Novice writer with a couple of questions.

[jpro56]

I am in the middle of a story involving a male/trans couple that meets at a swingers party and fall in love. I tend to get long winded in my stories and have broken this one up into 3 parts - so far. While working on wrapping up part 3 I had the strange idea to also write it from her perspective at the same time. Any thoughts on how I can do this without writing 2 completely separate stories that probably would not be read at the same time.

I was thinking of breaking it down into even more parts and include both perspectives in each part, giving each persons side of the same action.

Does anyone thing it would be worth the time and effort?

The story is flowing well and I have an ending in mind.

 

[NotWise]

I would move on to a different story rather than rewriting the same story from a different perspective,

 

[Smuttyandfun]

I've given both POV's in several of my stories. Just put the characters name in Capitals at the top, to let the readers know that it's their perspective they'll be reading. When you switch back, start with the other characters name at the top of their POV. You don't want to give your readers whiplash though, so I only switch POV a few times in a story. You can check out my stories - A Little Too Close For Comfort, or The Dare - as examples.

 

[ElectricBlue]

The story is flowing well and I have an ending in mind.

If you are on a roll, a major rewrite such as you propose (going, I assume, from first person pov to third person) is most likely going to stuff up your creative flow.

I'd finish the story as you've written it so far, then try a switching point of view in another story completely. That way you'll have two stories, not one which might go badly wrong.

I think the best way to write switching points of view is by close third person narration, taking care to clearly show your pov switches. You can do that with a break.

* * * *

And the new point of view begins. I don't use pov headers, though, that's a bit clunky for me. The first sentence of each section can easily establish who is who.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Or, if you're writing in third person, you can put their thoughts in Italics.

 

[jpro56]

I'm writing first person. Idea was to write what he experiences then follow with what she sees happen.

 

[Djmac1031]

Just put the characters name in Capitals at the top, to let the readers know that it's their perspective they'll be reading.

I pulled this off in Caring For Carrie Pt. 2 because I wanted both characters perspective but I wouldn't do it regularly and certainly not switch between more than two characters.

Otherwise just go Third Person

 

[TheRedChamber]

If the story is already 'long-winded' already then telling it twice may be a slog. If you think dual perspectives improves the story, then maybe it is better to have certain incidents narrated by character A snd others narrated by character B and have two different sex scenes, one for each character. The characters can always think back to events that happened in the other characters chapter to give their own spin on things.

 

[jpro56]

If the story is already 'long-winded' already then telling it twice may be a slog. If you think dual perspectives improves the story, then maybe it is better to have certain incidents narrated by character A snd others narrated by character B and have two different sex scenes, one for each character. The characters can always think back to events that happened in the other characters chapter to give their own spin on things.

I do like that idea. In talking with my proofreader/editor/idea bouncer, I'm going to finish the story as I am writing it, save it in that version, and attempt to edit in a version with the two party narrative just to see how it goes.
Thanks for the feedback and idea to go forward with. I'll keep you posted as to how it's going.

 

[SimonDoom]

The more elegant and successful way to do this usually is to let him tell part of the story, then let her tell part of it, then switch back, but keep moving the story forward. But don't have them narrate the same facts. It's going to be hard to hold the readers' interest retreading old ground.

Also, how long is your story, in words? People who ask these questions in this forum often do not know what a "long" story is by Literotica terms. If it's under 25,000 words it's not long by Literotica standards. It makes a difference if you are thinking about carving it up into separately published chapters.

 

[gunhilltrain]

The more elegant and successful way to do this usually is to let him tell part of the story, then let her tell part of it, then switch back, but keep moving the story forward. But don't have them narrate the same facts. It's going to be hard to hold the readers' interest retreading old ground.

Also, how long is your story, in words? People who ask these questions in this forum often do not know what a "long" story is by Literotica terms. If it's under 25,000 words it's not long by Literotica standards. It makes a difference if you are thinking about carving it up into separately published chapters.

In the movie Rashomon, the same events are seen from four points of view, but let's face it, not everyone can pull that off.

I can read 25,000 words in print but I have trouble on a screen. I suppose in either case it could be done in one sitting, but that's just a guess.

 

[SimonDoom]

In the movie Rashomon, the same events are seen from four points of view, but let's face it, not everyone can pull that off.

"Be like Kurosawa" is, IMO, not the best advice for a novice erotica writer.

 

[ElectricBlue]

"Be like Kurosawa" is, IMO, not the best advice for a novice erotica writer.

Lol.

Scores high points from me!

 

[KeithD]

The form that I follow with a coauthor here, Sabb, in the combined account name Shabbu, is that each of us takes a first-person-perspective character in the story and we alternate sections (marked with the narrator's name), in which a scene that has been given in one character's perspective is, in the next section marked by a change of narrator, revisited from the second narrator's perspect and more action is provided. In the next section the other narrator gives his perspective on that scene and progresses the story with more action. That the two have differing perspectives on events is the hook of this method--and invites the reader to look for a third interpretation of the action with the good possibility that neither character is taking an objective view.

The method seems to work OK. Shabbu stories have placed in a couple of themed contests here.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

The more elegant and successful way to do this usually is to let him tell part of the story, then let her tell part of it, then switch back, but keep moving the story forward. But don't have them narrate the same facts. It's going to be hard to hold the readers' interest retreading old ground.

Also, how long is your story, in words? People who ask these questions in this forum often do not know what a "long" story is by Literotica terms. If it's under 25,000 words it's not long by Literotica standards. It makes a difference if you are thinking about carving it up into separately published chapter

This is basically what I've done when I use two POV's. I don't really rehash what's happened, and just keep driving the story forward using both of their point of views. Readers seem to like to know what both of them are thinking, too. This was a comment on got on 'A Little Too Close For Comfort':

"Wonderful
Telling the story from two points of view was truly an excellent way of doing this. One of your better stories for sure"

 

[Omenainen]

I once wrote a story twice, from both perspectives, and published them as separate stories. It was more for my entertainment than the readers’, and I don’t think many have bothered to read both. Still, I think it’s a good way to evaluate if a story makes sense — providing you’re aiming for plausibility at all, that is. If writing (or just imagining) a scene or plot line from “the other” character’s POV makes you go “why would they do that though?” or “this doesn’t make any sense!” then probably you need to spend some time establishing their motivation, no matter what the POV.

Now to comment on OP’s situation, since I assume their story does make sense and could be told from either POV, I’d say that it’s needless to retell everything twice. Your readers aren’t as invested in your characters as you are, they’re more interested in what happens next. So maybe alternate with their viewpoints but always moving the story forward, or then just pick one and stick with it. You can write standalone spin-offs from the other character’s POV.

 

[gunhilltrain]

"Be like Kurosawa" is, IMO, not the best advice for a novice erotica writer.

That is definitely what I was trying to say.

I did switch from first person to third person in my entry for the "Pink Orchids" event, but it's something I wouldn't do very often.

 

[JohnEngelman]

If you want to write a unique story, write about a love story about a male to female trans sexual and a female to male trans sexual.

 

[jpro56]

Thanks for advice and suggestions. I knew I could count on help.

 

[jehoram]

I've told the same story, more or less, in two perspectives, but I copped out by putting them in separate chapters. They are "Bigfoot and the Wood Nymph" and "Our Family's Little Secret."

I edited stories for Athalia where she used different chapters for switching the perspective, but I can't remember which ones at the moment.

 

[gunhilltrain]

If you want to write a unique story, write about a love story about a male to female trans sexual and a female to male trans sexual.

I wonder if that has been done before? I certainly have never seen one like it, so perhaps it is unique. I admit that I doubt I could write it because I'd have trouble imagining how the two characters thought. I am considering a couple of stories with male-to-female cross-dressers, but they are not transgender and probably not even thinking about it.

 

[jpro56]

If you want to write a unique story, write about a love story about a male to female trans sexual and a female to male trans sexual.

I'm not sure I could do that topic justice. I have no problem feminizing a guy but somehow can't relate it to masculinizing a girl. There is a thread for story ideas you can post in and maybe some one will take you up on it.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

I am in the middle of a story involving a male/trans couple that meets at a swingers party and fall in love. I tend to get long winded in my stories and have broken this one up into 3 parts - so far. While working on wrapping up part 3 I had the strange idea to also write it from her perspective at the same time. Any thoughts on how I can do this without writing 2 completely separate stories that probably would not be read at the same time.

I was thinking of breaking it down into even more parts and include both perspectives in each part, giving each persons side of the same action.

Does anyone thing it would be worth the time and effort?

The story is flowing well and I have an ending in mind.

Just continue the end bit from their viewpoint.

I just finished a story largely in first person that occasionally shifted viewpoint in parts 2 and 5.

Don’t know if it works but they seem to have gone down well.

Cheers.

 

[LdyHoneybee]

I've told the same story, more or less, in two perspectives, but I copped out by putting them in separate chapters. They are "Bigfoot and the Wood Nymph" and "Our Family's Little Secret."

I edited stories for Athalia where she used different chapters for switching the perspective, but I can't remember which ones at the moment.

GRRM did this on a large scale in GoT, and it was an interesting study in how perspective can change the perception of a reader. I started out “hating” Jaime Lannister, but when Martin made him a POV character, he became one of my favorites. That was a fantastic discovery to me about the CRAFT of writing. If you want someone to like a complex character with some pretty significant moral compromises, give them the point of view. I finally got worn out waiting for book whatever (author should have stuck with the original plan for 5 books and done) and let the HBO series finish the story for me, but by the time it WAS finished, I think I cared for him about more than any of the other characters, far more than Dany or even Jon.

 

[RowanWrites]

A technique I like is, instead of telling the same story from a different perspective, tell someone else's story, but have the narratives intersect. To LdyHoneybee's point, GRRM did it this way so that we can see some of the same scenes from different viewpoints, but those scenes have different significance as part of different stories. I find it very exciting when done well.