non-consent fantasies

[Smilodon]

Hey everyone.

Does anyone else fantasise about non consensual sex? I do sometimes and it worries me. Obviously I don't agree with rape so why does the idea turn me on sometimes?

Can anyone shed some light on this?

Thanks

Smiley

 

[bluntforcemama]

I think LOTS of people fantasize about nonconsensual sex. I think you can fulfill those fantasies safely, through role playing in the bedroom with a willing mate. I think you'd be surprised at how many people find nonconsensual sex a turn-on.

 

[BlondGirl]

The thing about Nonconsent fantasies we have, we only go as far as we want to.

Not like reality where things we don't really want to experience do occur.

Example--The common rape fantasty. Stranger comes in--forces me to have sex--really forces me to "endure" oral sex.
Yeah. I like that one. He doesn't peel my skin off as a method of murder and rob my house in my fantasies.

2nd example-- I take control of someone, Brad Pitt for example. I tie him down. Make him service me. Ride him all I want. Tattoo my name above his pubic hair. Of course, in my fantasy, he decides he must stay with me and service me forever. In my fantasy, the police never get involved and I never head to prison or lose my family.

Fantasy is still just fantasy.

 

[christophe]

check out nessus new thread!

 

[Off]

Shut up.
Bend over.
Take it all, bitch.......

 

[Guest]

Oh, yes, just like that. Now get on your knees, asshole, and suck my clit.

 

[TigerClaw]

.....

.....

 

[horny_giraffe]

Hey everyone.

Does anyone else fantasise about non consensual sex? I do sometimes and it worries me. Obviously I don't agree with rape so why does the idea turn me on sometimes?

Can anyone shed some light on this?

Thanks

Smiley

All of the goddamm rules--don't do this, don't do that--they really piss me off. Big reason why BDSM culture never appealed to me was the appearance that it was all about rules. I can't imagine enjoying myself if I had to maintain some strict awareness of the rules all the time. It's like living next to a barbed-wire fence.

I think a big part of the appeal of non-consensual sex, for me, is the suspension of rules. You do what you like. It's already rape. You've already crossed the line. No more worrying about taboos, about whether or not you are satisfying your partner ...

Maybe the best thing would be just to stay away from the edge. If you stay well within conservative territory, you don't notice the barbed wire limits of acceptable behavior off in the distance. If you keep a blow-job as some remote fantasy, and the multi-person orgy as "shocking," then you can feel like it's still a big and exciting world and anything is possible. Maybe it's not too late ...

 

[lilminx]

HG

Where would the fun in that be?

 

[WhisperingWinds]

Hey everyone.

Does anyone else fantasise about non consensual sex? I do sometimes and it worries me. Obviously I don't agree with rape so why does the idea turn me on sometimes?

Can anyone shed some light on this?

Thanks

Smiley

Good question. Lots of varied answers depending on who you ask. Here's my take on this coming from childhood abuse and surviving multiple rapes:

1) There's an attraction for having that time span where you have to compromise absolutely nothing of what you want with another person regardless of a differing opinion.
2) There's an attraction for lowering and leaving behind your learned behavior (ie courtesy, patience, compromise, politeness)
3) There's a fine line in the human emotional range and some of them are tied together at times in some people in varying degrees (ie anger and passion). The adrenaline surge hits in strange ways individually.
4) Sometimes there is an attraction to being forced to do something that may normally go against your beliefs, motivations, personality to experience the sensation or activity without assuming the "responsibility" for the decision (ie coming away without personal guilt)
5) Sometimes it is simply an expression of feelings that bottle up with no outlet whether it is a form of self punishment (perceived) or lack of self identity.

I've read the books. I've been to counseling. I analyze everything in regards to my past and my associations with it. Rape and total domination have taken huge chunks of my life. To this day, as an outlet of expression for what the majority of the planet refuses to discuss or acknowledge - I still read the damn stories and have my own fantasies. It just is.

Peace y'all...

 

[horny_giraffe]

Re: HG

Where would the fun in that be?

I'd rather not know where the boundaries lie. But I'll telll you what. When I become dictator of the world, I won't be asking for concubines.

 

[Debbie]

Myst said it for me. quote"I think LOTS of people fantasize about nonconsensual sex. I think you can fulfill those fantasies safely, through role playing in the bedroom with a willing mate. I think you'd be surprised at how many people find nonconsensual sex a turn-on."


When i first started writing erotic stories at lit I was wary of writing non consensual because I didn't think it was something I would enjoy writing about.
Then I was contacted by a reader I wrote a story for that person based on his request. I gave it a go and wrote,Absloute Terror
then Absolute Terror 2 and am completing chapter 3. The feedback has been positive and I have enjoyed writing them. Fantasies are just that. Fantasy.

 

[Cocoa]

It's really not something that turns me on, but...

if it turns other people on, more power to them.

(Unless they actually DO it, of course)

 

[Mensa]

What a coincidence

2nd example-- I take control of someone, Blondgirl for example. I tie her down. Make her service me. Ride her all I want. Tattoo my name above her pubic hair. Of course, in my fantasy, she decides she must stay with me and service me forever. In my fantasy, the police never get involved and I never head to prison or lose my family.

Amazing!! I have had the exact same fantasy!

 

[sch00lteacher]

This is one I have never had.

Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with it, unless it is acted upon. Meaning one partner really did NOT want to play.

Playing out the fantasy with a partner would be fine if both were into it. I know from research that a lot of women have this fantasy (Nancy Friday and others).

 

[Desdemona]

I think its a common fantasy.

As a subject for role play with a trusted partner, I have found non consent to be highly erotic.

 

[Andreina]

Re: What a coincidence

Amazing!! I have had the exact same fantasy!

The nice thing about roleplaying is that they are roleplaying... more so online..... a fantasy sometimes better remains a fantasy.
but nothing wrong with rape-fantasies... trust me, i've got a halo *quickly polishing halo*

 

[BlondGirl]

Re: What a coincidence

Amazing!! I have had the exact same fantasy!

Come on, baby. Let's play.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I can only speak for myself, but from the control side of the equation, I think the reason why I fantasize and would like to role play non-consensual sex has to do with the control aspect of the game. There are so many aspects of our lives where we don't have control or very much control, that being able to be in total control of sex, with no or very little compromise as to what someone else needs or wants, even someone as close as an intimate lover, let's us burn off some of the stress of life.

I believe but do not know that this may also be a factor on the other side of the equation; in that the person who lets go of control, and is in control by another person, is able to let go of a lot of stress by not being responsible for what happens.

Of course, people's psyches are complex, so there are probably multiple factors that come to play, and probably different ones come to fore for different people, but I believe for those where non-consensual sex is a fantasy or sometime role playing game, that what I described above is a major factor.

I have only fantasized about fairly mild non-consensual sex games where I am mildly rough, but very firmly in control, nothing really having to do with real pain (some spanking sometimes as a prelude), but nothing that my partner would intensely dislike, and there would always be some discussion of what each person wanted beforehand and a safe word to prevent me from going too far.

I could never actually rape a woman though - the biggest turn off for me is when a woman cries or is actually hurt in any way - but having a woman resist and play at saying "no" would be fun.

 

[Guest]

Wow, STG, the only reason you couldn't rape a woman is because you'd be turned off by her crying???? You're one sick prick. Forget the fact that it's a complete violation of her body, something which no person should ever have to endure. Forget the fact that it will probably be the most devastating thing that will have occur in her life. But that doesn't seem to compare to you being turned off by her crying. Great fucking reason.

 

[BlondGirl]

Guess who gets the "Prick of the Day" sticker!

 

[girl]

Funny how Unreg completely missed the part about not wanting the women 'actually hurt in any way.'
What an idj.

Anyway, I actually wrote a post on this very topic on another board ((shhh....don't tell). I'm going to cut and paste it here, because I'm a lazyass Someone in that thread had posited that one of the reasons might be a woman's idea of being so irrisistible that the man just can't control himself (noted because of a reference within the post):

Actually, I've given a whole lot of thought to the reasons behind rape fantasies since I first actually accepted that they're powerful scenes for me. I believe that for most women there are several reasons for having a force fantasy. For some, it's directly related to an experience from their pasts. There are all kinds of psychological reasons for it...fixation on the event, trying to erase it by replaying it, trying to understand it, guilt, whatever. Those of us who have been lucky enough *not* to have lived through a sexual assault may be a bit more difficult to peg.

I imagine that your thoughts on it are probably right for many women. For me, the issue of being overly attractive to someone else isn't a factor. In my force fantasies, the reason for the force isn't the turn on, though I imagine it probably is for some women. I've come to a couple conclusions for me, one of which I think is pretty universal to most women.

First, my main kink is body betrayal. That's basically when made to do something I shouldn't get off on and I find my body getting off on it anyway. My mind fights it, but eventually has to acquiesce to the fact that my body is completely into it. All of my major kinks tie into that kink - and let me assure that I'm a very kinky girl. That being said, the physical force is very handy in feeding the main kink. (It's not completely necessary - there are other ways of accomplishing it - but it's handy)

Second, the force scenes obviously absolve me of responsibility. When my kinks get downright dirty, my 'higher moral' self doesn't have to worry about the conflict of what I'm doing and my self worth. I'm being forced, I can't help it, not my fault. So I can do all manner of kinky things and it's okay. (Even tho I believe, intellectually, it's okay anyway - the moral self isn't generally intellectual)

Finally, and I think this is more universal than the others, rape is a very big and very real fear in any woman's life. No, most don't go around quaking in their boots, but it's something that's always somewhere in a woman's mind if she's out alone, or home alone, or planning how she's going to meet her friends at such and such place in the evening. The force fantasies are mechanisms to cope with the reality of the world we live in. It's like taking it back and making it ours. Yes, the risk is still out there, but it's easier to cope with when you've jerked off to it a few times.

I do want to make clear, however, that women who have force fantasies, rape fantasies, do not want to be raped. After all, in our fantasies, the person (people) involved is doing things to us we want. Real rape is not that; it never was and never will be.

So, that's my not-so-clinical reasoning for why force fantasies are so popular and why they're some of my personal favorites. And I imagine there are a million more reasons out there...

My .02,
girl

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Wow, STG, the only reason you couldn't rape a woman is because you'd be turned off by her crying???? You're one sick prick.

Well that didn't take long!

I knew if/when I came back there would be some asshole who couldn't resist trying to push my buttons, and I wasn't dissapointed, and I am not surprised it was a troll who didn't have the balls to post under his/her real name.

So, UR, in honor of your being the first, I am going to break my rule of not responding to trolls and answer your question, even though you don't really care what I have to say, you just asked a rhetorical question to get a rise out of me, and maybe some others as well.

So - UR, read my post again; I did not say that was the only reason I could not rape a woman - as you inferred. Like most trolls your reading comprehension and logic suck, but then you don't have to be intelligent or literate to be a troll do you? Just the opposite as a matter of fact.

What I said is that I could not rape a woman because actually hurting someone is a turn-off for me; as in it being repugnant to me. That includes her violation and the damage it would do to her psyche.

You see, probably unlike you, I do actually know, intimately, rape and molestation survivors. I know how it affects their lives almost as well as they do - you see, these people are extremely close to me, and one of them is completely screwed up by what happened to her, is now a drug addict, in constant therapy for what happened to her and later to her daughter - and all of that is just the tip of the iceberg; something that I have had to deal with fulltime for 30 years.

So - go ahead, tell me all about rape and how it affects people - because I don't think you have a fucking clue what you are talking about, and I know you don't have a clue as to where I am coming from.

But then, you already knew that didn't you? Being a troll you revel in being an asshole, making unjustified accusations regardless of the ramifications, just to gain attention to your posts. You don't really care about the issue, you just use it to push people's buttons, and in this case to make yourself look good to boot.

To me, that is the definition of a "sick prick".

 

[Andreina]

rolePLAYING.... thats what it is about.... it is a fantasy