Nobody Knows

[BiBunny]

Yeah, this is Bunny's own attention-getting, self-pitying thread. My apologies in advance.

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
But these four walls close in more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown, I put on a show
The pain is real, even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumbling down
I could say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile
When I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody
Without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

I lie awake
It's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah, my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle
It's been torn all apart

A million words couldn't say
Just how I feel
A million years from now, you know
I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow mornin'
I'll hit the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever
Wherever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I'm not going to get into it too much. If anyone reads my posts that I have scattered around this forum, you've probably picked up on it already. Just please no "I told you sos," ok? I don't think I can take much kicking while I'm down. Thanks.

 

[HottieMama]

i'm here for you if you need to talk.

 

[BiBunny]

i'm here for you if you need to talk.

Thank you. I just don't know what else there is to say that hasn't been said before. He's obviously not the man I thought he was, which, of course, doesn't make me love him any less, unfortunately.

 

[HottieMama]

Thank you. I just don't know what else there is to say that hasn't been said before. He's obviously not the man I thought he was, which, of course, doesn't make me love him any less, unfortunately.

i completely understand. My ex, S, did the same thing...just disappeared...and it sucked...and sometimes it still does suck...made worse by the fact that he was my first D/s relationship.

Doncha' wish love was like a light switch sometimes..so you could just turn it off??

 

[graceanne]

Is there something in the air? Cause a lot of guys have been breaking a lot of hearts recently. *hugs* I'm so sorry, honey.

 

[nh23]

Sorry to hear your feeling so low bunny...HUGS

 

[neonflux]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}}}}}}

How could anyone possibly say "I told you so?" It sucks that he's not giving you any closure. (That to me indicates that he is afraid to see you, afraid because he still has strong feelings despite the choice he made - men are such cowards sometimes.)

I was where you are right now only one year ago, and I am still so close to it. My heart has been aching for you ever since your first post. I admire you for having the strength to pick up and "live your life" regardless of how you are doing inside. That's so much more difficult than sinking into it. I also admire you for sitting with the feelings you have. I am glad that you have friends around, that you have your GF. I would just sit with you, if I could.

Since I can't, what is your preference?

Hot tea...

http://www.reallynatural.com/archives/hot-tea-thumb.jpg

Hot toddy...

http://www.tassimodirect.com/tassimo/images/discover/recipes/recipe_hot_toddy.jpg

Hot chocolate...

http://eggandsoldier.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/HotChocolate.jpg

(and then there are always the pointy-toed shoes).

Neon

P.S., this was just so silly I couldn't resist...

http://hillquest.com/images/pig-lipstick.jpg

 

[neonflux]

P.P.S. From Leonard...

 

[MasterPhoenix]

so sorry BB....

If you need a freind...

 

[minx1]

My heart goes out to you Bibunny.

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

You don't know me BB but I have read your posts and I am so sorry to hear this .....Hugs to you

 

[SweetGigi]

Is there something in the air? Cause a lot of guys have been breaking a lot of hearts recently. *hugs* I'm so sorry, honey.

Dude, word. *nods knowingly*

BB, you know I can feel you. You KNOW I feel your pain here. I am soooo sorry, sweetie. I don't know what I can offer you, but I'm here if you need something. Not too far away either. The only thing I can say is that it will get better. For some it doesn't take long, for others it is just a small time. But no matter what, you know you are better than this, and will rise above it.

all my heart--

 

[Evil_Geoff]

...
I'm not going to get into it too much. If anyone reads my posts that I have scattered around this forum, you've probably picked up on it already. Just please no "I told you sos," ok? I don't think I can take much kicking while I'm down. Thanks.

Kicking you while you're down??? Hmmmmm......
Spanking... YUP!
Flogging... YUP!
Caning... OH MY YES!
Shocking... YUP!
Spanking... YUP!
Poking... YUP!
Did I mention Spanking? YES! Good! Didn't want to leave that off the list.
But I hadn't thought about kicking you. Are you into that? ? ?

 

[BiBunny]

Thanks, everybody. Bunny is, unfortunately, one of those people who has a hard time letting people in, and, once she does let them in, she has an even harder time letting them go.

Far and away the worst part about it is the "Doms" I thought were my friends who are, in essence, saying, "Ok, get over him. I can own you now!" Oh, fuck you. My heart is broken, and all you can think about is your next conquest? You're no Dom and certainly no friend, either. Furthermore, I have no desire to be owned for a very long time, maybe not ever. One can explore all kinds of aspects of this lifestyle without a collar around the neck.

Can you tell I'm REALLY pissed about this? Ignorant fucktards.

 

[neonflux]

Thanks, everybody. Bunny is, unfortunately, one of those people who has a hard time letting people in, and, once she does let them in, she has an even harder time letting them go.

Far and away the worst part about it is the "Doms" I thought were my friends who are, in essence, saying, "Ok, get over him. I can own you now!" Oh, fuck you. My heart is broken, and all you can think about is your next conquest? You're no Dom and certainly no friend, either. Furthermore, I have no desire to be owned for a very long time, maybe not ever. One can explore all kinds of aspects of this lifestyle without a collar around the neck.

Can you tell I'm REALLY pissed about this? Ignorant fucktards.

I believe that Miss Rebecca had an answer to the "ignorant fucktard" question here... Neon

 

[SweetGigi]

Bunny.... I know exactly how you feel. Just because I am 'free' and I am dating some does NOT mean I ready for a new collar.


thanks for asking though...

 

[BiBunny]

Bunny.... I know exactly how you feel. Just because I am 'free' and I am dating some does NOT mean I ready for a new collar.


thanks for asking though...

Gigi, I thought about you as I was posting that. I don't know that I'll ever want another collar, but I damn sure don't want one less than a month later. There's a guy in town who's driving me nuts. I thought he was my friend at first. Now he keeps making these stupid references to "when you're mine" and things like that. There's no when it, asshole. I'll never be yours, especially with you having that kind of attitude. I'm a person with thoughts and feelings and emotions, not a THING to be acquired. I'm tired of how he keeps asking if I've talked to B. and saying, "Well, you should just move on if that's all he thinks about you. You won't even be worried about him in no time." Excuse me? You know nothing about the state of my emotions right now. When I love someone, I'm not going to be able to "let him go in no time."

It's not just this guy, either. I'm getting it from all sides, but he's the worst. Why is such a big deal for me to take time for me? Oh, I know. Because men are selfish fuckers. (No offense to the non-selfish ones.)

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Dear Bunny,

If my earlier post in any way made you feel taken for granted, that in my eyes are seen as someone less important or deserving, I apologize because that was not my intent.

I was, in my usually irreverent way, trying to make you smile by shamelessly flirting. I was hoping to help you feel better by making you realize that you are still an attractive, vibrant, very worthwhile woman, even though your world is less than grand right now.

I would hope that I am NOT in the asshat column.
















I look silly with toilet paper dangling over my ears....

 

[BiBunny]

No, no, silly EG. I'm talking about you. I took your post in the manner it was meant. You could never be an asshat. Besides, I rather like your irreverent way.

 

[neonflux]

...It's not just this guy, either. I'm getting it from all sides, but he's the worst. Why is such a big deal for me to take time for me? Oh, I know. Because men are selfish fuckers. (No offense to the non-selfish ones.)

No, no, no, no, Bunny. That's not it. Don't you see that they have your very best interest at heart. They are all very selfless men who only want to bring you comfort....

Neon

 

[BiBunny]

No, no, no, no, Bunny. That's not it. Don't you see that they have your very best interest at heart. They are all very selfless men who only want to bring you comfort....

Neon

Oh, yes. I keep forgetting that. Though I can't possibly see how, since they keep reminding me.

Seriously, if there are any sub-less, clueless Doms lurking about on this thread, accosting chicks who've just gotten out of a relationship is NOT how you endear yourself to them and eventually own them. Kthanksbye.

 

[wenchhh]

awwww, Bunny. I'm so sorry girl. All's I can do is offer you a hug... you've got me crying and I don't even know you but barely. I too am here, if you need to vent. Broken hearts suck big time. Is it any WONDER it's so hard to take the chance and give it, to not protect it, and damn these ppl who don't take it seriously.
wicked big hugs from nh

Yeah, this is Bunny's own attention-getting, self-pitying thread. My apologies in advance.

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
But these four walls close in more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown, I put on a show
The pain is real, even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumbling down
I could say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile
When I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody
Without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

I lie awake
It's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah, my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle
It's been torn all apart

A million words couldn't say
Just how I feel
A million years from now, you know
I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow mornin'
I'll hit the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever
Wherever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I'm not going to get into it too much. If anyone reads my posts that I have scattered around this forum, you've probably picked up on it already. Just please no "I told you sos," ok? I don't think I can take much kicking while I'm down. Thanks.

 

[LunarKitten]

*huggles, snuggles and cuddles*

I do hope you get to feeling a bit better soon.

 

[BiBunny]

I miss...

~Staying up 'til the wee hours of the morning, just talking to you.

~Being able to talk to you about anything, knowing that you'll understand, that you'll never judge me, that you'll never think less of me for what I say.

~Being able to listen to you the same way you listen to me, understanding, without judgment, totally accepting you for who you are in ways that no one else does. It made me happy to know that you trusted me enough to confide in me.

~Lying next to you while you snored obnoxiously loud, loud enough to wake the dead, keeping me awake half the night, but me not caring because I just liked to watch you sleep.

~Snuggling close to you and feeling your body fur tickle my nose.

~Being covered in your body fur.

~The way you smell.

~The goofy things you'd say and do to get me to smile when I'd had a bad day.

~The way we more or less understood each other without having to speak.

~Watching you and your cat "talk" to each other.

~You holding me down and tickling me until I could hardly breathe.

~Sharing your lap space with the cat and grinning stupidly while you pet both our heads and call us "your two attention whores."

~Cleaning your house while you're gone to work, just because I knew it'd be one less thing you'd have to worry about, one less thing on you, one little thing that I could do for you.

~Listening to you tease me about my clumsiness, my silly faces, and my country-ass accent that occasionally slips out.

~Writing for you and hearing you tell me that I have quite the grasp of the English language.

~Running my fingers through your hair (you know I've always loved your hair), finding the spots that are rapidly thinning, imagining what you'll look like half-bald in a few more years, and smiling wistfully because I know I'll love you, anyway.

~Sitting in the floor while you sit on the couch and rubbing your feet for hours while you watch TV and/or play on your laptop.

~Sticking my cold feet under your legs while we sat on the couch together and giggling like an idiot when you told me that I don't produce my own body heat, while you rubbed my toes to warm them.

~That first hug and kiss when I first walk in the door after we haven't seen each other for awhile.

~Lying next to you in bed and complaining about freezing my ass off while you laughed at me and called me a heat leech as you pulled me close to you to stop my shivering.

~You blowing raspberries on my tummy while I laughed hysterically and begged you to stop.

~You believing in me, even when no one else did.

~You, out of nowhere, pulling me close to you to cuddle or kiss without the slightest provocation from me.

~Playing with your body fur.

~You covering me up, tucking me in like a child, and kissing my forehead while I gazed up sleepily at you. I have never felt safer, more secure, more loved in my whole life.

~Hearing you tell me I'm beautiful, even though we both know it isn't true.

~Hearing you tell me how special I am to you, how much you cared about me, how nothing will ever come between our friendship.

~Just hearing your voice--gentle, strong, comforting, disconcerting, and arrogant all at once.

~The feel of your whiskers on the soft skin of my neck and face.

~Knowing that you were one of my best friends and knowing most of the reason we understood each other so well was that we're so much alike.

~Believing that you really would always be there for me.


I miss you so goddamned much. There are no words.

 

[satindesire]

A tear shed for you bun-buns.

I'll cry for both of us if you can't anymore.