Now I Have An Unexpected Weird Problem With dating Sights..

[FGB]

I joined up with two of them One is well known.

If I was in my thirties or forties I would be having more sex than I could handle! I was talking up a lady and she went Ghost I guess we were to the point of calling.

She said to call the number she had been texting me from for the last week and a half,and I did three hours later. I received the recording that this phone number was no longer in service. Her account is closed there and she does not reply to text!

I have another one that is a little younger than I would like but she agreed that we needed to put our try Toy boxes together for a whole weekend.

She looks OK, but as I told her I need to get to know her a little better first, she says OK. So we will see. ( I don't TOY BOX on the first date!)
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The other site has me... well hell I don't know!

There is plenty of good looking ladies there. All professional careers of some kind many clearly fairly well off. lawyers, Judges, Police...Self employed/retired Navy,School teachers... collage professors & Doctors & nurses and so on and on. Very few live close by with in seventy five miles or less. The trouble is you know nothing about their sexual habits at all unless you ask.

And it's not like I haven't dated people like them before it's just I was a lot younger then. These people seem to be serious looking for LTR's and their are some fine people there So I don't know WHAT my problem is!

Anybody have any clue WTF is wrong with me?

 

[johnnieblue44]

First impression is that you're caught between "I could have a young woman who is going to be an easy lay cause she's already looking for it" and "wow, there are some fine, well educated people out there. I wonder how I'll measure up." Personally I think you need to go for the second group. You'll do fine. It's just nerves. Get a date or 2 in and see how it goes. If you just want to fuck, there are lots out there willing to oblige. But if you're looking for the possibility of an actual relationship, you're gonna have to take a few risks . You got this! Go for number 2.

News flash. A great majority of women want to fuck. They sometimes are hesitant to express that lest they be perceived as a slut, but that’s their issue. You’re way over-thinking this. The odds of getting laid are about a hundred times greater than entering into a LTR. No charge for this. Now go get your cock wet.

 

[johnnieblue44]

What's an LTR? And you're probably right. I know nothing about dating sites. Never used one. And I guess I'm not part of the majority, but that's ok.

Long-term relationship. And why use dating sites when you can have me?

 

[FGB]

I was hoping to hear back from FBG to see if my impression seemed accurate

"First impression is that you're caught between "I could have a young woman who is going to be an easy lay cause she's already looking for it" and "wow, there are some fine, well educated people out there. I wonder how I'll measure up." Personally I think you need to go for the second group. You'll do fine. It's just nerves. Get a date or 2 in and see how it goes. If you just want to fuck, there are lots out there willing to oblige. But if you're looking for the possibility of an actual relationship, you're gonna have to take a few risks . You got this! Go for number 2."

I think you are probably right for the most part. Also i am still kind of shook up about the whole FWB thing a month ago.
While the thought of a Long Term Relationship does appeal to me more than dating around a lot I really do not want to get married again anytime soon if ever.

Naturally, if the right woman comes along I might change my mind...I have been married four times. It would take a really, really well... special woman for me to fall in love again.

I think that may be what I am afraid of.

 

[Conager]

"First impression is that you're caught between "I could have a young woman who is going to be an easy lay cause she's already looking for it" and "wow, there are some fine, well educated people out there. I wonder how I'll measure up." Personally I think you need to go for the second group. You'll do fine. It's just nerves. Get a date or 2 in and see how it goes. If you just want to fuck, there are lots out there willing to oblige. But if you're looking for the possibility of an actual relationship, you're gonna have to take a few risks . You got this! Go for number 2."

I think you are probably right for the most part. Also i am still kind of shook up about the whole FWB thing a month ago.
While the thought of a Long Term Relationship does appeal to me more than dating around a lot I really do not want to get married again anytime soon if ever.

Naturally, if the right woman comes along I might change my mind...I have been married four times. It would take a really, really well... special woman for me to fall in love again.

I think that may be what I am afraid of.

You've always struck me as a decent fellow. not to be defeatist here, but I am about 96% sure you would not be able to suss out a "special woman" given that you thought that four times, previously. To be fair, my math is off because my view is there is more than a 4% chance there is no such thing. We are living in very strange times where we have acknowledged women their sexual freedom and not required of them corresponding culpability. I don't support return to share-based sexuality, but we haven't yet decided where societal pressure for agreed upon basic, moral behavior is appropriate.

As to your specific query, it's just too soon. Nothing wrong with browsing the produce aisle and fondling some melones, but your heart isn't going to be in it for a while. That just means you are human and grew attached, which in my view is the biological point of orgasms. Your reticence now is a sign you are a decent person that cannot just discard a "FWB" without some grieving.

There are various guides and rules of thumb about how long the grieving process takes and it varies by the person but I've often found a decent rule of thumb is the longer you have into building the attachment the longer you are going to grieve. This particular one seems to me you have been with quite some time. I mean in FGB years, of course.

Good luck, sincerely.

 

[FGB]

Thanks To both of you, that was a nice and decent Statement with lots of truth about me in it.

About the only thing I can redeem about the whole mess is that I took a hell of a lot of therapy and classes on healthy relationships and what they were which was good because I had No clue what one was! This was after my third wife (the split personality one) and just after my fiance broke up with me after her Dad ( a good good friend of mine) killed himself.

I dated for a few years and married my fourth wife four years later while still going to meetings ACOA,CODA& EA and I helped found an AA meeting also.

I was married to her (Deranda ... Randy) for twenty two years. At the twenty year mark I had all I could take and gave up on her. She at the least was a drug addict and an alcoholic and a few more things and refused to get and maintain help and then she got abusive. At the last am I pretty sure she was having an affair with the next door neighbor but, I had already told her I was divorcing her... that took up the last two years.
See My fgarvb1 username for details.

No, I was not in love with Deana (Dee) My FWB But I really liked her and I really thought we were tight friends. I treated her like a Girlfriend or wife with both trust and pretty much everything I had.

True I may need a time out, but I also need someone to talk to be with just have some fun and yes I love sex!

And I know the first few time I try to start a relationship of some kind it probably will not go well, But I might as well face it I'm addicted...

 

[FGB]

Good Lord, you've had a rough time. So sorry to hear that.

As many here now know, I haven't got a lot of experience with relationships. All I can comment on is my thoughts from observing others, not much from personal experience.

My first thoughts are how dangerous it sounds when you mention being addicted to relationships. That's kind of like saying you what one, any one. I think that's a source of your problems. I think it's important to be ok on your own and then choose to be with someone because they make your life better.
But that's easy for me to say because I've always been on my own.
I hope you find what you need out there.

Oh...Well I'm ACOA!

I can easily get addicted to: People,Places and Things that's all.

But see, I know this and I am always on my guard. The trouble is you can second guess yourself crazy!

Trust me you can't make me do a DAMNED thing I don't want to!

I didn't spend thirty six day in a metal health unit and thousands of hours in group meetings because it was fun...it was pure hell sometimes!

But I did learn how to handle Life's stresses, what Healthy relations were, Boundaries and how all that stuff called life works.

If you really want to hear some Bullshit ask me about my first two marriages!
JHC! Small wonder I needed some help!

 

[Brains_N_Boobs]

I think we may have a match!


FGB & Desiree1



You can both thank me later.