Notes on a broken heart

[MaraschinoCherry]

He had me wrapped around his little finger. But now I’ve unwrapped myself from Him. And I feel undone. And foolish for letting myself be so swept away.

My dog came to visit me in the kitchen tonight just now. She got up from her bed and came down a floor, way past her bedtime. Like she was checking on me.

The house is quiet and I feel like I can finally cry.

 

[falkor207]

Dogs can be very intuitive, the 4 legged kind, when it comes to their humans. Please take care of yourself.

 

[Lady2020]

 

[Somethingdifferent74]

He had me wrapped around his little finger. But now I’ve unwrapped myself from Him. And I feel undone. And foolish for letting myself be so swept away.

My dog came to visit me in the kitchen tonight just now. She got up from her bed and came down a floor, way past her bedtime. Like she was checking on me.

The house is quiet and I feel like I can finally cry.

 

[Lady2020]

People say OL doesn't mean anything. Let me know when robots rule where emotions and logic don't enter the equation.

 

[falkor207]

People say OL doesn't mean anything. Let me know when robots rule where emotions and logic don't enter the equation.

Truth. Spend enough time online here or any public forum, you're bound to cross paths with someone where a bond is created. Having or breaking that bond to any breathing human will cause all sorts of emotions. If you're online without your partner/spouse knowing that loss becomes even more complex. I believe as humans we grieve more easily and recover more quickly when it can be shared.

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

People say OL doesn't mean anything. Let me know when robots rule where emotions and logic don't enter the equation.

Add to that the immense depth of constant communication. I don’t know very many offline couples that communicate intensely and meaningfully for ten hours a day or more. And what also hurts is how ephemeral it all seems to have been. Messages erased, communication stopped. I’ll never run into him at the gym or the store or anything. It’s just… gone. All of it. Thanks, Lady.

Truth. Spend enough time online here or any public forum, you're bound to cross paths with someone where a bond is created. Having or breaking that bond to any breathing human will cause all sorts of emotions. If you're online without your partner/spouse knowing that loss becomes even more complex. I believe as humans we grieve more easily and recover more quickly when it can be shared.

Thank you, Falkor. This situation has all the complexities you can imagine. I really appreciate your comment.

I'm sorry you are hurting. Cry it out - it's better than holding it in. Look at the sky, note the sun, moon and stars, and keep breathing.

Thanks so much, Jade.

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

I wonder how many words I said to you in a day. In a week. A month. I wonder if my friends notice me saying more to them now that we’re through.

I wonder if you will ever read this. Some shadow account, some other self. I wonder if you’d know it’s me. I don’t know how I feel about that. But I’ll talk to you anyway. Like the way people talk to ghosts of the people they love but can’t see anymore.

A lot of what you said, I wonder about. A little. Maybe some of it was to impress me. To win me. But some things I’ll never doubt. The way you loved me. The way I loved you. I’ll never doubt that, never.

I miss you. But we were rough on each other. That was mutual. Maybe inevitable. The way we loved each other was ferocious. Some fires are so intense that they suck in all the air for miles.

 

[falkor207]

I wonder how many words I said to you in a day. In a week. A month. I wonder if my friends notice me saying more to them now that we’re through.

I wonder if you will ever read this. Some shadow account, some other self. I wonder if you’d know it’s me. I don’t know how I feel about that. But I’ll talk to you anyway. Like the way people talk to ghosts of the people they love but can’t see anymore.

A lot of what you said, I wonder about. A little. Maybe some of it was to impress me. To win me. But some things I’ll never doubt. The way you loved me. The way I loved you. I’ll never doubt that, never.

I miss you. But we were rough on each other. That was mutual. Maybe inevitable. The way we loved each other was ferocious. Some fires are so intense that they suck in all the air for miles.

I relate to your descriptions in many ways. I found the more I "talked" about my loss it became ever so slightly less painful. Are you experiencing any relief in your telling?

I hope this finds you well, and you know things will get better.

 

[Missk_2022]

I wonder how many words I said to you in a day. In a week. A month. I wonder if my friends notice me saying more to them now that we’re through.

I wonder if you will ever read this. Some shadow account, some other self. I wonder if you’d know it’s me. I don’t know how I feel about that. But I’ll talk to you anyway. Like the way people talk to ghosts of the people they love but can’t see anymore.

A lot of what you said, I wonder about. A little. Maybe some of it was to impress me. To win me. But some things I’ll never doubt. The way you loved me. The way I loved you. I’ll never doubt that, never.

I miss you. But we were rough on each other. That was mutual. Maybe inevitable. The way we loved each other was ferocious. Some fires are so intense that they suck in all the air for miles.

I was supposed to go out of state tomorrow to meet my guy... after connecting and I thought it would last a long time.... but his last girlfriend decided she made a mistake and since she was closer in proximity he chose her....with "if you were closer i would have told her she list her chance".... that didn't make me feel better.... and I only have myself to blame...I broke my own heart by telling him to figure out what he wanted to do.....and if he still wanted a relationship with her.... I lost.....I feel your pain... ours wasn't fast and hot but building and comfortable and cozy..... and hot when it needed to be.... I am sorry you have to feel this way--K

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

I was supposed to go out of state tomorrow to meet my guy... after connecting and I thought it would last a long time.... but his last girlfriend decided she made a mistake and since she was closer in proximity he chose her....with "if you were closer i would have told her she list her chance".... that didn't make me feel better.... and I only have myself to blame...I broke my own heart by telling him to figure out what he wanted to do.....and if he still wanted a relationship with her.... I lost.....I feel your pain... ours wasn't fast and hot but building and comfortable and cozy..... and hot when it needed to be.... I am sorry you have to feel this way--K

Hi. I’m so sorry that you have to feel this way, too. Comfortable and cozy is . I feel like I broke my own heart as well, Missk. But I think it is getting easier with the right people around. I’m really glad you posted. Sending you lots of hugs.

 

[Missk_2022]

Hi. I’m so sorry that you have to feel this way, too. Comfortable and cozy is . I feel like I broke my own heart as well, Missk. But I think it is getting easier with the right people around. I’m really glad you posted. Sending you lots of hugs.

Sending thos hugs back to you... I wasn't in love but in like like like and hoping for more.... I thought I was ok, but I can't help but think about it and be jealous, angry, sad, mad that I compare others to him all at once.... we will be ok... it sucks because we both prob did the right thing.... damn it

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

Sending thos hugs back to you... I wasn't in love but in like like like and hoping for more.... I thought I was ok, but I can't help but think about it and be jealous, angry, sad, mad that I compare others to him all at once.... we will be ok... it sucks because we both prob did the right thing.... damn it

I think we did do the right thing. But that doesn’t make it easier.

The thing that helped me today was a video call with a friend that I hadn’t really seen in way too long. Even though it was brief, it helped way more than expected. It was nice to hear the sounds of a very different life and a familiar voice. So that’s something very good, at least.

We will be okay for sure.

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

I relate to your descriptions in many ways. I found the more I "talked" about my loss it became ever so slightly less painful. Are you experiencing any relief in your telling?

I hope this finds you well, and you know things will get better.

Yes. Definitely so. Thank you so much, Falkor. I really am grateful.

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

A hundred things happened today that you would have like to have known about. I even reached for my phone to tell you, but then I remembered.

But there is more lightness in me than I have felt in a long time. You didn’t take that lightness away, it wasn’t that. It was that I was so focused on you, I couldn’t look anywhere else. Everything else was somehow dimmer with you as my focus.

Everything else, though, it’s good. It’s beautiful. I watched it rain today from underneath the skylights. And I felt very much like myself. That seems like a good sign.

 

[Missk_2022]

It sounds like healing and that is good... I can't sleep... i want to reach out and say.... "we could be together right now" but I wont... he found what will make him happy and I will find the same

 

[Missk_2022]

I can't sleep though... it would help

 

[cascadiabound]

A hundred things happened today that you would have like to have known about. I even reached for my phone to tell you, but then I remembered.

But there is more lightness in me than I have felt in a long time. You didn’t take that lightness away, it wasn’t that. It was that I was so focused on you, I couldn’t look anywhere else. Everything else was somehow dimmer with you as my focus.

Everything else, though, it’s good. It’s beautiful. I watched it rain today from underneath the skylights. And I felt very much like myself. That seems like a good sign.

I am so pleased to see you finding your way through your loss and grief. be kind to yourself. Keep finding and embracing your lightness. See how much of the world you have missed while your eyes were fixed on him.

thank you for sharing your pain. take care of you.

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

I am so pleased to see you finding your way through your loss and grief. be kind to yourself. Keep finding and embracing your lightness. See how much of the world you have missed while your eyes were fixed on him.

thank you for sharing your pain. take care of you.

Thank you so much, cascadia

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

I can't sleep though... it would help

Hope you got some sleep, Missk

 

[Anastasia1999]

He had me wrapped around his little finger. But now I’ve unwrapped myself from Him. And I feel undone. And foolish for letting myself be so swept away.

My dog came to visit me in the kitchen tonight just now. She got up from her bed and came down a floor, way past her bedtime. Like she was checking on me.

The house is quiet and I feel like I can finally cry.

I am sorry and sending you a big hug

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

I am sorry and sending you a big hug

Thank you Anastasia

 

[falkor207]

A hundred things happened today that you would have like to have known about. I even reached for my phone to tell you, but then I remembered.

But there is more lightness in me than I have felt in a long time. You didn’t take that lightness away, it wasn’t that. It was that I was so focused on you, I couldn’t look anywhere else. Everything else was somehow dimmer with you as my focus.

Everything else, though, it’s good. It’s beautiful. I watched it rain today from underneath the skylights. And I felt very much like myself. That seems like a good sign.

Happy to hear you're finding pleasure in the world around you. Like everything, there are good days and bad. On a bad day it may take a bit more to find that silver lining but it's there. Keep looking

 

[Missk_2022]

Hope you got some sleep, Missk

I sure did... thx

 

[Starglazed]

I hope your unwrapping will be a view to attract a new partner. Good luck sexy!