unpredictablebijou
Peril!
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2007
- Posts
- 5,507
I heard a story the other night that had me laughing so hard I quite literally fell off my chair.
Had to do with a friend, call her Cheryl, who got a late-night call from an ex-boyfriend with whom she's still on reasonable terms. He's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, nor is his new girlfriend, and they had managed to get her brand-new set of ben-wa balls firmly stuck inside her by some seriously over-energetic fucking. Why they chose to leave them in was quite beyond most of us anyway, but there it is. They're both about as sharp as plastic spoons.
Anyway, they called Cheryl, and her narrative about the various poses she put the girlfriend in, and the various tools they tried to use to fish the string out (including a crochet hook, mind you, which I thought was reasonably inventive, if extremely spooky) had everyone at the table wiping their eyes and completely helpless for about twenty minutes. It took about an hour, and involved just about every physical position that's possible for humans, but they were eventually removed, and the dreaded emergency room trip was narrowly avoided.
So I started thinking about friendship, and those moments when you have to decide who to call to ask that Big, Weird Favor you might need to ask someday.
Here's the thread question. Or several. How many people do you have, or have you had in your life, with whom you have that level of reliable intimacy? That is, if you had managed to get yourself into a strange and extremely embarrassing predicament, some foreign object in some area for which it was never designed, who could you call who would not only be helpful, but completely trustworthy, and who might not even spend ten minutes laughing at you until AFTER the situation was taken care of?
And aside from that particular situation, what other characteristics and stories define, for you, the nature of that Absolute Friend, the one who has proven, or would prove it all night if they needed to? So tell me a story.
bijou
Had to do with a friend, call her Cheryl, who got a late-night call from an ex-boyfriend with whom she's still on reasonable terms. He's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, nor is his new girlfriend, and they had managed to get her brand-new set of ben-wa balls firmly stuck inside her by some seriously over-energetic fucking. Why they chose to leave them in was quite beyond most of us anyway, but there it is. They're both about as sharp as plastic spoons.
Anyway, they called Cheryl, and her narrative about the various poses she put the girlfriend in, and the various tools they tried to use to fish the string out (including a crochet hook, mind you, which I thought was reasonably inventive, if extremely spooky) had everyone at the table wiping their eyes and completely helpless for about twenty minutes. It took about an hour, and involved just about every physical position that's possible for humans, but they were eventually removed, and the dreaded emergency room trip was narrowly avoided.
So I started thinking about friendship, and those moments when you have to decide who to call to ask that Big, Weird Favor you might need to ask someday.
Here's the thread question. Or several. How many people do you have, or have you had in your life, with whom you have that level of reliable intimacy? That is, if you had managed to get yourself into a strange and extremely embarrassing predicament, some foreign object in some area for which it was never designed, who could you call who would not only be helpful, but completely trustworthy, and who might not even spend ten minutes laughing at you until AFTER the situation was taken care of?
And aside from that particular situation, what other characteristics and stories define, for you, the nature of that Absolute Friend, the one who has proven, or would prove it all night if they needed to? So tell me a story.
bijou
Last edited:
I'm sure some of you might be skeptical. 
