Noah Plot Bunny?

[R. Richard]

Is it possible that Noah was a practitioner of bestiality and/or zoophilia (is a paraphilia involving sexual activity between human and non-human animals or a fixation on such practice.)

Just a thought and a possible plot bunny.

 

[sr71plt]

Not secretly, certainly, He had his whole extended family in those confined quarters with him.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Could be an incest plot in there, if you're up for it.

 

[StrangeLife]

He had two of each so there was at least one girl available.

And if Noah was smart, he'd interpreted the rules as "one of each color" - i.e. two redheads, two blondes, two brunettes, two orientals, two blacks. Yeah, I bet he had fun

 

[sr71plt]

He had two of each so there was at least one girl available.

I guess you missed the part about him having taken his entire extended family aboard.

There were women aplenty.

 

[StrangeLife]

I guess you missed the part about him having taken his entire extended family aboard.

There were women aplenty.

Admitted, but when you go on vacation you don't want to eat the same food you have every day at home, right? Noah had done his wives, his daughters, maybe a goat or two... surely an extended sea voyage would be seen as an opportunity for trying out new things.

 

[sr71plt]

Admitted, but when you go on vacation you don't want to eat the same food you have every day at home, right? Noah had done his wives, his daughters, maybe a goat or two... surely an extended sea voyage would be seen as an opportunity for trying out new things.

Well, his boat would have sprung a divine leak then (if we're sticking to the myth), even if your assumptions that he was more attracted to his wife, daughters, daughter-in-laws and ewes than to his sons, sons-in-law, and rams () can be assumed. He wasn't given permission to take any more humans than his extended family--and the point was his giving obedience--so no blondes, redheads, and brunettes from across the sand dune.

 

[lovecraft68]

Funny to watch people try to come up with a plot bunny about a plot bunny.

Noah's Ark is a wives tale that's no less ridiculous than any Greek/Roman Egyptian(name your myth cycle) tale.

But I know since this is in the bible its supposed to be believed. Just like Pandora unleashing sin on the world by opening a box is silly because we all know it was cause Eve gave Adam an apple

So I'll sit back and grab my popcorn while I watch people argue over a fairy tale.

 

[sr71plt]

I don't see anyone on the thread swallowing the original story (I called it a myth). They are just having fun spinning the storyline as given in the Bible.

 

[lovecraft68]

I don't see anyone on the thread swallowing the original story (I called it a myth). They are just having fun spinning the storyline as given in the Bible.

Yes you did.

But I've seen other threads where people start getting offended because they drink this Kool Aid.

Whatever gets them through the night I suppose.

If I had to guess I would say he was screwing his family.

Why? Just keeping an air of realism. The Bible denounced homosexuality and also mentions it being a sin for man to lie with beasts.

I do not recall a verse saying not to lie with his sister/daughter etc...

So in keeping with good old biblical faith I guess he would diddle the kids.

I mean hey, the priests still do it now.

 

[sr71plt]

I don't see your side trip--wanting to argue about religion--as being anything this thread needs. We can play with the Noah story without poking at anyone's faith.

 

[lovecraft68]

 

[StrangeLife]

He wasn't given permission to take any more humans than his extended family--and the point was his giving obedience--so no blondes, redheads, and brunettes from across the sand dune.

He disobeyed his orders in other areas too. After watching this....

http://www.empireonline.com/images/features/spielbergat60/pictures/57/4.jpg

... he was like "No frigging way! I'm NOT cleaning that!"

So he left all the dinosaurs behind and thus they went extinct. Next to that, boinking a few redheads is nothing...

 

[sr71plt]

So he left all the dinosaurs behind and thus they went extinct. Next to that, boinking a few redheads is nothing...

Dinosaurs aren't anywhere in the original myth. I think they still exist, wandering around Wal-Marts. That's the only place I haven't looked for them.

 

[TxRad]

Dinosaurs aren't anywhere in the original myth. I think they still exist, wandering around Wal-Marts. That's the only place I haven't looked for them.

A very large asteroid off the Yucatan Peninsula did the dinosaurs in long before Noah's ancestors, ancestors showed up. It also started the rise of the mammals. Ya might say it was a fire flood.

 

[lovecraft68]

Dinosaurs aren't anywhere in the original myth. I think they still exist, wandering around Wal-Marts. That's the only place I haven't looked for them.

Dinosaurs are in the bible they just aren't called dinosaurs.

Behemoth and Leviathan were most likely dinosaurs

 

[sr71plt]

A very large asteroid off the Yucatan Peninsula did the dinosaurs in long before Noah's ancestors, ancestors showed up. It also started the rise of the mammals. Ya might say it was a fire flood.

So, you're saying I have no reason to go into a Wal-Mart(?) Yay!

 

[TxRad]

So, you're saying I have no reason to go into a Wal-Mart(?) Yay!

That about covers it. Although you can easily find some freaky characters for stories when ya need them.

 

[StrangeLife]

A very large asteroid off the Yucatan Peninsula did the dinosaurs in long before Noah's ancestors, ancestors showed up. It also started the rise of the mammals. Ya might say it was a fire flood.

According to Rick Santorum you're wrong. The Earth is 6000 years old and the reason why Carbon 14 dating says differently is that God moves in mysterious ways...

 

[sr71plt]

According to Rick Santorum you're wrong. The Earth is 6000 years old and the reason why Carbon 14 dating says differently is that God moves in mysterious ways...

You should have had a smiley face behind the words "Rick Santorum."

 

[lovecraft68]

According to Rick Santorum you're wrong. The Earth is 6000 years old and the reason why Carbon 14 dating says differently is that God moves in mysterious ways...

I can't rag on Rick anymore because of Bella.

But there are plenty of other bible thumpers I can mock so I won't get bored anytime soon.

 

[Hypoxia]

Noe's invisible friend told him to gather all kinds, in pairs, of all critters that walk on all fours, including insects. The only insects I can think of that qualify are mantids. Thus, mantids are divine and ladybugs are satanic, right? He had to get seven pairs of each species of birds. But one pair, or seven pairs, do not a breeding population make.

Noe's family didn't constitute a breeding population either, not without divine magic to drive genetic diversity. But the paterfamilias had great power then, so Noe did indeed probably screw his sons' wives. Tradition!

 

[lovecraft68]

Noe's invisible friend told him to gather all kinds, in pairs, of all critters that walk on all fours, including insects. The only insects I can think of that qualify are mantids. Thus, mantids are divine and ladybugs are satanic, right? He had to get seven pairs of each species of birds. But one pair, or seven pairs, do not a breeding population make.

Noe's family didn't constitute a breeding population either, not without divine magic to drive genetic diversity. But the paterfamilias had great power then, so Noe did indeed probably screw his sons' wives. Tradition!

I think what Noah took was two each of all the funny mushrooms and he dreamed up the whole thing.

 

[SecondCircle]

Wait are we calling him Noe? Is that like a... like a thing?

 

[TxRad]

According to Rick Santorum you're wrong. The Earth is 6000 years old and the reason why Carbon 14 dating says differently is that God moves in mysterious ways...

Rick who?

It has nothing to do with Carbon 14. It has to do with the way the layer cake of earth is stacked and what ain't supposed to be covering the complete earth in a thin layer. Dinosaurs on the bottom side and none above that thin line.

Geology is a bitch to people who want to rewrite the history of the earth. Its set in stone so to speak.