Nothing left except the climb

[CandiCame]

This is a poem I wrote about trying to maintain sobriety... I'm jonesing hard right now... It's not erotic or anything, but it's an outpouring of emotion that's set to a really fast, coke-esc tempo.

I'm like a pinball stuck between
Those rubbers bumpers at the top of the machine
The past has closed right up for me
And the bluest grass looks green
There's a future I can't see
Looming ahead, mocking me.

Everything's gone so dark
Lost all of the innocence that was once in my heart
And a part of me can see
All of my brand new enemies
Lined up right in front of me
Like I'm on a killing spree
And I'm anything but free

I'm like a pinball stuck between
Those rubbers bumpers at the top of the machine
The past has closed right up for me
And the bluest grass looks green
There's a future I can't see
Looming ahead, mocking me.

My past is lost in the Abyss
Along with all the opportunities I missed
And every time I've gotten pissed
Over every stupid thing I hissed
Wasn't was good enough for me
If I could only look ahead and see
The road I would have to take
For every dumbass mistake
Every stupid choice I'd make
And the destruction in my wake

I'm like a pinball stuck between
Those rubbers bumpers at the top of the machine
The past has closed right up for me
And the bluest grass looks green
There's a future I can't see
Looming ahead, mocking me.

I can't see the path ahead
But don't we all end up dead?
I've nothing left to fear or dread
I'm at the bottom looking up
Without a penny in my cup
Nothing left to do but wait
And I can't procrastinate
I feel a fading of the hate
That I've always kept inside
That just won't let me die

I'm like a pinball stuck between
Those rubbers bumpers at the top of the machine
The past has closed right up for me
And the bluest grass looks green
There's a future I can't see
Looming ahead, mocking me.

Nothing inside me but despair
I need a breath of fresh air
I don't even remember where
I managed to get myself to care
But fate won't let me die
And I've stopped wondering why
Because it's such a waste of time
There's nothing left except the climb
There's nothing left except the climb.

 

[KatNW1]

Hang in there.

I don't prescribe to the mongering I see on these boards - whatever or whoever you are or aren't, that's for you to handle. I have more important things to do than start childish pissing contests in cyberspace. But addiction is addiction, no matter who you are.

Hang in there. Small steps, one day at a time - whatever you want to call it, you have to do it. And you can.