctive hunters who show affection by bringing gifts of food. She doesn't understand that I have no desire to eat a mouse, she's just telling me she loves me. Now, how could I by angry at that?