Not sure what to make of this

[jmfeb]

Long time lurker and I figured this would be the ONLY place I could talk about my situation...

My situation: married and have a son who is a senior in high school. My husband and I have kind of had a lame duck relationship for the last 10 or so years, mostly staying together because it's easier. Sexually, he's not very interested. I mean, IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR. At that point you're just neglecting your marital obligations IMO. I've tried to talk to him about an open marriage deal, but to no avail.

So last night I was at the gym with my son's friend. I try to go at the same time he goes because I find him very easy on the eyes and he's kind of developed into my workout buddy (dark hair, piercing blue eyes, muscular, stubble -- HOT). Anyways, I mentioned that my husband's going on a business trip next Friday to a certain city, and my son is going with him since he's looking at a school there. He mentioned coming over, so I could spend time with someone. I kinda deflected and said you shouldn't be wasting your Friday night, but then he replied with, "Wouldn't be wasting. I'm thinking of a thing or two we could do that'd be fun."

Did he just totally put the moves on me? Or is he just coming over? I definitely have a thing for him -- he's kind of the reason I found this place (mother and son's friends stories do it for me). He turned 18 in August BTW.

 

[Scheherazade73]

Oh, please fuck him and tell us all about it!!!

Sorry, that's my Lit self talking. My mom self knows that he might very well have a big mouth (teenage boys do) which means he will tell someone who will tell someone and it will get back to your son, who will be horrified/angry/crushed/disgusted.

Your sexless marriage deserves your more immediate focus. sounds like it's not just sex that's missing. What are you going to do about that???

 

[jmfeb]

Guuuuuh. You have no idea how bad I want to. If I were sure he would keep it quiet, there would be a 99.9% chance I would hump this dude. There's no way I will make the first move, and I have NO idea what I would do if he made the first move. The room gets very spin-y when I think about it, and now I can't stop thinking about it.

The sexless marriage will probably go on until my son graduates from college. I'm probably going to have to make the first move IF it ends, and I just don't see myself doing that until my son is no longer depending on us.

But it's not like I want to sex some random guy -- I'd prefer it be my husband, but that's not happening. I just find this guy very alluring. And now just throw in how long it's been since I've had sex.

 

[TeaforMe]

Teenagers can't keep anything a secret...especially when it comes to sex....and even more especially if that sex happened with a buddy's mom.

As hot as this young man is, think about the conversation you will be having with your son (more so than your husband, who after a year of not giving it up can't be remotely surprised when his wife seeks satisfaction elsewhere). Do you want to have that talk with your son?

I have had my daughters' boyfriends hit on me, and I would not go there, no matter how cute or broken up they were with my kids. Too close the the fire for me.

 

[DrHappy]

Assuming that this story isn't fictional...

It wouldn't look good in divorce court. The affair WOULD be blabbed and known to all parties.

 

[Scheherazade73]

I hear you, sister...it's been a long time for me as well, and my daughter's friend has had a crush on me for a long time. I just keep thinking: he's 19...the stamina...the willingness...oh, what I could do with all that unchanneled lust. But my daughter knows his infatuation and had told us both that she finds it disgusting. I could never do anything that would change her respect for me, and there's no way she'd ever understand it. Even as a grown woman.

And I'm not even hot for this kid, just horny and find him cute. I can't imagine how worked up you must be, imagining yourself giving in to that particular fantasy. So tantalizing...whew!

 

[subwannabe]

To get off the subject for just a little bit, I find it kind of hard to believe (not impossible, just hard) that a man is not interested in sex. Are you sure he is not getting any, from someone else? This kind of reminds me of a story I read once in Dear Abby. A gentleman was all bummed out that he had been faithful to his wife for decades even though she would not have sex with him. He was very religious and refused to break his vows but found out in the end that she had not given up sex at all - she was getting plenty through an affair she had been having for a very long time. He was very depressed that he was now much much older and had missed out on a lot of good years while his wife hadn't really given up sex at all.

 

[Emerson40]

Back in college, one of the guys on my hockey team had sex with his good friend's mom. I remember thinking at the time that this guy was one lucky son of a bitch, as the mom was a fine looking woman, especially in the eyes of a nineteen year old.

Within a few weeks the story of what had happened reached hot mom's son. He and the friend fought and their friendship crumbled. Shortly thereafter, his friend's mom came to the next few games and shouted "whore" and "slut" at the son's mom, from across the arena. The son ended up quitting the team, and had a huge falling out with his mother, who was also now dealing with her furious husband, who had heard the news (I believe from the friend's mom).

The son finished school, but he and his friend never spoke again. Before obtaining his degree, his parents divorced. And despite the efforts of his two sisters and his dad to encourage him to put this bit of history behind him, this guy has probably only seen his mom a handful of times in the last twenty years.

This is a sad, and I will grant, an extreme case. But the point is that there are sometimes consequences, and undesired results from these things that can linger long after the bedclothes are laundered, and the memories of the experience start to fade.

I suggest you grab your husband by the balls, let him know that you are in need of a good solid rogering. Advise him (only half-jokingly ) that if he does not provide you with this, you will have to find it elsewhere.
If you should feel that elsewhere is the way to go, that is your business. If you feel an eager, handsome, and fit nineteen year old is the scratch you need for your itch, again your business. But I suggest it would be best to find one equal to the task who is not a friend of your son.

 

[MsQuote]

Don't go there. Just don't go there.

If you're really hot to do it with a younger man, find one who doesn't know your son.

 

[Lisa469]

It's not worth it.

It might sound great now but the ramifications that could come of it is not worth it.

 

[knot_sweet]

If it was your son having sex with your married friend, would you approve?

Doubt it.

That being the case, if you must cheat, I'd suggest paying for it from a professional. That way, if your marriage does get back on track, you paid for a service, you didn't pick a guy guy cos you were attracted to him.

 

[imready2]

Guuuuuh. You have no idea how bad I want to. If I were sure he would keep it quiet, there would be a 99.9% chance I would hump this dude. There's no way I will make the first move, and I have NO idea what I would do if he made the first move. The room gets very spin-y when I think about it, and now I can't stop thinking about it.

The sexless marriage will probably go on until my son graduates from college. I'm probably going to have to make the first move IF it ends, and I just don't see myself doing that until my son is no longer depending on us.

But it's not like I want to sex some random guy -- I'd prefer it be my husband, but that's not happening. I just find this guy very alluring. And now just throw in how long it's been since I've had sex.

A random guy would be better!
My son has spoken to me about his friend having sex with another friend's Mother and believe me everyone knows.
They also knew she was very flirty,(some of us parent knew too!) This young guy just took advantage of it. They all felt he did the wrong thing but she was worse as she was the Mother, the older Adult that should have known better.
It has put a small wedge into his group that have been friends for years but everyone feels for the Mother's son where she has ZERO respect!.

 

[Kikoro]

I have to agree that now is not the time. If you are looking at a risky play, you can bring out the divorce-or-sex ultimatum (which, by the way, there is precedent in courts now for favorable divorce terms based on refusal to have sex). If he ignores it, you have that much stronger of a position in a divorce settlement, but if he takes it seriously and still has feelings for you, maybe you can at least get him to talk about why he's not sleeping with you anymore (as a first step to recovering your marriage). Don't pull this card unless you are absolutely prepared to take either consequence, though.

 

[jmfeb]

I figure I'll give an update.

We had sex this weekend (and we actually had a quick session before Friday too). I went through with it because he was very reassuring and understanding when it was made clear I don't want anyone who could tell my son to find out. And before anyone responds with, "He would've said anything to get you in bed," I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it to be true.

Also I've wanted him pretty bad for quite a while, so it got increasingly hard pass up the chance.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Good luck.

 

[Emerson40]

What is it about the lure of the peni and va-jay-jay that cause some people to completely forget their minds.

Some folks have more discretion with the sharing of their chapstick than they do with their genitals.

 

[N2outdoors]

Listen

Long time lurker and I figured this would be the ONLY place I could talk about my situation...

My situation: married and have a son who is a senior in high school. My husband and I have kind of had a lame duck relationship for the last 10 or so years, mostly staying together because it's easier. Sexually, he's not very interested. I mean, IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR. At that point you're just neglecting your marital obligations IMO. I've tried to talk to him about an open marriage deal, but to no avail.

So last night I was at the gym with my son's friend. I try to go at the same time he goes because I find him very easy on the eyes and he's kind of developed into my workout buddy (dark hair, piercing blue eyes, muscular, stubble -- HOT). Anyways, I mentioned that my husband's going on a business trip next Friday to a certain city, and my son is going with him since he's looking at a school there. He mentioned coming over, so I could spend time with someone. I kinda deflected and said you shouldn't be wasting your Friday night, but then he replied with, "Wouldn't be wasting. I'm thinking of a thing or two we could do that'd be fun."

Did he just totally put the moves on me? Or is he just coming over? I definitely have a thing for him -- he's kind of the reason I found this place (mother and son's friends stories do it for me). He turned 18 in August BTW.

I agree with the other posters, avoid this complicated mess.

 

[Emerson40]

I agree with the other posters, avoid this complicated mess.

Too late.

I figure I'll give an update.

We had sex this weekend (and we actually had a quick session before Friday too). I went through with it because he was very reassuring and understanding when it was made clear I don't want anyone who could tell my son to find out. And before anyone responds with, "He would've said anything to get you in bed," I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it to be true.

Also I've wanted him pretty bad for quite a while, so it got increasingly hard pass up the chance.

 

[amofiga]

So now he's one lucky son of a bitch who will forever remember the MILF of a friend he stuck his dick into when he was just a teenager. You will get to remember a hot time with a kid literally young enough to be your son and how you got to live out a true slut fantasy. Hope that doesn't sound harsh. I'm really not being judgemental because deep down I suppose wish I had that memory. Just keep your fingers crossed that it doesn't come to light because lots of folks tend to not think kindly of that sort of thing.

 

[DarkPleasures]

Did he just totally put the moves on me? Or is he just coming over? I definitely have a thing for him -- he's kind of the reason I found this place (mother and son's friends stories do it for me). He turned 18 in August BTW.

What you need to ask yourself is if it's worth cheating on your husband to fuck a "kid" (yes, I know you said he's eighteen...still a kid IMO). You may crush your husband and kill his spirit - if you care. You may hurt your son once word gets out (and, with "kids" it will).

If the marriage is dead, consider a divorce. If you want to fuck eighteen year olds, you may have to find one that's not your son's friend.

 

[DarkPleasures]

I figure I'll give an update.

We had sex this weekend (and we actually had a quick session before Friday too). I went through with it because he was very reassuring and understanding when it was made clear I don't want anyone who could tell my son to find out. And before anyone responds with, "He would've said anything to get you in bed," I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it to be true.

Also I've wanted him pretty bad for quite a while, so it got increasingly hard pass up the chance.

Why did you post in How To if you planned on fucking the kid anyway?

 

[satindesire]

What is the point of being in a sexless marriage again?

Oh, because your 18 year old nearly adult and highly functional and independant son "Depends" on you and your husband being married, for some reason?

How about you stop make lame, transparent excuses and just quickly, quietly and cleanly divorce him, and then fuck whoever you want.

I have kids. I am a mother. I. KNOW. What it's like to be unhappy. Did I fuck other people? No. I stuck it out because it was worth it. Your marriage is no longer worth it. Stop being a horrible person all over some sexual attention. You can get all the dickings you could ever want single.

 

[monkeyman057]

I hope for your sons sake he keeps quiet about it. I don't condone cheating at all but I'm also 100% sure that we don't have the whole story regarding your marriage. At some point you have to start taking care of your own needs if your husband isn't going to. I think it takes a LONG time to get to that point but only you know the finer details of your situation.

I have to agree with some other posters on one point though. You need to either fix your marriage or get out of it. At 18 years old your son no longer needs the same kind of stability at home that he did when he was 8. He can pick one of you and live with you if it comes down to it. Really he needs a roof over his head and a financial saftey net to help him transition to the real world of paying rent and car notes and insurance, etc. You can both still provide that without being married to each other.

Do yourself and your husband a favor and rip this band-aid off so that you can get on with seeking your happiness without causing more pain than is necessary.

 

[unregistered]

 

[TeaforMe]

It's pretty obvious this person does not care about consequences or has any common sense whatsoever to trust the words of a horny 18 year old boy. What an idiot.