" Normal" sex

[Mskey]

my friend and I were chatting the other day and we came to the topic of sex- whoa big suprise there huh baby? -anyhoo we were joking around about me being a perv due to a certain sexual encounter I was retelling and he assured me I wasn't. We got to talking about how everyone has a little perv in them, that's " normal" but when you stray outside of that things get strange. He said he was into plain ol "normal" sex and so I asked him to define " Normal" and some of the answers I got were interesting and it got me wondering....

In the realm of sexuality what do you consider " normal" and what is extreme, taboo, or outright wrong?

For me there are the obvious things, ANYTHING involving kids, Necrophelia and animals. To me these just obviously scream out WRONG!!! (hopefully pedophelia and Necrophelia are wrong to EVERYONE.) Now in spite of how I feel there are people out there who do not find say animal sex to be " wrong".

So in this day and age what defines a sexual norm?

 

[Irish_Steve]

As I get older (I'm 33 now) and experience more things (not just sexual, but life in general) less and less things seem weird or crazy to me.

Some stuff, like kids, animals, dead bodies, water sports and stuff just seem beyond crazy and into another area altogether. Anything that involves someone or something that doesn't or can't consent is wrong imho.

But everything else - I just find it hard to consider it really weird anymore.

There's stuff like S&M, heavy bondage, stuff like that, which doesn't interest me or get me off, but I know that it works well for lots of other folk, and that's just fine with me.

There's lots of stuff I'd like to try too, and I guess if I was doing it every day it would technically be 'normal'.

I guess it's a definition thing - is normal something that you do regularly? Or is it more about what does and doesn't freak you out?

 

[Mskey]

excellent answer!

You make a good point. I mean for someone who is involved in a D/s relationship it might not seem out of the norm, same goes for a couple that may engage in watersports on a regular basis. For me I shake my head and think why in the world would that turn anyone on, or what kind of freak gets off on that, but for those that do it it's perfectly " normal".

Peoples definitions of " normal" in this area interest me quite a bit since I know people who think my attraction to sex in public places is " abnormal". I even have a girlfriend who thinks any sex other then man on top missionary is abnormal and has no desire to try anything else.

TY for your reply...btw!

 

[Irish_Steve]

I think that some of the things I'd like to try sexually (threesomes, group, combinations of other races, physical body types etc) are interesting to me because they are NOT normal insofar as that I either haven't done them before or haven't done them very much (maybe once or twice).

So technically, in that regarding, they are not 'normal' sex.

HOWEVER, they are not, in my regard, particularly freaky or weird. So in that regard, they ARE normal.

You asked a very interesting question to start this thread, and I hope I'm not clouding the issue up with my weird double-definition

 

[Bobmi357]

I would define normal as what ever feels right to you and your adult partner so long as you don't hurt anyone in the process.

Of course this definition doesn't work for necrophillia since your partner is beyond caring, but hey, if you want inanimate objects, get a blow up doll, or my ex.

 

[ReadyOne]

Paraphrasing Forest Gump, "Normal is as normal does".

But I'd say "Normal is what you want and are willing to do."

 

[SexyChele]

For me, I think normal is whatever is within the consenting boundaries a couple has. Not very exciting, I know, huh?

The gross, abnormal stuff for me (and this is only me!) would be anything at all with children, animals, necrophilia, scat, knife play, breath play, and anything to do with blood. (And yes, I do understand that there are folks who do not have problems with knife play, breath play, and blood, but it just isn't my thing.)

 

[midwestyankee]

I read this question a little differently.

Most people think of "normal" as meaning something that is practiced by a majority of the members of a population. So it is normal to have an IQ within two standard deviations of 100 for example. It is normal to earn within two standard deviations of the median income.

When we talk about what we ourselves think of as normal, often we are talking about what we consider acceptable. That's how someone with a D/s relationship can think it's quite "normal" to have sex with a ball stuck in her mouth.

A second way of thinking about this is to consider our sex acts as a population that can be measured. We look back on all the things we have done, and the ones that are most frequent are the ones we consider normal. I think this contributes to our sense of what is and what is not acceptable within our own lives.

Sorry, but my inner engineer just took over. I'll get him back into his little cubicle soon enough.

And you thought I was going to answer this question?

 

[ReadyOne]

I suspect we could do a little variance analysis and find that there are several very different list of "normal" for groups of different backgrounds and groups of different personalities.

(St. Paddy's day is coming!)

 

[Texan Missy Jean]

As I get older (I'm 33 now) and experience more things (not just sexual, but life in general) less and less things seem weird or crazy to me.

Some stuff, like kids, animals, dead bodies, water sports and stuff just seem beyond crazy and into another area altogether. Anything that involves someone or something that doesn't or can't consent is wrong imho.

But everything else - I just find it hard to consider it really weird anymore.

There's stuff like S&M, heavy bondage, stuff like that, which doesn't interest me or get me off, but I know that it works well for lots of other folk, and that's just fine with me.

There's lots of stuff I'd like to try too, and I guess if I was doing it every day it would technically be 'normal'.

I guess it's a definition thing - is normal something that you do regularly? Or is it more about what does and doesn't freak you out?

This post very well sums up my views. As long as a person's partner is of consenting age and in the right frame of mind (i.e. not drugged or physically or mentally handicapped so you can have your way with him/her), it should be fine.

I have also matured in my thinking. I'm nearly 30 and would never have considered doing at 20, what I do or have done in the last couple years.

To answer the last part, the question; I think for me what is not "norman" would probably be more what would freak me out. Just because I don't do it, it doesn't make it abnormal. I guess, lol.

 

[Texan Missy Jean]

Ok, please bear with me. Can someone please explain to me what "water sports" and "breath play" is? I kind of have an idea, but want to clarify.

TYIA!

 

[Irish_Steve]

Watersports is fun with 'pee'.

I think 'breath sports' is autoerotic asphyxiation, but I'm not sure.

 

[Texan Missy Jean]

Thank you. I had the right idea about "water sports" but was off on the "breath play". I think I will stay completely away from both.

 

[Irish_Steve]

I'm SO curious though - what did you think breath play was?
And I'm not 100% that I was right in my definition...

 

[PrincessHoney]

if it feels good then do it...


myself i'm not into anything non-consentual but thats just me.... we all have our kinks... not just in sex!
think about the wierd combinations in food that taste good - mmmm actually thats back to sex!

 

[SexyChele]

Ok, please bear with me. Can someone please explain to me what "water sports" and "breath play" is? I kind of have an idea, but want to clarify.

TYIA!

Watersports is any activity involving urine. Either urinating on one's partner, or being urinated on. It can also involve ingesting urine.

Breath play involves choking or the cessation of breathing for sexual pleasure. Usually means a partner will slowly cut off one's breathing, sometimes to the point of them passing out. Evidently, experiencing an orgasm during the cessation of breathing or on the verge of passing out is incredible. Of course, there is the danger that one could indeed strangle their partner accidently. There are some men who attempt to do this on their own by attempting a near hanging while they are wanking. Problem is, for some, they end up truly hanging themselves. I know some can play this safely and take pre-cautions, but the sensation of choking is one that is more uncomfortable to me than pleasurable. (Panic sets in for me and that overwhelms any other feeling I may have)

 

[Texan Missy Jean]

I'm SO curious though - what did you think breath play was?
And I'm not 100% that I was right in my definition...

I was thinking that breath play was where when the woman is receiving oral, the person doing it blows a large breath of air into her vagina. I have read that it is dangerous to do that.

 

[Noor]

well there is this tantra practice of shared breath


Normal? It is whatever my lover and I deem it to be. There are things I am not into scat, bdsm, kids, dead bodies, animals, blow up dolls, autoerotic asphyxiation (except by headset cord just joking and some I don't particularly care about one way or the other, things that are nice with some lovers, not so interesting with others and some things I don't mind but I would never instigate them myself.

 

[Quint]

For me, normal sex is hard and painful and usually when I'm not ready, physically or mentally. Normal often involves unnecessary violence and the above-mentioned breath play, though not to the point of passing out or cutting off the flow of blood to the brain--just my face in a pillow or his weight preventing me from inhaling fully. Normal is to hate it, to love it, to cry during and afterwards and to want to do it again soon, but never as soon as he wants to do it again.

Sure, I've got limits too, but that's just defining what my sex life is not.

 

[angela146]

There are some "abnormal" things that are done by a lot of people. That doesn't mean that they aren't wrong.

Some estimates are that 25% of all girls are sexually abused before age 18. Personally, I think that number is low, based on the unscientific "I've known too many women who experienced it" measurement.

Interestingly, the numbers for boys are really hard to determine because a lot of them don't feel they were abused. A 14 yo boy having sex with a 22 year old woman might look back on it very fondly.

Ask your favorite guy (or if you are a guy, ask yourself) if he had had the chance to have sex at 14 with a grown woman, would he have done it and would he now regret it? (OK assume she was kind, gentle, discrete, drop-dead cute and did it for his pleasure).

BTW: if you know anyone who grew up on a farm, ask them if they know of anyone who had sex with an animal. Before you listen to the answer, look at the face coloring. If he/she turns bright red, you probably have your answer .

 

[Bandit58]

~snip~
BTW: if you know anyone who grew up on a farm, ask them if they know of anyone who had sex with an animal. Before you listen to the answer, look at the face coloring. If he/she turns bright red, you probably have your answer .

ROFL!
I lived on a farm for 23+ years and never knew of anyone who had sex with an animal........but who knows what my ex husband is doing these days.....*WEG*

 

[shy little fairy]

poop

i think a lot of things can be normal (i mean, not for me, but still sound good...). however, personally, i do not like the idea of bodily functions (urinating, defecating), being involved in sex. no offense to any of you who like that, i just don't understand the turn on at ALL. in fact, it would definately kill the mood for me.
i guess that's the thing i don't understand about anal sex (maybe someday i'll want it). i mean, the idea of receiving it someday sounds ok to me (not particularly hot, but who knows?). however, i don't understand why a man would want to basically stick his penis into shit? but that's because of the fact that i just have my strong dislike for any of the holes in my nether region besides my vagina. oh well, i guess some things will never be understood by me.
however, while i doubt i will ever participate in gay sex, threesomes, bondage, or anything particularly "interesting", all of those things seem perfectly normal to me, and actually quite fun...

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Picture if you will... about a dozen crew chiefs sitting around in the office about two months ago, with nothing to do... somehow... we get on the topic of watersports due to our squadron deviant (see reference to the sheep lover in anal sex lube thread) after about 20 minutes of conversation... the majority of us expressing deep dislike for it, one of our newest Airmen... the one I was given to mold and shape, looks at us and asks... "What do you guys got against water polo... my friend got a college scholaship for it." I don't remember how long we laughed for, but at least three of us fell out of our chairs. Poor guy... no one has managed to explain it to him yet.

J

 

[potatohead]

Ask your favorite guy (or if you are a guy, ask yourself) if he had had the chance to have sex at 14 with a grown woman, would he have done it and would he now regret it? (OK assume she was kind, gentle, discrete, drop-dead cute and did it for his pleasure).

When I was 14 or 15 I came out of the shower & the bathroom to find our housekeeper (who was probably in her early 30's, and quite nice to look at) in the hallway. I, of course...was wearing a smile and nothing else except for a towel over my shoudler. Things were awkward for a minute or two and I ran into my room and got dressed. Though, it's tough to forget her glances. Looking back on it I probably would've tried something if I hadn't been scared out of my mind LOL.

 

[CelticFrog]

Picture if you will... about a dozen crew chiefs sitting around in the office about two months ago, with nothing to do... somehow... we get on the topic of watersports due to our squadron deviant (see reference to the sheep lover in anal sex lube thread) after about 20 minutes of conversation... the majority of us expressing deep dislike for it, one of our newest Airmen... the one I was given to mold and shape, looks at us and asks... "What do you guys got against water polo... my friend got a college scholaship for it." I don't remember how long we laughed for, but at least three of us fell out of our chairs. Poor guy... no one has managed to explain it to him yet.

J

*sigh*
remind me to call the poor kid this weekend.

Ang